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Why do people get married?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because some people quite like it. Crazy notion, hey?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 22:22:09]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality. "

All than for next of kin?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?"

or lace tablecloths and cutlery

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dunno. I didn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All than for next of kin? "

As far as I know. Maybe a token of love too, I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?"

Now that would be an excellent reason. I never have any tea towels

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep, the free stuff..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was a bet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 22:25:58]

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"It was a bet"

You fucker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To honour and obey lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It was a bet

You fucker

Yup, regular as clockwork

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

Geeky x"

Yeah you do x

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If I had my time over again I would get married but I wouldn't get married again.

I'm an advocate of marriage because I know how it can be when it's successful my parents are coming up to 63 years and we're coming up to 30. I'm not very good at articulating this but to me a marriage is separate from the people in it and serves as a focus for their relationship.

When a partner dies or needs consent forms signed a legal claim to being their next of kin makes things much easier.

I'm not sure why it's seen as outdated when so many people are still doing it. I do think that a civil partnership should be available to everyone though.

All the time it remains voluntary I can't see a reason to abolish it.

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Maybe you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together or it seemed a good idea at the time as you were in 'love'.

It's up to the people in question I guess.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I got married first I wanted to have his name and show the world I was committed to him and loved him. And I was traditional in thinking that it was the way it was done. Now I’m not sure me or mr want that again. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got married for the day and the dress. Nothing really changed between me and him apart from my last name it’s just a legality and piece of paper really.

My parents divorced when I was a kid I guess my idea of marriage is warped.

Anyway I’m seeing John now and happy...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also I don't disagree with marriage but I think people have stupid reasons for doing so... for example, I know someone who got married so his wife could move over here from another country, only four years later they've both agreed that they shouldn't have gotten married and neither are really happy together but they're stuck now. Another couple who are my age married last July to legitimise their five children then split up around three months later!

If I ever get married I want it to be for love and that we can't be without each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like being married, had a great party at our wedding. Spent 10 minutes of the day on legal stuff to correctly satisfy the tax man.

I think the civil partnership was a faf to the religious to keep gay marriage away from the church. Now that hurdle is crossed just convert all existing partnerships to marriage and reclaim marriage as the legal taxation status it really was before the church hijacked it cos only clergy could write.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I did it for love but found out later was never in love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s a great party

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

The wise lady

Granny crumpet are you married?

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By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

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By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

A friend of mine at her marriage was quite d*unk when someone mentioned she gave a speech!

She said no way! I am too d*unk and do not want to do it!

Eventually, she gave in and resentfully gave her speech....

''Thanks for coming! I hope I do!''

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 23:48:10]

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Because they are fucking stupid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because they are fucking stupid "

Not necessarily, I was in love, I wanted the big celebration

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't.

The wise lady

Granny crumpet are you married? "

I was. Then one of us left the planet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because they are fucking stupid "

Nah, more delusional and idealistic!

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

And your the expert who feels he can preach because...?

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

All than for next of kin? "

In English?

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

It makes more sense from a legal point of view, it shouldn't be that way, but it is. We just did it for love..

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"Maybe you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together or it seemed a good idea at the time as you were in 'love'.

It's up to the people in question I guess."

Nah! You gotta listen to the judgemental preaching of people who either never got married or were so shit they couldn't make it work.

It's the Fab law.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All than for next of kin?

In English?"

Reads okay to me! Not sure but I'd still make a will leaving whatever to wife But make reference to the son in it so as not to leave potential loop hole for the son's lawyers to exploit.

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By *llfoursWoman over a year ago

north east

Waste of money anyways, but as a lot of people like to point out. I’m 24, what do I know..

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

All than for next of kin?

In English?

Reads okay to me! Not sure but I'd still make a will leaving whatever to wife But make reference to the son in it so as not to leave potential loop hole for the son's lawyers to exploit."

So true, Doc, can be a nasty business when someone dies, without clear instructions.

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Waste of money anyways, but as a lot of people like to point out. I’m 24, what do I know..

Don't knock it til you try it

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Because they are fucking stupid "

Yeah a lot of people say that. If it's not what you want to do, don't do it.

I did and I'm happy that I made that decision, it works for me.

If thats how you define stupid fair enough.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

What flaws does marriage have?

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have? "

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants."

Quite right, it's the flawed people in some marriages that cause the problem

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

Quite right, it's the flawed people in some marriages that cause the problem

I freely admit to being flawed

I don't think anybody would claim that being married is always easy or the only way to maintain a long relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

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By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

All than for next of kin? "

What do you mean by "all that"? Getting married isn't difficult and being someone's next of kin can be vitally important in some situations, so it's well worth filling in some forms and saying "I do"

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

I'm sure they do! Marriage has only been about love relatively recently it was often for convenience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

I'm sure they do! Marriage has only been about love relatively recently it was often for convenience."

E.g Members of royal families across Europe were wedded to each other to strengthen ties, peace, safety, predictability, networking, as well as for strategic and political insights- Wikipedia

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never saw the point in it, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Her and that was enough for me.

Her had dreamed about her big day since she was a kid, so initially I proposed as relationships are about compromise after all.

Her was 21 and I was 26, we had been together for 4 years at that point and are celebrating our 10 year anniversary in April this year.

My view on marriage has changed and I'm proud that we have stuck it out thus far despite the hard times that most would have thrown in the towel and I'm proud to call Her my wife.

But I still believe it's an old fashioned tradition, that isn't necessary to prove a couples love. It's just a tradition, a lot like having a child christened, the majority of people don't do it because they are practicing Christians.

And after all, everyone loves a good pissup at the reception

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did he say why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did he say why? "

Who?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It was a bet"

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

I think marriage is ok but you have to anticipate and prepare for the divorce incase it happens from the start.

Swinging is a very good recreational activity that helps in mental development as regards sexual matters. As a swinger you understand that people can change anytime as regards matters regarding love and swinging with multiple partners helps you prepare for it mentally.

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

I was never really that fussed about marriage. However at 16 and pregnant with him suggesting it, at the time it seemed the sensible thing to do.

It was f

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

I was never really that fussed about marriage. However at 16 and pregnant with him suggesting it, at the time it seemed the sensible thing to do.

It was far from the fairy tale. No dress and I cried the whole way through it. I knew I didn't want to. I knew I didn't love him.

I'm divorced now. And I would do it again. However I'd have to be very much in love. It would have to feel right. I wouldn't want some grand expensive do. However I do know in my head how I'd like it to go. I do pass dress shops and look longingly at the gowns in the Windows. Mostly though I'd want to know absolutely that the person watching me walk towards him loved me as much as I love him.

Sadly I don't think that person is out there for me. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Where will you find "hot wives" if they ban marriage?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did he say why?

Who?"

The Tory MP i’m guessing.

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

"....one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage?"

Why not just ban Tories- then the rest of us normal and sensible people won't have to listen to the shite they keep spouting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some will marry, as it provides more protection such as more pension rights if your spouse passes away. Also, inheritance can be less complex. Maybe they see it as having more permanence too.

More rights as the non resident parent, if you split, from the point of view of joint parental responsibility.

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By *eothelionMan over a year ago

chester

The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

But getting over by criticism i think that everyone should be entitled to a civil partnership. Marriage is too outdated.

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By *lymanMan over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 07:44:49]

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By *lymanMan over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

It works for some im guessing as there are loads of happily married people out there and not worked for others for various reasons its a choice i dont see it as outdated ...just an option

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Today with the throw away society.

People seem to think the same about relationships.

Been together 33 years and bored for all of them (NOT).

No commitment today.

You have to work together, it's all about honesty and communication.

M and M

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By *is vixen at playCouple over a year ago

Dundee

I have been married, and while it never worked out as planned I don't regret it for a second, it helped shape me into who I am today and also gave me 2 amazing kids. Still on good terms with my ex and am now happy again largely down to meeting V (on here) who has played a huge part in that. I'm now looking forward instead of back. Nothing wrong with marriage and works for many. Every couples choice. G

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't talk too many people out if it, it'll put me out of work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

... "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Married my wife because I loved her and wanted to end my days with her, sadly an illness took her from me, I still consider us married,

miss her so much.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Married my wife because I loved her and wanted to end my days with her, sadly an illness took her from me, I still consider us married,

miss her so much."

Sad story mate

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:18:34]

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:21:35]

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:24:03]

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

But getting over by criticism i think that everyone should be entitled to a civil partnership. Marriage is too outdated. "

The cost of a wedding is £46, same as a civil partnership. Any other expenditure is on a party.

The names of husband and wife, husband and husband or wife and wife, are much nicer than 'civil partner'.

And the intention to stay together for a lifetime, is because you are hopeful that you have found one person who you love enough to make that promise to.

Nothing out dated about marriage at all, in fact it is essentially the same as civil partner, but gas more history and actually a few more rights because it is recognised internationally and has centuries of defining case law to back it up.

It isn't broke, so why fix it? Especially if that fix is not as good?

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By *ish you were here!Couple over a year ago

Kidderminster...ish!

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:47:15]

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

I think traditions are good and needed which is obvious by them sticking around so long. It's people when traditions don't fit into their lives they then don't want them. People don't want marriage because they don't want commitment to one person. I myself would get married but it has to be monogamous forever and most people don't want that so they can't have me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wedding cake is yummy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wedding cake is yummy

Ads mum liked it so much she did it three times, she found her lobster on her third try lol.

Geeky x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it

Snap. Nothing came into it except love for me and being shit scared to suggest to my dad that i wanted to live with my boyfriend.

It's later in life that I learned about marriage simply being a contract.

I no longer view relationships as legal or not but simply as how the couple look after each other and shoulder life together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wedding cake is yummy

Ads mum liked it so much she did it three times, she found her lobster on her third try lol.

Geeky x"

I need to find lobster as well

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By *rimson_RoseWoman over a year ago

Tamworth

As someone who is currently extricating myself, I'm struggling to see why!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

Respect ,loyalty ,trusted friend .I'm a bit sceptical as i don't think people can be trusted these days .I find most men are love rats and will fuck anyone .so best stay single

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day"

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

yes indeed, why not

im my case we both wanted to get married, I was happy and honoured to call her my wife and still do.

I believe it helps when medical issues are involved too, I know it was easier to explain when in hospital that I was her husband

its up to each individual I guess, no rights or wrongs, but for myself, I am so glad I married the girl I loved, still do love her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

It's a sign of commitment to others and, as said previously, initially a celebration of two people and their feelings, how is that not a wonderful thing?

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By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 11:24:29]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day"

Love lol forget it, I don't agree anything like that exists, most of the relationships and marriages have been turned into long term contracts.

If it was really love the way you are saying, why don't the majority of parties walk away empty handed in the divorces if there is wealth to share? Anyone who takes this kind of option to walk away with nothing is the one who really loved their partner.

I love swinging because it's real to me, it's a mental training field. You can be banging a lady in the club and she will be moaning with excitement but the moment she steps out of the room with you, she can start kissing the next guy by the door, now I love that because that is real.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People get married because they are in love which means ones soul true recognition in an other.......... or some is after a passport or wants an amazing stag doo in Las Vegas!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Geeky x"

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

As I live with my partner he is now entitled to half my stuff. It's my house, my money. He runs his business from my home but is struggling so I've been covering everything for 18 months. Allegedly that makes him a dependent.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't. "

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs"

Me too.

I liked saying husband. At 57 I feel odd saying boyfriend especially as my daughters all have husbands.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Geeky x

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!"

Your husband you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i learnt how to cook wash and iron instead of getting married

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs

Me too.

I liked saying husband. At 57 I feel odd saying boyfriend especially as my daughters all have husbands. "

What a great competition lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

This is why I don’t understand why people want to bother with CP’s. If they were the same as marriage, gay couples wouldn’t have continued fighting for it after CP’s came in.

Why choose something that isn’t as beneficial?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship? "

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants."

The problem as you rightly say isn't with the institution of marriage but it's with those in it. There is a inerrant selfishness we a have... (the lawyer comments above from doc about grabbing reflects how we are as people)

Those whose marriages have worked in general are those who have put their 'self' second to the other one.

There's a reason why marriage has lasted the test of time over 1000s of years. It's about community, responsibility and protect amongst other things. This idea that marriage doesn't work comes in generational cycles and is in the past reflective of a break down in society and values and predates the church so wasn't something the church clerics started as someone suggested earlier. When society becomes focused on the individual marriages tent to break down as do other forms of society. Then they realise we can't live as islands and we are social beings and needs love to function in a more holistic way (one of pavlovs 7 needs).

Many can give opinions about something but unless one has tasted it one doesn't really know. Some have tasted a soured version and dislike the taste others have tate that sweet version and want more.

I'd marry again without any hesitation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ornLordMan over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

There's no such thing as civil partnership for hetero couples - so like most tory MPs they're speaking out of their nether regions.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Today with the throw away society.

People seem to think the same about relationships.

Been together 33 years and bored for all of them (NOT).

No commitment today.

You have to work together, it's all about honesty and communication.

M and M"

Our son died and our grief pulled us apart.

With hindsight I'd have handled things differently, speak to him, tell him how much I hurt instead of compartimentalising my grief and resenting his raw grief.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question

it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

Those whose marriages have worked in general are those who have put their 'self' second to the other one.

Many can give opinions about something but unless one has tasted it one doesn't really know. Some have tasted a soured version and dislike the taste others have tate that sweet version and want more.

I'd marry again without any hesitation.

A real marriage starts after the ceremony and 2 years of honeymoon period

All people in favour of marriage contract are basing their argument on emotions and not reality.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i think its like 40 to 50 % of marriages end in divorce , if thats true its just a gamble isnt it ...

when you think about it the vicar tells you to lie

he tells you to say love honour and cherish til death us do part bla bla bla

how can anyone even know that let alone promise it .

my advice , just live together .....

10,15,20 grand to get married , just to get a load of guests fed and watered and watch you in church for half hour ....

buy a gar or have a month in barbados or similar, buy a new kitchen or bathroom ,landscape the garden ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward. "

There will be a time when you stop and think oh wait what am I getting lol then boom

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Same for me.