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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am meeting a lady friend on Monday, I haven't met her for almost 10 years.
We are going to have a good time in the bedroom, and she has said that she wants the "full 50 shades treatment".
Problem I am having is that I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to be too gentle.
She has told me I can't be too rough, but I'm in a bit of a quandary.
Any suggestions how I can ensure I don't cross the line unwittingly? |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Not really, it's her suggestion and I want to please her."
TBH I wouldn't bother on a first sexual meet! Plus I would never let anyone nor expect someone to play with me like that 1) if they had no experience and 2) Definitely not on a first meet, as you need to know their body and they also have to trust your skills. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"It's not our first sexual meet, we met several times almost 10 years ago."
I think you need to question her more about what she wants and what she is expecting!
Is she expecting specific props? Like canes, floggers, paddles? Or just hands?
There is a vast spectrum which this type of play covers
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I say don't do it..
You seem uncertain and without being to demonstrate complete confidence in what you're doing it is unlikely that she will be able to feel confident enough to allow herself to be turned on by relinquishing control in the way you both hope.
The skill in this in knowing that you're doing it for the other person, to be able gauge their reactions and to allow them to enjoy a completely new space.
If you don't feel you can do this, that's where it's dangerous for you both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would think it's just best to talk with her to be honest, about her expectations. It needs to be worked out between you. Sorry that's not more helpful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op you met a few times 10 yes ago u both have developed different tastes since then may I suggest u go with teasing with light spanking maybe loose restraining so she can have the fantasy of being controlled but the peace of mind she can escape like lady above said full on BDSM will be a step to far too soon as you need to have trust and mutual respect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would think it's just best to talk with her to be honest, about her expectations. It needs to be worked out between you. Sorry that's not more helpful "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would think it's just best to talk with her to be honest, about her expectations. It needs to be worked out between you. Sorry that's not more helpful "
Yep - communication is the key! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your advice.
She is trying to arrange childcare for Monday, if not successful then our meeting is unlikely to happen.
I am going to talk to her lots between now and then in any case. |
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