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Ghosting
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
"
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls"
That's pretty much my consensus at present! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us."
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why. "
I don't agree with it but there's a train of thought, suggesting such behaviour allows you to move on quicker as you're not left in doubt?
No situation is the same I guess?
Emotional problems? A double life? Tragedy? It's horrid it happened to me and it affected me for a ling time, until I realised the other party was carrying on living whilst I wasn't.
Sometimes we make people into something in our heads they aren't. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Not sure if it is classed as ghosting, but I did meet someone and due to bad behaviour I stopped meeting over a year ago.
He has tried everything to try and get me back, by lying (he almost got me on that one) then turned offensive, then tried lying and agreeing with me, to slight begging then flattery, it hasn't worked and I know I just need to stick to my guns  |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why.
I don't agree with it but there's a train of thought, suggesting such behaviour allows you to move on quicker as you're not left in doubt?
No situation is the same I guess?
Emotional problems? A double life? Tragedy? It's horrid it happened to me and it affected me for a ling time, until I realised the other party was carrying on living whilst I wasn't.
Sometimes we make people into something in our heads they aren't. "
I do in part agree however at what point do you think they are doing this? After a few days? A week? 2 weeks? God forbid they haven't had an accident and ended up in hospital or had a family member die and be in a state of grief.
It leaves others to assumptions and uncertainty.
I think tbf most of us are guilty of making someone to be something different in our heads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why.
I don't agree with it but there's a train of thought, suggesting such behaviour allows you to move on quicker as you're not left in doubt?
No situation is the same I guess?
Emotional problems? A double life? Tragedy? It's horrid it happened to me and it affected me for a ling time, until I realised the other party was carrying on living whilst I wasn't.
Sometimes we make people into something in our heads they aren't. "
Nope. I'm sticking with my original post
Its usually done by people who have no fucking balls |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"Not sure if it is classed as ghosting, but I did meet someone and due to bad behaviour I stopped meeting over a year ago.
He has tried everything to try and get me back, by lying (he almost got me on that one) then turned offensive, then tried lying and agreeing with me, to slight begging then flattery, it hasn't worked and I know I just need to stick to my guns "
Ghosting refers to just completely cutting all communication without explanation.
I believe you are best away from that individual tho! Stay safe x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Not sure if it is classed as ghosting, but I did meet someone and due to bad behaviour I stopped meeting over a year ago.
He has tried everything to try and get me back, by lying (he almost got me on that one) then turned offensive, then tried lying and agreeing with me, to slight begging then flattery, it hasn't worked and I know I just need to stick to my guns
Ghosting refers to just completely cutting all communication without explanation.
I believe you are best away from that individual tho! Stay safe x"
I was getting confused with 'gaslighting' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are fickle, especially on a sex site where there's so much choice. Just accept a no reply as no longer interested and move onto someone you're more compatible with |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"People are fickle, especially on a sex site where there's so much choice. Just accept a no reply as no longer interested and move onto someone you're more compatible with "
If I were referring to here that would help  |
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"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls"
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sticking with my original post
Its usually done by people who have no fucking balls"
Yep. Absolutely this.
I had this done to me a few years back by a non-Fab, real world, vanilla girlfriend I'd been seeing for a little over six months. She went away on a family holiday for a fortnight and dropped me like hot shit, without explanation, the day after she got back. Took me a couple of months of insomnia before I realised it wasn't anything I'd done. She was just a gutless shithouse. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"I'm sticking with my original post
Its usually done by people who have no fucking balls
Yep. Absolutely this.
I had this done to me a few years back by a non-Fab, real world, vanilla girlfriend I'd been seeing for a little over six months. She went away on a family holiday for a fortnight and dropped me like hot shit, without explanation, the day after she got back. Took me a couple of months of insomnia before I realised it wasn't anything I'd done. She was just a gutless shithouse."
That is shit!
It's easy to say to others not to let it get to you. Not so easy when youre faced with it. Glad you got over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, my former FWB of 3+ years was always ghosting me. He'd suggest meets and stuff then just ignore me. In the end I had enough of it and called it a day (he wasn't from Fab) XXX |
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" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why.
I don't agree with it but there's a train of thought, suggesting such behaviour allows you to move on quicker as you're not left in doubt?
"
But you are - are they dead or alive, was there a misunderstanding or had someone interfered? You can't get any closure and whilst it's cowardly enough if you were just talking, I think it is utterly despicable if it was someone you were actually meeting regularly.
Someone at a stables made up a malicious story about me which ruined a friendship I truly valued, the victim was too hurt to talk to me, it was months before I found out what the stirrer had done. Sometimes you need communication to get closure.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah ghosting is shit. I've never done it, I'd always give some kind of explanation as to why contact will stop.
I think I may have been ghosted by last guy I was shagging and subsequently ended up getting feelings for if I didn't outright ask him to meet me again. He did message back and say think it's for the best that we don't meet again which still is shit and makes you wonder why. But suppose it's better than being ignored completely. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why.
I don't agree with it but there's a train of thought, suggesting such behaviour allows you to move on quicker as you're not left in doubt?
But you are - are they dead or alive, was there a misunderstanding or had someone interfered? You can't get any closure and whilst it's cowardly enough if you were just talking, I think it is utterly despicable if it was someone you were actually meeting regularly.
Someone at a stables made up a malicious story about me which ruined a friendship I truly valued, the victim was too hurt to talk to me, it was months before I found out what the stirrer had done. Sometimes you need communication to get closure. "
Yeah you never know and then what happens when you see them? Do you call them out? Do you walk away? So many feelings of hurt and anger mixed with everything else.
Far worse when it's meant to be a friend |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I think this is a horrible thing to do to someone. You're left with so many unanswered questions, you end up wondering if it was something you did or imagining different scenarios whilst not actually knowing drives you mad! I'd much rather someone was honest with me, no matter how brutal, than do this. At least that way you have closure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls
"
That's quite possible but a masdive assumption. You don't kniw what's going on in their head and why are you assuming you weren't the problem? Open minds. |
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"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls"
Yep. This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls
That's quite possible but a masdive assumption. You don't kniw what's going on in their head and why are you assuming you weren't the problem? Open minds."
I’m not assuming I ain’t the problem but if I am then tell me and we go our separate ways. Being kept dangling isn’t nice.
However I do understand that logistics & timings can be a nightmare, I’m an example of that but I don’t go cold on someone, well I like to think I don’t anyway! |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of you have came across it?!?
Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them that often and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans that it is pretty much as close as one as something minus a label is gonna be?
Yup
Its usually done by someone with absolutely no fucking balls
That's quite possible but a masdive assumption. You don't kniw what's going on in their head and why are you assuming you weren't the problem? Open minds.
I’m not assuming I ain’t the problem but if I am then tell me and we go our separate ways. Being kept dangling isn’t nice.
However I do understand that logistics & timings can be a nightmare, I’m an example of that but I don’t go cold on someone, well I like to think I don’t anyway!"
You're quite rIf it, that's the correct way to do it and the easiest way to move on.
It was done to me and left me distraught and quite low for years.
Time passed and I found out the person was suffering severe depression and all sorts of issues.
I couldn't fix anything no matter how much I tried but I realised it wasn't just about me. She had her reasons despite me being terribly hurt.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can be many reasons !sometimes a misunderstanding and people are so proud to sort it out.
I thought , you thought ! Is not all down to be a coward ! But sometimes people are. Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
"
It's called compartmentalising your life. Put them in a box. Take them out when you feel like it and when it suits you. |
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By *anther PurrrsWoman
over a year ago
the Shadows Purrring or Roaring |
"Not sure if it is classed as ghosting, but I did meet someone and due to bad behaviour I stopped meeting over a year ago.
He has tried everything to try and get me back, by lying (he almost got me on that one) then turned offensive, then tried lying and agreeing with me, to slight begging then flattery, it hasn't worked and I know I just need to stick to my guns "
Can totally relate to this.... |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Ghosting as its typically thought of, I see as a cop out by someone who doesn't have the courage and sincerity to plainly say that they've lost interest.
It sows doubt, confusion and bitterness in the person being ghosted. To anyone thinking of doing this, place yourselves in the shoes of the other person. Would you like this done to you, or rather prefer a straight answer? |
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"If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
"
It's the cha he is communication though. Someone usually chatty, sending you messages first thing in morning and last thing at the night suddenly struggling to even say hi..... That's ghosting in my eyes. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
It's the cha he is communication though. Someone usually chatty, sending you messages first thing in morning and last thing at the night suddenly struggling to even say hi..... That's ghosting in my eyes. "
Yeah I'm talking of morning each morning and good night texts and texts throughout the day as well as the odd phone call or several calls a week and then nothing. Absolutely nothing. Still watching snapchat stories but won't even look at the message on what's app despite being on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you've already made friends and met in person its a bit low. But I was considering what if something awful (god forbid) did happen to me. I would just vanish, as in the profile would become dormant and would leave a few people wondering what happened (maybe)
Other things outside your control can happen I guess and then you have to choose your priorities. But still leaves the one left behind with a bit of uncertainty no doubt x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communication is two way. I am friends with several ladies on this site but I find myself instigating most of the conversations, to the point that I feel like I am pestering them, so I leave them alone for a while.. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
It's the cha he is communication though. Someone usually chatty, sending you messages first thing in morning and last thing at the night suddenly struggling to even say hi..... That's ghosting in my eyes.
Yeah I'm talking of morning each morning and good night texts and texts throughout the day as well as the odd phone call or several calls a week and then nothing. Absolutely nothing. Still watching snapchat stories but won't even look at the message on what's app despite being on "
There comes a point in any relationship, when that constant communication wears thin. He might feel he's been leading you on. He might be having problems in real life that he doesn't want to burden you with. You can never tell. Can't help you on the Snapchat thing though- I thought that was for kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been ghosted so much it makes me feel like I'm walking in the underworld 
I haven't cut your thread yet. No room in the underworld for you. "
Lmao, that took me back a few years, HERCULES!!! |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
Im a great believer in treating people how I would like to be treated. Communicate openenly be honest with integrity. Don't say what you think someone whats to hear be true to yourself and others. Plus actions speak louder than words 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone doesn't stay in touch (even someone I've known a while), I forget about them. I don't dwell on why they have gone silent; probably because I don't care enough, and my family takes up a lot of my time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a year or two ago ..... people would say ..... ignore.
Now it's made out to be something eerie.
They are ignoring you. They don't want your company.
simple."
That's what I think. If they cared about me, and it was a problem time they were going through, they would message and let me know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the person in question is a bloke - had you considered that some of us ain't that chatty.
I speak to my best mates who.I grew up with a few times a year.
I have friends I have made here and one that I still sleep with on occasion. If I talk to them more than once a fortnight, that's pretty chatty for me.
It's the cha he is communication though. Someone usually chatty, sending you messages first thing in morning and last thing at the night suddenly struggling to even say hi..... That's ghosting in my eyes.
Yeah I'm talking of morning each morning and good night texts and texts throughout the day as well as the odd phone call or several calls a week and then nothing. Absolutely nothing. Still watching snapchat stories but won't even look at the message on what's app despite being on "
Sounds like he's had enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
Where NSA is concerned, I have no problem ignoring someone who is blatantly ignoring my boundaries. I have a three strike rule of thumb. It's a tad Flexible as in people deserve a second chance sometimes but they do not get the luxury of three strike outs second time round.
Life outside of fab is different as in a relationship. Nobody deserves to be left floundering with doubt, anxiety and over analysis of everything that has happened in a quest to find a reason for the other person's needless harshness. I feel that a lot of the time it's done out of control, anger and complete disregard for the other person's feelings. More a lack of maturity than ball's. |
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"Where NSA is concerned, I have no problem ignoring someone who is blatantly ignoring my boundaries. I have a three strike rule of thumb. It's a tad Flexible as in people deserve a second chance sometimes but they do not get the luxury of three strike outs second time round.
Life outside of fab is different as in a relationship. Nobody deserves to be left floundering with doubt, anxiety and over analysis of everything that has happened in a quest to find a reason for the other person's needless harshness. I feel that a lot of the time it's done out of control, anger and complete disregard for the other person's feelings. More a lack of maturity than ball's. "
Yes 'needless harshness'.... |
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them. "
Ah so you can, in turn, then dish out 'the most disrespectful and hurtful' behaviour back at them?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them. "
I was going to say then, that is more technically breadcrumbing than ghosting. Ghosts tend to completely dissappear. They don't get in touch again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
I was going to say then, that is more technically breadcrumbing than ghosting. Ghosts tend to completely dissappear. They don't get in touch again. "
breadcrumbing is where you find your way back to where you started ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
I was going to say then, that is more technically breadcrumbing than ghosting. Ghosts tend to completely dissappear. They don't get in touch again. breadcrumbing is where you find your way back to where you started ? "
Have you not read Hansel and Gretel? Those poor sods didn't make it back..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
I was going to say then, that is more technically breadcrumbing than ghosting. Ghosts tend to completely dissappear. They don't get in touch again. breadcrumbing is where you find your way back to where you started ?
Have you not read Hansel and Gretel? Those poor sods didn't make it back.. "
they didn't Awwwww that's kinda sad but food for thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why. "
Because the Internet age has made people cowardly and ill-mannered. Not saying it didn't happen before but much more common nowadays. It's almost seen as acceptable behaviour which I find shocking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Depends why they've dine it ...there is no clearer message to avoid confusion, but it's incredibly harsh.
People leave..but how they leave stays with us.
I don't think there is ever a reason or an excuse to do it anyone. Surely if you have built any type of "ship" ie friendship/relationship then the mature thing to do is say."blah blah for reasons x,y and z".
Happening to a lot of people lately and I just seem to fathom the why.
Because the Internet age has made people cowardly and ill-mannered. Not saying it didn't happen before but much more common nowadays. It's almost seen as acceptable behaviour which I find shocking. "
no accountability but the when the no porn on the internet ban comes in maybe that will sort some of the crap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Because the Internet age has made people cowardly and ill-mannered. Not saying it didn't happen before but much more common nowadays. It's almost seen as acceptable behaviour which I find shocking. "
Absolutely right. And people DO get away with their disgraceful behaviours even with website admins etc ... Shocking indeed, and appalling too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
Ah so you can, in turn, then dish out 'the most disrespectful and hurtful' behaviour back at them??"
When someone’s been a nasty little shit to me with total disregard for my feelings, forgive me for not being too bothered about how my ignoring them makes them feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
I was going to say then, that is more technically breadcrumbing than ghosting. Ghosts tend to completely dissappear. They don't get in touch again. breadcrumbing is where you find your way back to where you started ?
Have you not read Hansel and Gretel? Those poor sods didn't make it back.. they didn't Awwwww that's kinda sad but food for thought "
Breadcrumbing is a thing! Metaphorically speaking dahling a modern dating phenomenon...  |
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
Ah so you can, in turn, then dish out 'the most disrespectful and hurtful' behaviour back at them??
When someone’s been a nasty little shit to me with total disregard for my feelings, forgive me for not being too bothered about how my ignoring them makes them feel. "
Oh indeed....and yet if we all just repay like with like we end up with a world full of grown adults playing childish games with each other on the internet.
I am primal prey mind you - if someone reduces communication with me it really turns me off, so it amounts to the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
Ah so you can, in turn, then dish out 'the most disrespectful and hurtful' behaviour back at them??
When someone’s been a nasty little shit to me with total disregard for my feelings, forgive me for not being too bothered about how my ignoring them makes them feel.
Oh indeed....and yet if we all just repay like with like we end up with a world full of grown adults playing childish games with each other on the internet.
I am primal prey mind you - if someone reduces communication with me it really turns me off, so it amounts to the same thing."
It’s not about being hateful to the ghostly breadcrumbing perpetrator. It’s just to choose simply to not engage. I don’t see that as a childish game, rather the right and emotionally mature thing to do for your own good, to maintain ones composure and sanity. we gotta look after ourselves a little right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What if you have tried to tell the person (in the nicest way possible) that you are getting feelings....hoping they will do the right thing and leave it where it is... But they don't they continue to mail/text but not because they may feel the same.... Personally I believe ghosting by not replying is the only answer! For your own sanity and emotional well being! |
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I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it "
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"What if you have tried to tell the person (in the nicest way possible) that you are getting feelings....hoping they will do the right thing and leave it where it is... But they don't they continue to mail/text but not because they may feel the same.... Personally I believe ghosting by not replying is the only answer! For your own sanity and emotional well being! "
That's a bit different and is it ghosting if you've told them and they don't listen? |
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates."
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this with a girl into DD/lg. I never figured it out, We’d had a couple of play dates and she seemed into it. Then she spent a week sending endless pornographic photos of herself to me. Then it just went silent. No contact, stopped answering her phone. Never worked it out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions."
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x |
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions.
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x"
The worst of it being the poor sod on the receiving end has no idea that anything is wrong initially and ends up making a tit of themselves sending messages to someone who has already cut them off from their side. |
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Once met a "legal" guy - I liked him but would not say I was I was in love and certainly not looking for a LTR. He managed to "persuade" me (in want of a better word) that we were meant to be together and he was making retirement plans with me.
Over the course of a couple of months or so I found him inconsistent in the stories he was telling me so I checked where his emails were really coming from rather than from where he claimed he was at the time of writing... suffice to say 99% of what he was saying were lies.
He ghosted when he realised that he had been found out, well and truly.
I also found out that while he actually was a solicitor, he was not the barrister he claimed to be.
To this day I have no idea why he felt the need to pretend he wanted a LTR.
Maybe he was deeply insecure ... who knows.
People do strange things and do not always consider the impact it may have on the people they are ghosting, dont they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions.
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x
The worst of it being the poor sod on the receiving end has no idea that anything is wrong initially and ends up making a tit of themselves sending messages to someone who has already cut them off from their side."
That’s the thing isn’t it. I think as soon as you get a sniff that they’re backing off (the shorter messages, longer response times, etc) you need to start preparing for it mentally and maybe even back off a little too just to try and avoid said ‘feeling like a tit’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once met a "legal" guy - I liked him but would not say I was I was in love and certainly not looking for a LTR. He managed to "persuade" me (in want of a better word) that we were meant to be together and he was making retirement plans with me.
Over the course of a couple of months or so I found him inconsistent in the stories he was telling me so I checked where his emails were really coming from rather than from where he claimed he was at the time of writing... suffice to say 99% of what he was saying were lies.
He ghosted when he realised that he had been found out, well and truly.
I also found out that while he actually was a solicitor, he was not the barrister he claimed to be.
To this day I have no idea why he felt the need to pretend he wanted a LTR.
Maybe he was deeply insecure ... who knows.
People do strange things and do not always consider the impact it may have on the people they are ghosting, dont they?"
how do you check where emails are coming from? Do you mean the country email sent from or the IP address etc? Interested to know more about that! (Not that I’m a stalker...) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People ghost for many different reasons, they get bored, find something more interesting, a shiny new toy or something in their life means they have to step away. Sucks when I happens, but you just got to get on with it. If someone ghosts just because they want to or got bored then they probably aren't worth spending time on anyway. |
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"Once met a "legal" guy - I liked him but would not say I was I was in love and certainly not looking for a LTR. He managed to "persuade" me (in want of a better word) that we were meant to be together and he was making retirement plans with me.
Over the course of a couple of months or so I found him inconsistent in the stories he was telling me so I checked where his emails were really coming from rather than from where he claimed he was at the time of writing... suffice to say 99% of what he was saying were lies.
He ghosted when he realised that he had been found out, well and truly.
I also found out that while he actually was a solicitor, he was not the barrister he claimed to be.
To this day I have no idea why he felt the need to pretend he wanted a LTR.
Maybe he was deeply insecure ... who knows.
People do strange things and do not always consider the impact it may have on the people they are ghosting, dont they?how do you check where emails are coming from? Do you mean the country email sent from or the IP address etc? Interested to know more about that! (Not that I’m a stalker...) "
I ll pm you x |
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions.
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x
The worst of it being the poor sod on the receiving end has no idea that anything is wrong initially and ends up making a tit of themselves sending messages to someone who has already cut them off from their side.
That’s the thing isn’t it. I think as soon as you get a sniff that they’re backing off (the shorter messages, longer response times, etc) you need to start preparing for it mentally and maybe even back off a little too just to try and avoid said ‘feeling like a tit’ "
Yeah I can read the signs far better now at the ripe old age of 36 and will just walk away with the same level of coldness that they've given me rather than make an idiot of myself. In my early 20's there were occasions when I got upset over it though |
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"It's normally a case of the more the guy pulls away the more effort you put in to try and pull them back towards you.
"
Noooo, always the opposite, if they pull away, back off - go looking for other toys!! |
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"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions.
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x
The worst of it being the poor sod on the receiving end has no idea that anything is wrong initially and ends up making a tit of themselves sending messages to someone who has already cut them off from their side.
That’s the thing isn’t it. I think as soon as you get a sniff that they’re backing off (the shorter messages, longer response times, etc) you need to start preparing for it mentally and maybe even back off a little too just to try and avoid said ‘feeling like a tit’
Yeah I can read the signs far better now at the ripe old age of 36 and will just walk away with the same level of coldness that they've given me .."
Good way of describing it, 'walk away with coldness'. |
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"What if you have tried to tell the person (in the nicest way possible) that you are getting feelings....hoping they will do the right thing and leave it where it is... But they don't they continue to mail/text but not because they may feel the same.... Personally I believe ghosting by not replying is the only answer! For your own sanity and emotional well being! "
Maybe, but what's wrong with at least 'Sorry I can't do this, goodbye!'? |
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"Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful and hurtful things to do to someone. The best way to deal with a ghost I find is NOT to block (blocking shows them you’re bothered) but, once the ghost changes their mind, which they do often do when in need of you as an option again (when they realise you’re not chasing, texting, or bothered about them) and tries to send you little breadcrumb messages get you back; totally bloody ignore. READ the messages to send the ‘read’ signal their end. But totally IGNORE. They’ll be gutted they messed you around. You are in control then, not them.
Ah so you can, in turn, then dish out 'the most disrespectful and hurtful' behaviour back at them??
When someone’s been a nasty little shit to me with total disregard for my feelings, forgive me for not being too bothered about how my ignoring them makes them feel.
Oh indeed....and yet if we all just repay like with like we end up with a world full of grown adults playing childish games with each other on the internet.
I am primal prey mind you - if someone reduces communication with me it really turns me off, so it amounts to the same thing.
It’s not about being hateful to the ghostly breadcrumbing perpetrator. It’s just to choose simply to not engage. I don’t see that as a childish game, rather the right and emotionally mature thing to do for your own good, to maintain ones composure and sanity. we gotta look after ourselves a little right? "
Oh absolutely, I agree 100% - it was the description of making sure you 'send the read message', read and then ignore etc, which sounded a bit like like a tit for tat game.
If it was someone I was meeting regularly I would give them a piece of my mind if they deliberately ignored any message, that's just pig ignorant rudeness, totally unnecessary.
The trouble is internet 'society' has very little peer pressure, no mates down the pub to tell you you're being a total shit, so people do what they like. Integrity is doing what is right even when no-one is watching, and there's precious little of that to be found on the internet.
But if you are ghosted by someone on here or a dating site you haven't even met....meh, you walk off muttering something about 'pathetic timewasters' under your breath and then yell 'Next!'!! |
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Ghosting is proper shit. To be honest you’ve caught a lucky escape as the person as no guts or morals.
I met a girl once we talked for weeks and then had 2 amazing weekends together. Real connection I thought on the deepest of levels. Sexually, emotionally, spiritually. Complete little love bubble. I really liked her.
Said goodbye at the station the next morning. Kissed her on the lips and said I’d call the next day.
Next day she’d blocked my phone and blocked me on all social media with no explanation at all. Not one word. I’ve still no idea why?
I’m a big boy, I can handle most things. She should have just said what she was feeling and didn’t want to see me and that would have been ok.
I wrote her a letter. Still got no reply and I’m none the wiser for her reasons. Guess she panicked or had someone better or I don’t know what.
Fortunately there are many girls who have much better morals and depth of character so it all works out in the end. |
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"Ghosting is proper shit. To be honest you’ve caught a lucky escape as the person as no guts or morals.
I met a girl once we talked for weeks and then had 2 amazing weekends together. Real connection I thought on the deepest of levels. Sexually, emotionally, spiritually. Complete little love bubble. I really liked her.
Said goodbye at the station the next morning. Kissed her on the lips and said I’d call the next day.
Next day she’d blocked my phone and blocked me on all social media with no explanation at all. Not one word. I’ve still no idea why?
I’m a big boy, I can handle most things. She should have just said what she was feeling and didn’t want to see me and that would have been ok.
I wrote her a letter. Still got no reply and I’m none the wiser for her reasons. Guess she panicked or had someone better or I don’t know what.
Fortunately there are many girls who have much better morals and depth of character so it all works out in the end. "
I understand where you are coming from. It is leaving one person completely in the dark about what just happened by offering no explanation whatsoever. In fact it can be really damaging to a person who may already feel a bit underconfident as it could reinforce stereotypical "it was my fault, it always happens to me" thinking.
Pretty cowardly and so unnecessary, isnt it? |
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"Ghosting is proper shit. To be honest you’ve caught a lucky escape as the person as no guts or morals.
I met a girl once we talked for weeks and then had 2 amazing weekends together. Real connection I thought on the deepest of levels. Sexually, emotionally, spiritually. Complete little love bubble. I really liked her.
Said goodbye at the station the next morning. Kissed her on the lips and said I’d call the next day.
Next day she’d blocked my phone and blocked me on all social media with no explanation at all. Not one word. I’ve still no idea why?
I’m a big boy, I can handle most things. She should have just said what she was feeling and didn’t want to see me and that would have been ok.
I wrote her a letter. Still got no reply and I’m none the wiser for her reasons. Guess she panicked or had someone better or I don’t know what.
Fortunately there are many girls who have much better morals and depth of character so it all works out in the end. I understand where you are coming from. It is leaving one person completely in the dark about what just happened by offering no explanation whatsoever. In fact it can be really damaging to a person who may already feel a bit underconfident as it could reinforce stereotypical "it was my fault, it always happens to me" thinking.
Pretty cowardly and so unnecessary, isnt it? "
I no longer try and figure out whats goings on in other people’s head. Just crack on and keep doing the right things.
Cowardess is an extremely unattractive trait so soon as I knew nothing bad had happened and was just being a coward it put me right off her.
Onwards and upwards. |
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"Ghosting is proper shit. To be honest you’ve caught a lucky escape as the person as no guts or morals.
I met a girl once we talked for weeks and then had 2 amazing weekends together. Real connection I thought on the deepest of levels. Sexually, emotionally, spiritually. Complete little love bubble. I really liked her.
Said goodbye at the station the next morning. Kissed her on the lips and said I’d call the next day.
Next day she’d blocked my phone and blocked me on all social media with no explanation at all. Not one word. I’ve still no idea why?
"
I think it is so cruel.
I knew a young city gent who had been seeing professional girl, lawyer or something, who just happened to be filipino. He was really into her but confessed that he had to end it because 'Bottom line I want my babies to look like me'.
He thought (or justified himself by saying) the kindest thing to do was ghost her! I debated it with him, but I am pretty sure that's what he did. Cowardly. Poor girl. |
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"Ghosting is proper shit. To be honest you’ve caught a lucky escape as the person as no guts or morals.
I met a girl once we talked for weeks and then had 2 amazing weekends together. Real connection I thought on the deepest of levels. Sexually, emotionally, spiritually. Complete little love bubble. I really liked her.
Said goodbye at the station the next morning. Kissed her on the lips and said I’d call the next day.
Next day she’d blocked my phone and blocked me on all social media with no explanation at all. Not one word. I’ve still no idea why?
I think it is so cruel.
I knew a young city gent who had been seeing professional girl, lawyer or something, who just happened to be filipino. He was really into her but confessed that he had to end it because 'Bottom line I want my babies to look like me'.
He thought (or justified himself by saying) the kindest thing to do was ghost her! I debated it with him, but I am pretty sure that's what he did. Cowardly. Poor girl. "
Just disrespectful, unkind and arguably not human. Poor lady indeed. |
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I have been ghosted in the past and if people are completely honest I bet the vast majority of people have ghosted others. But I guess people ghost not necessarily to be gutless or mean. Its often because other people often don't take rejection well. Many people I have talked to have many story's of people not taking rejection well. I mean its fine to change your mind about someone or find a better offer in this free market of fuckery so personally I would prefer to be told honestly rather than ghosted. People who know me know I'm not going to be a dick about it. But the trouble is if you don't know someone and others have been a dick about it in the past you cant blame people for saving the potential drama and just dropping off the radar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has it happen to me so followed suit ,had complaints about it so urban dictionaried it and sent the link ,its a modern thing and you like it or hate it but it won't go away .. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"I've had it done to me plenty of times in the past in the real world, meet a girl and seem to be getting on really well, then for no reason comms just stopped! I used to feel quite upset about it but the older, jaded and more cynical me knows it's usually because something better has caught their attention and there's sod all I can do about it
That happens a lot - I wasn't aware that I was supposed to get upset by it.
It probably just means that the conversation has petered out. It's difficult to maintain a conversation with someone you've only met once.
I think it's technology that causes people to become weird about these things.
Imagine you'd met someone in a bar, you'd had a chat, got along Ok, but the conversation had petered out- you wouldn't be offended, if you saw them out again, you'd nod and smile or have a quick chat and then probably wander off and join your mates.
I'm talking more about woman where things have happened physically between us and there seems to have been something there, everything going well and then all of a sudden with no explanation contact drops to one word answers or no reply at all. It's always turned out they've met someone else with no exceptions.
It’s not respectful or nice at all is it. I feel for you. Technology these days makes it so easy, and everything loses its value because people can just move on so easily. All we can do is let go and move on. It’s a comfort to know that it’s not just you it’s happening to; this happens to so many people in some way you are not alone x
The worst of it being the poor sod on the receiving end has no idea that anything is wrong initially and ends up making a tit of themselves sending messages to someone who has already cut them off from their side.
That’s the thing isn’t it. I think as soon as you get a sniff that they’re backing off (the shorter messages, longer response times, etc) you need to start preparing for it mentally and maybe even back off a little too just to try and avoid said ‘feeling like a tit’ "
The thing is when they question you as to why you haven't spoken to them for a while and you point out their behaviour they just don't get it !
Ghosting is mentally damaging no matter what form it takes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's normally a case of the more the guy pulls away the more effort you put in to try and pull them back towards you.
"
A very wise woman once told me to give them the gift of missing you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's normally a case of the more the guy pulls away the more effort you put in to try and pull them back towards you.
A very wise woman once told me to give them the gift of missing you. "
Has it worked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's normally a case of the more the guy pulls away the more effort you put in to try and pull them back towards you.
A very wise woman once told me to give them the gift of missing you.
Has it worked? "
I'm trying again. 1 week done so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's normally a case of the more the guy pulls away the more effort you put in to try and pull them back towards you.
A very wise woman once told me to give them the gift of missing you.
Has it worked?
I'm trying again. 1 week done so far. "
It’s very true. I’m a massive fan of the author Bruce Bryans. He talks about this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is gonna sound weird but I enjoyed the merry go around of it all ,I'd do what younger girls did to me ,I'd ignore them or fib saying im busy.. two can play them games but I was getting Fed up of messaging like 8 girls at once ,work colleagues constantly taking the piss asi was texting so often.
Now iI've chucked my fat around im not so eager to chase so im more selective and calmer about it all |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"OP no fear, you won’t get rid off me that easily. We have popcorn and homemade cake, plus a whole host of other things to do x"
Haha my popcorn compadre! We have lots to do! You're stuck with me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP no fear, you won’t get rid off me that easily. We have popcorn and homemade cake, plus a whole host of other things to do x"
That's it! This man wants youuuuuu! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I've been ghosted. Met him online elsewhere, chatted everyday, swapped secrets and fantasies, swapped pics. He introduced me to this site a week ago. He went awol 48hrs ago, my messages have stopped delivering and I can't find him on here at all either.
Trying not to let it bother me, he's not the first probably wont be the last either |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"OP no fear, you won’t get rid off me that easily. We have popcorn and homemade cake, plus a whole host of other things to do x
That's it! This man wants youuuuuu! "
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"I think I've been ghosted. Met him online elsewhere, chatted everyday, swapped secrets and fantasies, swapped pics. He introduced me to this site a week ago. He went awol 48hrs ago, my messages have stopped delivering and I can't find him on here at all either.
Trying not to let it bother me, he's not the first probably wont be the last either "
I hope he is injured and not just left you in the lurch x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP no fear, you won’t get rid off me that easily. We have popcorn and homemade cake, plus a whole host of other things to do x
That's it! This man wants youuuuuu!
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills "
Come onnnnnn.....you are a steal! You're fucking awesome! |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook! "
You don't have Facebook douche bag! And I don't moan.... you know this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook!
Haha exactly x
Erm "
Nooooo...not like that! He's being nice....god at least I hope so.
Look....my precious....we love you. That's why you here. We feel your pain. So many of us feel your pain and have lived your pain. Think good thoughts. With love always comes hurt and pain. It's a fact. You are a treasure. You love and you'll be loved. You're experiencing life. Allow yourself to mourn your loss. It's real. Wishing you only good and happiness from now and furthermore x |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook!
Haha exactly x
Erm
Nooooo...not like that! He's being nice....god at least I hope so.
Look....my precious....we love you. That's why you here. We feel your pain. So many of us feel your pain and have lived your pain. Think good thoughts. With love always comes hurt and pain. It's a fact. You are a treasure. You love and you'll be loved. You're experiencing life. Allow yourself to mourn your loss. It's real. Wishing you only good and happiness from now and furthermore x"
My popcorn bud does like me.... I know this and hornydubman is a good friend of mine who likes trolling and winding me up .
|
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook!
Haha exactly x
Thanks for backing me up "
Listen you haha next time I visit I'll subject you to a boring kino..... |
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"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook!
Haha exactly x
Thanks for backing me up
Listen you haha next time I visit I'll subject you to a boring kino....."
Next time I'll leave ye there with the weird cant (with a U) that picked our lock if you keep up the whinging!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That is shit!
It's easy to say to others not to let it get to you. Not so easy when youre faced with it. Glad you got over it. "
Yeah, that was my feeling on the situation, too! Still, it served as a good "How not to break up with someone" lesson. Hopefully it's made me a little more self-aware and a bit less likely to be a dick to someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just happened to me. But we were happily together. Made holiday plans everything. Just shut me down and done. So sad. It’s now ruined my swinging too. She has a new profile on here and i’m Now left as a single man. |
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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"
Haha he wants me for my cake baking skills
How many different platforms can you moan on?? Glad I don't have you on Facebook!
Haha exactly x
Thanks for backing me up
Listen you haha next time I visit I'll subject you to a boring kino.....
Next time I'll leave ye there with the weird cant (with a U) that picked our lock if you keep up the whinging! "
Hahaha I don't think he and I would have got on |
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