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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A question for the ladies:
How long do you chat with someone before a meet is discussed or organised?
I usually chat to someone for a good while before asking about a meet but then usually conversation dries up and I don't get any more replies.
A question for the guys: Is this a common experience? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can happen but I guess it’s in what and how you ask?
Do you move straight in to the ‘let’s get nekkid’ approach or suggest a no-strings coffee acocisl first?
Whichever you try, that isn’t working, perhaps try a different approach?
And everyone will have a different definition of ‘talking for a good while’ - how long typically, out of interest, before you suggest a meet? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can happen but I guess it’s in what and how you ask?
Do you move straight in to the ‘let’s get nekkid’ approach or suggest a no-strings coffee acocisl first?
Whichever you try, that isn’t working, perhaps try a different approach?
And everyone will have a different definition of ‘talking for a good while’ - how long typically, out of interest, before you suggest a meet? "
I never go straight for the jugular. It's nearly always for a drink. The longest I've maintained someone's interest is a week or two. And then nothing as soon as I ask to meet |
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OP are you sure the people you are chatting to are ladies?
The reason I ask is because there are men who will pretend to be ladies or couples and as soon as the talk turns to meeting they stop chatting. One way of spotting them is if the chat quickly turns sexual and they ask for more pics. It's not always the case but it can often signify a man wanting wank material rather than a lady looking to meet.
Sometimes chats can just fizzle out. Don't let it get you down, just keep on trying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP are you sure the people you are chatting to are ladies?
The reason I ask is because there are men who will pretend to be ladies or couples and as soon as the talk turns to meeting they stop chatting. One way of spotting them is if the chat quickly turns sexual and they ask for more pics. It's not always the case but it can often signify a man wanting wank material rather than a lady looking to meet.
Sometimes chats can just fizzle out. Don't let it get you down, just keep on trying."
Thanks for your reply. I'm as sure as I can be that they're female. But I guess you never really know. It doesn't generally turn sexual, just a lot of flirting xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the husband of a hotwife it’s my roll to find possible playmates so I’m the one who starts the initial chat with guys . I always make it clear to guys with whom they are chatting with , we prefer to exchange a few messages over a couple of weeks as this give me the hubbie a chance to make sure they are what we seek as a couple or not . Most guys can’t be bothered with all this messaging which is fine but doesn’t end with meeting us . This is just our way of meeting by the way . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As the husband of a hotwife it’s my roll to find possible playmates so I’m the one who starts the initial chat with guys . I always make it clear to guys with whom they are chatting with , we prefer to exchange a few messages over a couple of weeks as this give me the hubbie a chance to make sure they are what we seek as a couple or not . Most guys can’t be bothered with all this messaging which is fine but doesn’t end with meeting us . This is just our way of meeting by the way . "
I'd imagine a couple dynamic would be different though. I'm talking about females. Thanks though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so it happened again. I was chatting to someone for a good few days, was going really well - really nice chatting to her. Sent her a message tonight asking about potentially meeting if she felt the same connection as I did and found a while later that she'd read the message and blocked me. Any ideas where I'm going wrong? |
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Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it "
I'm also polite, I enjoy chatting & the online social side so maybe ask earlier on if there would be some point in the future that they'd consider meeting you after getting to know you more, I'm always upfront if it's not going to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it "
Thank you so much. I'll have a think about all of this xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it
I'm also polite, I enjoy chatting & the online social side so maybe ask earlier on if there would be some point in the future that they'd consider meeting you after getting to know you more, I'm always upfront if it's not going to happen."
Thank you. Appreciate it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The more chat the better for me but there has to be a little flirting and evidence shall we say that my profile has been read and that the guys are interested in me not just my vagina!
Meeting is hard for me and many ladies wirh familues ro consider so i really have to get that vibe and someone wanting to meet too soon is off putting. But as a pp said everyones too much too soon is different! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it "
Great tip about the pic.  It can get confusing when chatting to a few people. An unusual pic really helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to sort a social meet within a week or 2. I mention it after chatting for a couple of days. If no social is sorted within 2 weeks we won't be meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to think that if a man chats for longer than two weeks without suggesting a meet, he is a fantasist/timewaster. If there's a spark online always best to meet within a week or fortnight tops to check that the spark exists in person, in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more chat the better for me but there has to be a little flirting and evidence shall we say that my profile has been read and that the guys are interested in me not just my vagina!
Meeting is hard for me and many ladies wirh familues ro consider so i really have to get that vibe and someone wanting to meet too soon is off putting. But as a pp said everyones too much too soon is different!"
There was definitely flirting and more being appreciated than body parts lol. Thanks for your advice xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi there.
That’s frustrating.
Have a look at the messages. Are they asking questions and encouraging the conversation to flow? Or are they simply answering each time? Have they said they fancy you or, with hindsight, could their answers just be polite rather than encouraging?
My hotlist is men I’ve chatted to who I would like to meet. But I have 25 men on it and I get the chance to meet about fortnightly so that’s a year of men. Sometimes I resist the shall-we-meet conversation because I’m struggling to figure out when.
If the man I’m chatting to can’t accommodate it adds a layer of complexity to the meet that can make me hesitate.
One final thought is that I chat to a LOT of men who have the silhouette profile pic and it’s really hard to mentally separate them. I get confused about who they are. Consider putting up a pic that stands out (brightly coloured or something) because you’ll be more-easily distinguished.
It’s hard to suggest more but I hope you crack it
Great tip about the pic. It can get confusing when chatting to a few people. An unusual pic really helps. "
Yours is certainly unusual lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to think that if a man chats for longer than two weeks without suggesting a meet, he is a fantasist/timewaster. If there's a spark online always best to meet within a week or fortnight tops to check that the spark exists in person, in my opinion "
Awesome. Thanks xx |
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