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Dear women, can you recommend a considerate man to introduce my girlfriend to swinging at Kestrels?
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My girflriend is quite inexperienced and curious about being with another man or woman, but has only ever been with me so she's quite nervous about the whole thing.
She's the most lovely, absolutely beautiful 19 year old soul who I'm very much in love with, and want her to have a great first experience with someone who would be very considerate and attentive to what she needs. Someone willing to take things slowly and gently initially, and generally be a complete gentleman or gentlewoman.
We're planning to go to Kestrel's in early March, if you know of someone very considerate and ideal for being with someone that is quite nervous, please recommend them!
Hope I don't offend the men by asking women to recommend someone, just that I think a lot of men would likely nominate themselves just for a quick shag. |
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"Hope she finds someone considerate,she could do with toughening up a little though by the sound's of it and be aware that she will be in huge demand being 19!"
Yeah, she's a very sexual person once she's in the moment, but a little shy initially meeting someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say she needs to speak to people herself to ensure they click.
Someone I think is wonderful she might think is a creep, we all interact with each other differently. |
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"I'd say she needs to speak to people herself to ensure they click.
Someone I think is wonderful she might think is a creep, we all interact with each other differently. "
Well our plan was, due to her being a little shy initially in social situations, to be in a private room with her blindfolded, and for the person to come in and join us, so she can experience the physical touch and sensation of someone else in that context. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I go to clubs I quite often meet people socially that I subsequently play with. Maybe try that first- no pressure to play then. Let her just experience the atmosphere and go from there? |
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"When I go to clubs I quite often meet people socially that I subsequently play with. Maybe try that first- no pressure to play then. Let her just experience the atmosphere and go from there?"
That sounds like a good idea, but I think she's more interested in the idea of the anonymous stranger joining us while she's blindfolded. |
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I can't articulate exactly why I don't think this is a good idea, but I don't.
In my opinion it would be preferable if you and your girlfriend set up a couples profile, blocked all single men from messaging and searched for guys who would be happy to meet socially and whose profile reflected the caring nature you're looking for then set up a social meet with them.
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"I can't articulate exactly why I don't think this is a good idea, but I don't.
In my opinion it would be preferable if you and your girlfriend set up a couples profile, blocked all single men from messaging and searched for guys who would be happy to meet socially and whose profile reflected the caring nature you're looking for then set up a social meet with them.
"
Thank you, definitely taken into consideration! |
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"I can't articulate exactly why I don't think this is a good idea, but I don't.
In my opinion it would be preferable if you and your girlfriend set up a couples profile, blocked all single men from messaging and searched for guys who would be happy to meet socially and whose profile reflected the caring nature you're looking for then set up a social meet with them.
Thank you, definitely taken into consideration!"
Having read your other replies I'm not confident that a man of the type you describe would agree to having sex with a blindfolded woman in a private room.
Think it through from the considerate guys perspective. A guy on a swinging site has asked women to recommend someone like him to have sex with his shy, blindfold girlfriend anonymously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say she needs to speak to people herself to ensure they click.
Someone I think is wonderful she might think is a creep, we all interact with each other differently.
Well our plan was, due to her being a little shy initially in social situations, to be in a private room with her blindfolded, and for the person to come in and join us, so she can experience the physical touch and sensation of someone else in that context."
I don't know your girlfriend but to me this sounds like a bad idea.
I understand she is shy but physical contact is more intimate than socialising.
Can you remember how nervous she was with you at first? She will be like that again with someone new, having her blindfolded and unaware of who is touching her could make her anxieties a million times worse. |
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Thanks very much guys, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about setting up a couples profile on here and try a different approach. This is a little new to me too, so I really appreciate all your input! |
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By *omesWoman
over a year ago
Surrey |
"My girflriend is quite inexperienced and curious about being with another man or woman, but has only ever been with me so she's quite nervous about the whole thing.
She's the most lovely, absolutely beautiful 19 year old soul who I'm very much in love with, and want her to have a great first experience with someone who would be very considerate and attentive to what she needs. Someone willing to take things slowly and gently initially, and generally be a complete gentleman or gentlewoman.
We're planning to go to Kestrel's in early March, if you know of someone very considerate and ideal for being with someone that is quite nervous, please recommend them!
Hope I don't offend the men by asking women to recommend someone, just that I think a lot of men would likely nominate themselves just for a quick shag."
Most places have a minimum age limit of 21 not sure she is old enough to go to a club |
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"Thanks very much guys, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about setting up a couples profile on here and try a different approach. This is a little new to me too, so I really appreciate all your input!"
Who's idea was the blindfold? |
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"Thanks very much guys, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about setting up a couples profile on here and try a different approach. This is a little new to me too, so I really appreciate all your input!
Who's idea was the blindfold?"
It was her idea, we've done it a few times together and the idea of doing it at a club excited her. I told her I've been to Kestrels a few times before and she was really interested at the idea. |
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"Thanks very much guys, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about setting up a couples profile on here and try a different approach. This is a little new to me too, so I really appreciate all your input!
Who's idea was the blindfold?
It was her idea, we've done it a few times together and the idea of doing it at a club excited her. I told her I've been to Kestrels a few times before and she was really interested at the idea."
You're half way to a couples profile then just be sure to put your message filters on straight away.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As I said in the other thread you posted about this OP, a couples profile really is the way to go if you're expecting genuine interest - although as others have said attending a club may be the way to go, although age restrictions may go against you.
I'd avoid the blindfold idea too - as a single guy that would ring alarm bells for me - especially if she was unable to converse either. Would also think it would potentially heighten her nerves rather than ease them - it's one thing doing it with someone you know but someone you've never met before I would think could be potentially frightening. |
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"
Most places have a minimum age limit of 21 not sure she is old enough to go to a club "
I was chatting with a young lady at Kestrels on Monday, she's only just turned 19 & been going a while.
OP.... As you say your GF is quite innocent, my best advice would be to go along together, don't plan anything, arrange to meet anyone.
Just go & have fun, the 2 of you.
Let her feel relaxed, get to see how the place is.
Chat with other members & get to know people.
Something may or may not happen, but by putting expectations on your first visit, it's quite alot to take on, emotionally & mentally.
I'll definitely say hi, if we're there that day
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope she finds someone considerate,she could do with toughening up a little though by the sound's of it and be aware that she will be in huge demand being 19!"
I remember when I was 19  |
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"
Most places have a minimum age limit of 21 not sure she is old enough to go to a club
I was chatting with a young lady at Kestrels on Monday, she's only just turned 19 & been going a while.
OP.... As you say your GF is quite innocent, my best advice would be to go along together, don't plan anything, arrange to meet anyone.
Just go & have fun, the 2 of you.
Let her feel relaxed, get to see how the place is.
Chat with other members & get to know people.
Something may or may not happen, but by putting expectations on your first visit, it's quite alot to take on, emotionally & mentally.
I'll definitely say hi, if we're there that day
"
Thank you!! That's a really sweet message. Yes, that was exactly our plan, just to literally go with no expectations, if she wanted to look inside and literally turn around and go home that would be totally fine too. I wanted her to feel like she was able to explore a little further if she felt like it on her first time, but with absolutely zero pressure or expectation to do anything.
Wanted to know if there was anyone friendly and willing to engage with us when we arrived, maybe the blindfold idea isn't the best approach! I'll talk with her and see what she thinks, and will definitely say hi if you're there! |
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She would probably be better having her own profile and refining her ability to find the type of person that she finds attractive.
She could also spend time at the club well in advance of the march date, getting to know guys socially first. The two of you could meet couples too.
If you have no experience of who she wants then it really is better to have her do some of the hard work. |
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