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Opinion judgement, married and taboo.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So. Since joining fab my opinions and judgement has changed a lot. I was quite closed minded on many things particularly the forever subject of cheaters.
Now. I still don't meet cheaters willingly, but I've stumbled upon a few for socials if I'm travelling. 2nd profile btw.
Interestingly today I was at a gallery and there was a picture about an adulterous and she is shamed. Jesus says do not cast aspersions on sin as we are all sinners. Food for thought. I'm not religious but perhaps we are all sinners.
On the 3 occasions I've chatted to a married (socials) I've had different reasons givebn for cheating. Again I won't meet cheaters but I'm definitely more grey on understanding why, less black and white.
So what have you changed in opinion, what judgement is less so and what taboos have you engaged in since fab entered your life.
Open minded and non judgement if we can.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
None of us know what is and isn't agreed in other relationships and what constitutes being unfaithful for them.
I believe that meeting married people in this setting for a social and chatting to them in friendly, flirtatious ways, sharing saucy and explicit images is just as 'bad' for the person who is being cheated on as meeting the person for sex. I also believe that for many, sharing confidences with another is more of a betrayal than on odd, things just happened, sexual encounter. Therefore, most of the 'I condemn and judge all cheaters' brigade who happily continue to interact with those they know to be married on here because they are nice and fun and maybe have a sexy body and pictures, sharing quite intimate information, but holding themselves as morally superior because they haven't had sex with them are being hypocritical.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"None of us know what is and isn't agreed in other relationships and what constitutes being unfaithful for them.
I believe that meeting married people in this setting for a social and chatting to them in friendly, flirtatious ways, sharing saucy and explicit images is just as 'bad' for the person who is being cheated on as meeting the person for sex. I also believe that for many, sharing confidences with another is more of a betrayal than on odd, things just happened, sexual encounter. Therefore, most of the 'I condemn and judge all cheaters' brigade who happily continue to interact with those they know to be married on here because they are nice and fun and maybe have a sexy body and pictures, sharing quite intimate information, but holding themselves as morally superior because they haven't had sex with them are being hypocritical.
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I have no problem with attached people using this site, as long as they are honest to me about their status. Yes it is a sex site, but I still choose who I have sex with. My personal choice, is not to be complicit in infidelity. To me, chatting to an attached man on a sex site, is still being complicit in infidelity. A few polite mails, then goodbye.
I'm with you Lickety  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s actually a great question about what you’ve changed your mind on, and what taboos have you engaged in. But I fear it’ll descend into another anti-cheater thread!
Anyhow, to answer the OPs question, no real taboos as such - but before joining Fab I never believed I’d end up passionately kissing another guy’s wife in front of him and with his consent. That, for me, is always a huge buzz! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have not lived their life
I cannot walk in their shoes
I have no right to judge the actions of others...
I am not their keeper....."
I am not judging them, I choose not to meet for sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure Fabs has changed my judgement much, rather its enforced my belief that someones personal life/situation is exactly that and its none of mine or anyone else's chuffing business how they choose to conduct it. And if that's not for you then that's absolutely fine too but pretty sure it can all be done without a big ole bucket of tar and feathers! Walk a mile people and if their shoes pinch then just enjoy those folk who do tick your boxes!
As for Taboo... I used to drink it with lemonade back in the early 90s!  |
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I guess we see it like this .
When anyone meets us , it really is nsa sex , whoever we meet . Married , attached , single , men or women alike , simple .
So if a cheater meets us , the cheater fulfills a need , or scratches an itch and so do we . Then that’s it , done , dusted and over .
If they met someone other than us , it may not be as simple . Fact is it could get really complicated , so better us than a potential shit storm
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By *arkcoMan
over a year ago
Lichfield |
It's a personal preference and dependant on personal circumstances. I play.....am open with those I play with but give and require absolute discretion. Openness seems to have been an effective policy.
It may seem a bit of a contradiction, but I wouldn't necessarily want to play with a married woman unless her husband was involved/ aware.
Damn, I'm confused now. ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interesting replies.
For those thinking I meet socially knowingly. No. I've put coffee meets up when travelling. It isn't until we've met I've discovered they're married. So unknowingly I had coffee with a married man in conversation. That happened twice.
But, how is the setting different to talking to a married man in a bar. It's something I'd do. I talk to lots of different people in different settings. And even married women. There's not always an end game with people.
A man asked me questions today on the train, about his journey, he had a wedding ring on. There was no end game or agenda, he was having a long day, just talked to someone. If that was a woman is it different. If it were women that had replied to my social meets and hadn't been upfront is that different.
You see you've judged my meets without the full background. This is my point. Single men profiles and half way thru. It comes out. I'm an adult, I'm not gonna throw a cup of coffee on someone. We already had a chat, they're going on there way. Nothing seedy. Just a social coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"None of us know what is and isn't agreed in other relationships and what constitutes being unfaithful for them.
I believe that meeting married people in this setting for a social and chatting to them in friendly, flirtatious ways, sharing saucy and explicit images is just as 'bad' for the person who is being cheated on as meeting the person for sex. I also believe that for many, sharing confidences with another is more of a betrayal than on odd, things just happened, sexual encounter. Therefore, most of the 'I condemn and judge all cheaters' brigade who happily continue to interact with those they know to be married on here because they are nice and fun and maybe have a sexy body and pictures, sharing quite intimate information, but holding themselves as morally superior because they haven't had sex with them are being hypocritical.
"
To be clear. I did not meet a married man. I met single men who then dropped themselves in it. Neuther did I say we exchanged stories, pics or flirting. You've made a lot of assumptions which frankly did not happen. Once I tripped them up. I do not engage in fab chat. I ask why they're here. My profile states no cheaters. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"None of us know what is and isn't agreed in other relationships and what constitutes being unfaithful for them.
I believe that meeting married people in this setting for a social and chatting to them in friendly, flirtatious ways, sharing saucy and explicit images is just as 'bad' for the person who is being cheated on as meeting the person for sex. I also believe that for many, sharing confidences with another is more of a betrayal than on odd, things just happened, sexual encounter. Therefore, most of the 'I condemn and judge all cheaters' brigade who happily continue to interact with those they know to be married on here because they are nice and fun and maybe have a sexy body and pictures, sharing quite intimate information, but holding themselves as morally superior because they haven't had sex with them are being hypocritical.
To be clear. I did not meet a married man. I met single men who then dropped themselves in it. Neuther did I say we exchanged stories, pics or flirting. You've made a lot of assumptions which frankly did not happen. Once I tripped them up. I do not engage in fab chat. I ask why they're here. My profile states no cheaters. "
You've misunderstood me, it's not a judgement of you. I have met many attached men and women socially through Fab - some knowingly and others not. I met someone who claimed to be widowed and saw him sexually for many months before he confessed.
My point is that we only know what those we engage with tell us and what we suspect. We each make our individual choices on that. When people get preachy about not meeting cheaters (I am not suggesting you have been, but others certainly have) but also happily chat on the forum, look at their naked pictures and see no equivalence then I call hypocrisy because the unknowing partner they claim to not want to hurt may well view a long-term virtual relationship as more of a betrayal than a one-off shag.
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"
I have met many attached men and women socially through Fab - some knowingly and others not. I met someone who claimed to be widowed and saw him sexually for many months before he confessed.
My point is that we only know what those we engage with tell us and what we suspect. We each make our individual choices on that. When people get preachy about not meeting cheaters (I am not suggesting you have been, but others certainly have) but also happily chat on the forum, look at their naked pictures and see no equivalence then I call hypocrisy because the unknowing partner they claim to not want to hurt may well view a long-term virtual relationship as more of a betrayal than a one-off shag.
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Claiming to be widowed is awful. I hope his wife never found out he was saying that, what a hurtful betrayal and denial of her existence.
I agree with what you say here. There's a huge discrepancy in the way certain attached men are treated and it often depends on looks and personality. I find emotional betrayal i.e. that intimate connection that so many look for as bad as sexual infidelity. If you're against cheaters at least be against them all not just the ones who are less articulate and personable. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I have met many attached men and women socially through Fab - some knowingly and others not. I met someone who claimed to be widowed and saw him sexually for many months before he confessed.
My point is that we only know what those we engage with tell us and what we suspect. We each make our individual choices on that. When people get preachy about not meeting cheaters (I am not suggesting you have been, but others certainly have) but also happily chat on the forum, look at their naked pictures and see no equivalence then I call hypocrisy because the unknowing partner they claim to not want to hurt may well view a long-term virtual relationship as more of a betrayal than a one-off shag.
Claiming to be widowed is awful. I hope his wife never found out he was saying that, what a hurtful betrayal and denial of her existence.
I agree with what you say here. There's a huge discrepancy in the way certain attached men are treated and it often depends on looks and personality. I find emotional betrayal i.e. that intimate connection that so many look for as bad as sexual infidelity. If you're against cheaters at least be against them all not just the ones who are less articulate and personable."
Exactly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I changed my mind about anal play. Nothing was going up my bum except in a medical emergency. Now? Well let’s just say I’ve experimented with quite a few toys and enjoyed a prostate massage that blew my mind. So I have a very different perspective now |
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"So. Since joining fab my opinions and judgement has changed a lot. I was quite closed minded on many things particularly the forever subject of cheaters.
Now. I still don't meet cheaters willingly, but I've stumbled upon a few for socials if I'm travelling. 2nd profile btw.
Interestingly today I was at a gallery and there was a picture about an adulterous and she is shamed. Jesus says do not cast aspersions on sin as we are all sinners. Food for thought. I'm not religious but perhaps we are all sinners.
On the 3 occasions I've chatted to a married (socials) I've had different reasons givebn for cheating. Again I won't meet cheaters but I'm definitely more grey on understanding why, less black and white.
So what have you changed in opinion, what judgement is less so and what taboos have you engaged in since fab entered your life.
Open minded and non judgement if we can.
"
Yes we are all sinners, not judging does not mean endorsing.
As for their reasons given, most of them are bullshit, i mean 70% bullshit, 30% genuine by my estimates.
The human mind can pretty much justify anything it wants to. Most people got themselves into these situations with their own shite decision making and are too cowardly to have tough conversations. It's mainly the stories where ill health wrecked an otherwise good marriage that i think are genuine.
The other red flag for me is that if you really just wanted you nut sack drained, then you'd go to a hooker. The fact that they want socials and possibly and affair suggests, to me, its more of an ego thing than scratching a biological itch. |
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Joining this site was a view changer in itself. The thought of recreational sex with strangers was abhorrent to me. Living with someone not your husband?
Now I can't imagine being monogamous or married again. |
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. It's still not comfortable but I did break my taboo.
