FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I have to ask
I have to ask
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A while back I read a thread about play partners and how some comples would not play with those in that kind of relationship.
I can't remember the reasons why?? lol
Are those who play together egularly but are not married not classed as couples?
ok I need enlightenment here lol |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A while back I read a thread about play partners and how some comples would not play with those in that kind of relationship.
I can't remember the reasons why?? lol
Are those who play together egularly but are not married not classed as couples?
ok I need enlightenment here lol"
It is all a bout your own values and definitions, for me anyway... I dont like playing with people who are married to others simply cos I dont want nasty surprises when an unsuspecting partner finds out... so a couple to me would be a couple in the traditional sense, married or not... but I understand and respect that other people see this differently? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"or those who are married to others but with the full knowledge of all involved??
So recriminations whould be one reason then...any others???"
Ah ok, misunderstood... well, we are on a swinging site so that to make constitues a couple in that sense... in much the same way that in a dance lesson you are a couple if you dance together?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol christ your confusing me now lol.
I view a couple as in nothing more than it meaning two. Thier marital status is irrelevant.
However, some would only play with married couples and I just wondered why?
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"lol christ your confusing me now lol.
I view a couple as in nothing more than it meaning two. Thier marital status is irrelevant.
However, some would only play with married couples and I just wondered why?
"
That is my problem... after I confused myself, I confused you too... and probably everybody else who is now reaching for a comfort drink... In serious mode... Used to play with couples as in married ... simply cos it felt "safer" for newbie swinger couple I was at that time. Making any more sense?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"lol christ your confusing me now lol.
I view a couple as in nothing more than it meaning two. Thier marital status is irrelevant.
However, some would only play with married couples and I just wondered why?
That is my problem... after I confused myself, I confused you too... and probably everybody else who is now reaching for a comfort drink... In serious mode... Used to play with couples as in married ... simply cos it felt "safer" for newbie swinger couple I was at that time. Making any more sense? "
yes....lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you talking about fuck buddies?
Or people in long term relationships that just are'nt married?"
either ...or.
I hate that term fuck buddy lol.
Right, I have a husband ( as im sure everybody is aware lol). I also have a play partner whom I have been playing with regularly for almost two years.
We dont go out as a couple but for arguments sake lets say we do.
Would it be seen as 'fuckbuddies and thierfore not a couple, or classed as a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Are you talking about fuck buddies?
Or people in long term relationships that just are'nt married?
either ...or.
I hate that term fuck buddy lol.
Right, I have a husband ( as im sure everybody is aware lol). I also have a play partner whom I have been playing with regularly for almost two years.
We dont go out as a couple but for arguments sake lets say we do.
Would it be seen as 'fuckbuddies and thierfore not a couple, or classed as a couple."
Im not sure really?.............I know nuffink  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you talking about fuck buddies?
Or people in long term relationships that just are'nt married?
either ...or.
I hate that term fuck buddy lol.
Right, I have a husband ( as im sure everybody is aware lol). I also have a play partner whom I have been playing with regularly for almost two years.
We dont go out as a couple but for arguments sake lets say we do.
Would it be seen as 'fuckbuddies and thierfore not a couple, or classed as a couple.
Im not sure really?.............I know nuffink "
nor me...which is why i have asked lol  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Are you talking about fuck buddies?
Or people in long term relationships that just are'nt married?
either ...or.
I hate that term fuck buddy lol.
Right, I have a husband ( as im sure everybody is aware lol). I also have a play partner whom I have been playing with regularly for almost two years.
We dont go out as a couple but for arguments sake lets say we do.
Would it be seen as 'fuckbuddies and thierfore not a couple, or classed as a couple."
maybe you would just be a "coupling" |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"A while back I read a thread about play partners and how some comples would not play with those in that kind of relationship.
I can't remember the reasons why?? lol
Are those who play together egularly but are not married not classed as couples?
ok I need enlightenment here lol
It is all a bout your own values and definitions, for me anyway... I dont like playing with people who are married to others simply cos I dont want nasty surprises when an unsuspecting partner finds out... so a couple to me would be a couple in the traditional sense, married or not... but I understand and respect that other people see this differently?"
The way we see it too - seen a couple of nasty incidents involving that kind of relationship. We have been 'invited' to assist a couple swing who wanted swinging as part of an affair, not for us, couldn't afford the legal fees when we get called to court lol but we aren't to judge others, if thats the route they want to go down fair enough, just not for us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok, so the general consensus is because of the possible comebacks from them not being married and possible dishonesty, people steer clear.
I am enlightened lol.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"ok, so the general consensus is because of the possible comebacks from them not being married and possible dishonesty, people steer clear.
I am enlightened lol.x"
There is another reason why some won't swing with couples that just get together to swing
Someone once said on here that they won't play with FB's because she was willing to give the man she loves and has been with for years to someone else to have sex with,her most precious thing
She did'nt feel as though she was getting anything nearly as precious back  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"ok, so the general consensus is because of the possible comebacks from them not being married and possible dishonesty, people steer clear.
I am enlightened lol.x
There is another reason why some won't swing with couples that just get together to swing
Someone once said on here that they won't play with FB's because she was willing to give the man she loves and has been with for years to someone else to have sex with,her most precious thing
She did'nt feel as though she was getting anything nearly as precious back "
Really interesting point and I can understand it, although I might not agree... I wonder if there is perhaps an element of unclear boundaries regarding what swinging is about??? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"okay, that I donot understand, but it was a persons point of view so a valid reason.
pondering now....oh thats never a good sign lol"
TOTALLY, that was what I was trying to say but needed a lot more words to get it across...lol.. well said!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok, so the general consensus is because of the possible comebacks from them not being married and possible dishonesty, people steer clear.
I am enlightened lol.x
There is another reason why some won't swing with couples that just get together to swing
Someone once said on here that they won't play with FB's because she was willing to give the man she loves and has been with for years to someone else to have sex with,her most precious thing
She did'nt feel as though she was getting anything nearly as precious back "
I agree with that a little, we swing together apart from to have fun, but to share something special and we like to swing with people who are getting the same feeling out of it...hmm I don't think Im making sense but I know what I mean lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Surely the something special you share is between the two of you....im not sure i understand the getting something special back, or how someone could think that it wasnt the same for the non married, play partner, fuck buddy people.
Whose to say the people who swing together dont have feelings for each other, especially if they are regular partners??
Or am i missing the point or bigger picture??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We aren't married either, its not only married couples we meet, but we do only generally meet with people who are in a relationship together.
It hard to explain really,(I havn't even been drinking lol) but for me the experience is about alot more than sex its a mind thing and I like to meet with people getting the same out of it as me.
lol sorry you aren't going to be able to make sense of what I mean even I can't x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"We aren't married either, its not only married couples we meet, but we do only generally meet with people who are in a relationship together.
It hard to explain really,(I havn't even been drinking lol) but for me the experience is about alot more than sex its a mind thing and I like to meet with people getting the same out of it as me.
lol sorry you aren't going to be able to make sense of what I mean even I can't x"
sexys check out my pantie power thread |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We aren't married either, its not only married couples we meet, but we do only generally meet with people who are in a relationship together.
It hard to explain really,(I havn't even been drinking lol) but for me the experience is about alot more than sex its a mind thing and I like to meet with people getting the same out of it as me.
lol sorry you aren't going to be able to make sense of what I mean even I can't x"
but how do you know what the other people are getting out of it???
its ok, i think im following you rightly...i think lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't know what they are getting out of it really ha I just live in hope its a similar thing as me x"
lol...ummm ok.
so, you prefer to meet people in relationships because you hopethey are getting the same out of it as you are...but you dont really know what they are getting out of it....lol.
now im confused...but chuckling...xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its ok I confuse myself daily, you get used to it after a while.
I must stop posting on here really and showing people how dizzy I can be....."
noooo keep posting, its good to discuss and have a giggle, im forever making a tit of myself, but hey ho, who cares lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the something special you share is between the two of you....im not sure i understand the getting something special back, or how someone could think that it wasnt the same for the non married, play partner, fuck buddy people.
Whose to say the people who swing together dont have feelings for each other, especially if they are regular partners??
Or am i missing the point or bigger picture???"
We may be the couple Sexy Welsh Couple were refering to.
We recall posting a very similar reply to the one they quoted when this topic came up before.
The way we see it,we've been together for 25 years next year.
We are the most precious things in each others lives.Joined at the hip you might say.
We'd die for each other,a cliche I know but non the less true.
Therefore we like to play with couples who have a similar commitment to our own.
You say you have a husband who you may love dearly,not knowing your personal circumstances,we wouldn't know.
If that is the case,do you love and are you also commited to the guy you've been swinging with for a couple of years?
Do you feel the same way about him as you do your husband,does he mean more to you than anything or anyone?
Its hard to explain but I hope your getting my drift.
Couples who feel as we do feel they're in a way being short changed (for want of a better phrase) if the couple they play with don't have a similar commitment.
Sorry but thats the best way I can explain it. 
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if the two play partners are single...what recriminations could come back???"
If a f/buddy couple who play with each on a regular basis have found that they can also enjoy swinging on the couples scene by profiling as a couple then we wouldn't have a problem meeting them. To us, they present themselves as a couple and that's what we look for. How they conduct themselves away from us is their business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't got a f/b ( i also hate that term) and i've been divorced five years and i've never experienced a couple but I have experienced commitment, loyalty , caring and love and everything else that goes on between a 'die for each other' couple. I've also experienced plenty of sex in a n.s.a fashion.
With this in mind i think the difference between playing with a f/b couple and a 'till death us do part' partnership must be almost tangible. The chemistry between and knowledge of each other in commmited couples must make a huge difference to the whole atmostphere , ambience and general feel of the meet. I'm not knocking f/b couples but that level of 'knowing' each other just wouldn't be there. ( AND yes I do know there are exceptions ) X Gran X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely the something special you share is between the two of you....im not sure i understand the getting something special back, or how someone could think that it wasnt the same for the non married, play partner, fuck buddy people.
Whose to say the people who swing together dont have feelings for each other, especially if they are regular partners??
Or am i missing the point or bigger picture???
We may be the couple Sexy Welsh Couple were refering to.
We recall posting a very similar reply to the one they quoted when this topic came up before.
The way we see it,we've been together for 25 years next year.
We are the most precious things in each others lives.Joined at the hip you might say.
We'd die for each other,a cliche I know but non the less true.
Therefore we like to play with couples who have a similar commitment to our own.
You say you have a husband who you may love dearly,not knowing your personal circumstances,we wouldn't know.
If that is the case,do you love and are you also commited to the guy you've been swinging with for a couple of years?
Do you feel the same way about him as you do your husband,does he mean more to you than anything or anyone?
Its hard to explain but I hope your getting my drift.
Couples who feel as we do feel they're in a way being short changed (for want of a better phrase) if the couple they play with don't have a similar commitment.
Sorry but thats the best way I can explain it.
XXXX"
Ok, fair point.
No I donot love him in the same way I love my husband.He is the guy I married, my best friend and worst enemy at times and everything inbetween.There are a few on here who do indeed know us both and so it is all above board so to speak...
My playpartner I love to bits as he is a good friend, and I love him as a friend and someone I would trust implicitly,we meet socially as well as for the fun stuff. However I am not in love with him.
On the flip side, I am close enough to him to have been seeing him for a couple of years, to share myself with him intimately and that says alot in my book. He is also the reason I rarely look anywhere else when it comes to swinging as between the two of them, I really have got it all lol.
So if we were to meet a couple as a couple, then yes, I would class us as a couple in just about every sense of the word.
now its my turn to ponder if that came across right lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest when we are looking at profiles or answering messages we generally look to meet cples who are in a relationship, not necessarily married, because we like ongoing friendship and fun and meeting socialy outside of swinging and its easier as 2 cples.
However, we have met and played with cples who are 2 singles and just a cple for swinging purposes and its been gr8 fun because its the people that have mattered not their status.
When you think about it we have played at swingers clubs and parties with people who are basically total strangers, we do feel total sluts after so we can't really have any moral objection to playing with a cple who are married to other people, even if its behind their partners back, but if we knew they were cheating we'd probably steer clear only because we'd feel they were not honest, and the ethos of swinging to us is honesty and openess between the 2 of us but most of all we'd worry we might get dragged into a messy divorce and our private life would be opened up to the press.
K&T xx xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest when we are looking at profiles or answering messages we generally look to meet cples who are in a relationship, not necessarily married, because we like ongoing friendship and fun and meeting socialy outside of swinging and its easier as 2 cples.
However, we have met and played with cples who are 2 singles and just a cple for swinging purposes and its been gr8 fun because its the people that have mattered not their status.
When you think about it we have played at swingers clubs and parties with people who are basically total strangers, we do feel total sluts after so we can't really have any moral objection to playing with a cple who are married to other people, even if its behind their partners back, but if we knew they were cheating we'd probably steer clear only because we'd feel they were not honest, and the ethos of swinging to us is honesty and openess between the 2 of us but most of all we'd worry we might get dragged into a messy divorce and our private life would be opened up to the press.
K&T xx xx"
Your right, well in my opinion you are. It is indeed the people that matter and not thier status as you have said.
It has been interesting reading the replies though as it just throws up more questions in my mind...always a good thing. |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Surely the something special you share is between the two of you....im not sure i understand the getting something special back, or how someone could think that it wasnt the same for the non married, play partner, fuck buddy people.
Whose to say the people who swing together dont have feelings for each other, especially if they are regular partners??
Or am i missing the point or bigger picture???
We may be the couple Sexy Welsh Couple were refering to.
We recall posting a very similar reply to the one they quoted when this topic came up before.
The way we see it,we've been together for 25 years next year.
We are the most precious things in each others lives.Joined at the hip you might say.
We'd die for each other,a cliche I know but non the less true.
Therefore we like to play with couples who have a similar commitment to our own.
You say you have a husband who you may love dearly,not knowing your personal circumstances,we wouldn't know.
If that is the case,do you love and are you also commited to the guy you've been swinging with for a couple of years?
Do you feel the same way about him as you do your husband,does he mean more to you than anything or anyone?
Its hard to explain but I hope your getting my drift.
Couples who feel as we do feel they're in a way being short changed (for want of a better phrase) if the couple they play with don't have a similar commitment.
Sorry but thats the best way I can explain it.
XXXX"
We've posted something very similar in other threads on this subjsect. K and I have been married 32 years this month and only started swinging just over 4 years ago. We are soul mates and would do anything for eachother, its a commitment we feel that FB's can't possibly have especially if they have a partner at home that they are 'cheating' on.
Now before you have a go we are not being judgemental everyone has there reasons for swinging but we all have choices with whom we would swing with. We are still friends with the first couple we swapped with, even went to their wedding in January so techincally I suppose they were FB's but they were childhood sweethearts, went there separate ways and have now been back together for over 10 years.
More garbage from 'A' I know but hope you see our point of view too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can see evryones point of view, everyone is entitled to an opinion.
It is not a judgemental thread, I was merely interested after remembering a similar post a while back.
I just find it interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a female friend that has two profiles, single female and a couples (friend with benefits) account, no husbands or wives in the picture. The male half is active independently as is she just more so, plus their couples profile is enjoying successful attention too ie - lots of sex - one on one with others, group, clubs and parties not forgetting their own personal intimate evenings.
Now imagine that these both or independently had a husband or wife who gave their blessings to each of their partners, in what we would identify as an open relationship, as that is what we would have here, an open relationship (do I assume too much?). This suggests that the hypothetical partners may also be independently sexually active, they may not be swingers just merely playing the open strawberry field - I don’t like the phrase vanilla.
In the past others have stated that choosing play mates wisely is very important:
Maybe when the openly married (one of or both being so) but acting single form a couple, others simply see them as an unwise choice.
By the way - The ghost was in a paddock scaring the horses |
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Two sngle people coming together to fuck each other and meeting others to fuck is surely a great deal more honest than married folks playing away with their other half's permission.
So long as everyone know the situation in advance where's the issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well we were on ere as singles..
but knew that summat extra was there, we wasnt loooking for anything...
so we've hidden our single profiles so we can focus on our pleasures together...and its been great so far...
but you just need to do whats right for you, yes you will find people that wont play but at the same time you will find people that will...
we dont mind who we meet just as long as they have been honest and therefore we can make our own mind up... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two sngle people coming together to fuck each other and meeting others to fuck is surely a great deal more honest than married folks playing away with their other half's permission.
So long as everyone know the situation in advance where's the issue. "
Did you mean 'without' permission |
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"Two sngle people coming together to fuck each other and meeting others to fuck is surely a great deal more honest than married folks playing away with their other half's permission.
So long as everyone know the situation in advance where's the issue.
Did you mean 'without' permission "
I did indeed mean without. Apologies all.
Jim |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two sngle people coming together to fuck each other and meeting others to fuck is surely a great deal more honest than married folks playing away with their other half's permission.
So long as everyone know the situation in advance where's the issue.
Did you mean 'without' permission
I did indeed mean without. Apologies all.
Jim"
S'ok Jim ... x |
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