FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Expectations vs reality

Expectations vs reality

Jump to: Newest in thread

By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

Keep it lighthearted and simply comment what you thought fab would be like and what the reality is

I'll say that I expected to be balls deep in hotties that were out of my league but loved sex with anyone

Reality is that there are some great women on here but 100x the men so it's dam tough but fun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I joined for some no strings fun... turns out I caught strings

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

"It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers."

I did think that but wasn't sure

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I joined for some no strings fun... turns out I caught strings

Damn! I hate it when you catch the feels!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I joined for some no strings fun... turns out I caught strings

Damn! I hate it when you catch the feels!!

xx"

Haha I dunno, it's working out quite well so far

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I joined hoping there would be more genuine people than there were on the site I was using. My expectations have been exceeded

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

My honest expectations when I set up this profile were that no-one could possibly be interested in an over the hill 50+ year old, and that I'd just enjoy the forums and being able to have open and interesting conversations about sex and sexuality - let's just leave it that reality is I've been pleasantly surprised

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I joined just to chat.

Eventually I was drawn in to meeting.

Its been a great nine months

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers.

I did think that but wasn't sure"

If they were your dick would be wet every day of the week.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

I thought when I joined that I would maybe be able to meet a few guys who’d be interested in a fwb or fb type arrangement. Then I discovered the forums and made friends and met some of the nicest people I’ve ever know. I’ve been to clubs and met more lovely people and found myself feeling more accepted and comfortable than I have for a very long time

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No expectations when I joined.

Haven't been disappointed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a couple being inundated with messages and meet offer when we post a meet,in reality not the above mentioned lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

I was expecting to be sent hundreds of messages a day from women who were desperate to fuck me.

The reality is broadly similar

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had no idea what to expect.

It wasn’t much different to Tinder or POF In reality.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected us to do very little and get lots in return. It's working out exactly like I thought it would

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

"It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers.

I did think that but wasn't sure

If they were your dick would be wet every day of the week. "

It gets wet twice a day 7 days a week

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wiftieeMan over a year ago

near Glasgow

I joined hoping that I'd have the odd meet.

However, I had that and very pleasureable it was too, but I went on to have a relationship for about 3 years, and when that ended, Ive been having a further relationship that's been going for over 4 years.

Am I a swinger? Probably not!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

expect nothing - then everything is a bonus

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I thought when I joined that I would maybe be able to meet a few guys who’d be interested in a fwb or fb type arrangement. Then I discovered the forums and made friends and met some of the nicest people I’ve ever know. I’ve been to clubs and met more lovely people and found myself feeling more accepted and comfortable than I have for a very long time "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A male friend suggested the site to me. It's far better than the other ones I was on so deleted them all.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I expected nothing but sex, and I've certainly had a lot more than just that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected sex and found celibacy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To be honest it's not what I expected but not in a bad way. I've spoken to some really nice people on the forums. I've had No replies but that doesn't bother me and I'm not winging about it like I've seen a lot of men do. I have a decent social life as I assume most people on here do. I'm just here to meet and chat to new interesting people.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

I thought it would have been full of like minded couples. But it turned out to be full of emotional and dysfunctional singles.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected to be inundated with offers lol, then I found the forum and I have been using this instead and had lots of fun and chatted to many here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ornylittlesubWoman over a year ago

Grangemouth

I thought it would be a window/door into my kinky darker side....can't say I was wrong.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had no expectations. Started rather keen every time someone spoke to me. Now enjoying the site and chatting to people. Plus the pictures are great!

Only downside is I spend too long on here!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I expected to be inundated with offers lol, then I found the forum and I have been using this instead and had lots of fun and chatted to many here

Loving your new pics! Sunshine is good.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I shouldn't be shocked but I am, that I'm still here. I'm surprised by the diversity somewhat, how we're all so different - but that is largely what I really value. I've been here a long time.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I expected it to be easy to meet women, the main reason I joined but that appears to not be the case.

These days I don't have any expectations, then I'm less likely to be disappointed!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I expected it to be easy to meet women, the main reason I joined but that appears to not be the case.

These days I don't have any expectations, then I'm less likely to be disappointed!!"

Spot on

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thought I might get the odd meet but I didn't expect anyone to want me exclusively or to make friends.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We were not sure what to expect when we joined. We had fantasies and hoped to fulfil some of them. To begin with it was a bit disappointing but once we realised that it was going to take more than a Hello to get anywhere it really took off.

And yes we gave fulfilled some fantasies but not all of them

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected to meet more men than I do but think I am comparing my experience here unfairly to a similar site I used in London where the choice was much greater

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thought it would be woodstock with free loving people.

No. Hard work, even as a bi single fem. Clubs are easier. Even the socials have catty cliques. Apparently having sex after in the hotels is frowned upon at some socials. Unless you have sex with everyone who wants it. Otherwise you're watched.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and there lies the problem everybody expects .... but as in life Entitlement is owed to no one

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I expected to be inundated with offers lol, then I found the forum and I have been using this instead and had lots of fun and chatted to many here

Loving your new pics! Sunshine is good.

"
Thanks and yes sunshine is very good, lots of vitamin d, here it can get about 34c in the summer and even 39c and you can swim in the sea 6 months of the year

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and there lies the problem everybody expects .... but as in life Entitlement is owed to no one "

The question isn't about entitlement. It's about expectations. Expectation and entitlement isn't the same thing.

I'm entitled to nothing but I expected a different experience.

I expect things from everyone. My kid included. But I'm entitled to nothing from anyone. Then we fall into what we choose is acceptable to us and what we change or walk away from.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and there lies the problem everybody expects .... but as in life Entitlement is owed to no one

The question isn't about entitlement. It's about expectations. Expectation and entitlement isn't the same thing.

I'm entitled to nothing but I expected a different experience.

I expect things from everyone. My kid included. But I'm entitled to nothing from anyone. Then we fall into what we choose is acceptable to us and what we change or walk away from. "

except we are talking about swinging the 2 are closer than you think no one should expect just as no one has any entitlement ... that's how I see it anyway each and to there own as people say

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I expected it to be easy to meet women, the main reason I joined but that appears to not be the case.

These days I don't have any expectations, then I'm less likely to be disappointed!!"

Same for me!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I can confirm their are some lovely people on this site.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected it to be difficult to meet women on here and even more difficult to have unbridled wild sex....reality has shown to be even harder

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I came here to talk about sex on the forums. Ended up being tempted onto a few beds along the way.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and there lies the problem everybody expects .... but as in life Entitlement is owed to no one

The question isn't about entitlement. It's about expectations. Expectation and entitlement isn't the same thing.

I'm entitled to nothing but I expected a different experience.

I expect things from everyone. My kid included. But I'm entitled to nothing from anyone. Then we fall into what we choose is acceptable to us and what we change or walk away from.

except we are talking about swinging the 2 are closer than you think no one should expect just as no one has any entitlement ... that's how I see it anyway each and to there own as people say

It's a broad spectrum the word expect. My expectations from people in swinging is no different to people in life. Polite, on time, be honest. Not to say I expect anything further. You wouldn't meet a rude person so you expect not to. I thibk you're expectations and mine are different. I'm therefore entitled to my own expectations. If I get them or not. You are really confusing the two words.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Came here to meet new people broaden horizons .... and then went and caught feelings for J and this is where we are now. I was the illusive single bi female now I’m part of a couple who want mmff fun and to swap. How things change.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icole FanningTV/TS over a year ago

Navan

Well I hoped I’d get in contact with people who matched my sexual preference. Of course there’s the usual percentage of odd-balls, but I have to say there are some absolutely wonderful people here too ....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

"and there lies the problem everybody expects .... but as in life Entitlement is owed to no one "

You've read my post totally wrong

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *av_55Man over a year ago

"I joined hoping there would be more genuine people than there were on the site I was using. My expectations have been exceeded

"
I’ll second that my dear x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *av_55Man over a year ago

Came here on the back of another site I was on for 12 years, prefer fab for forums and socials,

And the not to shabby members, but Jesus the time wasters are abound ,,,,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We thought it would be just the same as any one of the other sites we've been members of over the past few years.

It didn't disappoint. It was.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rsTrellisWoman over a year ago

Cambridge

"I thought I might get the odd meet but I didn't expect anyone to want me exclusively or to make friends."

Same. It’s been a nice surprise.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I thought it would have been full of like minded couples. But it turned out to be full of emotional and dysfunctional singles. "

^^^Coming from an unfrustrated man part of a highly functional couple

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes I wonder why I did come here....

Expectations I have none

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

I thought people on here would be more open minded and sexually adventurous than the average population. The reality is that I feel like I've had much more vanilla type sex than I anticipated. Also some folks are quite judgemental around even the most basic of sexual topics.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The reality is finding people who are free and in the mood when you feel the same is difficult.

Oh.....and just because a profile is sexually suggestive and tantalising,doesn't mean that when you message them that they aren't busy dealing with the daily drudgery of life, and aren't feeling particularly sexy and ready to satisfy your needs!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expected to find a woman for some fun and exploring my bi side with because I was fed up of men after my ex.

I ended up having a meet with a few men until the love of my life bumped into me on the forums and here we are now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"I expected to find a woman for some fun and exploring my bi side with because I was fed up of men after my ex.

I ended up having a meet with a few men until the love of my life bumped into me on the forums and here we are now

this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I expected to find a woman for some fun and exploring my bi side with because I was fed up of men after my ex.

I ended up having a meet with a few men until the love of my life bumped into me on the forums and here we are now

this"

you will definitely get an invite when it comes to it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"It’s just a window into the scene but most aren’t actual swingers."

Exactly this!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

If you're a single looking for nsa sex with other singles, I'm sorry but that ain't swinging.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you're a single looking for nsa sex with other singles, I'm sorry but that ain't swinging."

Thank you for your considered input into how you think others should be defined and your arrogant assumption that you have the right to define the activities of others...

I have filed it appropriately

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think a lot of people get confused between swinging and casual sex swinging is a way of life more about the social freedom and meeting like minded open people who enjoy a liberated lifestyle

Personally I think pof is a better choice for people who just want casual sex but who am I to comment really

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You get out what you put in on this site, simple really, our expectations match our effort x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"If you're a single looking for nsa sex with other singles, I'm sorry but that ain't swinging.

Thank you for your considered input into how you think others should be defined and your arrogant assumption that you have the right to define the activities of others...

I have filed it appropriately

Well you can try and fool yourself that you're part of something bigger if you like, but the following examples of nsa casual sex also aren't swinging...

A divorcee on holiday fucking a waiter.

Lads/lasses on stag/hen nights having knee tremblers in car parks.

20-somethings on a Saturday night looking to get laid.

All are just people looking for nsa casual sex with other singles.

Sorry, but that's how it is.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"Think a lot of people get confused between swinging and casual sex swinging is a way of life more about the social freedom and meeting like minded open people who enjoy a liberated lifestyle

Personally I think pof is a better choice for people who just want casual sex but who am I to comment really "

Exactly this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The internet brings out idiots unfortunately and people can't be themselves behind a screen

But it still has its good days

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I joined hoping that I'd have the odd meet.

Am I a swinger? Probably not!

It's really not an issue. In fact I hardly like to mention it. BUT IT'S OVER FIVE YEARS!!!!!

Thank you....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

I wasn't quite sure what to expect was part of a couple at the time looking for a fem. That ended before we achieved our goal. I stayed and have had some amazing experiences since.

What I didn't expect was to find some outstanding life friends that i couldn't imagine not having in my life now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wiftieeMan over a year ago

near Glasgow

"I joined hoping that I'd have the odd meet.

Am I a swinger? Probably not!

It's really not an issue. In fact I hardly like to mention it. BUT IT'S OVER FIVE YEARS!!!!!

Thank you....

Soon be SIX!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *appy squirrelWoman over a year ago

Norwich

expected to find people to have sex with- and found a while new world to explore!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic