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Does marriages last more that 30 years?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Like they do with the older generation? I was watching a program about it yesterday, it was good as they interviewed couples and there is a big difference from that era to this one, whats your view? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few friends who are at 20-25 years and they seem happy. I can see them getting to 30 years. Some aren’t married but they’ve been together that long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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depends on wht you mean by older generation, to someone of 21 im the older generation..and of course, things change, they always have, and always will...each generation will be different from the previous one. |
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Like most things nowadays everything seems to have become throw away.
That even seems to migrate into relationships.
No commitment today a bit like long term careers.
33 years and we will be together till one of is no.longer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"depends on wht you mean by older generation, to someone of 21 im the older generation..and of course, things change, they always have, and always will...each generation will be different from the previous one."
 Oh crikey I feel old.
I think people were shamed into staying together 'in the olden days'. I know many 60+ year olds that hate each other but stay together because there's no other option.
Many 30+ year olds in the same situation actually.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents were married 55 years when my mother died last year. I reckon the last 25 were particularly miserable for her, in fact, it was watching my parents grow old together that gave me the determination to leave my own marriage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My older brother and sister were both married for around 45 years, my younger brother has been married 49 years this year and we celebrate our golden wedding later this year and she fully accept Kate and helps buy her clothes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents made it 42 years thusfar and still do the embarrassing parent snogging thing. They’re very lucky.
Me? 15 years was a miracle. The clock is reset. I can’t say I wanna do the whole ‘I do’ thing again. Even the idea of a relationship leaves me pretty cold. Is marrying oneself really a thing? That would be a beautiful marriage.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never been married,the longest relationship I've had was nearly 9 years and she ripped me off for £80k  "
Look at this way, if you'd made 30 years it could have been £250k+..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents celebrate their golden wedding anniversary next year and they are very happy together, and even had a church blessing 2 years ago as they were never able to have the church wedding they wanted back in 1969.
Us, we've been married 15 years and together for nearly 19, we've had people comment that we are a bit of a rarity these days, but I'm not convinced, there are few divorced families that live near us, but as to how happy they are I have no idea...
Ginger |
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We've been married for over 30 years and have lived together for 37. Nothing has changed except it's easier for unhappy people to leave each other and there's nothing wrong with that. The things that keep people together remain the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think in a lot of cases its easier and there is more support for people to leave marriages they are not happy with and there isn't the stigma there used to be. Im not sure if its a case of throwing it away too qucik (certainly wasnt in my case). |
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"My parents were married 55 years when my mother died last year. I reckon the last 25 were particularly miserable for her, in fact, it was watching my parents grow old together that gave me the determination to leave my own marriage."
I can relate to this. My parents were married 44 years when she died in March 2002. Never seen a dead body with a smile before...in fact couldn't recall the last time I'd seen her smile.
I vowed not to waste my life being miserable. Left my husband of 23 years the following April. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met my now wife when we were 15 now 53 we been together 37 years been married 27 and I still fancy her rotten she’s my best friend and soul mate as well as my wife |
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"Met my now wife when we were 15 now 53 we been together 37 years been married 27 and I still fancy her rotten she’s my best friend and soul mate as well as my wife "
Fantastic, same here, most are of our friends are on their 2nd and in one case 3rd time around and I would honestly say that none of them seem happy.
Who knows what it is that they are looking for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my divorce comes through it will of been 22yrs married on paper. Far better single than married for me whereas he has already booked his next wedding  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought i’d be married forever, we had our problems but we worked hard at them, we overcame some serious issues within our marriage 10 years in and we’re proud we came out the other side, we had another 5 great years and then literally after our 15th wedding anniversary it came to an end, we still look back and feel proud that we tried our hardest and not gave up when it could have easily ended.
We have a great friendship relationship and I am glad he is still in my life but sometimes things just don’t work no matter how hard you try.
Mind you saying that, if it hadn’t of ended I wouldn’t have met Ads and we wouldn’t be here now, my relationship with him is different in every aspect, for a start we never have a cross word and if we (me) do get angry (very rarely) I feel horrible and it never hangs around for long, when I was with my ex I could see into the future and picture us old and grey but with Ads I don’t and that might sound incredibly weird and some of you naysayers are probably thinking the worst but I’ve reached a point in my life of not hoping and looking too far into the future because it can all change and overtime hopefully it will change, my marriage ending changed me in so many ways and one of them was the above, instead of being all dreamy and imagining a perfect end I take each day as it comes now. Of course Ads and I are going to stay together forever (I’ve told him I’m not going through another divorce lol) but having that ‘ideal’ end isn’t there because life changes on a daily basis and maybe it’s because I’m scared of getting hurt again and I never want to feel a pain like it again so I’ve put barriers up, who knows.
Ads and I have gone through a few rough patches and we could have walked away at anytime as we don’t have anything connecting us but we are literally like one person, he stayed at his mums one night last year and my heart hurt like no ones business (god knows what I’m going to be like on his stag and the night before the wedding!).
Geeky x |
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"Yes they can but you got to take the rough with the smooth.
 This
People give up too easily these days.
"
I'm not sure I agree with either of these statements.
It depends what you mean by "rough". If external factors making life tough, then yes.
If it's one partner making life tougher for the other, why must you put up with it? Obviously, you make attempts to change the situation, improve things for both parties.
But if that's not possible, why should you put up with it?
I think time limited marriage contracts, that need to be renewed after a certain period would be useful in focusing people's minds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I managed 26 yrs with the same person and 16 of those married and mostly happy. However, sometimes you just drift apart and if you don’t both work hard at it, then it will never last. |
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There is deffinitatly a lot more freedom to get out plus more expectations of what marriage should be. I would say any comtempory couple that lasts the test of time these days is something very special indeed and something mutually unselfish. I have in my life had role models who have had such wonderful eternal love and dedication to each other.
Maybe the question should be should so many marriages from the past have lasted more than 30 years? We're they all healthy or a prison? |
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"There is deffinitatly a lot more freedom to get out plus more expectations of what marriage should be. I would say any comtempory couple that lasts the test of time these days is something very special indeed and something mutually unselfish. I have in my life had role models who have had such wonderful eternal love and dedication to each other.
Maybe the question should be should so many marriages from the past have lasted more than 30 years? We're they all healthy or a prison?"
I think it's down to luck a lot of the time. Very few of us ask each other the important questions before we commit to marriage. How many starry eyed young lovers sit down and seriously discuss how important sex is to them, how involved they want their wider family to be, what strategies they will use to solve problems etc? So it's lucky if it turns out that you are more or less in agreement on the big issues or can at least see your way to compromise.
I believe that the same amount of marriages failed in the past but people just stuck it out.
A friend of mine told me her mother hoped her father would die first so that she could have a couple of years to enjoy herself  . What an awful way to live but I bet lots of marriages were like that. |
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"Some marriages don't last 30 years because one party croaks, like my husband did XXX
That must be devastating."
That happened to my parents my grand parents thou my mum blamed my grandad for that and my brotherinlaw between all of them around 120 years of marriage..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like they do with the older generation? I was watching a program about it yesterday, it was good as they interviewed couples and there is a big difference from that era to this one, whats your view?"
marriages used to yes because couples saw the values of keeping the family unit together so they worked harder at it but people in general are working less and less as a team and more as individuals and religion in the western world has all but died ,equality in the workplace plays a part,the internet also plays a big part to allowing people to interact without actually meeting ,the need to stay together has all but gone a long marriage these days is 10 years and in fact many don't even get the little piece of paper  |
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I've seen quite a few friends get married over the past 10 years, and more than not are already divorced I've been in a couple of long term relationships but I've never felt committed enough to take that step into marriage. I still feel like "the one" is out there somewhere and we haven't met yet. |
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"There is deffinitatly a lot more freedom to get out plus more expectations of what marriage should be. I would say any comtempory couple that lasts the test of time these days is something very special indeed and something mutually unselfish. I have in my life had role models who have had such wonderful eternal love and dedication to each other.
Maybe the question should be should so many marriages from the past have lasted more than 30 years?"
Yes, I believe there was more true commitment, and willingness to openly work through issues together - today's society is too 'disposable' minded.
My parents were together 70 years when Mum died. |
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"Like they do with the older generation? I was watching a program about it yesterday, it was good as they interviewed couples and there is a big difference from that era to this one, whats your view?"
We’ve been married 31 years this September! |
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