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Things not to say when you're cumming

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

1. There she blows

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Boom goes the dynamite

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Who are you?

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By *hat the hellCouple over a year ago

Down South

Catch that lol

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By *akingTheClungeMan over a year ago

Havant

I forgot the rubber.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Back of the net" (Alan Partridge)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey Macarena.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Oh gosh, I think I've just arrived.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love you. .......

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

In best yoda voice

"The force is strong in this one"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Go go gadget sperm!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“Just drop me on the corner mate, keep the change”

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love you mommy

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By *icole FanningTV/TS over a year ago

Navan

Uhhhh 3 seconds .... that’s my record.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's for dinner darling.

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By *rGuyMan over a year ago

Croydon

Aaaaaavvvvvvveeeeee iiiitttt!!!!

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By *appy squirrelWoman over a year ago

Norwich

"In best yoda voice

"The force is strong in this one""

I think if someone would say that he would risk watersports with me...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nigel Mansell.

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By *rGuyMan over a year ago

Croydon

It burns

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fancy a cuppa tea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It burns"

Let’s get married

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My pop tarts ready

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Right..that's me finished. Would you make me a brew now please?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Coronation streets on now where's my glasses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right..that's me finished. Would you make me a brew now please?"

Here some coffee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it green with red stripes

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By *icole FanningTV/TS over a year ago

Navan

"“Just drop me on the corner mate, keep the change”"

Ha haa haaa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you"

You're welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh no I think the condoms split!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your ex's name

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By *ertsDrewMan over a year ago

Hitchin

Your sister-in-law's name.

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By *aughtyLittleMissWoman over a year ago

Aberdeen

Gooooooooaaaaaaal!

Seriously, I've had this once lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Gooooooooaaaaaaal!

Seriously, I've had this once lol"

Back of the net!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here it cums

Are you ready!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Home goal!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

brace yerself this could get messy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Night then.....

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By *ertsDrewMan over a year ago

Hitchin

That reminds me I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Was it good for you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where do you keep the dettol?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ooops . sorry i useally go a lot longer than that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My wife's so much better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jai Hoooooooooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm Alan.

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By *ookMan over a year ago

london

5 4 3 2 ....1 thunderbirds are go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can go now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/18 07:16:28]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lmao, I’ve got to try that one. Hahaha"
don't do it you'll never see her again

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By *ihimbiherCouple over a year ago

lightwater

Don’t tell the vet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Catch that lol "

Lmao, might have to try that one for the comedy value. Hahaha

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By *neoclockgunMan over a year ago

London

Jumaaanjiiiiiii!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shall I wipe it on the curtains luv?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gotta go sorry got an urgent appointment at the sexual health clinic want to come with me for support

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By *acktar74Man over a year ago

leeds

Mummy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

5...4...3...2...oneeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my God I'm good.

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

“My balls are about to fizz”

... shamelessly stolen from ‘Toast’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Already!?

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By *tjohnspairCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"Your sister-in-law's name."

Or your cousins name....unless you’re from Arkansas or Norfolk.....in which case it will be fine!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't forget my veri, will you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your ex girlfriends name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please don't phone the Police ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't forget my veri, will you?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look !! No closer ! That one's doing the backstroke !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

phew thats a relief, your sister made me cum quicker than that last time

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By *inell1Man over a year ago

Ipswich

Yeeeee haaaaa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow, with your face youve done well to make me cum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" yeah whatever babycakes, just dont name it after me ok ?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not what you say, it's farting as you ejaculate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" right ..thats me done, cya next week then dad , yeah ?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any line from the dr seuss book " there was a hesitation before your ejaculation, so please, I'd like an explanation "

Possibly..

" but i was gonna cum, all over your bum, but noticed your mouth so i decided no to South "

Wordiness can ruin any climax

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's me done night.

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By *lymanMan over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

You got a sister ?

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Your last meets name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fly my prettys fly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’re about to make a great single mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m ovulating!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suppose that was ok.....ish

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Aaaannnddd it's a new world record...beat that Usain Bolt!!

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

Your own name

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By *iscean MaleMan over a year ago

Darlaston

About time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I win!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh shiiittttttt.

Actually someone said that to me. Didn't know how to take that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Baanannna (Minions style)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Next!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang"

That’s my theme tune

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck me daddy....

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By *akingTheClungeMan over a year ago

Havant

"Fuck me daddy....

Hot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oops

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By *icole FanningTV/TS over a year ago

Navan

If you’re uncomfortable with that - then sit somewhere else on the bus

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's your name again?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

‘Now’...believe it or not I’ve had that, every fucking time he was cumming he would go ‘now’....oh really! He didn’t even go ‘NOW!’ It was all quiet and ‘now’ I’m hushed tones, talk about passion killer!

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You better get dressed now, the wife will be home soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

4 1/2 out of 10, could do better!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Excuse me, which isle can I find the cleanex in please?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I have aids

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

You'll get free NHS treatment - tell the clinic it was me and they can skip testing, giving you the full package of drugs.

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By *owieladMan over a year ago

Headingly

I’m oooops

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By *i fem huntersCouple over a year ago

london

Is it in????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your sister is tighter.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Free protein supplement

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By *r n Mrs NaughtyCouple over a year ago

eccles

"Love you mommy"

Hahaha proppa made us lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Bisto

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swim babies Swim!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's no prizes for Cumming second

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"‘Now’...believe it or not I’ve had that, every fucking time he was cumming he would go ‘now’....oh really! He didn’t even go ‘NOW!’ It was all quiet and ‘now’ I’m hushed tones, talk about passion killer!

Geeky x"

I would like to add... it was the ex husband lol

Ads

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By *appyguy17Man over a year ago

walthamstow

"feckin women"...........are you "are you cumming or what"........we'll be late !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Zzzzzzzzzzzz!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry

While sobbing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OUT TROOPS!

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

You put your left leg in, your left leg out.

Oh the hokey kokey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone else's name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's how it's done!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't have look like your sister from this angle

Yes I have done that I have the injuries to prove it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shit I forgot to put the chicken in the oven

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By *xtrafun4youMan over a year ago

Dunstable

I better go before your husband comes home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Data transfer complete!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The train is arriving at Paddington station

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your husbands tighter!

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By *G LanaTV/TS over a year ago

Gosport

At the third stoke the time will be ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How much was that again?

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By *ranfondoMan over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Here cums the baby batter....

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By *rjpinkMan over a year ago

winterfell

What do you think of the pedestrianisation of norwich city centre?

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

I’m not being funny, but do you ever dust?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Sign this form, 'I stole XX's sperm, in order to become pregnant'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

‘You are welcome’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yippee kyaye mother fucker

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By *olexMan over a year ago

Hull

Get out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've only just started....

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By *eterbeebeeMan over a year ago

Derby

As one leading sperm said to the following millions " Back lads, we're in the shit" !

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By *ig TennentsMan over a year ago

Ayrshire

Do you want a flake with that

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By *arcus Welby MDMan over a year ago

Southport

Hope you're not HIV+ as I don't want to catch that again, took me ages to get rid of it last time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please play dead, one Ted Bundy’s favourites.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *ajorwetMan over a year ago

poole

You’re going to have to finish yourself off! Goodnight

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

I’m ovulating! What’s your name again?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't worry, it's always that colour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m ovulating! What’s your name again?

Congratulations the test is positive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haven't felt that good since fucking your sister!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For the Emperor!"

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

[Removed by poster at 12/03/18 18:38:10]

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

How do you like your coffee with or with out cream x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you like your coffee with or with out cream x"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think the condom broke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Weapon fires ok, weapon fires ok, weapon fails to fire......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’re about to make a great single mum "

That’s bad!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

By the power of greyskull I am The power

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How thick do you like the baby gravy??

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By *ojos party boyMan over a year ago

Merseyside

shit myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“SHOT”

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By *ittle earsMan over a year ago

south oxfordshire

They think it’s all over.......it is now!

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple over a year ago

High Wycombe

Ex husband/wifes name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jumanji!

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By *udistnorthantsMan over a year ago

Desborough

"Bang! And the dirt has gone"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You are a bug chaser, right?

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By *oneeMan over a year ago

bath

Call out you ex wife's name as you cum

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By *allyandJonCouple over a year ago

manchester

Don't stop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's who shot JR

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

In best witches voice.

"Fly my beauties fly"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Better out than in hey donkey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It wasn’t this good with your gran

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Four star or unleaded?

Or my personal favourite.

Aaaaaannddd there you go!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bulls eye!

Good game, good game

I win!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your wife’s name (when you’re not with your wife)

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Oh gosh, I think I've just arrived. "

Nothing wrong with that....my playmate and I spell “cum” “come”....

That is one of the reasons there is a massive mutual attraction...finding someone who is on the same level and class as oneself....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh are you in?

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"Your wife’s name (when you’re not with your wife)

Or your girlfriends name when you are with the wife.

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

They think it's all over........ it is now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh are you in?"

you're easily pleased!

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By *estofbothCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Fly my pretty’s

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Scooby dooby do lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yabba Dabba Doooooooooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Scooby dooby do lol

You inspired my above quote

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your sister never makes me cum that quick

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