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The ‘I’m really relatively average at sex compared to all the sexual athletes on here’ club
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!   
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here   "
Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get bored after half an hour, if that usually
I hate being on top, my jaw cramps up after 5 minutes or so sucking cock, and I have terrible upper body strength so even doggy is hard work after a while
So basically I'm a boring lazy fuck. I try to make it interesting, but that doesn't last long |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here "
Well if you read most of the super hero veris, most are past each other going to the loo in the clubs, or chatroom encounters? |
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Well this is me haha
I'm out of shape although I've never been in shape... My jaw aches after a bit and I have "granny knees". I love sex but I don't think of it all the time and sometimes nothing beats a cuddle tbh
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp."
My very nice man gets me a cushion for my knees. |
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"I get bored after half an hour, if that usually
I hate being on top, my jaw cramps up after 5 minutes or so sucking cock, and I have terrible upper body strength so even doggy is hard work after a while
So basically I'm a boring lazy fuck. I try to make it interesting, but that doesn't last long "
This made me smile 
Are you called please rach as partners are asking , please rach just suck it for another 5 mins ? |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here
Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there.. "
I was hoping to make my next time quite special  |
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"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp."
Tiny hands and loves giving Blow jobs,
That sounds perfect to me |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here
Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there..
I was hoping to make my next time quite special "
A road for instant disappointment?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get bored after half an hour, if that usually
I hate being on top, my jaw cramps up after 5 minutes or so sucking cock, and I have terrible upper body strength so even doggy is hard work after a while
So basically I'm a boring lazy fuck. I try to make it interesting, but that doesn't last long
This made me smile
Are you called please rach as partners are asking , please rach just suck it for another 5 mins ? "
Haha I hadn't thought of that! It is pretty appropriate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess 
Oi, this is a thread for mediocrity! Go do your own Sexual Goddess thread!!  "
But give us a few pointers before you go! |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here
Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there..
I was hoping to make my next time quite special
A road for instant disappointment? "
It's a road of constant disappointment, if I just wanted a fuck I could get one whenever I want! |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! "
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! "
This made me chuckle and |
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I'm not the best when I have sex with someone the first time,
Unlike a lot of porn movies, I don't like having my ball played with gaging or hard spanking which leaves red marks,
But one the plus side, Someone once left me a verification saying I give her the best oral she had ever had and doing it from behind used to be my weak point but I have found my rhythm now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol "
Aw Seeside, we need to get you laid! There must be a string of ladies willing to take your cherry! It’s my 2018 resolution my friend!! |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Aw Seeside, we need to get you laid! There must be a string of ladies willing to take your cherry! It’s my 2018 resolution my friend!! "
On wot planet lol |
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"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol "
Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside.
I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust
I feel so bad for you sometimes lol , you can't even join the I'm shite at sex club
I pledge a tenner if it gets up n running |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Aw Seeside, we need to get you laid! There must be a string of ladies willing to take your cherry! It’s my 2018 resolution my friend!! "
Good luck You will have a hiyer chance of winning the lotto than that happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside.
I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust
I feel so bad for you sometimes lol , you can't even join the I'm shite at sex club
I pledge a tenner if it gets up n running"
Fuck that _eeside! You wait until you find someone, love her, cherish her, make sweet love to her over and over again
Then shag a prostitute. You don’t want to spend money on would inevitably be a 3 second shag |
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"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside.
I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust
I feel so bad for you sometimes lol , you can't even join the I'm shite at sex club
I pledge a tenner if it gets up n running
Fuck that _eeside! You wait until you find someone, love her, cherish her, make sweet love to her over and over again
Then shag a prostitute. You don’t want to spend money on would inevitably be a 3 second shag "
No one shot deal lol an Evening at least |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside.
I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust
I feel so bad for you sometimes lol , you can't even join the I'm shite at sex club
I pledge a tenner if it gets up n running
Fuck that _eeside! You wait until you find someone, love her, cherish her, make sweet love to her over and over again
Then shag a prostitute. You don’t want to spend money on would inevitably be a 3 second shag "
“You are paying for my time and companionship. Anything else that happens between consenting adults is purely coincidental” .. round 2 will be better!! |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"
This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey.
So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol
Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside.
I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust
I feel so bad for you sometimes lol , you can't even join the I'm shite at sex club
I pledge a tenner if it gets up n running
Fuck that _eeside! You wait until you find someone, love her, cherish her, make sweet love to her over and over again "
That's my plan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards
"Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards
"Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!!"
I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is like the worst second hand car lot EVER!
Second hand cars are comfy and worn in.
Like an old pair of slippers!"
Who doesn't love a pair of comfy, fluffy slipper?? |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards
"Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!!
I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex"
You told me that was for a completely different reason to being bored!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards
"Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!!
I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex
You told me that was for a completely different reason to being bored! "
I forgot you could read these |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!  "
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out. "
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. "
You have a beautiful body x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told)
Mrs x"
Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. "
Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told)
Mrs x
Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson "
I wouldn't want to dysons are crap. |
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!! "
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp."
Cramps are responsible for our loudest sex sessions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability?"
Because I don't like going into position which squished my belly up together into loads of tolls  |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men."
So do the ones off fab to. So how is a guy then ment to get any experience in the 1st place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
You have a beautiful body x "
But I am sure it's the same with everyone on here... You only pick the best pictures. |
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men."
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
You have a beautiful body x
But I am sure it's the same with everyone on here... You only pick the best pictures. "
But it's still depicting your actual body. X |
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men.
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. "
Could you change the pony tail to pig tails? |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men.
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't "
Your rite i don't want a pitty shag
I want to find a sex happy/mad girl friend to spend evey day of the rest of the years shaging onley her and have a family to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
You have a beautiful body x
But I am sure it's the same with everyone on here... You only pick the best pictures.
But it's still depicting your actual body. X"
Ah thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men.
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't "
Who mentioned pity shag!?
Lots of women are keen to meet friendly, personable and decent men on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability?
Because I don't like going into position which squished my belly up together into loads of tolls "
Then I'd give up. No sex position I know is complimentary to belly rolls! Live with it or do something about it or give up! |
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men.
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't
Who mentioned pity shag!?
Lots of women are keen to meet friendly, personable and decent men on here. "
Yes I know they are, But it was your comment
"Ladies! Help a brother out here!!" that comes across as a pity shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability?
Because I don't like going into position which squished my belly up together into loads of tolls
Then I'd give up. No sex position I know is complimentary to belly rolls! Live with it or do something about it or give up!"
I prefer belly rolls to helping hanging and flopping about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
Not all are shit at it.
For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad)
But No one has been with me yet to find out.
Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!!
Women on the forum's generally want experienced men.
Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't
Who mentioned pity shag!?
Lots of women are keen to meet friendly, personable and decent men on here.
Yes I know they are, But it was your comment
"Ladies! Help a brother out here!!" that comes across as a pity shag"
Fairy snuff, that wasn’t the intention (just meant to be a light hearted quip!) but I can see how it might be interpreted that way so my apologies to the gentleman concerned if it caused unintended offence! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time.
Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability?
Because I don't like going into position which squished my belly up together into loads of tolls
Then I'd give up. No sex position I know is complimentary to belly rolls! Live with it or do something about it or give up!
I prefer belly rolls to helping hanging and flopping about."
Yeah I don't mind mine until I get too fat and they get in the way! |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here
Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there..
I was hoping to make my next time quite special "
That can be arranged but first you’ll need to give some poor bugger a chance to impress |
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! "
Oh dear, you poor fellow. Sorry to hear about your problems! It's a shame you can't go somewhere and get help and the required training you need. I don't know where you could get some?
Looks like your destined to be just like everyone else here. who isn't a fantasist. |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!! "
You can’t judge them all when you haven’t tried them all
I’d take a good try at proving you wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
You can’t judge them all when you haven’t tried them all
I’d take a good try at proving you wrong "
They are claiming it... not me!! You're welcome to try them all out to see. I can't vouch for whether they'd want you to or not though! |
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By *esjMan
over a year ago
salford |
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
You can’t judge them all when you haven’t tried them all
I’d take a good try at proving you wrong
They are claiming it... not me!! You're welcome to try them all out to see. I can't vouch for whether they'd want you to or not though!"
I hoping to get pm from yourself tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told)
Mrs x
Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson
I wouldn't want to dysons are crap. "
A Henry is better oops did I just say that out loud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Woohoo never seen this club before.
Can i join please..... I'll even be the asthmatic kid in goal that never gets picked until last..... or second to last if the fat kid with excessive sweating is allowed out to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!!
We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse "
Stamina of a donkey with a broken leg carrying bricks in india.... thats me |
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!!
We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse
Stamina of a donkey with a broken leg carrying bricks in india.... thats me "
I struggle to get my socks off mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!!
We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse
Stamina of a donkey with a broken leg carrying bricks in india.... thats me
I struggle to get my socks off mate"
Leave them on..... chicks dig it |
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!!
We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse
Stamina of a donkey with a broken leg carrying bricks in india.... thats me
I struggle to get my socks off mate
Leave them on..... chicks dig it "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! "
i never believe anyone who likes to brag about how good they are at anything on here. Cause in reality they’re probably the total opposite. |
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Yes! I’m in on this club.
I’m much better at practical than theory so you won’t hear me talking about it.
I don’t want to go for hours, when I’m done and you’re done there’s no need to repeat, you may just leave.
I like to give blow jobs but I’m not sure I’m that good at it, I still keep practising though!
The blonde |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!! "
It's a tongue-in-cheek thread I think poking fun at the "look how great I am and what amazing porn-star tricks I can do" nature of the site, which can get very tiresome at times. I for one find it amusing and refreshing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by "
Any woman can be a sex Goddess. It's all about confidence, self-belief and authenticity. |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex.
I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book.
I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out!
I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest.
And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE!
Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans?
I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?!
Come join me brothers and sisters!!! "
Where do I pick up my membership badge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess
Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel!
I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!???
Unbelievable!!!!
It's a tongue-in-cheek thread I think poking fun at the "look how great I am and what amazing porn-star tricks I can do" nature of the site, which can get very tiresome at times. I for one find it amusing and refreshing! "
Thanks. I'm glad you explained that... because my post was deadly serious |
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"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by
Any woman can be a sex Goddess. It's all about confidence, self-belief and authenticity. "
Yes I know, I was going for humour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by
Any woman can be a sex Goddess. It's all about confidence, self-belief and authenticity.
Yes I know, I was going for humour "
.
Yes I forget that British people always use humour around sex, like a carry-on film |
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If i find a comfy spot i am out, not allowed to sit on sofas only hard chairs because once my bum wedges a groove in a cushion the only thing getting me up is finally conceeding to the fact i needed a wee 45 minutes ago...and that's not always a given |
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