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Most embarrassing moments during sex
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I vomited all down myself while trying to deep throat a guy
Oh I've come close to that a couple of times 
Was all pork scratchings and kettle chips as well as we'd been down the pub before "
Mmmmm pork scratchings..... i do love a classy lady  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘Coming on’
Fanny farts
Falling off the bed
Almost snapping his banjo when on top
That’s just a few  "
You just had every guy cringe and tence up with the banjo comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay. So my then boyfriend was briefly living at his parents' house for a while, we had a few drinks one night and things got a little bit amorous. So we go to bed, and his room was on the ground floor with a bathroom just along the hall and his parents & son slept on the first floor. We were just about to have sex, I pushed him off and got to the bathroom just in time to vomit. He got me in the shower, helped me wash, combed my hair, dressed me in one of his t shirts and tucked me back into bed, but I was still up and down for another hour after that. His mum blamed him for getting me d*unk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Broke his banjo string as I took his virginity
Was on top a rather well built guy when his child walked in. Before I knew it he'd lifted me off and I landed badly against the chest of drawers....dislocated shoulder and concussion was not what I hoped to get.
Used a bath bomb that I'd been bought as a gift, before arranging a last minute booty call. Guy was impressed at the "effort" I'd made, when I realised it had been a very glittery bath bomb and Id acquired a disco vagina
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"Broke a finger falling out the bath shagging in the shower..... got up off the floor and carried on  "
Crazy cat lady here. How do you ‘fall out of a bath’? Brave you for carrying on as you guys are fragile when hurt   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fucked someone a while back in a doggy position. Then she farted in my face. Two times on different occasions. The smell turned me off lol
Share yours "
Was in a swinger club in an orgy room and put on the wrong underwear when I left because it was dark! |
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"Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me..... "
A gay man that has sex with women??? |
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"Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me.....
A gay man that has sex with women???"
Lots of gay men have sex with women before coming out. |
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"Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me.....
A gay man that has sex with women???
Lots of gay men have sex with women before coming out. "
If you can get through a session with a woman and reach orgasm then you are at least bisexual. |
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"Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me.....
A gay man that has sex with women???
Lots of gay men have sex with women before coming out.
If you can get through a session with a woman and reach orgasm then you are at least bisexual. "
Not really. Not if the while time you are thinking of guys, imagining it's a guy you're fucking etc. I think I've seen you have this discussion before and you're quite black and white about it.
Many famously gay men (barrymore, Elton John etc) married women, I'm sure barrymore had children so must have had sex, and admitted they had lived a lie because they thought its what thry had to do.
It's amazing what some people will suppress to 'fit in'. Life is often complicated, not black and white. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a garden apartment witj french doors to garden
Gardeners had not been when sheduled due to weather, so arrived one sunny morning while I was entertaining I only realised they would have heard everything and had eye full after I went to main for and they put calling card with hour they had been but would come back ... It was extremely embarrassing until it was mentioned in joke a few visits later ... enough said xc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a garden apartment witj french doors to garden
Gardeners had not been when sheduled due to weather, so arrived one sunny morning while I was entertaining I only realised they would have heard everything and had eye full after I went to main for and they put calling card with hour they had been but would come back ... It was extremely embarrassing until it was mentioned in joke a few visits later ... enough said xc
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When I was a teenager me and my ex had sex early one morning as loud as we could at hers because all of her family had gone out to a car boot sale. It got dirty as hell as she screamed "Fuck me harder,treat me like a dirty little slut! Cum in my tight little pussy" and a host of more absolutely sexy as hell filthy comments. With my cum dripping out of her and all over her we came out of her room to go to the bathroom and was met by her mom.
"Could you keep it down please I've been up all night ill"
She turned bright red and we got up and went straight out there and then. Hehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First time trying watersports in a hotel bath, but didn't account how impossible it would be to get up and out of the bath at the end due to .....1) The bath being an old shit design tub with nothing to grip onto. 2) The tub and me now being wet and slippery, and 3) My playmate laughing so hard at my predicament that in turn made me laugh so much that I became even weaker & unable to pull myself up & out of the bathtub.
Was this meant to be erotic!? Lol.
At least it was "memorable"!  |
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Oh.... Kicked my fb in the head while changing positions in the round room at chams... Got the giggles and had to leave.
Then there was the time nicearms stood on a used condom while valiantly defending my honour in the same room lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Asked a guy if he was okay while doing the deed. He misheard and thought I'd asked him if he was gay. His answer was yes. Then silence, he finished then asked me why had I asked if he was gay.... I said I hadn't asked that, looked at him blankly then we both started laughing.
He'd been trying to figure out a way of telling me.....
A gay man that has sex with women???"
Yup! He wasn't sure he was gay or something |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
This is back in the 80s when Canary Wharf was still being built...
I met an old work colleague for a boozy Friday-before-Christmas lunch. We'd never even flirted when we worked together but we started to get flirty and handsy and he suggested I come and see his new office in Docklands.
We hopped in the car (I know!) and when got there the office was empty, it being POETS day. He showed me around the swanky new offices and, somehow, we ended up on the new board room table.
When we had finished and I stood up to dress I realised that it was dark outside and very well lit inside and there was a bunch of builders standing watching the performance. They clapped and whistled.
Leaving was a real walk of shame and ended all workplace sex for me.
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Oh.... New one! Riding a guy quite vigorously when a bottle of water fell off the headboard and cracked him in the nose!
He got the giggles and was worried he would lose the moment so had to get his head back in the game  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh.... New one! Riding a guy quite vigorously when a bottle of water fell off the headboard and cracked him in the nose!
He got the giggles and was worried he would lose the moment so had to get his head back in the game "
Hahahaha thats some funny shit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Called her by my ex girlfriends name.
Killed the session stone dead. Watched a movie instead in a very awkward silence. "
Sorry to everyone else, but this man wins this thread!!! |
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In a car at night parked up somewhere remote, after long passionate kissing unzipping his trousers hoping for something interesting and finding an Incontinence pad and no he wasn’t an OAP!!!
Totally ruined the evening it did!!! Also shocked me to the core! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Think of me as naive but what is the ‘banjo’? "
It's the frenulum, the piece of skin underneath between the foreskin and the penis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one night trying to impress a girl..been out on a couple of dates ,thought i will cook her a nice meal...made a mexican dish used quite a bit of fresh chilli's....worked a treat..fast forward and hour she was naked i started to play with he lady garden...what i hadnt done was wash my hands after handling the chilli's..never seen a anyone jump around a bedroom like that before
didnt see her again lol |
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Think of me as naive but what is the ‘banjo’?
It's the frenulum, the piece of skin underneath between the foreskin and the penis "
OUCH! So what happened? Did it mend itself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Think of me as naive but what is the ‘banjo’?
It's the frenulum, the piece of skin underneath between the foreskin and the penis
OUCH! So what happened? Did it mend itself? "
Yeah pretty much phoned my mate. He laughed at me. Phoned 999. They gave me the number for this advice line, but they said it usually heals on its own. I was out of action for a couple of months last year but he's doing much better now |
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"one night trying to impress a girl..been out on a couple of dates ,thought i will cook her a nice meal...made a mexican dish used quite a bit of fresh chilli's....worked a treat..fast forward and hour she was naked i started to play with he lady garden...what i hadnt done was wash my hands after handling the chilli's..never seen a anyone jump around a bedroom like that before
didnt see her again lol"
Did the same thing but went to the loo for a Jimmy and couldn't work out why the old fella was burning not something I'd repeat ! |
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"dropping my trousers to show my exes fuck buddy how small my cock is before being sent out the bedroom ."
Not sure why you weren't made to lick her clit while he fucked her? Waste of a good tongue if you ask me |
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Think of me as naive but what is the ‘banjo’?
It's the frenulum, the piece of skin underneath between the foreskin and the penis
OUCH! So what happened? Did it mend itself?
Yeah pretty much phoned my mate. He laughed at me. Phoned 999. They gave me the number for this advice line, but they said it usually heals on its own. I was out of action for a couple of months last year but he's doing much better now "
Has it made you uneasy though? Have you changed the pace since then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Think of me as naive but what is the ‘banjo’?
It's the frenulum, the piece of skin underneath between the foreskin and the penis
OUCH! So what happened? Did it mend itself?
Yeah pretty much phoned my mate. He laughed at me. Phoned 999. They gave me the number for this advice line, but they said it usually heals on its own. I was out of action for a couple of months last year but he's doing much better now
Has it made you uneasy though? Have you changed the pace since then?"
The first attempt I was a bit nervous, I did change up tactics at first lol. When I realised it was all fine though it was like it never happened. I just forget about it until these threads come up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999 "
Yes this happened to me too ...I was thinking Christ's he is a quiet in like never before and was pounding like a raging bull
She got up to go into bathroom and shouted fuck ryan are you okay opening bathroom door and covered in blood
I said yes then pulled back duvet and I looked as if I had cut my cock off ... blood energy where and still squirting out
There was no pain but I do recall something happening I heat if the moment that felt strange
Issue was we both had been staying in 5* hotel so phoning down to reception was horrendously embarrassing
I did manage to stop bleed myself though by adding lots pressure onto bell end ... It put me off sex for a while two days and girl was left traumatised by experience ... she kissed it better many times after our blood bath though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst receiving several hours of oral (with short breaks after orgasms when I was so hyper-sensitive that the slightest touch had me climbing the walls!), I got so swept up in euphoria that I zoned out and fell asleep. Twice, with the same guy.
On two other occasions, again with the same guy as above, I've reached a point of complete delerium and been so relaxed that a small fart has slipped out.
Also, whilst riding him particularly hard and fast, I raised up too far, he slipped out, and I came down on him, nearly breaking him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ripped my banjo. Freaked me the fuck out, Thought she was on at first but nope. Even phoned 999
Yes this happened to me too ...I was thinking Christ's he is a quiet in like never before and was pounding like a raging bull
She got up to go into bathroom and shouted fuck ryan are you okay opening bathroom door and covered in blood
I said yes then pulled back duvet and I looked as if I had cut my cock off ... blood energy where and still squirting out
There was no pain but I do recall something happening I heat if the moment that felt strange
Issue was we both had been staying in 5* hotel so phoning down to reception was horrendously embarrassing
I did manage to stop bleed myself though by adding lots pressure onto bell end ... It put me off sex for a while two days and girl was left traumatised by experience ... she kissed it better many times after our blood bath though "
Its horrible isn't it! Scared the Jesus out of me and I just hit panic mode |
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Cracked 8 ribs receiving a massage
While eating a banana it cracked in half and the half that was'nt in my mouth, well lets just say suction took over and it vanished. A frantic 30 minutes later it eventually re-emerged. |
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"Cracked 8 ribs receiving a massage
While eating a banana it cracked in half and the half that was'nt in my mouth, well lets just say suction took over and it vanished. A frantic 30 minutes later it eventually re-emerged. "
Note to self! Sex and fruit don’t mix well.... |
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After a long boozy afternoon/evening, got back to my girlfriend''s place. Was giving her a vigorous fingering when she started to squirt. I was very aroused by this as she had never done this before.
A few seconds later I realised she wasn't squirting. She had passed out and pissing copiously. I had to shout and shake her to wake her up and stop the pissing.
Had to spend the rest of the night sleeping on a piss sodden mattress. |
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Was in the middle of an MMF, one guy under giving Mrs M oral whilst I was behind her.
I popped out and hit him clean in the mouth.
Don't think you have ever seen two guys move so fast in your life. |
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"After a long boozy afternoon/evening, got back to my girlfriend''s place. Was giving her a vigorous fingering when she started to squirt. I was very aroused by this as she had never done this before.
A few seconds later I realised she wasn't squirting. She had passed out and pissing copiously. I had to shout and shake her to wake her up and stop the pissing.
Had to spend the rest of the night sleeping on a piss sodden mattress. "
Note to Jagermeister - vigourous fingering sessions with inebriated woman don’t mix LOL. |
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By *lackXeal OP Man
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
"After a long boozy afternoon/evening, got back to my girlfriend''s place. Was giving her a vigorous fingering when she started to squirt. I was very aroused by this as she had never done this before.
A few seconds later I realised she wasn't squirting. She had passed out and pissing copiously. I had to shout and shake her to wake her up and stop the pissing.
Had to spend the rest of the night sleeping on a piss sodden mattress. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a long boozy afternoon/evening, got back to my girlfriend''s place. Was giving her a vigorous fingering when she started to squirt. I was very aroused by this as she had never done this before.
A few seconds later I realised she wasn't squirting. She had passed out and pissing copiously. I had to shout and shake her to wake her up and stop the pissing.
Had to spend the rest of the night sleeping on a piss sodden mattress.
"
Happened to the cousin of my mate too !
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By *rozacMan
over a year ago
london |
"After a long boozy afternoon/evening, got back to my girlfriend''s place. Was giving her a vigorous fingering when she started to squirt. I was very aroused by this as she had never done this before.
A few seconds later I realised she wasn't squirting."
Should've d*unk it. Been in a similar situation and due to the alcohol intake it was really sweet tasting and went down easy  |
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