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Before meets what safety measures do you put in place?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I chat on the phone and always meet somewhere public for a social.
Nothing is fool proof I guess and I’ve had a subsequent meet not go well.
What do others do? |
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If I was meeting someone new, I always met in a public place and told a trusted and discreet Fab friend where I was going and who I was meeting.
If I'm meeting my fwb.... I make sure there's plenty of coffee.... He gets grumpy otherwise  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always suggest a social first....and meet public place.
However, over the years it has amazed me how many women, maybe after a few exchanged texts or even messages on here will then switch to meeting at theirs, or at mine.
Obviously I know they will be safe and things have always gone well, but the fact they are ok with taking such a risk still amazes me!
A very good friend of mine used to do this regularly...it took ages for me to persuade her to at least have me on call as back up etc... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of chat beforehand to find if you really might be compatible. A meet somewhere in a public place that you feel comfortable. An understanding before you meet that at any time either party can say thanks, but no thanks, without any drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kik.
Then meet during the day for a coffee. Only has to be for an hour. Just enough time to establish if mutual attraction is there and I feel fine in his company.
Arrange a play date very soon afterwards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chat for a while first, then move on to Kik and ask for a pic taken from the Kik camera, and then always meet at a club or a public place even if I have every intention of taking them back to mine after. Hubby always knows where I'm going and who with, and 9 times out of 10 he'll be in the house when I get back (with or without my meet). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I chat for a while first, then move on to Kik and ask for a pic taken from the Kik camera, and then always meet at a club or a public place even if I have every intention of taking them back to mine after. Hubby always knows where I'm going and who with, and 9 times out of 10 he'll be in the house when I get back (with or without my meet)."
Yeh we've spoke on kik and sent photos but I'm still a bit dubious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes none at all, just chat on here, kik and occasionally WhatsApp and then met them, usually at their house and usually I didn’t tell a soul where I was going, not the best move but I was a bit ‘lost’ back then. I wish I could go back and see me and shake me and say ‘ali you are being an idiot’.
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "
I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?
It's a bit like the following up interview |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?
It's a bit like the following up interview "
I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?
It's a bit like the following up interview
I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it. "
But if he was in his fireman's uniform eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always meet for a drink in a public place first (which is only fair for the person we're meeting as we don't have face pics)
We have a totally separate 'Fab' phone.
I always have my wife holding my hand. 
We have been known to turn up with our dog  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always a social in a public place, I have met someone before without but never again.
I have had so many guys moan about wanting a social first though, one even called it wasted fucking time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always chat on phone, then meet together, in public place, social meet and if right take from there. Still risks, but at least have that back up of if not sure during social time, don't proceed.. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?
It's a bit like the following up interview
I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it.
But if he was in his fireman's uniform eh? "
 |
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually notify the Coastguard Air Sea Rescue the RLNI and Mountain rescue...
Wonder if I'm over reacting.
Wanders back down the beach into the man cave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "
You can always have more than one social. Anyone who's serious should understand that. I prefer to chat for a while, even before a social, just to see if we click, but then I'm looking for someone regular, not just a one off. |
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
You can always have more than one social. Anyone who's serious should understand that. I prefer to chat for a while, even before a social, just to see if we click, but then I'm looking for someone regular, not just a one off."
This sounds like dating. Not swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club."
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials "
Of course, but that's the same in many areas of life, not just swinging..trust your instincts... |
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials "
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative  |
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"I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape.
Don't the spikes ruin your lampshades?"
Yes but I don't mind the patchy shabby chic look. It's very popular on my eBay shop at the moment.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Of course, but that's the same in many areas of life, not just swinging..trust your instincts..."
I do yes hence no need of a social
I've normally been talking for ages, (and ages and ages) first though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape."
I'll remember not to meet you in a forest then or an overgrown garden |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative "
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone always knows I'm having a meet or date depending on the situation. I don't really like socials as hate pubs and don't drink. But it depends on the other person. I always send pics on kik/whatsapp through the camera so the other person can see I'm genuine but I don't insist they do the same. Always make sure we chat for awhile on kik or WhatsApp and always makes sure there's no pressure for sex when we meet. It's mostly common sense without being too cautious. I have had bad, dangerous dates but only really positive meets. So I guess whatever I'm doing it's the right thing for me. |
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either...."
For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....
For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me."
Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I practice doing eye pokes on my teddy before a meet and wear my running shoes.
Seriously though, chatting and meeting well verified people seems to be pretty sensible. And there's always gut instinct! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....
For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.
Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"
I would say as a single you will always be more vulnerable then a couple.
As a lot have said you need to chat a lot on here to get the feeling of the person....and after that I would say if comfortable with it move to telephone conversations. ..that's not for all I know for privacy reasons. But it works for me and you can always buy a £10-£20 disposable phone so your not giving your primary number out.
But at the end of the day nothing is 100% certain you won't get a dodgy fecker  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a NEW thing getting rolled out nationally " ask for angella " it's for people creeper out and need to get lost quick out the back door.
You heard it here folks.... Ask for Angela !! |
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....
For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.
Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"
To an extent yes. It's partly an instinct thing, partly how they interact with me as a woman and partly the physical attraction. There's a great deal you can tell about someone from non verbal communication and from answers that they have no time to consider as they would if they were messaging.
Go on all you like I'm happy to discuss it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.
We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.
I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).
There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials
Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.
I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative
I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going
to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....
For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.
Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"
More vulnerable by where you are going for meets, or by what you are prepared to do? Either way, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it probably isn't right for you.. |
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