FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up.
If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet? |
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Wow!! What an attitude!
While when we meet others there is a decent chance we will have sex, especially after all the flirting leading up to a meet but there’s nothing on both sides to say you can’t change your mind at any point to say, actually I don’t want to, and yes it’s happened on both sides |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I’ve met someone socially and beforehand thought this is just a formality. Next time I meet will be for play. On meeting I’ve felt no connection and we left it at that. And I’ve had that the opposite way round too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve spoken to people for a while got on great and lots of flirty talk. Met for a social and zilch chemistry. I’ve been honest with them there and then and luckily they have all acted like a gentleman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had someone run down the stairs clutching his clothes after seeing me naked. Nothing is a done deal until the deal is done.
"
You’re a scary woman Lickety |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I have. I arrived at his and he looked nothing like his photos. I don't like being deceived so I turned around and walked straight back to my car.
I make the effort, I wear stockings etc, I drive and at my cost. So I was really annoyed to say the least.
If it were the other way round and I looked nothing like my photos, I'm sure he wouldn't of liked it.
This weekend I've been let down. So you guys, it's not just women who are timewasters.
I won't meet for sex first. Socials for the first meet is essential for me. If mutual attraction is there, we meet again . If the guy doesn't like it, tough! Plenty more guys on here to meet instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have. I arrived at his and he looked nothing like his photos. I don't like being deceived so I turned around and walked straight back to my car.
I make the effort, I wear stockings etc, I drive and at my cost. So I was really annoyed to say the least.
If it were the other way round and I looked nothing like my photos, I'm sure he wouldn't of liked it.
This weekend I've been let down. So you guys, it's not just women who are timewasters.
I won't meet for sex first. Socials for the first meet is essential for me. If mutual attraction is there, we meet again . If the guy doesn't like it, tough! Plenty more guys on here to meet instead."
Yeah I get a bad reaction when they find out I’m not black and white  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've had someone run down the stairs clutching his clothes after seeing me naked. Nothing is a done deal until the deal is done.
You’re a scary woman Lickety "
You're not the first to say so. 
He said, "You've got a nice face but I just can't go there" as he looked at my naked flesh and natural quim.
That was Easter, eight years ago, when I had just started having sex again after a very long period of celibacy. It was a rocky start. It's looking like it might be an equally rocky finish.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had someone run down the stairs clutching his clothes after seeing me naked. Nothing is a done deal until the deal is done.
You’re a scary woman Lickety
You're not the first to say so.
He said, "You've got a nice face but I just can't go there" as he looked at my naked flesh and natural quim.
That was Easter, eight years ago, when I had just started having sex again after a very long period of celibacy. It was a rocky start. It's looking like it might be an equally rocky finish.
"
Love on the rocks eh? Looking fiorward to a bit of that I’m April  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh wow! What a complete tool! Hahaha. Did he really think you'd agree to that??
Nope, I've never known 100%, I want sex before meeting someone. "
Oh I can think of an exception for me to that rule  |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I’ve spoken to people for a while got on great and lots of flirty talk. Met for a social and zilch chemistry. I’ve been honest with them there and then and luckily they have all acted like a gentleman "
This is why I tend not to "chat for a while". I have absolutely no idea if I'm going to fancy someone until I meet them in the flesh, and so I tend to establish a social meeting early on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh wow! What a complete tool! Hahaha. Did he really think you'd agree to that??
Nope, I've never known 100%, I want sex before meeting someone.
Oh I can think of an exception for me to that rule "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve spoken to people for a while got on great and lots of flirty talk. Met for a social and zilch chemistry. I’ve been honest with them there and then and luckily they have all acted like a gentleman
This is why I tend not to "chat for a while". I have absolutely no idea if I'm going to fancy someone until I meet them in the flesh, and so I tend to establish a social meeting early on. "
Chatting for a while is such a waste of time.
If you don’t fancy them in the flesh you’ve wasted all that time chatting for nothing.
Chat, meet, decide within a week. |
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
One can’t be sure until right up until the moment. One can back out at any time if it’s not what they want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never gone into a meet with the expectation of sex. Hell, I've been in bed with someone, quite sure that I wanted full sex and then changed my mind. The person in question didn't even expect sex even when I said I wanted it. |
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I've been sure that it would be 100% fine - until they changed the situation. Or was it that a key turned in a lock inside my head, that meant it was a no go now? All access denied.
If someone wants a guarantee then be sure to add caveats or just say no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve spoken to people for a while got on great and lots of flirty talk. Met for a social and zilch chemistry. I’ve been honest with them there and then and luckily they have all acted like a gentleman
This is why I tend not to "chat for a while". I have absolutely no idea if I'm going to fancy someone until I meet them in the flesh, and so I tend to establish a social meeting early on.
Chatting for a while is such a waste of time.
If you don’t fancy them in the flesh you’ve wasted all that time chatting for nothing.
Chat, meet, decide within a week."
yes and no. I’ve chatted to people a while,met them and there’s no attraction but made great friends so it’s still a winning situation in my eyes. But I do understand what you mean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!"
Why would you do that??? I thought you must be some young woman after reading that... but seriously? 39??? You really need to reconsider if meeting online is for you. That really isn't right. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!"
I did that when I first started. I didn't do socials at all and just arranged to meet and have sex. After a fair bit of bad sex and an equal amount of fantastic sex I decided to have socials first.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!"
You shouldn't feel ashamed... all your guilty of is being too nice, people could take advantage of that as you know. Who's feelngs are worth more? Theirs or your own xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At least he/she was honest and up front, leaving you with the option to cut or run. Personally I see no problem here - the other party was honest about their wishes / desires / intentions and you had the whip hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
Nothing is a given, in fact expecting it dulls the anticipation of the moment.
The joys of fab.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I tell men I prefer to meet at clubs so that we can have a social and there is a potential, all being well, of play at that meet. Most won't do that because they won't go to a club and/or don't want to pay for a club. Yet the cost of an hotel room would be about the same and drinks/dinner beforehand more.
My view is that if you can't agree terms then it's not the meet for you. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OK let's imagine for a minute you'd offered such a guarantee OP (not that I can think of any reason anyone would ever offer a cast iron guarantee - even those here saying they have good judgement etc can't KNOW 100% that sex will happen until they've actually met the person), anyway, if you'd offered that guarantee what did he evisage would happen if you reneged? 
It's a ridiculous notion whichever way you look at it!! |
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"I've had someone run down the stairs clutching his clothes after seeing me naked. Nothing is a done deal until the deal is done.
You’re a scary woman Lickety
You're not the first to say so.
He said, "You've got a nice face but I just can't go there" as he looked at my naked flesh and natural quim.
That was Easter, eight years ago, when I had just started having sex again after a very long period of celibacy. It was a rocky start. It's looking like it might be an equally rocky finish.
"
That is absolutely awful. Excuse my language but what a fucking arsehole he was! You're a stronger woman than I am, I'd have left the site never to return if someone said that to me. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!
You shouldn't feel ashamed... all your guilty of is being too nice, people could take advantage of that as you know. Who's feelngs are worth more? Theirs or your own xx"
Thank you so much (and Lickety), for those kind, positive messages. You sound like lovely people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!
You shouldn't feel ashamed... all your guilty of is being too nice, people could take advantage of that as you know. Who's feelngs are worth more? Theirs or your own xx
Thank you so much (and Lickety), for those kind, positive messages. You sound like lovely people!"
Your pictures show you set a high standard of yourself, expect others to match it move on. 
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've had someone run down the stairs clutching his clothes after seeing me naked. Nothing is a done deal until the deal is done.
You’re a scary woman Lickety
You're not the first to say so.
He said, "You've got a nice face but I just can't go there" as he looked at my naked flesh and natural quim.
That was Easter, eight years ago, when I had just started having sex again after a very long period of celibacy. It was a rocky start. It's looking like it might be an equally rocky finish.
That is absolutely awful. Excuse my language but what a fucking arsehole he was! You're a stronger woman than I am, I'd have left the site never to return if someone said that to me. Xx"
This was before I knew about Fab. I really didn't know about this world and started meeting people from the interweb after 14 years of celibacy. I was learning and it seemed (and still does) perfectly reasonable for someone to escape rather than go somewhere they didn't want to. It is in no way the worst thing that has happened to me.
I met a swinger around the same time, had a relationship with him and he put us on here. When we split I came back as a single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes I've met up after a fair bit of flirting etc and not been attracted. it's also happened to me. it's never caused an issue on either occassion. Even joked about it over a nice meal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I haven't but only because I'm such a slow mover and take forever before I actually meet someone so by then I've got to know them inside out and the are no surprises. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always sure I want sex otherwise I wouldn't be meeting them... and I've never changed my mind. I guess I'm good at the pre meet stuff "
You’re lucky you know from virtual chatting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know how you can possibly know!?
It doesn't matter how many messages you exchange, the other person will never be how you imagined, so you need to start again anyway...
Was he particularly young? He sounds a bit immature really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I haven't but only because I'm such a slow mover and take forever before I actually meet someone so by then I've got to know them inside out and the are no surprises."
Same as me. I usually go straight to sex after talking a lot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"3 in a row with lick in their usernames... is this a clique?
No a Clicka lick click
I need to change my username name
Again?  "
Yep. I'm already getting itchy feet about this one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"3 in a row with lick in their usernames... is this a clique?
No a Clicka lick click
I need to change my username name
Again? "
Am I really that bad then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"3 in a row with lick in their usernames... is this a clique?
No a Clicka lick click
I need to change my username name
Again?
Am I really that bad then? "
I’m just getting used to your current one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"3 in a row with lick in their usernames... is this a clique?
No a Clicka lick click
I need to change my username name
My lick is not oral or rude.
"
Nobody is suggesting it is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At least he/she was honest and up front, leaving you with the option to cut or run. Personally I see no problem here - the other party was honest about their wishes / desires / intentions and you had the whip hand."
Well, rest assured that I did indeed remain polite in accepting their cancellation when I could not give them the certainty of sex on first meet / first date. They were of course allowed to change their mind on only meeting up for a 'social meet'.
The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always sure I want sex otherwise I wouldn't be meeting them... and I've never changed my mind. I guess I'm good at the pre meet stuff
You’re lucky you know from virtual chatting.
"
Yes. I know. The more I read on here the more I realise that I am different. I don't understand how others can't do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always sure I want sex otherwise I wouldn't be meeting them... and I've never changed my mind. I guess I'm good at the pre meet stuff
You’re lucky you know from virtual chatting.
Yes. I know. The more I read on here the more I realise that I am different. I don't understand how others can't do it. "
It works for me too. |
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"
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
I've never been sure before meeting someone from here if I would actually want to get physical once we met. I've just known it was a possibility. I've known it was more of a possibility with some rather than others, but there is always the possibility of something putting me off, so I could never say it was a sure thing. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?"
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always sure I want sex otherwise I wouldn't be meeting them... and I've never changed my mind. I guess I'm good at the pre meet stuff
You’re lucky you know from virtual chatting.
Yes. I know. The more I read on here the more I realise that I am different. I don't understand how others can't do it. "
It always worked for me but I’m now seriously out of practice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"...
anyway, if you'd offered that guarantee what did he evisage would happen if you reneged?
It's a ridiculous notion whichever way you look at it!"
I'd say!
I thought their logic was a bit flawed, hence, why I also wanted to hear other people's opinion on here.
So, thanks for that" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple "
Not 100% sure no.... But in 7 years I've never been wrong... so I'd say near as damn it. I trust all the research I do put in. I know the sort of person I'm chatting to...I kinda know they aren't going to have personal hygiene issues. I don't know how I know but I do seem to. I have honestly never been wrong about someone. No bullshit here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Should have agreed
Told him your stockinged up and horny as fuck
Then not turned up
Purely to learn him some manners "
Funny! 
Or should have sent someone else instead of me!  |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple
Not 100% sure no.... But in 7 years I've never been wrong... so I'd say near as damn it. I trust all the research I do put in. I know the sort of person I'm chatting to...I kinda know they aren't going to have personal hygiene issues. I don't know how I know but I do seem to. I have honestly never been wrong about someone. No bullshit here. "
I have agreed to meet someone in a hotel for sex on the first meet more than once and never regretted it yet. I trust my own judgement. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple
Not 100% sure no.... But in 7 years I've never been wrong... so I'd say near as damn it. I trust all the research I do put in. I know the sort of person I'm chatting to...I kinda know they aren't going to have personal hygiene issues. I don't know how I know but I do seem to. I have honestly never been wrong about someone. No bullshit here. "
The first four words of that are the key though still
I agree there's a lot you can do to have a high level of confidence about any meet, I do exactly the same and whilst my time on the site/number of meets is limited, my instincts haven't yet been wrong either - but the OPs question was around offering guarantees (i.e. 100% certainty) and that you can't do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple
Not 100% sure no.... But in 7 years I've never been wrong... so I'd say near as damn it. I trust all the research I do put in. I know the sort of person I'm chatting to...I kinda know they aren't going to have personal hygiene issues. I don't know how I know but I do seem to. I have honestly never been wrong about someone. No bullshit here.
The first four words of that are the key though still
I agree there's a lot you can do to have a high level of confidence about any meet, I do exactly the same and whilst my time on the site/number of meets is limited, my instincts haven't yet been wrong either - but the OPs question was around offering guarantees (i.e. 100% certainty) and that you can't do "
Ah but the op's question was "have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
And my answer is no. I've never changed my mind. I'd happily guarantee that the next person I meet we'll have sex. That's how sure i am in my abilities to pick people. I have to say that nothing is 100% foolproof because I'm sure there must be someone out there who can out smart me. I just haven't met them yet. |
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A couple occasions where I've had doubts about an attraction in that way but inevitably ended up liking them in other ways. Never really see the point in judging someone, I would always meet people first, but assumptions do happen on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Only one thing guaranteed on a meet with me... that I turn up!
Oh and the pics are genuine, recent and not fake... unlike quite a big % of the male pics on here.
If someone wants guaranteed sex, then visit a brothel... this is a SWINGERS site... not fuckmenow.com
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I've had a little to smoke, basically... everyone has their quirks, but for whatever reason you arrange a meet, it's clear in most cases there's some level of understanding made prior as to whether it's social or sex.
Just plan your meets accordingly I suppose... feel free to message me for more randon shit xD |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The question still remains though: How could they be so sure they wouldn't change their mind about wanting to have sex with me?
The truth of the matter is they couldn't be 100% sure - no-one can - while you can get a feel for someone's personality etc via messaging and even talking on the phone etc., there are many factors that are unknown until you actually meet someone - for example they may have extremely bad BO - there's no way you can know something like that without meeting.
So anyone that says they're 100% sure they'll want sex with someone they've never met in the flesh is BS'ing plain and simple
Not 100% sure no.... But in 7 years I've never been wrong... so I'd say near as damn it. I trust all the research I do put in. I know the sort of person I'm chatting to...I kinda know they aren't going to have personal hygiene issues. I don't know how I know but I do seem to. I have honestly never been wrong about someone. No bullshit here.
The first four words of that are the key though still
I agree there's a lot you can do to have a high level of confidence about any meet, I do exactly the same and whilst my time on the site/number of meets is limited, my instincts haven't yet been wrong either - but the OPs question was around offering guarantees (i.e. 100% certainty) and that you can't do
Ah but the op's question was "have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
And my answer is no. I've never changed my mind. I'd happily guarantee that the next person I meet we'll have sex. That's how sure i am in my abilities to pick people. I have to say that nothing is 100% foolproof because I'm sure there must be someone out there who can out smart me. I just haven't met them yet. "
"Nothing is 100% foolproof" being the key words in that - only a fool would think otherwise.
And the ONLY reason you can answer no to the OPs question is luck (albeit based on as much judgement as is possible without actually meeting someone). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone asked me to guarantee sex before I’d met them I would categorically guarantee them one thing - I won’t be turning up! Defo dodger a bullet OP "
This. Jesus - there are some arseholes on Fab unfortunately. |
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)"
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word) |
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)"
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset."
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for. |
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for. "
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
you say that in jest but literally some guys will have sex with anything if their dicks hard and theirs a hole nothing is safe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve spoken to people for a while got on great and lots of flirty talk. Met for a social and zilch chemistry. I’ve been honest with them there and then and luckily they have all acted like a gentleman
This is why I tend not to "chat for a while". I have absolutely no idea if I'm going to fancy someone until I meet them in the flesh, and so I tend to establish a social meeting early on. "
This for me too.
OP, if he'd said that to me I would have cancelled. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
Yes, it's your prerogative to change your mind.
Sounds as if the meet had a quite high sense of entitlement to us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)"
This is indeed a very interesting discussion. As well as for the "he said, she said". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
By the way, very, very similar scenario happened to me quite a few years ago with a work colleague.
We got on really well, eventually both were single, and we texted flirtatiously, and it eventually came up that we could go on a date outside work.
However, before we actually made it to meet outside work the flirty texts, not sexting, took a turn. In a round about way he asked me that if we were to go out for a drink then of course we would also end up 'sleeping together'. Now, he did not know, at that point, that I do not drink alcohol. Hence, this was part of why my alarm bells rang back then.
But also because, when I expressed hesitation toward expecting to have sex FOR SURE, I got a text reply saying, but isn't that being a cheat? Again, a very flawed logic that I found quite scary. "We go out, I buy you alcohol, you WILL sleep with me"
I just let it fade out and we never went out outside work. |
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"Yes I’ve met someone socially and beforehand thought this is just a formality. Next time I meet will be for play. On meeting I’ve felt no connection and we left it at that. And I’ve had that the opposite way round too."
Exactly the same for me!! Play only happens if there’s chemistry. Sometimes it’s not there when you expect it to be & other times it’s there with someone you didn’t think you would connect with!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd have said to the guy, look mate in 7 years on here I've probably met close to 400 guys socially, out of those I've only wanted to have sex with 5 so I ain't guaranteeing fuck all until I've met you in the flesh. |
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I haven't read all the replies but here's my answer to your 'rhetorical' question.
I'm always sure that i'll have sex when I go to meet someone or I wouldn't meet them. HOWEVERRRRRRRR there have been times when I haven't had sex once meeting them. I've never been knocked back on a meeting. I've politely declined them. I assume that it's because i'm a woman that i'm not declined. I KNOW it's down to my vetting methods that I only go to meet if im sure i want sex with the person.
Finally, I see NO wrong whatsover in the terms he put forward. What he didn't realise that it's impossible for people to 'guarantee' sex.
They can only 'guarantee' their intention. |
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"I’ve had that terrible, sinking feeling of dismay whenever I’ve met someone after chatting online. All except once.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been brave enough to back out and hurt their feelings, so I’ve ended up hating and cheapening myself.
How shameful is it to have to admit to that!?
Socials: A WISE idea!"
Shameful ? No. Brave , insightful, seeing your own learning journey: deciding what's not right for you and finding a way forward.
That's how all learning happens regardless of age. Good on you for sharing. It's very good food for thought for others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"P.S. I've read a couple of responses calling the bloke out. Why ?
He was upfront. He's only coming out for sex not for a maybe.
He laid all his cards on the table. Good on him. "
I think it depends on the interaction, which only the two people know.
If I'd said I will meet for a social only, and he totally turned it around and asked if sex was guaranteed then I wouldn't meet as we're not compatible. Lots of people meet straight off for sex and that's fine. It's just not what I want. Neither of us is wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different."
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different. |
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different. "
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all. "
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all.
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. "
I only enter into a meet with a binding contract and indemnity insurance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all.
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. I only enter into a meet with a binding contract and indemnity insurance "
Don't forget to sign it too |
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I've never changed my mind if it got far enough to meet.
Had a woman turn up for a mmf threesome, and decided she wasn't interested after all.
The three of us had a lovely social chat.
But sex is never guaranteed.
I'm sure most people have seen the tea and consent video. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all.
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. I only enter into a meet with a binding contract and indemnity insurance
Don't forget to sign it too "
her bum ok on the dotted line |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?"
That is fuckin horrendous. That gives us fellas a bad name. What a prick.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all.
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. I only enter into a meet with a binding contract and indemnity insurance
Don't forget to sign it too her bum ok on the dotted line "
If it's tattooed on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can't guarantee we have sex I won't meet up with you tonight.
No, that really happened.
I'd sent my number, as it's an easy way to show I'm genuine, if so to say. We'd agreed on place and time. In checking up on the day if it was still okay to meet, this was the 'check-up' I got in return. Could I not guarantee that we would have sex on the same night then the date was not going to take place.
Inevitably, this leads me to the rhetorical question: Guys (well, any gender), have you ever been sure about wanting to have sex before a 'meet' but then changed your mind once you met the couple or the woman in real life, off the internet?
The problem with that message is if you said yes to the guarantee then changed your mind and the person decides that you are having sex anyway then if it was a matter for courts etc your reply of a guarantee would be used against you. (my personal viewpoint)
Anyone has the right to refuse even up to the point of putting a condom on and half an inch away from penetration... even then they can say stop!
Ignorance to this will get the person some for sexual misconduct (not allowed to post the other word)
I agree with what you say but taking this to the worst possible scenario and let's say it went in front of 12 people all it takes is some of those people to think well person A said yes to person B therefore person A literally gave consent,I know a person can say NO at any time and this is proper and without recrimination to most people but all it takes is someone to have a different mindset.
That could be any given assault situation though. Someone always runs the risk of not being believed in a 'he said, she said' scenario though. Someone can be having sex and change their mind. I'm also guessing, if a guy decided to take what he wanted, because a woman agreed, then changed her mind, there would be some physical trauma from the resistance. Thas what examinations are for.
The point I am making is if the OP replied saying that she would 100% have sex with the person then it all went tits up and her reply were to be used in evidence the "he said she said" scenario becomes very different.
Given the advances of online meets... even the tamer social networking ones, this is the same anywhere. Sexting could also be used in evidence. It's a new era, so not really that different.
What I am saying is if the OP said yes 100% in writing but something happened to change her mind yet the other person still went ahead against her wishes it would harm her case to have the yes reply used against her. It then comes down to he said she said and all it takes is for one person to think "well she said yes so perhaps she is just being regretful now" has happened before where women told a lie after the fact after all.
If they were to see those messages, they would also see that they had never met that person before, despite saying yes. Someone has the right to change their mind. It could be argued that the person had every intention of having sex, when they were messaging back and forth. But the physical attraction was not there, when they actually met in person. I think the fact that they had not met, before the agreement, would be the biggest factor. A written yes is not a binding contract, so has to be fulfilled if they do meet up.... I think most would understand that. I only enter into a meet with a binding contract and indemnity insurance
Don't forget to sign it too her bum ok on the dotted line
If it's tattooed on "
ooopooo not into tatts but if they provide a pen ok I'll do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would never meet someone with that attitude, because the level of entitlement would concern me too much. If I met him and changed my mind about sex, would he turn aggressive? I don't think it's unreasonable to think that he might.
If I meet someone, I am about 90-95% sure that sex is going to happen but there are still reasons I would turn someone down: if they didn't look like their pictures, if there was no sexual chemistry, if they made me feel uncomfortable, if they made a fuss about using a condom, if they had poor hygiene... and I'm not going to feel bad about that. |
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