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Saving time, energy & frustration all round!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This will be helpful & interesting..
Women Due to being unable to reply to all messages, a “no reply” is the new “not interested”. So once you’ve read someone’s message, what’s the longest THEY should wait for a response before guessing that it’s a “not interested” and divert their attention elsewhere: 2-4hrs? 1 day, 2, 3 days, a week? Women please educate us... |
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Or.. The multiple message approach. Seeing as most of them aren't even opened, it's hardly to your detriment to continue to message over and over again. The outcome of this strategy is entirely binary. They block you or fuck you. |
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Once it’s deleted?
If I glance at a message but don’t have time to reply, I’ll mark as unread to come back to it
Once read, if not interested I will delete it.
If it’s clearly a FAF message without even opening it, I’ll delete it straight away |
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Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once it’s deleted?
If I glance at a message but don’t have time to reply, I’ll mark as unread to come back to it
Once read, if not interested I will delete it.
If it’s clearly a FAF message without even opening it, I’ll delete it straight away"
No not if it’s deleted, if you’ve read it but not replied. What do you think is a reasonable amount of time for someone to wait for your reply if you are interested? |
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"Once it’s deleted?
If I glance at a message but don’t have time to reply, I’ll mark as unread to come back to it
Once read, if not interested I will delete it.
If it’s clearly a FAF message without even opening it, I’ll delete it straight away
No not if it’s deleted, if you’ve read it but not replied. What do you think is a reasonable amount of time for someone to wait for your reply if you are interested? "
Don't wait.
Move on and forget about it. IF they reply it'll be a nice surprise. If they don't you haven't wasted time wondering. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess! "
Okay so you like the messenger after reading their text... what timeframe would you normally reply back within?
Hour ,day, week etc?
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round"
It would frustrate me having to manage my mail in a way that someone else thinks that I should, rather than the way I want to use my profile.
Why does it waste their time and energy? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round"
Absolutely. No replies = scattergun = no replies = scattergun and the cyclic game of frustration continues.  |
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"Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess!
Okay so you like the messenger after reading their text... what timeframe would you normally reply back within?
Hour ,day, week etc?
"
No set time, if I can I'll often reply straight off - even if it's something short. If I'm out and about and quickly checking I'll do it later or the next morning if I'm out out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round
It would frustrate me having to manage my mail in a way that someone else thinks that I should, rather than the way I want to use my profile.
Why does it waste their time and energy?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess! "
This |
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"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round"
Only if they choose to waste their time. This isn't work - there isn't a standardised process that MUST be followed for replying to messages. Your implied criticism there is that people have an obligation to use their inbox in a way that suits others, not themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess! "
I like a lady who keeps a tidy box....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round
It would frustrate me having to manage my mail in a way that someone else thinks that I should, rather than the way I want to use my profile.
Why does it waste their time and energy?"
May be because the messenger waits to see if they get a reply before they message others. Is it me? Did I say the wrong thing? Are they just still sifting through hundreds so I should wait? May be they are on holiday/ill? Be patient it’s only been a few days since no reply. Hahaha All this processing expends mental time and energy. But maybe that’s where the messenger is going wrong. Where’s my scattergun?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont routinely delete them, they just sit there until they drop off the page
And for the guys, this wastes time and energy and causes frustration all round
Only if they choose to waste their time. This isn't work - there isn't a standardised process that MUST be followed for replying to messages. Your implied criticism there is that people have an obligation to use their inbox in a way that suits others, not themselves. "
Absolutely valid and this communication really helps us all and I appreciate it too.  |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
" But maybe that’s where the messenger is going wrong. "
People cant dictate how other people use the site. They only their waste time and energy if they choose to do so. Noone else can do anything about that Im afraid. |
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OP the only thing with posts like this is, it's like asking what's your favourite flavour ice cream - everyone will say something different - and none of them are right or wrong.
There really are no set rules, some will delete, some will leave them till the end of time. You've just got to find your own way of dong things and sometimes your way will click with how others do it and bang, there's your meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't speak for others but I delete any messages where I'm not interested - whether I've replied or not.
I hate having a cluttered inbox, like to know it's all on the one page so I also delete all previous messages where I'm interested and chatting to see how we get on - except the last in a conversation, unless it's got pics attached.
That way my inbox is a quick overview of who I'm interested in meeting and it's easy for anyone who's messaged to know if they should move on I guess!
Okay so you like the messenger after reading their text... what timeframe would you normally reply back within?
Hour ,day, week etc?
No set time, if I can I'll often reply straight off - even if it's something short. If I'm out and about and quickly checking I'll do it later or the next morning if I'm out out. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP the only thing with posts like this is, it's like asking what's your favourite flavour ice cream - everyone will say something different - and none of them are right or wrong.
There really are no set rules, some will delete, some will leave them till the end of time. You've just got to find your own way of dong things and sometimes your way will click with how others do it and bang, there's your meet. "
I know that everybody will have different opinions. That’s life. However if I/we can see things from other people’s points of view it may help us all communicate more effectively/efficiently? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once it’s deleted?
If I glance at a message but don’t have time to reply, I’ll mark as unread to come back to it
Once read, if not interested I will delete it.
If it’s clearly a FAF message without even opening it, I’ll delete it straight away
No not if it’s deleted, if you’ve read it but not replied. What do you think is a reasonable amount of time for someone to wait for your reply if you are interested?
Don't wait.
Move on and forget about it. IF they reply it'll be a nice surprise. If they don't you haven't wasted time wondering."
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Just delete or ignore and move on. I might reply in 10 seconds, or I might get into another conversation and lose it off the bottom of the page until one day I have a deleting spree and it will reappear, weeks later! You cannot predict...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read, and reply, usually to say yay or nay and then delete as necessary. I don't leave unread messages in my inbox.
Some men see you online and get a bit miffed if you've not replied to their message within 10 minutes, i guess they assume i'm not going to reply. Trouble i have is this, once you reply, you get a reply back etc and that makes it longer to get to your other messages.
I don't get shitloads of mail a day though, thanks to filters and being tall/fat i'm a niche market.
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"Once it’s deleted?
If I glance at a message but don’t have time to reply, I’ll mark as unread to come back to it
Once read, if not interested I will delete it.
If it’s clearly a FAF message without even opening it, I’ll delete it straight away
No not if it’s deleted, if you’ve read it but not replied. What do you think is a reasonable amount of time for someone to wait for your reply if you are interested? "
If I’ve read it, it’s either replied to or deleted unless it’s marked unread to come back to
So, like I said - once it’s deleted (in my case anyway!). If you want a time frame, 5 minutes should do it!
The exception the that is if it’s a latest message in an ongoing conversation ... then it’s the same as a text or what’sapp message IMO |
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