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Why do people get married?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford

Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because some people quite like it. Crazy notion, hey?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 22:22:09]

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality. "

All than for next of kin?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?"

or lace tablecloths and cutlery

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dunno. I didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

All than for next of kin? "

As far as I know. Maybe a token of love too, I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because you want a lifetime supply of teatowels?"

Now that would be an excellent reason. I never have any tea towels

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep, the free stuff..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It was a bet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 22:25:58]

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...


"It was a bet"

You fucker

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

To honour and obey lol x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It was a bet

You fucker "

Yup, regular as clockwork

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x"

Yeah you do x

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If I had my time over again I would get married but I wouldn't get married again.

I'm an advocate of marriage because I know how it can be when it's successful my parents are coming up to 63 years and we're coming up to 30. I'm not very good at articulating this but to me a marriage is separate from the people in it and serves as a focus for their relationship.

When a partner dies or needs consent forms signed a legal claim to being their next of kin makes things much easier.

I'm not sure why it's seen as outdated when so many people are still doing it. I do think that a civil partnership should be available to everyone though.

All the time it remains voluntary I can't see a reason to abolish it.

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By *uxom redCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Maybe you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together or it seemed a good idea at the time as you were in 'love'.

It's up to the people in question I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I got married first I wanted to have his name and show the world I was committed to him and loved him. And I was traditional in thinking that it was the way it was done. Now I’m not sure me or mr want that again. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I got married for the day and the dress. Nothing really changed between me and him apart from my last name it’s just a legality and piece of paper really.

My parents divorced when I was a kid I guess my idea of marriage is warped.

Anyway I’m seeing John now and happy...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Also I don't disagree with marriage but I think people have stupid reasons for doing so... for example, I know someone who got married so his wife could move over here from another country, only four years later they've both agreed that they shouldn't have gotten married and neither are really happy together but they're stuck now. Another couple who are my age married last July to legitimise their five children then split up around three months later!

If I ever get married I want it to be for love and that we can't be without each other.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like being married, had a great party at our wedding. Spent 10 minutes of the day on legal stuff to correctly satisfy the tax man.

I think the civil partnership was a faf to the religious to keep gay marriage away from the church. Now that hurdle is crossed just convert all existing partnerships to marriage and reclaim marriage as the legal taxation status it really was before the church hijacked it cos only clergy could write.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I did it for love but found out later was never in love

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s a great party

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

The wise lady

Granny crumpet are you married?

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By *eliz NelsonMan  over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

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By *eliz NelsonMan  over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

A friend of mine at her marriage was quite d*unk when someone mentioned she gave a speech!

She said no way! I am too d*unk and do not want to do it!

Eventually, she gave in and resentfully gave her speech....

''Thanks for coming! I hope I do!''

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

King's Crustacean

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 23:48:10]

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...

Because they are fucking stupid

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because they are fucking stupid "

Not necessarily, I was in love, I wanted the big celebration

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't.

The wise lady

Granny crumpet are you married? "

I was. Then one of us left the planet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because they are fucking stupid "

Nah, more delusional and idealistic!

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple  over a year ago

South Wales


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

And your the expert who feels he can preach because...?

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple  over a year ago

South Wales


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

All than for next of kin? "

In English?

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

It makes more sense from a legal point of view, it shouldn't be that way, but it is. We just did it for love..

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple  over a year ago

South Wales


"Maybe you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together or it seemed a good idea at the time as you were in 'love'.

It's up to the people in question I guess."

Nah! You gotta listen to the judgemental preaching of people who either never got married or were so shit they couldn't make it work.

It's the Fab law.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

All than for next of kin?

In English?"

Reads okay to me! Not sure but I'd still make a will leaving whatever to wife But make reference to the son in it so as not to leave potential loop hole for the son's lawyers to exploit.

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By *llfoursWoman  over a year ago

north east

Waste of money anyways, but as a lot of people like to point out. I’m 24, what do I know..

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

All than for next of kin?

In English?

Reads okay to me! Not sure but I'd still make a will leaving whatever to wife But make reference to the son in it so as not to leave potential loop hole for the son's lawyers to exploit."

So true, Doc, can be a nasty business when someone dies, without clear instructions.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Waste of money anyways, but as a lot of people like to point out. I’m 24, what do I know.. "

Don't knock it til you try it

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Because they are fucking stupid "

Yeah a lot of people say that. If it's not what you want to do, don't do it.

I did and I'm happy that I made that decision, it works for me.

If thats how you define stupid fair enough.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

What flaws does marriage have?

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have? "

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone "

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants."

Quite right, it's the flawed people in some marriages that cause the problem

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

Quite right, it's the flawed people in some marriages that cause the problem "

I freely admit to being flawed

I don't think anybody would claim that being married is always easy or the only way to maintain a long relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

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By *inky SpiceWoman  over a year ago

Glasgow


"My mum married my stepdad after being together for 21 years as my stepdad's estranged from his son and he's legally my stepdad's next of kin, so now they're married my mum's his next of kin instead. Just a legality.

All than for next of kin? "

What do you mean by "all that"? Getting married isn't difficult and being someone's next of kin can be vitally important in some situations, so it's well worth filling in some forms and saying "I do"

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

"

I'm sure they do! Marriage has only been about love relatively recently it was often for convenience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t quote me ok but I think Some people get married for financial reasons. And also for stability.

Being in a common law partnwrship doesn’t give same rights as married couples. Kids, housing, mortgage etc, credit.!

In terms of business , A business owner may opt to transfer his business to his wife’s name for a variety of reasons, such as retirement, asset protection or the desire to start a new company.

I'm sure they do! Marriage has only been about love relatively recently it was often for convenience."

E.g Members of royal families across Europe were wedded to each other to strengthen ties, peace, safety, predictability, networking, as well as for strategic and political insights- Wikipedia

X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I never saw the point in it, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Her and that was enough for me.

Her had dreamed about her big day since she was a kid, so initially I proposed as relationships are about compromise after all.

Her was 21 and I was 26, we had been together for 4 years at that point and are celebrating our 10 year anniversary in April this year.

My view on marriage has changed and I'm proud that we have stuck it out thus far despite the hard times that most would have thrown in the towel and I'm proud to call Her my wife.

But I still believe it's an old fashioned tradition, that isn't necessary to prove a couples love. It's just a tradition, a lot like having a child christened, the majority of people don't do it because they are practicing Christians.

And after all, everyone loves a good pissup at the reception

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Did he say why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Did he say why? "

Who?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It was a bet"

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

I think marriage is ok but you have to anticipate and prepare for the divorce incase it happens from the start.

Swinging is a very good recreational activity that helps in mental development as regards sexual matters. As a swinger you understand that people can change anytime as regards matters regarding love and swinging with multiple partners helps you prepare for it mentally.

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By *yldstyleWoman  over a year ago

A world of my own

I was never really that fussed about marriage. However at 16 and pregnant with him suggesting it, at the time it seemed the sensible thing to do.

It was f

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By *yldstyleWoman  over a year ago

A world of my own

I was never really that fussed about marriage. However at 16 and pregnant with him suggesting it, at the time it seemed the sensible thing to do.

It was far from the fairy tale. No dress and I cried the whole way through it. I knew I didn't want to. I knew I didn't love him.

I'm divorced now. And I would do it again. However I'd have to be very much in love. It would have to feel right. I wouldn't want some grand expensive do. However I do know in my head how I'd like it to go. I do pass dress shops and look longingly at the gowns in the Windows. Mostly though I'd want to know absolutely that the person watching me walk towards him loved me as much as I love him.

Sadly I don't think that person is out there for me. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Where will you find "hot wives" if they ban marriage?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Did he say why?

Who?"

The Tory MP i’m guessing.

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By *elvet RopeMan  over a year ago

by the big field


"....one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage?"

Why not just ban Tories- then the rest of us normal and sensible people won't have to listen to the shite they keep spouting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some will marry, as it provides more protection such as more pension rights if your spouse passes away. Also, inheritance can be less complex. Maybe they see it as having more permanence too.

More rights as the non resident parent, if you split, from the point of view of joint parental responsibility.

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By *eothelionMan  over a year ago

chester

The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

But getting over by criticism i think that everyone should be entitled to a civil partnership. Marriage is too outdated.

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By *lymanMan  over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 07:44:49]

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By *lymanMan  over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

It works for some im guessing as there are loads of happily married people out there and not worked for others for various reasons its a choice i dont see it as outdated ...just an option

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester

Today with the throw away society.

People seem to think the same about relationships.

Been together 33 years and bored for all of them (NOT).

No commitment today.

You have to work together, it's all about honesty and communication.

M and M

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By *is vixen at playCouple  over a year ago

Dundee

I have been married, and while it never worked out as planned I don't regret it for a second, it helped shape me into who I am today and also gave me 2 amazing kids. Still on good terms with my ex and am now happy again largely down to meeting V (on here) who has played a huge part in that. I'm now looking forward instead of back. Nothing wrong with marriage and works for many. Every couples choice. G

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't talk too many people out if it, it'll put me out of work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

... "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

Married my wife because I loved her and wanted to end my days with her, sadly an illness took her from me, I still consider us married,

miss her so much.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Married my wife because I loved her and wanted to end my days with her, sadly an illness took her from me, I still consider us married,

miss her so much."

Sad story mate

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:18:34]

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:21:35]

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:24:03]

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The reason my people get married???

To waste 1000s £ on one day in the hope it will sustain them through a boring relationship.

But getting over by criticism i think that everyone should be entitled to a civil partnership. Marriage is too outdated. "

The cost of a wedding is £46, same as a civil partnership. Any other expenditure is on a party.

The names of husband and wife, husband and husband or wife and wife, are much nicer than 'civil partner'.

And the intention to stay together for a lifetime, is because you are hopeful that you have found one person who you love enough to make that promise to.

Nothing out dated about marriage at all, in fact it is essentially the same as civil partner, but gas more history and actually a few more rights because it is recognised internationally and has centuries of defining case law to back it up.

It isn't broke, so why fix it? Especially if that fix is not as good?

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By *ish you were here!Couple  over a year ago

Kidderminster...ish!

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 09:47:15]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

"

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ungBlackTopMan  over a year ago

salford

I think traditions are good and needed which is obvious by them sticking around so long. It's people when traditions don't fit into their lives they then don't want them. People don't want marriage because they don't want commitment to one person. I myself would get married but it has to be monogamous forever and most people don't want that so they can't have me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wedding cake is yummy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wedding cake is yummy "

Ads mum liked it so much she did it three times, she found her lobster on her third try lol.

Geeky x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it "

Snap. Nothing came into it except love for me and being shit scared to suggest to my dad that i wanted to live with my boyfriend.

It's later in life that I learned about marriage simply being a contract.

I no longer view relationships as legal or not but simply as how the couple look after each other and shoulder life together.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wedding cake is yummy

Ads mum liked it so much she did it three times, she found her lobster on her third try lol.

Geeky x"

I need to find lobster as well

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By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth

As someone who is currently extricating myself, I'm struggling to see why!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be."

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

Respect ,loyalty ,trusted friend .I'm a bit sceptical as i don't think people can be trusted these days .I find most men are love rats and will fuck anyone .so best stay single

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day"

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

yes indeed, why not

im my case we both wanted to get married, I was happy and honoured to call her my wife and still do.

I believe it helps when medical issues are involved too, I know it was easier to explain when in hospital that I was her husband

its up to each individual I guess, no rights or wrongs, but for myself, I am so glad I married the girl I loved, still do love her

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

It's a sign of commitment to others and, as said previously, initially a celebration of two people and their feelings, how is that not a wonderful thing?

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 11:24:29]

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day"

Love lol forget it, I don't agree anything like that exists, most of the relationships and marriages have been turned into long term contracts.

If it was really love the way you are saying, why don't the majority of parties walk away empty handed in the divorces if there is wealth to share? Anyone who takes this kind of option to walk away with nothing is the one who really loved their partner.

I love swinging because it's real to me, it's a mental training field. You can be banging a lady in the club and she will be moaning with excitement but the moment she steps out of the room with you, she can start kissing the next guy by the door, now I love that because that is real.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together "

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People get married because they are in love which means ones soul true recognition in an other.......... or some is after a passport or wants an amazing stag doo in Las Vegas!

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x"

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

As I live with my partner he is now entitled to half my stuff. It's my house, my money. He runs his business from my home but is struggling so I've been covering everything for 18 months. Allegedly that makes him a dependent.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship. "

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't. "

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs"

Me too.

I liked saying husband. At 57 I feel odd saying boyfriend especially as my daughters all have husbands.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

As I live with my partner he is now entitled to half my stuff. It's my house, my money. He runs his business from my home but is struggling so I've been covering everything for 18 months. Allegedly that makes him a dependent.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!"

Your husband you mean?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i learnt how to cook wash and iron instead of getting married

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I like the tradition of marriage. Works for me. But then I like old traditions. But I also prefer the word ‘husband’ to ‘other half’ or ‘partner.

Mrs

Me too.

I liked saying husband. At 57 I feel odd saying boyfriend especially as my daughters all have husbands. "

What a great competition lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise."

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking"

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *orticiaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

Because marriage brings certain legal protection / rights that civil relationships don't."

This is why I don’t understand why people want to bother with CP’s. If they were the same as marriage, gay couples wouldn’t have continued fighting for it after CP’s came in.

Why choose something that isn’t as beneficial?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship? "

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants."

The problem as you rightly say isn't with the institution of marriage but it's with those in it. There is a inerrant selfishness we a have... (the lawyer comments above from doc about grabbing reflects how we are as people)

Those whose marriages have worked in general are those who have put their 'self' second to the other one.

There's a reason why marriage has lasted the test of time over 1000s of years. It's about community, responsibility and protect amongst other things. This idea that marriage doesn't work comes in generational cycles and is in the past reflective of a break down in society and values and predates the church so wasn't something the church clerics started as someone suggested earlier. When society becomes focused on the individual marriages tent to break down as do other forms of society. Then they realise we can't live as islands and we are social beings and needs love to function in a more holistic way (one of pavlovs 7 needs).

Many can give opinions about something but unless one has tasted it one doesn't really know. Some have tasted a soured version and dislike the taste others have tate that sweet version and want more.

I'd marry again without any hesitation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ornLordMan  over a year ago

Wiltshire and London


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

There's no such thing as civil partnership for hetero couples - so like most tory MPs they're speaking out of their nether regions.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

"

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Today with the throw away society.

People seem to think the same about relationships.

Been together 33 years and bored for all of them (NOT).

No commitment today.

You have to work together, it's all about honesty and communication.

M and M"

Our son died and our grief pulled us apart.

With hindsight I'd have handled things differently, speak to him, tell him how much I hurt instead of compartimentalising my grief and resenting his raw grief.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

"

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws

What flaws does marriage have?

Yes, interesting question it works for us, but not for everyone

I don't think marriage as an institution has flaws as such. It is what it is, if it doesn't suit your purpose don't enter in to it, there's no need to from a social point of view nowadays.

The people in a marriage might have flaws though.

It suits us too but we accept that its not what everyone wants.

The problem as you rightly say isn't with the institution of marriage but it's with those in it. There is a inerrant selfishness we a have... (the lawyer comments above from doc about grabbing reflects how we are as people)

Those whose marriages have worked in general are those who have put their 'self' second to the other one.

There's a reason why marriage has lasted the test of time over 1000s of years. It's about community, responsibility and protect amongst other things. This idea that marriage doesn't work comes in generational cycles and is in the past reflective of a break down in society and values and predates the church so wasn't something the church clerics started as someone suggested earlier. When society becomes focused on the individual marriages tent to break down as do other forms of society. Then they realise we can't live as islands and we are social beings and needs love to function in a more holistic way (one of pavlovs 7 needs).

Many can give opinions about something but unless one has tasted it one doesn't really know. Some have tasted a soured version and dislike the taste others have tate that sweet version and want more.

I'd marry again without any hesitation.

"

A real marriage starts after the ceremony and 2 years of honeymoon period

All people in favour of marriage contract are basing their argument on emotions and not reality.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i think its like 40 to 50 % of marriages end in divorce , if thats true its just a gamble isnt it ...

when you think about it the vicar tells you to lie

he tells you to say love honour and cherish til death us do part bla bla bla

how can anyone even know that let alone promise it .

my advice , just live together .....

10,15,20 grand to get married , just to get a load of guests fed and watered and watch you in church for half hour ....

buy a gar or have a month in barbados or similar, buy a new kitchen or bathroom ,landscape the garden ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward. "

There will be a time when you stop and think oh wait what am I getting lol then boom

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it "

Same for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts.. "

Yeah but I have companionship, respect and several partners with the ladies I see, maybe not everyday but I don't think married couples fuck daily so why do I need a legal contract to achieve that lol

Infact I think I am more intimate with my swinging partners than some of my friends are with their wives lol

I would consider it if I will not stay in the same house with my would be wife and there is a prenup lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"i’m quite surprised at some of the comments in this thread, i married because i love her, wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and wanted to celebrate it with all our friends and family. tax benefits never even came into it

Same for me."

When did you find out you love her?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking"

I guess I will never know fully if my wife loved me but I truly believe she did

If I could have taken her place I would have, am a broken shell without her and that's 4 years that have past now.

part of the reason im on here, I can never love again and not fair to start a new relationship as I would always compare. I still need sex, but my love stays with my wife.

If there is a god, we eventually meet again, I have never been religious but when you lose someone, you start to believe, you also blame

I do hope most find love on here, and seeing the smile on your brides face is priceless, a memory for ever.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

For me. Love.

That's all.

Cal

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts..

Yeah but I have companionship, respect and several partners with the ladies I see, maybe not everyday but I don't think married couples fuck daily so why do I need a legal contract to achieve that lol

Infact I think I am more intimate with my swinging partners than some of my friends are with their wives lol

I would consider it if I will not stay in the same house with my would be wife and there is a prenup lol"

You second paragraph is on the point!

Your third paragraph lol why not just pay somebody that’s what a prenup will do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

As I live with my partner he is now entitled to half my stuff. It's my house, my money. He runs his business from my home but is struggling so I've been covering everything for 18 months. Allegedly that makes him a dependent.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!

Your husband you mean? "

£400 to end a 23 year marriage to the father of my children.

Currently, unless I pay hundreds to safeguard my assets my partner of four years is entitled to hundreds of thousands.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

I guess I will never know fully if my wife loved me but I truly believe she did

If I could have taken her place I would have, am a broken shell without her and that's 4 years that have past now.

part of the reason im on here, I can never love again and not fair to start a new relationship as I would always compare. I still need sex, but my love stays with my wife.

If there is a god, we eventually meet again, I have never been religious but when you lose someone, you start to believe, you also blame

I do hope most find love on here, and seeing the smile on your brides face is priceless, a memory for ever."

You are unusual mate.. I hope you have lots of sex and a big smile.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Because it is an extra commitment, not saying those that don’t aren’t committed at all here but for some being married is there way of showing that they love that person so much they want to be legally attached to them.

After my first marriage ended I promised myself I would never get married again but finding Ads and finding that missing piece, my absolute other half I found myself just wanting that extra commitment (which considering the arsehole of an ex was a complete wanker at the time you think marriage would be the last thing I want to do again!), when he asked me and I said yes it felt so natural to become his wife, not just girlfriend or fiancé but in 8 short weeks he is going to be my husband, we are going to wear our matching rings, I’m going to have his name and I can’t wait. Before he asked me though I made a decision that regardless if we never married I would legally change my name and we would have matching rings so yes it’s just a piece of paper but one that feels very special to us.

Geeky x

Congratulations to you both.

You've summed up why I got married and will marry again.

As an aside: those that live together be aware the laws have changed.

I've had four grandsons in quick succession so decided to update my will.

As I live with my partner he is now entitled to half my stuff. It's my house, my money. He runs his business from my home but is struggling so I've been covering everything for 18 months. Allegedly that makes him a dependent.

My children aren't dependents but a biological stranger is. It's going to cost a small fortune to ensure my kids are protected.

It cost me less than £400 to end a 23 year marriage to their father!

Your husband you mean?

£400 to end a 23 year marriage to the father of my children.

Currently, unless I pay hundreds to safeguard my assets my partner of four years is entitled to hundreds of thousands. "

So how is it only £400 when he’s entitled to half of everything?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *pl4moreCouple  over a year ago

oldham

All I can say is wow, I am truly shocked at the responses. I married my wife as we are so much in love. Every day since our marriage has gotten stronger and stronger and neither of us could bare to be apart. She is my sole mate and vice versa. I didn't realise that this was such a rarity these days. It appears that people see marriage as a thing they should do, and are marrying for the wrong reasons (through peer pressures etc). Anyway we, as a couple couldn't be happier and was the best thing we did.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There was a time I would have gotten married, just almost as a token to cement the relationship and prove a commitment to each other. It wouldn't have been a lavish affair. It never quite happened but through the trials and tribulations of life that commitment had been cemented anyway and proven so I don't really feel it's needed anymore for me.

The safety aspects of marriage in terms of law and your rights seem less important to me. That wouldn't be enough to convince me I needed to be married, you can still own property together etc

It would be seen as a romantic gesture now if I did I think.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts..

Yeah but I have companionship, respect and several partners with the ladies I see, maybe not everyday but I don't think married couples fuck daily so why do I need a legal contract to achieve that lol

Infact I think I am more intimate with my swinging partners than some of my friends are with their wives lol

I would consider it if I will not stay in the same house with my would be wife and there is a prenup lol

You second paragraph is on the point!

Your third paragraph lol why not just pay somebody that’s what a prenup will do. "

I do not support the payment of ladies for sex because it is not the same, when a lady really likes you it is a better feeling, when you pay her it's a trick.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"All I can say is wow, I am truly shocked at the responses. I married my wife as we are so much in love. Every day since our marriage has gotten stronger and stronger and neither of us could bare to be apart. She is my sole mate and vice versa. I didn't realise that this was such a rarity these days. It appears that people see marriage as a thing they should do, and are marrying for the wrong reasons (through peer pressures etc). Anyway we, as a couple couldn't be happier and was the best thing we did."

Very nicely put, how did you know she’s your soul mate? Do you both like same flavour Doritos?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters.. "

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward.

There will be a time when you stop and think oh wait what am I getting lol then boom "

Yep if you're thetype looking for what you can get out of it then it will fail. Boom.

It's not about what you can get out but about what you bring to the other person and to the marriage. Unless you're willing to make that your priority which becomes the epitome of true love then no it won't work for you with that approach or the other person entering it with you. Harsh reality but true.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"There was a time I would have gotten married, just almost as a token to cement the relationship and prove a commitment to each other. It wouldn't have been a lavish affair. It never quite happened but through the trials and tribulations of life that commitment had been cemented anyway and proven so I don't really feel it's needed anymore for me.

The safety aspects of marriage in terms of law and your rights seem less important to me. That wouldn't be enough to convince me I needed to be married, you can still own property together etc

It would be seen as a romantic gesture now if I did I think.

"

Specially if one party owns it and gets married the other one hits a lottery

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

I more or less know your opinions on relationships and because of that I don't think you would gain anything from being in one. That's fine, not everyone is suited to that way of living and I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade you otherwise.

I want you to debunk my opinion and debate me honestly and logically. There are a lot of very intelligent and successful ladies on fabs, who have achieved a lot of great things in life.

I want a honest debate ,no emotions, just straight fact, infact I throw this challenge open to all the ladies.

What does a decent man stand to gain from being in a relationship?

We are debating marriage contract.. a decent man gains companionship and a partner from relationship as long as it lasts..

Yeah but I have companionship, respect and several partners with the ladies I see, maybe not everyday but I don't think married couples fuck daily so why do I need a legal contract to achieve that lol

Infact I think I am more intimate with my swinging partners than some of my friends are with their wives lol

I would consider it if I will not stay in the same house with my would be wife and there is a prenup lol

You second paragraph is on the point!

Your third paragraph lol why not just pay somebody that’s what a prenup will do.

I do not support the payment of ladies for sex because it is not the same, when a lady really likes you it is a better feeling, when you pay her it's a trick."

Don’t you think You are paying one way or another? See the trick

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ish you were here!Couple  over a year ago

Kidderminster...ish!

You have to be married to swap wives .....we're happily wed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it. "

Exactly this.

Everyone has their own reasons for getting married or not.

Nobody here would insist that someone who wants to get married doesn't or visa versa.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it. "

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

"

I answered your question and I'm a woman.

I said I thought that you would have nothing to gain from being in a relationship but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm.. "

My husband or wife points them out to me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

True love is about giving. Not to be confused with affection,passion, emotion etc etc. Love is primarily a choice, an action giving to someone else without expectation for reward.

There will be a time when you stop and think oh wait what am I getting lol then boom

Yep if you're thetype looking for what you can get out of it then it will fail. Boom.

It's not about what you can get out but about what you bring to the other person and to the marriage. Unless you're willing to make that your priority which becomes the epitome of true love then no it won't work for you with that approach or the other person entering it with you. Harsh reality but true.

"

You are from a different planet

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm..

My husband or wife points them out to me "

Haha.. that’s great for swinging couples but do you get my point?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

"

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm..

My husband or wife points them out to me

Haha.. that’s great for swinging couples but do you get my point? "

That comes down to security and confidence in yourself and each other. Everyone looks at others we wouldn't be human if we didn't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life. "

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm..

My husband or wife points them out to me

Haha.. that’s great for swinging couples but do you get my point?

That comes down to security and confidence in yourself and each other. Everyone looks at others we wouldn't be human if we didn't. "

Exactly, and only until one persons says that if I want that one now.. don’t want my husband or wife anymore.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married? "

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm.. "

Dont think you're actually that interested in others opinions by your comments... its more putting out your cynicism about the concept of marriage. Maybe listen more to those who have had the experience, good and bad.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *pl4moreCouple  over a year ago

oldham


"All I can say is wow, I am truly shocked at the responses. I married my wife as we are so much in love. Every day since our marriage has gotten stronger and stronger and neither of us could bare to be apart. She is my sole mate and vice versa. I didn't realise that this was such a rarity these days. It appears that people see marriage as a thing they should do, and are marrying for the wrong reasons (through peer pressures etc). Anyway we, as a couple couldn't be happier and was the best thing we did.

Very nicely put, how did you know she’s your soul mate? Do you both like same flavour Doritos? "

Funny you say that we do like the same flavour Doritos lol. We knew we were meant to be as we clicked instantly when we first met. We like the same things, we at times (when we were self employed) spent 24/7 in each other's company but still had loads of time to have fun, long talks etc. Even now, many years later nothing has changed for any of us and we still do loads of things together as a couple. Like I said I think it maybe a rarity these days but no matter what gets thrown at us we get through it together and we are stronger then ever.

We do find it funny, as both friends and family, for many years keep thinking what we have is not real and that we are putting some show on, but that's just the way we are.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to "

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked a group of ladies on the forum, what would I gain if I went into a relationship? and they were silent. They could not say anything, they could not answer the question directly .

When I was growing up I noticed something I did not understand at the time, some of the men who were very successful never stayed in the same house with their wife, they would put their wife and kids in a separate house from where they stayed. In the house where these

men stayed, they employed a cook, cleaner, driver, gardener etc but the mrs did not stay in this house. I did not understand why a guy would do this. I asked some ladies and they said these men were sluts etc

Now I understand what these men were doing . It is not easy to be in a relationship or marriage with the ladies. If you decide to go the relationship route or marriage route as a guy, go in with your head straight and your thinking cap on always.Protect yourself at all times.

Probably the ladies stayed quiet because nobody can tell an individual what they can gain from a relationship. the dynamic of each relationship is different and depends very much on the attitude,personality and opinions of the people in it. I suspect that you would enter a relationship with very different expectations to mine so I couldn't possibly tell you what your gain from being in one would be.

Yeah but when I look at it logically, it looks like the ladies have everything to gain from being in a relationship with a decent man.

I don't really see what the man has to gain, I notice that every time people see that diamond ring on a ladies finger, her salutation changes to "hello Madam" lol

Even the ladies would agree that they are treated with more respect by society when they are in a relationship or marriage.

I cannot keep to one lady so I fear a serious relationship will not work niether can any lady on the forum tell me what I stand to gain as a man by going into a relationship.

James

one day you will hopefully find love

when that day happens, all your thoughts on this thread will go out the window, all you will want to do is be with that special someone

being in love is the greatest feeling in the World, a thing to be treasured with marriage.

hope you find it one day

You are correct love is a great feeling, love is when two people are attracted to each other unconditionally and that’s great because life is Better with company

BUT

Why marriage? Just love each other live together

Sometimes its because they want to go on a posh holiday with gazillions of bridesmaids and lovely photos.

Sometimes its because they feel they have to.

Sometimes (and this is the case with us)

it's because we love each other.

Its true that marriage isn't a requirement nowadays its more a choice. Some choose it, some don't.

I don’t understand when people say we love each other.. do you mean you are attracted to each other and care about each other? Because you want to stay together? Maybe because you think you can not find anybody better? How do you know the other person loves you or to them you are just good looking

It starts with being attracted to and caring about each other. If you're lucky and willing to put the graft in it progresses to a deep, peaceful regard for each other that is nothing like the romantic love you read about in novels.

Some people confuse love with possesion, people with low self esteem or in abusive relationships think they can't find anyone better, you know the other person loves you by their actions.

Until they get bored and start banging somebody else for starters..

Yeah. That happens to some people.

I'm not here to defend marriage its obvious it doesn't work for everyone. But if it works for some I don't see a problem.

I'm not here to justify our marriage, it works, it works well and we're both glad we did it.

If your comments about boredom and banging someone else are referring to swinging couples then I disagree.

All I would say to you is if you feel marriage is not for you don't do it.

Of course I won’t, but I’m here to see other people’s opinion.

I’m not only talking about swinging couples but non swinging couples as well..

For example your husband or wife checking out a good looking male/female while driving or walking and thinking hmmm..

Dont think you're actually that interested in others opinions by your comments... its more putting out your cynicism about the concept of marriage. Maybe listen more to those who have had the experience, good and bad."

My opinion is worth as much as everyone else. If somebody comes with a strong reason and I’ll have nothing to say.. I’ll stop. Cool?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Here's a question to those who are skeptics.

Why do you feel that marriage has failed if it only lasted 5/10/20 or 50 years before some decide to separate and move in different directions? Is that not more about your expectations failing rather than marriage concept?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing. "

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Here's a question to those who are skeptics.

Why do you feel that marriage has failed if it only lasted 5/10/20 or 50 years before some decide to separate and move in different directions? Is that not more about your expectations failing rather than marriage concept?"

The concept is old and doesn’t stand the way of modern life styles. If you read history people only got married for gain and power.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

"

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons. "

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love "

It’s all about the money honey I don’t mean it

I love you x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was listening to the radio and one torry Mp has said that he wants to ban civil partnership for heterosexual couples..

And I’m thinking why not just ban marriage? It’s an old tradition anyway which has many flaws "

pomp and ceremony they want a celebration

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons. "

Lol...The solid reasons are there...You need to find a willing accomplice

That's often been the hardest part lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love

It’s all about the money honey I don’t mean it

I love you x"

Throw a castle with a moat and a small Kingdom in too then.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

Lol...The solid reasons are there...You need to find a willing accomplice

That's often been the hardest part lol."

I countered those reasons and they stop coming back with better ones.

Here are the solid reasons:

1. Because you love each other

2. Because you get legal rights

3. Because you want to show the world that you are one and respected

4. Because my granddaughters have husbands and I can’t walk in with a boyfriend.. Jesus how would that look

5. Because you want to

I can give you more that I listened to

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love

It’s all about the money honey I don’t mean it

I love you x

Throw a castle with a moat and a small Kingdom in too then. "

I’m here to love you my wife, not give you financial security

You don’t love me

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 03/02/18 13:05:32]

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

Now I think it depends on the angle we are looking at it from, if I was a father to the ladies I would not support the idea of the partner thing because it will look shameful to me when I sit down to discuss with my friends and they ask.

Plus if I was a father to the ladies I would insist they sign a prenup with whoever they choose to marry, solely to protect any properties left by the family to them.

Well I guess it really depends on the angle.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love

It’s all about the money honey I don’t mean it

I love you x

Throw a castle with a moat and a small Kingdom in too then.

I’m here to love you my wife, not give you financial security

You don’t love me "

Just give me the damn castle .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone though rather than to specifically gain something. Picking someone to go on a life journey with, enjoying whatever it is that you both decide works for you, for as long as it does. Kids and the whole family thing, or travelling or hedonism etc depending on where you are in your life.

He wasn’t meant to say relationship as this debate is about marriage contract.

You can be in a entirely loving relationship and share 1 toothbrush but why get married?

Eugh never share a toothbrush

And plainly and simply, because you both want to

I want to have a nuclear missile, I pay my taxes, why can’t I have one.

Your plain and simple sentence is the reason that divorce rate is 60% and one half sometimes ends up with nothing.

That makes no sense. Where would you put it!

I wouldn't get married if I didn't want to. Plans and simple. I doubt many would. The reasons they end in divorce could be a million and one things. But presumably they both had free choice to get married in the first place. Better lawyers would be my guess.

I'm sensing you don't want to be married, so best you don't

Haha.. in your back garden

Who knows, I might do if you all manage to convince me by presenting solid reasons.

You don't get married for solid reasons. You get married for lurve. It's all about the love

It’s all about the money honey I don’t mean it

I love you x

Throw a castle with a moat and a small Kingdom in too then.

I’m here to love you my wife, not give you financial security

You don’t love me

Just give me the damn castle . "

Haha.. so you can host orgies

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By *atietvsheffTV/TS  over a year ago

Sheffield

Fucked if I know, I married at 22, thought I wasn’t mature enough and knew what I was doing, but with hindsight I was too young and did it cos all our friends were doing it, married 8 years, she fucked her boss and got pregnant then black mailed me about Katie threatening to tell work, family and friend in order to get a quick divorce and the financial settlement she wanted, left me with £53 in my bank account. That was 24 years ago, no way would I marry again,

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By *rank n BettyCouple  over a year ago

Not meeting


"I have been married, and while it never worked out as planned I don't regret it for a second, it helped shape me into who I am today and also gave me 2 amazing kids. Still on good terms with my ex and am now happy again largely down to meeting V (on here) who has played a huge part in that. I'm now looking forward instead of back. Nothing wrong with marriage and works for many. Every couples choice. G"

Snap. I was with my ex for 20 years but only married for 6.5 as he cheated on me. I met Frank on here. We started planning our wedding from his hospital bed knowing the treatment he was about to have could kill him. It was all a bit back to front as he didn’t officially ask me until he was well enough which was after everything was booked!!

Never expected to marry again, would much prefer a civil partnership. We do not belong to each other we are both individuals. I’m not sure I’m taking his name as I like my maiden name too much.

Times have changed & relationship legalities need to change to reflect that.

B x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It would be good if the laws could be equalised between the different forms of partnership so that whether you get married, have a civil partnership (mixed sex or same sex), etc they all work the same. This would make everything so much simpler.

Unfortunately the church is too intertwined with the state in the UK.

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By *rank n BettyCouple  over a year ago

Not meeting


"Again the ladies are tactically avoiding answering my question, maybe the marriage is really for the ladies and a decent man has nothing to gain in todays world by being in a relationship or marriage.

"

He wants to get married, he asked me. He’s moving county to be with me & my children. He has a business with his brothers, I work full time & have lots of equity in my property. We are equal. I nearly lost him twice, if I ever have to lose him I want to be his wife & be the one to make the important decisions. I cook his meals, wash his pants, share a bed but can’t give permission for medical treatment if needed. It’s mad!!!

B x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP, you are confusing a fuck and love. They are different things all together, I think love is a great thing, and have been lucky enough to experience many different forms of it, including 2 marriages.

I hope you are happy whichever way you choose to go, but please remember that many people choose to live with a partner, and £46 is probably the cheapest life time license you will ever get from any government...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My husband married me so nobody else could have me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My husband married me so nobody else could have me. "

So why did you marry him, same or different reason?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My husband married me so nobody else could have me. "

And here you are

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, you are confusing a fuck and love. They are different things all together, I think love is a great thing, and have been lucky enough to experience many different forms of it, including 2 marriages.

I hope you are happy whichever way you choose to go, but please remember that many people choose to live with a partner, and £46 is probably the cheapest life time license you will ever get from any government... "

I’m talking about marriage and no marriage.. rest stays the same.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's obvious because the woman has a terrible surname and the guy hasn't

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By *evil_u_knowMan  over a year ago

city

You get married because you think "this is as good as I can do".

You cheat because you realise you were wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Women are more religious than men and enjoy the hymns

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