FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I'm confused
I'm confused
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does it really have any impact on you?
I'm not bothered what others use the site for, just as long as they don't expect those things from me.
Be clear and honest about what you're after and it shouldn't be an issue... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure we follow. We live lifestyle BDSM. It's been incorporated in to meets twice in 5 years. We've never seen a profile where it is requested exclusively. Sex and BDSM aren't mutually exclusive: quite the opposite to most people who like both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought."
What are you looking for OP, and how do you personally define swinging? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Erm, aren't you single? Are you looking for meets (aka hook-ups)? When you 'swing' is it just missionary position?
I've just asked someone to tie me up with rope as I've never done that before. Does that make me swinging outcast? Doubly so as I'm single! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, to clarify....
Not saying anyone shouldn't be here.... I've never been interested in hook ups or casual sex, just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm not looking for a lifestyle I've been in for 12 years.... if you're into bdsm in a swinger context the crack on, God bless ya.... I'm talking about people just after sex partners. NOT SWINGING. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought."
What's your define of swinging? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you're only looking for single females, is that swinging?  "
I'm not.... read my profile. I want a single woman to go swinging with, together as a couple
.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not looking to swing, not that kind of person.
I just want to have sex but none of the other sites are free. You have to pay out your arse just to message people and I'm not doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought.
What's your define of swinging? "
Great question.
Swinging is sharing eachothers partners..... singles who attend clubs, parties and home meets who play with couples, and groups.
If you do that, I'll let you stay when I run fabs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought.
What's your define of swinging?
Great question.
Swinging is sharing eachothers partners..... singles who attend clubs, parties and home meets who play with couples, and groups.
If you do that, I'll let you stay when I run fabs "
Again, I'm still confused as you don't have a partner. Should you be here?!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought.
What's your define of swinging?
Great question.
Swinging is sharing eachothers partners..... singles who attend clubs, parties and home meets who play with couples, and groups.
If you do that, I'll let you stay when I run fabs
Again, I'm still confused as you don't have a partner. Should you be here?! "
I expect you're confused easily READ MY PROFILE!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, aren't you single? Are you looking for meets (aka hook-ups)? When you 'swing' is it just missionary position?
I've just asked someone to tie me up with rope as I've never done that before. Does that make me swinging outcast? Doubly so as I'm single!"
So long as it is attached to a rope swing you're golden.
Ta!
- The Swinging Police  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you look at the list of interests you can tick on here, there is a lot that isn't about swinging.
SM. Voyeurism. as 2 examples. "
Because fabs encourage all participants..... wonder why? $$$$$$$$$$$$$ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought.
What's your define of swinging?
Great question.
Swinging is sharing eachothers partners..... singles who attend clubs, parties and home meets who play with couples, and groups.
If you do that, I'll let you stay when I run fabs
Again, I'm still confused as you don't have a partner. Should you be here?!
I expect you're confused easily READ MY PROFILE!!!!"
I did read your profile and I'm still perplexed! Anyhoo, I'm not here to have a row, so I'll wish you well  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that there's lots of single people looking for hook ups, there's lots of bdsm fans and plenty of other alt-kinks - which is fair enough.
It's not swinging tho is it? There's other sites for all that and I feel like they're hijacking what is ostensibly a lifestyle choice.
If this was a golf site, I'd want to meet fellow golfers and not other sports fans.
Just a thought.
What's your define of swinging?
Great question.
Swinging is sharing eachothers partners..... singles who attend clubs, parties and home meets who play with couples, and groups.
If you do that, I'll let you stay when I run fabs
Again, I'm still confused as you don't have a partner. Should you be here?!
I expect you're confused easily READ MY PROFILE!!!!
I did read your profile and I'm still perplexed! Anyhoo, I'm not here to have a row, so I'll wish you well "
Same to you sausage xxx |
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By *halky90Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Maybe people are hooking up to find someone they like to swing with.
So state that in the profile..."
oh I'm sorry I'll be sure to edit my profile so that you think it's satisfactory. There's also people who like to have single guys or women to join them. You sound very closed minded for someone on a site like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally,I'm glad that there is such a wide variety and diversity on here. There is no reason why we should all be the same and all looking for the same things.
Vive la difference,I say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe people are hooking up to find someone they like to swing with.
So state that in the profile... oh I'm sorry I'll be sure to edit my profile so that you think it's satisfactory. There's also people who like to have single guys or women to join them. You sound very closed minded for someone on a site like this."
Nope, just a long time swinger - you should try it..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally,I'm glad that there is such a wide variety and diversity on here. There is no reason why we should all be the same and all looking for the same things.
Vive la difference,I say."
Fair enough xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I apologise...
For not meeting your definitions of what is and is not acceptable on fab
However there is a simple solution for you if this site does not meet your needs...
Or indeed if specific profiles are not what your looking for.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally,I'm glad that there is such a wide variety and diversity on here. There is no reason why we should all be the same and all looking for the same things.
Vive la difference,I say.
Fair enough xxx"
Thank you xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I apologise...
For not meeting your definitions of what is and is not acceptable on fab
However there is a simple solution for you if this site does not meet your needs...
Or indeed if specific profiles are not what your looking for.
"
Same to you, good look on tinder |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia "
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained"
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
|
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By *halky90Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
"
he does apparently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I said on another thread earlier, for as long as I’ve known Fab it’s been essentially a “Fuck site”.
It stopped being a site exclusively or dominantly for Swinging community ‘lifestylers’ some time ago! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained"
Aren't you a charmer? Good luck on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites..."
Give yourself a wink of peace ffs. You're a horny single no matter how you dress it up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Spoken to lots of singles on here who say they'd never swing in a relationship but are happy to use fabswingers to find a fuck....
It's like a vegan going to a barbecue.....
Hypocrisy abounds. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites... are you not currently a horny single? "
No, read the profile....duh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
he does apparently "
If there's anyone on here who doesn't belong,then who let them on in the first place?
|
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I don't put myself in your little swinger's box, I'm here for fun,and pleasure, I like to think outside the box, missionary position is not on my to-do list. If a guy wants me to punch him in the nuts while doing reverse cowgirl,I will happily oblige, that's just the kind of caring woman I am
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
"
It's not even worth the argument. Right fighters only see their own point of view, nobody else's. I can't be arsed with that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Right fighters? Love that Holly, thank you. I wear my arrogance (and correctness) with pride
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
It's not even worth the argument. Right fighters only see their own point of view, nobody else's. I can't be arsed with that "
|
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By *halky90Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
It's not even worth the argument. Right fighters only see their own point of view, nobody else's. I can't be arsed with that "
I agree! Can't be arsed with the arrogance |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites... are you not currently a horny single?
No, read the profile....duh"
Quite narrow minded and intolerant for a 'lifestyler'
Maybe the lifestyle has changed and i missed the memo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites... are you not currently a horny single?
No, read the profile....duh
No, just sick of hijackers
Quite narrow minded and intolerant for a 'lifestyler'
Maybe the lifestyle has changed and i missed the memo "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
It's not even worth the argument. Right fighters only see their own point of view, nobody else's. I can't be arsed with that I agree! Can't be arsed with the arrogance "
Or, have no arguement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you try to control what a partner does as well as everybody else on the site?
No, you're ok. I'll allow you
Allow me what?
To stay x"
How magnaminous of you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you look at the list of interests you can tick on here, there is a lot that isn't about swinging.
SM. Voyeurism. as 2 examples.
Because fabs encourage all participants..... wonder why? $$$$$$$$$$$$$"
Perhaps they should change the name of the website. |
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By *halky90Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Swinging is a lot broader than it was years ago. The definition is no longer restricted to people who swap partners or indulge in group sex/orgies. It must be right. It's on Wikipedia
Ha, Wikipedia....bravo.
Must have missed a meeting or a memo tho... swinging hasn't changed it's meaning since I've been swinging...people trying to justify using a site they shouldn't be on however, has remained
A site they shouldn't be on???
Who makes the rules?
It's not even worth the argument. Right fighters only see their own point of view, nobody else's. I can't be arsed with that I agree! Can't be arsed with the arrogance
Or, have no arguement"
argument? You clearly are a person who thinks he is always right. Crack on. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"If you look at the list of interests you can tick on here, there is a lot that isn't about swinging.
SM. Voyeurism. as 2 examples.
Because fabs encourage all participants..... wonder why? $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Perhaps they should change the name of the website. "
Fabfuckers. Since all us horny singles are turning it into a non swinging sex site |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
You're confused OP? So am I!! Not by what "you" are looking for, it's clear what that is - a partner to go to clubs/parties with to meet others for fun.
What confuses me is a few things:
- You state in your OP that BDSM/alt kink people have hijacked the site and they're not swingers - yet you tick those interests, so are you not part of that hijack also then?
- Why does it matter to you what others do? If their preferences don't match yours, just move on to people whose do!!
- You've suggested that Fab allows other interests here for financial reasons - as you can sign up to the site for free and there is very little click through revenue to be gained via adverts etc - how do you work that one out?
Live and let live I say - everyone has their own little kinks and no-one should be able to define what is and isn't allowed by way of them so long as it doesn't harmfully impact others.
There are innumerable definitions of swinging from the purists view that it's exclusively a couples thing right through to NSA hook ups, the only correct definition is the one that each of us as individuals hold for ourselves  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The site caters for people who want to "meet now" and like gang bangs. That's hook up sex, even for couples. How is that confusing for you? I was reluctant to join as a single person but was reassured I would find what I was looking for, so I signed up. I'm not a swinger, nor am I looking for hook up sex, but I found what I am looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you look at the list of interests you can tick on here, there is a lot that isn't about swinging.
SM. Voyeurism. as 2 examples.
Because fabs encourage all participants..... wonder why? $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Perhaps they should change the name of the website.
Fabfuckers. Since all us horny singles are turning it into a non swinging sex site "
Swingers have sex too. If they didn't they would be drinking buddies or an afternoon tea club. You have to have sex to swing. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"If you look at the list of interests you can tick on here, there is a lot that isn't about swinging.
SM. Voyeurism. as 2 examples.
Because fabs encourage all participants..... wonder why? $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Perhaps they should change the name of the website.
Fabfuckers. Since all us horny singles are turning it into a non swinging sex site
Swingers have sex too. If they didn't they would be drinking buddies or an afternoon tea club. You have to have sex to swing. "
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a highly populated site OP, concentrate on those who meet your preferences and left others enjoy it how they choose to. One of the lovely things I’ve found about this lifestyle is that you don’t have to be defined, once you get your head round that concept, it’s a lovely free world. |
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By *halky90Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You're confused OP? So am I!! Not by what "you" are looking for, it's clear what that is - a partner to go to clubs/parties with to meet others for fun.
What confuses me is a few things:
- You state in your OP that BDSM/alt kink people have hijacked the site and they're not swingers - yet you tick those interests, so are you not part of that hijack also then?
- Why does it matter to you what others do? If their preferences don't match yours, just move on to people whose do!!
- You've suggested that Fab allows other interests here for financial reasons - as you can sign up to the site for free and there is very little click through revenue to be gained via adverts etc - how do you work that one out?
Live and let live I say - everyone has their own little kinks and no-one should be able to define what is and isn't allowed by way of them so long as it doesn't harmfully impact others.
There are innumerable definitions of swinging from the purists view that it's exclusively a couples thing right through to NSA hook ups, the only correct definition is the one that each of us as individuals hold for ourselves "
well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites... are you not currently a horny single?
No, read the profile....duh"
We have. It doesn't mention you having no libido, but does explicitly state you are single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Personally,I'm glad that there is such a wide variety and diversity on here. There is no reason why we should all be the same and all looking for the same things.
Vive la difference,I say."
|
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By *yphodMan
over a year ago
London |
I like to think about how I made my way here.
Have been on dating sites and hook-up sites.
In dating sites a lot of people are looking for a serious relationship (But Don't mind kissing a few frogs).
Hook-up sites generally are just a rip off dull of fake profiles).
I then stubbled across the swinging scene found that the sites are
a) Generally free
b) Are honest and better run
c) Generally no fake profiles
d) Member are honest in what they want.
Then I visited a few clubs and enjoyed the scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you're only looking for single females, is that swinging?
I'm not.... read my profile. I want a single woman to go swinging with, together as a couple
.
"
. Everyone has their own definition of swinging. What it means to you is obviously different to others. Swinging has moved on since the 70’s. There are no set rules. It’s people having fun,enjoying socialising and getting naked. Does it matter what others are doing or think? Just do your own thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gosh. Reading through the thread you seem very angry OP!
Is part of the issue that you’ve transitioned from being part of a Swinging couple (who traditionally have no problems meeting other sexual companions) to a Swinging single and now have to ‘compete’ with all the other single males out there?
It would appear that you see yourself as an ‘elite’ single on a pedestal above the others who have no right to be on a site which, let’s be honest, ceased being a purely ‘lifestyler’ Swinging site many years ago!
If you ARE an elite single male then I’m not sure exactly what your issue is because surely as the cream of the crop you will naturally rise to the top? The “genuine” Swinging couples or ladies will surely seek you out (as a lifestyler) over the other chancers and players?
And if you’re meeting the “genuine” Swingers what does it matter what the non genuine folk are up to? Let them do their own thing as neither you nor the partners you seek will be interested in them anyway?
Isn’t there a place for both on here? Or is your worry that the Lifestyler couples or ladies are also seeking out those just looking for one off hook-ups and it’s cramping your style?
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"Just wish horny singles wouldn't piggyback our thing....there's plenty of hook up sites..."
Ah there's the issue - too many buff horny singles snaffling all the hot spare swinging ladies leaving the OP a right 'billy no mate'!! |
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