FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you know if you’re a jerk?
How do you know if you’re a jerk?
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"My most recent act of Jerkdom was to say “far too long to read OP, anyway FAF?” "Dan! | |||
"i copied my entire post from the Guardian "Hella yeah, but it’s too good not to share. Oliver Burkeman is a dude. | |||
"I think most people kinda know when they're being a jerk as most are aware of when their behaviour steps outside of common decency and societies norms and values. Perhaps being unaware (or uncaring) of being a jerk could be a sign of sociopathic tendencies?" | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time." True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though. | |||
"Sometimes I feel like a jerk everyday. Yet I worry about how others see me and if the words I use and the things I do enhance or help other people in their lives and what they are searching for. I am often conflicted about what I say and how I say it. Often in the forums I type something and instead of posting it read it and delete. I can spend hours trying to find the right words and yet feel like I have failed in what I write or say. Sometimes I post stuff knowing it's a bit waspish yet do it anyway. Yet if someone hurts I often hurt with them and for them and feel my inadequacy to reach them and say or do something to touch them in the way they should or need to be touched. So yes I am a jerk but I hope others forgive my failings and view my failings as a person more kindly than I do. " Nods. Oh to be a jerk and not give a shit, no empathy and remorse might be easier! | |||
"My most recent act of Jerkdom was to say “far too long to read OP, anyway FAF?”
Dan!" Roy. I think you mean Roy!  | |||
"My most recent act of Jerkdom was to say “far too long to read OP, anyway FAF?”
Dan!
Roy. I think you mean Roy! "Jerk! | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time. True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though. "Well, sometimes I guess they deserve it and other times I would blame cirumstances on my being a jerk, or in retaliation to someone else being a jerk. But then there are times when I am just 'a jerk' and I should apologise for those times. | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time. True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though.
Well, sometimes I guess they deserve it and other times I would blame cirumstances on my being a jerk, or in retaliation to someone else being a jerk.
But then there are times when I am just 'a jerk' and I should apologise for those times.
"We are all jerks. | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time. True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though.
Well, sometimes I guess they deserve it and other times I would blame cirumstances on my being a jerk, or in retaliation to someone else being a jerk.
But then there are times when I am just 'a jerk' and I should apologise for those times.
We are all jerks. "Yep. I suppose we are. | |||
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"“Do you think it’s possible you might be a jerk? It’s a rude question, I know, but not a totally absurd one. After all, we’re surrounded by jerks – if you don’t believe me, glance at the headlines, drive home during rush hour, or check Twitter – so, statistically, it’s entirely plausible that one of them is you. I’m sure you don’t feel like a jerk, of course. But nobody does. Partly that’s because few of us like to believe anything negative about ourselves. But, as the philosopher Eric Schwitzgebel has argued in several essays, it’s also because the essence of jerkitude (which, he argues, is distinct from other forms of obnoxiousness) is “to see the world through goggles that dim others’ humanity”. Jerks view other people “as tools to be manipulated or fools to be dealt with, rather than as moral and epistemic peers”. So if you’re a jerk to people, and they respond in predictable ways – with anger, irritation or, if you’re lucky, friendly criticism – you won’t take their reactions seriously, assuming you’re even listening at all. Why? Because you’re a jerk. It gets worse, as Schwitzgebel explains. If you sincerely aspire to figure out whether or not you’re a jerk, you’ll probably begin by asking yourself if you regularly treat others high-handedly, regarding their desires and ideas as inferior, valuable only in so far as they serve your ends. Yet the very act of asking that question means you can’t, in that instant, be a jerk. “To the extent one genuinely worries about being a jerk, one’s jerkitude momentarily vanishes,” Schwitzgebel writes. “If you prickle with fear and shame at your possibly shabby behaviour to someone, in that moment, by virtue of that very prickling, you are… seeing that person as an individual with moral claims upon you.” But don’t get too comfortable: if you take this to mean that you couldn’t possibly be a jerk, since you’re the kind of person sensitive enough to wonder if you might be, then you’ll lapse back into complacency, which is fertile soil for becoming a jerk. This, then, is your awkward predicament: you don’t feel like a jerk, but this might just be because you’re such a jerk. And if you introspect honestly, asking yourself if you’re a jerk, you’ll find you aren’t, even if you usually are. So is there any way to determine, objectively, if you’re a jerk? Schwitzgebel thinks there is: stop looking inside yourself, and look at how you view other people instead. Do you find yourself often feeling besieged by idiots? Since jerks take such a dim view of others, that’s a red flag. “Everywhere you turn, are you surrounded by fools, by boring nonentities, by faceless masses and foes and suckers and, indeed, jerks? Are you the only competent, reasonable person to be found?” If so, bad news: you’re probably a jerk, at least sometimes. On those days when you seem to have an issue with virtually everyone you meet, it’s a good bet the cause is whatever all those encounters have in common. And, not to be a jerk about it… that’s you.” (Oh Oliver Burkeman, how I love you!) What was your last act of jerkdom? "How do u have the effort to write this after a wrestling match? | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time. True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though.
Well, sometimes I guess they deserve it and other times I would blame cirumstances on my being a jerk, or in retaliation to someone else being a jerk.
But then there are times when I am just 'a jerk' and I should apologise for those times.
We are all jerks.
Yep. I suppose we are."You more so, though. | |||
"I know I am." Me too about me | |||
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"I tried reading this opening statement but I couldn't concentrate long enough." I’ll post the easy read picture version later. | |||
"“Do you think it’s possible you might be a jerk? It’s a rude question, I know, but not a totally absurd one. After all, we’re surrounded by jerks – if you don’t believe me, glance at the headlines, drive home during rush hour, or check Twitter – so, statistically, it’s entirely plausible that one of them is you. I’m sure you don’t feel like a jerk, of course. But nobody does. Partly that’s because few of us like to believe anything negative about ourselves. But, as the philosopher Eric Schwitzgebel has argued in several essays, it’s also because the essence of jerkitude (which, he argues, is distinct from other forms of obnoxiousness) is “to see the world through goggles that dim others’ humanity”. Jerks view other people “as tools to be manipulated or fools to be dealt with, rather than as moral and epistemic peers”. So if you’re a jerk to people, and they respond in predictable ways – with anger, irritation or, if you’re lucky, friendly criticism – you won’t take their reactions seriously, assuming you’re even listening at all. Why? Because you’re a jerk. It gets worse, as Schwitzgebel explains. If you sincerely aspire to figure out whether or not you’re a jerk, you’ll probably begin by asking yourself if you regularly treat others high-handedly, regarding their desires and ideas as inferior, valuable only in so far as they serve your ends. Yet the very act of asking that question means you can’t, in that instant, be a jerk. “To the extent one genuinely worries about being a jerk, one’s jerkitude momentarily vanishes,” Schwitzgebel writes. “If you prickle with fear and shame at your possibly shabby behaviour to someone, in that moment, by virtue of that very prickling, you are… seeing that person as an individual with moral claims upon you.” But don’t get too comfortable: if you take this to mean that you couldn’t possibly be a jerk, since you’re the kind of person sensitive enough to wonder if you might be, then you’ll lapse back into complacency, which is fertile soil for becoming a jerk. This, then, is your awkward predicament: you don’t feel like a jerk, but this might just be because you’re such a jerk. And if you introspect honestly, asking yourself if you’re a jerk, you’ll find you aren’t, even if you usually are. So is there any way to determine, objectively, if you’re a jerk? Schwitzgebel thinks there is: stop looking inside yourself, and look at how you view other people instead. Do you find yourself often feeling besieged by idiots? Since jerks take such a dim view of others, that’s a red flag. “Everywhere you turn, are you surrounded by fools, by boring nonentities, by faceless masses and foes and suckers and, indeed, jerks? Are you the only competent, reasonable person to be found?” If so, bad news: you’re probably a jerk, at least sometimes. On those days when you seem to have an issue with virtually everyone you meet, it’s a good bet the cause is whatever all those encounters have in common. And, not to be a jerk about it… that’s you.” (Oh Oliver Burkeman, how I love you!) What was your last act of jerkdom?
How do u have the effort to write this after a wrestling match?"Cut and paste. | |||
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"I must be a jerk, read the article and figured anyone who NEVER behaved in the described ways of being a jerk... would be bloody annoying... " | |||
"I've kind of seen the light with my jerkish tendencies - before I would just carry on with my pig headed stubbornness but now I am far more likely to care and check in with the other person if I think I may have been a jerk. Not quite there yet but it is something I am working on." 
It’s an interesting journey. | |||
"Probably every day to someone in one way or another. Oh well, we can't be jerkless all the time. True. I think it’s what you do about it that counts though.
Well, sometimes I guess they deserve it and other times I would blame cirumstances on my being a jerk, or in retaliation to someone else being a jerk.
But then there are times when I am just 'a jerk' and I should apologise for those times.
We are all jerks.
Yep. I suppose we are.
You more so, though. "Well, the level of jerktitude is just a matter of opinion. I suspect for every person someone thinks is a jerk there will be someone who thinks they are wonderful.Probably. | |||
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"Jerk off "  | |||
"Jerk it out - love that song " | |||
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"https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27PydomerjM" Love that tune! | |||
"https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27PydomerjM Love that tune!" Liggy, you’ve now made me want to listen to this classic...!! https://youtu.be/ULx9k2QkL94 | |||
"https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27PydomerjM" | |||
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"“Do you think it’s possible you might be a jerk? It’s a rude question, I know, but not a totally absurd one. After all, we’re surrounded by jerks – if you don’t believe me, glance at the headlines, drive home during rush hour, or check Twitter – so, statistically, it’s entirely plausible that one of them is you. I’m sure you don’t feel like a jerk, of course. But nobody does. Partly that’s because few of us like to believe anything negative about ourselves. But, as the philosopher Eric Schwitzgebel has argued in several essays, it’s also because the essence of jerkitude (which, he argues, is distinct from other forms of obnoxiousness) is “to see the world through goggles that dim others’ humanity”. Jerks view other people “as tools to be manipulated or fools to be dealt with, rather than as moral and epistemic peers”. So if you’re a jerk to people, and they respond in predictable ways – with anger, irritation or, if you’re lucky, friendly criticism – you won’t take their reactions seriously, assuming you’re even listening at all. Why? Because you’re a jerk. It gets worse, as Schwitzgebel explains. If you sincerely aspire to figure out whether or not you’re a jerk, you’ll probably begin by asking yourself if you regularly treat others high-handedly, regarding their desires and ideas as inferior, valuable only in so far as they serve your ends. Yet the very act of asking that question means you can’t, in that instant, be a jerk. “To the extent one genuinely worries about being a jerk, one’s jerkitude momentarily vanishes,” Schwitzgebel writes. “If you prickle with fear and shame at your possibly shabby behaviour to someone, in that moment, by virtue of that very prickling, you are… seeing that person as an individual with moral claims upon you.” But don’t get too comfortable: if you take this to mean that you couldn’t possibly be a jerk, since you’re the kind of person sensitive enough to wonder if you might be, then you’ll lapse back into complacency, which is fertile soil for becoming a jerk. This, then, is your awkward predicament: you don’t feel like a jerk, but this might just be because you’re such a jerk. And if you introspect honestly, asking yourself if you’re a jerk, you’ll find you aren’t, even if you usually are. So is there any way to determine, objectively, if you’re a jerk? Schwitzgebel thinks there is: stop looking inside yourself, and look at how you view other people instead. Do you find yourself often feeling besieged by idiots? Since jerks take such a dim view of others, that’s a red flag. “Everywhere you turn, are you surrounded by fools, by boring nonentities, by faceless masses and foes and suckers and, indeed, jerks? Are you the only competent, reasonable person to be found?” If so, bad news: you’re probably a jerk, at least sometimes. On those days when you seem to have an issue with virtually everyone you meet, it’s a good bet the cause is whatever all those encounters have in common. And, not to be a jerk about it… that’s you.” (Oh Oliver Burkeman, how I love you!) What was your last act of jerkdom? "I know I'm a jerk, and even more so because I believe that my awareness of the fact is somehow endearing. | |||
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"https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27PydomerjM Love that tune! Liggy, you’ve now made me want to listen to this classic...!! https://youtu.be/ULx9k2QkL94"  Oh my days. I copied the link, went to paste it in, thought ooh, The Snake will be a tune I can suggest afterwards and lo and behold I didn't need to! I shall be dancing around my front room like a twat for the next few minutes. | |||
"https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=27PydomerjM Love that tune! Liggy, you’ve now made me want to listen to this classic...!! https://youtu.be/ULx9k2QkL94 Oh my days. I copied the link, went to paste it in, thought ooh, The Snake will be a tune I can suggest afterwards and lo and behold I didn't need to! I shall be dancing around my front room like a twat for the next few minutes."No way!! My kindred spirit. | |||
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"I replay my conversations and re-read things I’ve written. That confirms it frequently " And recall things that I’ve done that serve to reinforce my belief | |||
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"I think most people kinda know when they're being a jerk as most are aware of when their behaviour steps outside of common decency and societies norms and values. Perhaps being unaware (or uncaring) of being a jerk could be a sign of sociopathic tendencies?" I think I have sociopathic tendencies the n because although I am aware when I’m being a jerk I don’t really give a toss | |||
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"I have no idea what a Jerk is. I'm British - it's an Americanism. It's as specific as "arsehole", and yet someone appears to have written a paper as if it's a specific personality trait/disorder. Next week: the "bit of a twat" complex. " That's why I Googled it. I wanted to be sure I had the correct meaning of the word jerk. I'm not sure of the differences between a nerd, a geek and a dweeb. | |||
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