FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > “Then why you even on here”
“Then why you even on here”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cake.
I’m not meeting right now at all hence my profile is so shit.
Although if I was intending to meet, I’d try to make my profile less shit, but I still probably wouldn’t get any success!  ) |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
The socials mainly.... I'd struggle to get nearly as many involved and would have my phone stuck to my hand texting constantly otherwise.
I love clubbing and prefer to meet people that way. If i relied on fab for my sex life.... I would be as well to move into a convent haha |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
I only do ‘one to one’ meets, I don’t do more than one at a time (never say never) or clubs (highly unlikely). I also love a social 
This is what I like about Fab, you can make it work in a way that suits you, and people and their opinion on how you SHOULD use it, can bugger right off |
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Due to limited childfree time, which is set evenings & weekends, I've got stuff planned out weeks, even months in advance.
So meeting anyone new really hadn't been an option for a long while.
Idiotic messages automatically get deleted, but I always reply to polite well written ones.
Several I thanked, but declined explaining why & saying "so not looking to meet anyone new right now......"
Only to get back in variations "why are you on here then"
One even called me pricktease & timewaster.
Yeah, straight to the block list with that one!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the moment, I'm not really sure. I'm not meeting at present, and get a fair bit of stick from locals for it, wish I could just block locals from messaging and stay happily on the forums and meet when I'm off island. I've made some lovely friends on here, so I guess they keep me hanging around.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is totally fine for people to be on here and not meet as long as they say, if they get fun or get off by chatting on here that should be fine, even if they just want the banter , and some may just like the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it’s always pretty new people that come in with the shitty messages.
I’ve been on here about 7/8 years all in all and I’m sure it didn’t used to be as arsey!"
They think it's a fuck site. If you say you're on here for anything other than an 'immediate turn up at their place to fuck them' then you're in the wrong place. Don't worry about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm here to make friends, if that turns into friends with benefits great. If not I have a new friend.
People should be able to use the site to suit their needs without he criticism. |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
Mainly on gor a bit of banter in the chatrooms although seem to be spending more time in the forums lately. If a meet happened I'd just consider it as an extra bit of fun. Think I'd also consider myself bloody lucky lol . |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
The trouble is far too many (and I'm sorry to say it's pretty much exclusively my gender) sign up with preconceived ideas about this being a sex site, full of people looking to meet at the drop of the hat just because they sent a message - they then get frustrated when it's not the case and lash out with ridiculous comments.
I'm here because I enjoy being able to talk openly about sex and sexuality on the forums and in messages with people I have got to know - anything beyond that is a bonus  |
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"Is a message I get a lot as I don’t do ‘one to one’ meets anymore.. I just frequent clubs and LOVE socials.
Different strokes for different folks. (How apt! Lol)
What are YOU here for these days?
"
An interesting question really. I know why I joined the site originally, 5 years ago, and the one-to-one meets were more easily found then, with more people around locally who actually wanted to meet and play. These days I don’t seem to have as much choice, either because I’m over that 45 years old age limit, or because there just aren’t the same amount of fun seekers around. I do enjoy the banter in the forums, but this can be a rollercoaster ride too, and currently I appear to be out of favour. Still, it’s nice to receive Fabs on my pics from the gay boys |
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There is a band of pretty stupid people who assume everyone is here for exactly the same thing - usually this involves meeting immediately with little or no validation of suitability and often what they really look like.
'Tell me your address', a complete stranger!
I'm here to meet others without pressure, sustain friendships, the forum and more. |
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If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak "
Snap, we spend more time on the forums now than actually pursuing a meet. The site seems to be going through some stuff at the moment as the marketplace isn't what it was even a couple of years ago. |
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"If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak
Snap, we spend more time on the forums now than actually pursuing a meet. The site seems to be going through some stuff at the moment as the marketplace isn't what it was even a couple of years ago. "
You’ve hit the nail on the head ! When I first joined I can honestly say everyone was genuinely out for fun , not to dupe , catfish or anything.
Playing wise from on here my last was September !
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it's about meeting people we click with and having fun. Sometimes just socially, sometimes sexually. It's about experiencing things together.
Unfortunately our time is limited and people can be unreliable to say the least so we tend to stick to clubs now.
Strumps  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak
Snap, we spend more time on the forums now than actually pursuing a meet. The site seems to be going through some stuff at the moment as the marketplace isn't what it was even a couple of years ago.
You’ve hit the nail on the head ! When I first joined I can honestly say everyone was genuinely out for fun , not to dupe , catfish or anything.
Playing wise from on here my last was September !
"
The site has changed so much in the last 5-10 years, I agree!
We'll see you in 2 weeks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only just ventured on to the forums but really enjoying the interaction. I don't do solo meets or casual hookups as my thing is clubs and private parties... All about the group action aye! Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak "
Tried stand up haha? Seriously though there is some stupid people about on here, don't see or understand what they get out if it, if only I lived closer haha  |
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"If I’m honest I lost my mojo for swinging a few months back after a series of getting all excited about a meet to find out they were fake profiles and a few other minor dramas where I feel let down ... really really hoping to find some genuine fun because I have considered coming away altogether after 5 years and that would be a shame
So I guess atm I’m hanging on here by a thread so to speak
Snap, we spend more time on the forums now than actually pursuing a meet. The site seems to be going through some stuff at the moment as the marketplace isn't what it was even a couple of years ago.
You’ve hit the nail on the head ! When I first joined I can honestly say everyone was genuinely out for fun , not to dupe , catfish or anything.
Playing wise from on here my last was September !
The site has changed so much in the last 5-10 years, I agree!
We'll see you in 2 weeks "
Haha yes indeed see you then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We joined looking for meets we had a couple in the early days however most of our fun happens at clubs now however I (Kat) love the forums so hang around mainly for them xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the forums here. I've met people from FabGuys, Gaydar, Grindr and offline too, but not FabSwingers. FabGuys has unpublicised forums and they're very quiet so here I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More than sex. Less than dating.
To have fun and see what happens. Definitely about the social aspect and see what can develop from there (friendship / FWB / relationship)... You just don't know!
I've recently become single so love the distraction this place brings from that |
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"I find it’s always pretty new people that come in with the shitty messages.
I’ve been on here about 7/8 years all in all and I’m sure it didn’t used to be as arsey!"
Nice to see you back again. I was thinking about this the other day and maybe you could answer my question please. How has Fab changed from say five years ago. I’ve noticed a difference myself in the last two years?? |
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So to summarise the above.
Most reinforce the view that quick sex and immediate hook ups are a thing of the past. Forumites seem to prefer slow burning social interaction. If that leads to meets for lasting friendship then all the better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So to summarise the above.
Most reinforce the view that quick sex and immediate hook ups are a thing of the past. Forumites seem to prefer slow burning social interaction. If that leads to meets for lasting friendship then all the better. "
They might reinforce the idea but it has no basis in reality. Those quick/immediate hookups are happening no less now than they did before. Merely they have now become locked behind more stringent Darwinism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So to summarise the above.
Most reinforce the view that quick sex and immediate hook ups are a thing of the past. Forumites seem to prefer slow burning social interaction. If that leads to meets for lasting friendship then all the better. "
You're basing that on the few people who posted on this thread? |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
And for those who say they are just staying in touch with friends and there is alot of them
Don’t realise that you can do that over messages or whatsapo or phone ?
The reality is people are nosey and love jnowing who doing what and who haha |
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I like being able to chat to like minded people and the forums. Sometimes I have some free time and I'm able to meet so it's handy being seen as active on the site even if not actively meeting all the time. |
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I’m here for lots of things - and fortunately all my needs are very well met!
I have good friends on here, enjoy forum banter and the odd ‘proper ‘ discussion - and I have lots of incredibly good sex with some lovely, gorgeous guys! (Haven’t had sex in the ‘real world ‘ since joining fab!
I also get to be a photo tart!
If Fab shut down tomorrow I’d be bloody fed up tbh! Xx
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"Is a message I get a lot as I don’t do ‘one to one’ meets anymore.. I just frequent clubs and LOVE socials.
Different strokes for different folks. (How apt! Lol)
What are YOU here for these days?
"
Well this certainly applies to us.
We have no interest in one to one meets and only meet in clubs or at socials.
Why are we here?
To catch up with a few friends we've made over the years, you know, the ones who don't like to post their swinger life on facebook.
To arrange meets for when we go to clubs in Spain or at Cap d'Agde (not many come to Germany) and to just keep track of what is going on through the forums.
Is that enough or should we delete our profile to make space for people who want one to one meets? |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too"
You mean that guys on here actually READ profiles before sending messages? 
Now I am really shocked. Most that message us don't even know which country we are in. Oh and it is on the first line of our profile. |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too"
Pretty much anyone can use the site how they want, there’s nothing to say you have to meet anyone.
How can you prove someone is 100% genuine?
We don’t like our time wasted so we do things our way, it works great for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too"
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.  |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode. "
I only go to clubs nowadays and took myself off searches. It's bliss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why should I change my Fab activity or profile to suit someone who I’ll never meet?
Tis all just delete button fodder. Enjoy doing it your way and I’ll enjoy doing it mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is a message I get a lot as I don’t do ‘one to one’ meets anymore.. I just frequent clubs and LOVE socials.
Different strokes for different folks. (How apt! Lol)
What are YOU here for these days?
"
The forums, to find out about events and clubs, and to find people we can have fun with
C |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
Nobody has to justify to anyone why they are here. It's the diversity of fab that keeps us entertained... the forum's, the socials, the club's, the one on one meets and the friendships we have made along the way. While we don't have a huge amount of time and money to head off to every event, we really enjoy the one's we do attend. We are not here to jump through hoops for other people's needs or demand's. |
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"Is a message I get a lot as I don’t do ‘one to one’ meets anymore.. I just frequent clubs and LOVE socials.
Different strokes for different folks. (How apt! Lol)
What are YOU here for these days?
"
Because some days its just too damn quiet in the office...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"changes all the time. always forum - just lots of fun.
at the moment I am greedy and look to arrange a mmmf... not as easy as it sounds lol"
Surely a club night could get that particular itch scratched
C |
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"changes all the time. always forum - just lots of fun.
at the moment I am greedy and look to arrange a mmmf... not as easy as it sounds lol
Surely a club night could get that particular itch scratched
C"
don't like going to clubs on my own... and as its my first I want to know in advance who I am going to fuck  |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode. "
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
|
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
"
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc. |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc. "
|
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc.
"
Errmmm life made easy for the couples and wonen who always rant on about getting too many unsolicited messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"changes all the time. always forum - just lots of fun.
at the moment I am greedy and look to arrange a mmmf... not as easy as it sounds lol
Surely a club night could get that particular itch scratched
C"
If the people there were to her taste. |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc.
Errmmm life made easy for the couples and wonen who always rant on about getting too many unsolicited messages "
I think you will find that it comes down to peoples experience on here
The difference between having a new profile and forming an opinion after 7 weeks or being on for years and seeing the good and bad time after time
You are new and will probably see things differently after time |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc.
Errmmm life made easy for the couples and wonen who always rant on about getting too many unsolicited messages
I think you will find that it comes down to peoples experience on here
The difference between having a new profile and forming an opinion after 7 weeks or being on for years and seeing the good and bad time after time
You are new and will probably see things differently after time "
Time shows alot of things
And i wasnt trying yo be rude just stating sonething i had come across alot thats all |
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"It’s funny how alot of people on here have mentioned they aren’t here for the meets but they failed to update their own profiles which state they would meet how does that work out ?
Thats the problem here there are only a few people who would meet but the rest always just compalin about receiving messages even though their profiles state that they will meet hahaha
And for all the ones complaining about fakes and catfishes why don’t you go for someone who is genuine ? Rather than choosing the one with great pics from google
Trust me the ones who look normal can be good guys too
If the ones that aren't meeting took themselves off the searches their ego's would implode.
Exactly
Its easy to change the settings rather than saying it in forums then you wont be bombarded with messages
Life made easy
Life made easy for who?
We would potentially miss out on various party meets etc etc.
Errmmm life made easy for the couples and wonen who always rant on about getting too many unsolicited messages
I think you will find that it comes down to peoples experience on here
The difference between having a new profile and forming an opinion after 7 weeks or being on for years and seeing the good and bad time after time
You are new and will probably see things differently after time
Time shows alot of things
And i wasnt trying yo be rude just stating sonething i had come across alot thats all"
That’s cool but wise to remember that all those thst moan on here about unsolicited messages are normally the very same (like me) that spend a lot of time putting their profile together to advise what they are looking for - if it was actually read there would be no unsolicited messages and therefore no moaning |
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