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Your very own personal assistant

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ok ladies and gents,it’s time you put your feet up and relaxed,maybe you need your washing,ironing done,cleaning,that car needs washing or just that mmmmm personal touch.

Who would you pick to be your assistant on this thread???

Remember it’s fun so respect and politeness

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, so far it’s only you.

Bring me a cuppa please my friend!

Oh and a bacon sarnie too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have about 4 loads of washing to be done, bathroom needs a clean and I need a shower so which would you like to help me with

Ms B

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm open to have chores done haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm open to have chores done haha "

Need me to polish your guns?

Strumps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh I can think of a few things I’d like done x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

would have to be inked Geordie as he's local

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm open to have chores done haha

Need me to polish your guns?

Strumps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My flue could do with a sweep.......... anyone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm open to have chores done haha

Need me to polish your guns?

Strumps

Well yes .. get your duster out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"would have to be inked Geordie as he's local

Would depend what haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm open to have chores done haha

Need me to polish your guns?

Strumps

Rawr

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"would have to be inked Geordie as he's local

Would depend what haha "

oh I've a few bits need doing lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm open to have chores done haha

Need me to polish your guns?

Strumps

Rawr

"
meowing

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By *eplicant JoWoman over a year ago

Sussex countryside

My toe nails need new polish

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok ladies and gents,it’s time you put your feet up and relaxed,maybe you need your washing,ironing done,cleaning,that car needs washing or just that mmmmm personal touch.

Who would you pick to be your assistant on this thread???

Remember it’s fun so respect and politeness

You

And you can do whatever you like

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I think I may need some help cleaning my new house. Any offers lol?

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By *lappyMan over a year ago

Manchester

I don't mind a few chores :O)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ok ladies and gents,it’s time you put your feet up and relaxed,maybe you need your washing,ironing done,cleaning,that car needs washing or just that mmmmm personal touch.

Who would you pick to be your assistant on this thread???

Remember it’s fun so respect and politeness

You

And you can do whatever you like

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The strongest, most energetic person. Even then I think they would struggle.

I have 13 windows that need washing inside and out; both gardens need a lot of work; my son needs constantly feeding and my dogs like to run around the house with muddy paws, chewing everything in sight. You would have to like children and walking to and from schools. And buses, you must love cramped, smelly buses.

Don't worry about me; I'll be laying in bed watching Netflix.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll pick you Op.

Please can you walk my pooch, empty the dishwasher, finish the ironing, run me a bath, fix my bloody hot tub as it keeps breaking, make me lunch and dinner, massage my whole body and give me an oral orgasm.

Yep, that's it for now. Crack on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm feeling lazy today.... if someone could come round and tidy my house then ravish me that would be ace.... failing that bringing me a cup of tea & a custard cream would also suffice!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Erm.......I need inked Geordie to come help me with my dirty dance routine. He looks strong enough for the lift.

No one puts Rubi in a corner!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll pick you Op.

Yep, that's it for now. Crack on

I think he should do the massaging and orgasm first, before he wears himself out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'll pick you Op.

Yep, that's it for now. Crack on

"
your wish is my command madam

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmmmmmm. So the important thing is, who makes the best cup of tea?

And who would I like to see naked in my kitchen? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll pick you Op.

Yep, that's it for now. Crack on

I think he should do the massaging and orgasm first, before he wears himself out. "

Good thinking

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

Inked Geordie.

He looks like he could lift and move things easily

Heavy boxes and stuff xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmmmm. So the important thing is, who makes the best cup of tea?

And who would I like to see naked in my kitchen? Lol"

I make lovely tea. You wouldn't want me naked in your kitchen though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who needs their lawn mowing? My price is frequent orange juice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also decent at ironing

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. That's true. I'm thinking a tiny little skirt might be just the thing.

For making tea in. Obvs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I'll sort that for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

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By *esjMan over a year ago

salford

I’m good with house work

So can be of a lot of help

Anyone ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't believe no one needs their lawn mowing.

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I'll sort that for you "

What a superstar

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

Is that an offer? No breadcrumbs in the bedroom though

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Can't believe no one needs their lawn mowing. "

I do. Can you grow some large boobies and bottom first though please?

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

"Can't believe no one needs their lawn mowing. "

It's February!!

That's like asking does anyone need help shoveling their walk in July

But I'm interested in your ironing services

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I'll sort that for you

What a superstar

I'm really bad with electrics though does that matter?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love dressing up like a maid and doing house duties while being felt up and bent over and bumfucked every so often. The heels help position my hole at just the right height to be taken standing bent over a countertop.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ill gladly do the ironing, polishing, hoovering and washing.... wearing my housekeeping apron of course!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil "

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I'll sort that for you

What a superstar

I'm really bad with electrics though does that matter? "

It’s the thought that counts and the willingness to have a little fiddle anyway

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I could do that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really need someone to sort out the tv in my bedroom. I don’t know why it’s not working and I would be ever so grateful. Did I mention it was in my bedroom?

I'll sort that for you

What a superstar

I'm really bad with electrics though does that matter?

It’s the thought that counts and the willingness to have a little fiddle anyway

Okay but no suing me if I break something

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

Ah - sorry about that I spilled it all over someone

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

Ah - sorry about that I spilled it all over someone

I've yet to get those oil stains out of my lingerie!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

Ah - sorry about that I spilled it all over someone

I've yet to get those oil stains out of my lingerie! "

I kept telling you to take it ALL off!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why I we so sure those stains are from the oil?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could do with a cuddle, can I have Polarbear?

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

Ah - sorry about that I spilled it all over someone

I've yet to get those oil stains out of my lingerie!

I kept telling you to take it ALL off!!

Fuck sake! I was trying to be tempting and demure

Real ladylike, ya know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been snowboarding this morning and now I have sore muscles that I didn’t even know I had! I’d like a massage please!

Say no more I'll get the baby oil

Haha - thanks fella. Just leave it at the door

No I did that last time and you didn't return it

Ah - sorry about that I spilled it all over someone

I've yet to get those oil stains out of my lingerie!

I kept telling you to take it ALL off!!

Fuck sake! I was trying to be tempting and demure

Real ladylike, ya know

Yeah real lady like smashing through another guys baby oil -_-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

It's at worryingly low levels now. And to think the polar bear was gonna make me leave my last drops off so he could pour more over this fluzie without inviting me. Shocking behaviour

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

It's at worryingly low levels now. And to think the polar bear was gonna make me leave my last drops off so he could pour more over this fluzie without inviting me. Shocking behaviour "

Excuse me?? Floozie???

I'm a hussie thank you very much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

It's at worryingly low levels now. And to think the polar bear was gonna make me leave my last drops off so he could pour more over this fluzie without inviting me. Shocking behaviour

Excuse me?? Floozie???

I'm a hussie thank you very much

Haha well I'll change my opinion when I get my oil

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By *09309309Woman over a year ago

Dublin

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

It's at worryingly low levels now. And to think the polar bear was gonna make me leave my last drops off so he could pour more over this fluzie without inviting me. Shocking behaviour

Excuse me?? Floozie???

I'm a hussie thank you very much

Haha well I'll change my opinion when I get my oil "

That oil deal was clearly none of my business. The Sydney University disclaimer in my profile releases me from any responsibilities related to 3rd party baby oil/lube disagreements.

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By *ayMyName123Man over a year ago

Barnsley

"My flue could do with a sweep.......... anyone?

"
is happily sweep the door for you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right you both owe me a bottle of baby oil

You had a big one for the wrestling. Has it all gone

It's at worryingly low levels now. And to think the polar bear was gonna make me leave my last drops off so he could pour more over this fluzie without inviting me. Shocking behaviour

Excuse me?? Floozie???

I'm a hussie thank you very much

Haha well I'll change my opinion when I get my oil

That oil deal was clearly none of my business. The Sydney University disclaimer in my profile releases me from any responsibilities related to 3rd party baby oil/lube disagreements. "

Nah you don't have the Sydney university bs in your profile so I'll take a batch of your finest oil. K thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could do with a cuddle, can I have Polarbear?"

((((PB)))) noncheeky gropes now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can someone just stroke my hair and tell me I’m beautiful despite my germs and my onesie?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only thing that needs doing is me

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