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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So im 25 i have low.... wait ... no self-esteem im honestly not here for sympathy or fishing for complements
I just finally want to find out am i atractive or not ... thou seconday school i wasnt well in with the ladys but maybe thats coz i was dealing with depression ,ptsd and anxiety ild really like to finally know my place on the board
If any one really wants to look at my pics or request more to dicide please message me  thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wishing you the best of luck.
We all suffer from low self esteem. The thing is the get straight back up again after the knock backs.
Its definitely them and not you.
Keep plugging away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Valuing your self worth by the judgement of others is not the best way to go.
"
I no but its feels like if all ur life you thought 2+2 was 5 and no one said any diffrent u have an answer u belive but till you find out its 2+2 = 4 ull never be right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wishing you the best of luck.
We all suffer from low self esteem. The thing is the get straight back up again after the knock backs.
Its definitely them and not you.
Keep plugging away."
Thank you this means alot to hear |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are good looking and attraction is more than just looks anyway, it's about connection and chemistry. "
Thank you for that but i belive im a nice funny caring guy and nothing will change that i just wanted to know if i was actaully coincided attractive to other people ... not for the reasons people might think mostly to gain confordence wen walking into a room of people and having anxiety and not having another thing to worry about wen it comes to my looks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From your pics you certainly dont look unattractive... but attractiveness is much more than skin deep... its about confidence and believing in yourself and its about not being a dickhead to others... tick those boxes and you will always find people who will think you're attractive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are good looking and attraction is more than just looks anyway, it's about connection and chemistry.
Thank you for that but i belive im a nice funny caring guy and nothing will change that i just wanted to know if i was actaully coincided attractive to other people ... not for the reasons people might think mostly to gain confordence wen walking into a room of people and having anxiety and not having another thing to worry about wen it comes to my looks"
My friend, looks are not an issue. Its how you hold yourself...a smile goes a long way. People are attracted to happy people.
A cheeky story or a funny anecdote can make all the difference.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From your pics you certainly dont look unattractive... but attractiveness is much more than skin deep... its about confidence and believing in yourself and its about not being a dickhead to others... tick those boxes and you will always find people who will think you're attractive "
Thank you its just hard to meet new people wen u dont really know if ur an attractive male or a unattractive male or even just plain middle ground the boxes u mention i belive i tick all of them im working on my confordence but if im unattractive .. other than surgery theres not much i can do about that just hoping im not seen as ugly and i have a chance and showing my personalitly .. no mater what any one says 90% people still judge by apperance so just wana know if i got what it takes to get my foot in the door so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are good looking and attraction is more than just looks anyway, it's about connection and chemistry.
Thank you for that but i belive im a nice funny caring guy and nothing will change that i just wanted to know if i was actaully coincided attractive to other people ... not for the reasons people might think mostly to gain confordence wen walking into a room of people and having anxiety and not having another thing to worry about wen it comes to my looks
My friend, looks are not an issue. Its how you hold yourself...a smile goes a long way. People are attracted to happy people.
A cheeky story or a funny anecdote can make all the difference.
"
Like i just said thou 90% people wront give you time of day if ur not attractive so to show my personality seems impossible if they dont even let me chat to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Somebody said earlier in the thread, that everybody is attractive to somebody. That is so true.
I find it very attractive that you have a creative side and love drawing. For me, it's not just looks...a passion for something (not just sex, LOL) and confidence go a long way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What attracts us to others isn’t an easy thing to understand. Some girls think I am as ugly as they come whereas other girls say I’m gorgeous, I just can’t figure it out and it’s really not worth worrying about matey. Just be yourself and you will find somebody that both fancies you and loves you for who you are, don’t ever try to fit to somebody else’s ideal because it won’t work. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Somebody said earlier in the thread, that everybody is attractive to somebody. That is so true.
I find it very attractive that you have a creative side and love drawing. For me, it's not just looks...a passion for something (not just sex, LOL) and confidence go a long way..."
It is very true but how do u show some one that side of you if people just * swipe left * lol sorry im not on tinder but same premise and i love to draw and iv illustrated a fue books but i allso love to just go for a walk with my camera and snap some pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Self esteem starts from within. The kind you get from other people is as easily taken away as it is given. So focus on your positives. Learn to love your reflection and yourself. You can’t be anyone else but you.
This is coming from a fat deaf lady who absolutely loves herself because it took her years to get here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What attracts us to others isn’t an easy thing to understand. Some girls think I am as ugly as they come whereas other girls say I’m gorgeous, I just can’t figure it out and it’s really not worth worrying about matey. Just be yourself and you will find somebody that both fancies you and loves you for who you are, don’t ever try to fit to somebody else’s ideal because it won’t work. Good luck "
I will try bit some times like the title ahead says .. it intrigues me to find out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Self esteem starts from within. The kind you get from other people is as easily taken away as it is given. So focus on your positives. Learn to love your reflection and yourself. You can’t be anyone else but you.
This is coming from a fat deaf lady who absolutely loves herself because it took her years to get here. "
Well first off i cant really see you but you do look very pretty
And as for love my reflection i cant even loom at my self in a mirror even wen brushing teeth i have my back to the mirror i have been trying to look at my self but just some thing stops me
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"From your pics you certainly dont look unattractive... but attractiveness is much more than skin deep... its about confidence and believing in yourself and its about not being a dickhead to others... tick those boxes and you will always find people who will think you're attractive
Thank you its just hard to meet new people wen u dont really know if ur an attractive male or a unattractive male or even just plain middle ground the boxes u mention i belive i tick all of them im working on my confordence but if im unattractive .. other than surgery theres not much i can do about that just hoping im not seen as ugly and i have a chance and showing my personalitly .. no mater what any one says 90% people still judge by apperance so just wana know if i got what it takes to get my foot in the door so to speak"
You’re entirely missing the point.
You cannot make yourself attractive to someone, you either are or you’re not.
Your outward appearance will attract someone or it won’t.
It’s a simple as that.
If your self esteem is that bad, get off here, it will destroy you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See those kind words ^ Turn them inwards. Direct those sentiments towards yourself. The more you think positive and reinforce these thoughts the easier it becomes to believe it will all you have.
Your reflection isn’t going anywhere. There is no danger in staring it out and making peace. Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all perfectly perfect? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From your pics you certainly dont look unattractive... but attractiveness is much more than skin deep... its about confidence and believing in yourself and its about not being a dickhead to others... tick those boxes and you will always find people who will think you're attractive
Thank you its just hard to meet new people wen u dont really know if ur an attractive male or a unattractive male or even just plain middle ground the boxes u mention i belive i tick all of them im working on my confordence but if im unattractive .. other than surgery theres not much i can do about that just hoping im not seen as ugly and i have a chance and showing my personalitly .. no mater what any one says 90% people still judge by apperance so just wana know if i got what it takes to get my foot in the door so to speak
You’re entirely missing the point.
You cannot make yourself attractive to someone, you either are or you’re not.
Your outward appearance will attract someone or it won’t.
It’s a simple as that.
If your self esteem is that bad, get off here, it will destroy you. "
Okay sorry i dont tgink i will ever get the point but every one on this post has been extreamly nice so im sure it aint to bad on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"See those kind words ^ Turn them inwards. Direct those sentiments towards yourself. The more you think positive and reinforce these thoughts the easier it becomes to believe it will all you have.
Your reflection isn’t going anywhere. There is no danger in staring it out and making peace. Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all perfectly perfect? "
You make a good point but dono if i can i will try i promise message me if you want allways happy to chat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP to answer your question, I think you look an attractive young man, that's the easy but. Your confidence will build in time and I wish you good luck. "
Thank you i hope so too thanks for the kind words ur husband / wife is lucky to have you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is really not the place to work on your self eeteem. This place could destroy it. Maybe get out into the big bad world the traditional way and and come back to fab a bit stronger."
Oh ur the second to say this :/ it dont seem so bad on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is really not the place to work on your self eeteem. This place could destroy it. Maybe get out into the big bad world the traditional way and and come back to fab a bit stronger."
|
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"OP to answer your question, I think you look an attractive young man, that's the easy but. Your confidence will build in time and I wish you good luck.
Thank you i hope so too thanks for the kind words ur husband / wife is lucky to have you
"
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP to answer your question, I think you look an attractive young man, that's the easy but. Your confidence will build in time and I wish you good luck.
Thank you i hope so too thanks for the kind words ur husband / wife is lucky to have you
Thank you "
Any time |
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"This is really not the place to work on your self eeteem. This place could destroy it. Maybe get out into the big bad world the traditional way and and come back to fab a bit stronger.
Oh ur the second to say this :/ it dont seem so bad on here"
I'm going to be another to say it
You are ok looking some will like some will not
However you repeatedly say you have no self esteem fab does not give self esteem
To survive fab you MUST have the ability for 5000 people to swipe you away tell you you are not their type and still KNOW you're fantastic
Until YOU know you're fantastic fab will not help you
The forum lovelies will treat you kindly however not one will sleep with you
If you want to improve your self confidence , leave fab now unless you only stay and participate in the forum banter , never ever ever ask for advice here or lay your fragile cards on the table
Read threads regarding being you beyond others opinion be cheeky but don't ask for profile advice and certainly don't send any messages or expect anyone to message
Don't go to clubs , stick to pubs and try to have a mixed sex group of friends , join clubs or participate in pass times you enjoy , attain skills you can , draw , sing, play an instrument , climb , run , dance , mtb , cook, give yourself something to be confident about .
However to guide you into a positive mindset is way beyond this forum and WILL take time you will need to find the time to resolve your fragility
There is a psychological concept of reinforcement, thus every time you openly say you're fragile the more engrained it will become and you will become that person
Thus posting on a forum or telling friends or a girl your predicament will not help
Go for a small run
Go again either go longer or faster, buy a pint and tell yourself how proud you are that you CAN change improve evolve grow
That can be your first step
Change that to anything you want even if that's baking a cake , or making a home brew
Ignore any thoughts if you make mistakes beyond , that was a good mistake I can't improve without fuck ups xxx
Again though
LEAVE FAB
IF you allow YOUR self esteem to depend upon the opinion of others you will lose it will be sucked away from you
Your self esteem depends upon you , not your looks put that nonsense well behind you and while you waste time obsessing with nonsense you will make attaining true strength and confidence more and more unobtainable
Did I mention
LEAVE FAB
You give the attitude that
If I'm told I'm hot that will give me confidence
If I'm told I'm not then I will just give everything in
The fact of that is the majority of life will give you the impression you are not ! That you are an insignificant number . However YOU can change that perspective but not on fab other than the forums
So chin up , learn some skills , know you're average and that average can have a fantastic life
And LEAVE FAB !
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is really not the place to work on your self eeteem. This place could destroy it. Maybe get out into the big bad world the traditional way and and come back to fab a bit stronger.
Oh ur the second to say this :/ it dont seem so bad on here
I'm going to be another to say it
You are ok looking some will like some will not
However you repeatedly say you have no self esteem fab does not give self esteem
To survive fab you MUST have the ability for 5000 people to swipe you away tell you you are not their type and still KNOW you're fantastic
Until YOU know you're fantastic fab will not help you
The forum lovelies will treat you kindly however not one will sleep with you
If you want to improve your self confidence , leave fab now unless you only stay and participate in the forum banter , never ever ever ask for advice here or lay your fragile cards on the table
Read threads regarding being you beyond others opinion be cheeky but don't ask for profile advice and certainly don't send any messages or expect anyone to message
Don't go to clubs , stick to pubs and try to have a mixed sex group of friends , join clubs or participate in pass times you enjoy , attain skills you can , draw , sing, play an instrument , climb , run , dance , mtb , cook, give yourself something to be confident about .
However to guide you into a positive mindset is way beyond this forum and WILL take time you will need to find the time to resolve your fragility
There is a psychological concept of reinforcement, thus every time you openly say you're fragile the more engrained it will become and you will become that person
Thus posting on a forum or telling friends or a girl your predicament will not help
Go for a small run
Go again either go longer or faster, buy a pint and tell yourself how proud you are that you CAN change improve evolve grow
That can be your first step
Change that to anything you want even if that's baking a cake , or making a home brew
Ignore any thoughts if you make mistakes beyond , that was a good mistake I can't improve without fuck ups xxx
Again though
LEAVE FAB
IF you allow YOUR self esteem to depend upon the opinion of others you will lose it will be sucked away from you
Your self esteem depends upon you , not your looks put that nonsense well behind you and while you waste time obsessing with nonsense you will make attaining true strength and confidence more and more unobtainable
Did I mention
LEAVE FAB
You give the attitude that
If I'm told I'm hot that will give me confidence
If I'm told I'm not then I will just give everything in
The fact of that is the majority of life will give you the impression you are not ! That you are an insignificant number . However YOU can change that perspective but not on fab other than the forums
So chin up , learn some skills , know you're average and that average can have a fantastic life
And LEAVE FAB !
"
Thank you bro this makes sense i will do just that and i will become better tthan i am thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is really not the place to work on your self eeteem. This place could destroy it. Maybe get out into the big bad world the traditional way and and come back to fab a bit stronger."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Alot of great comments from women. Women are different to men, we judge more on looks, they see further. (Our loss)
I think what you have been through will open you up as a person. Be proud that you got through those dark times. A decent human will see this in you, not just in terms of dating.
I like to think for all the bad stuff, you'll eventually get the equivalent good stuff.... fingers crossed for you mate. |
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I think you have great potential to be attractive to many people op. If your self-esteem is low, I think it would also be useful for you to monitor how fab may affect it. It would be awful for you to suffer negatively be being here imo, so if you do find it limits you, consider taking breaks. That said, it may also help improve it - only you'll know.
You seem an interesting person (though this is subjective, of course), so this also helps as most of us are not interested in people that have personalities that we don't find attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Alot of great comments from women. Women are different to men, we judge more on looks, they see further. (Our loss)
I think what you have been through will open you up as a person. Be proud that you got through those dark times. A decent human will see this in you, not just in terms of dating.
I like to think for all the bad stuff, you'll eventually get the equivalent good stuff.... fingers crossed for you mate."
Wow thank you mate this is very possitive |
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