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Post Newbie Conundrum
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This isn't a rant I promise - but have been here for probably nearly a year. Am still yet to have a meet, or actually more than a few destined to failed message conversations.
However, I'm an honest man, I like to think I'm not too hard on on the eyes etc etc, all that nonsense. And I really do have a lot, a lot of (for lack of a better word), success, on various other apps / sites.
So this bugs me - I do nothing different on any platform, yet some I'm having the time of my life, here I feel like a plague victim.
So reason for the post is, anyone got any ideas why?!? I think I'm clearly missing something.
P.S. If that came across obnoxious it wasn't meant that way. So please don't leave horrible / condescending messages. I'm just genuine curious why tastes vary
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do you care if you are having success on other sites? "
Valid question. I suppose because were it not for fab, I wouldn't have found these other avenues, so fab has come to mean quite a bit to me(for better or worse), and I want to meet someone from here
And also, I know who I am. I get that women / couples get hounded, and there is probably a thousand cretinous single men here. But I'm not them. I'll stick at it till someone picks me out of the bottom of their barrel and enjoy being a pleasant surprise for them |
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It's difficult for anyone to say why someone isn't having much success with their messages unless they've been at the other end of the messages.
Your profile looks good to me. You're good looking, well spoken/written, you're in a good age range, single, don't live on the middle of nowhere. On paper you should have plenty of success.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right? At the risk of sounding like an egomaniac, everything you listed there is correct - I'm certainly not a disaster. But to clarify, it's not just luck with messages (i.e. Getting replies etc), it's everything - posted a few threads here and this might be the first to get replied too.
My problem is I guess, there seems to be such a sense of community here at Fab, it looks lovely to me. when you're in the circle you're accepted and everyone takes you seriously, and mainly doesn't dismiss you as a creepy weird single man soon to be a mass murderer ?? But you have to get in the circle, which is a very chicken and egg kinda deal.
I'm not a dick. I'm smart, funny, okay looking, professional and just really honest guy. But there's a vibe, a feeling you get here that seems specifically reserved for single men like me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Right? At the risk of sounding like an egomaniac, everything you listed there is correct - I'm certainly not a disaster. But to clarify, it's not just luck with messages (i.e. Getting replies etc), it's everything - posted a few threads here and this might be the first to get replied too.
My problem is I guess, there seems to be such a sense of community here at Fab, it looks lovely to me. when you're in the circle you're accepted and everyone takes you seriously, and mainly doesn't dismiss you as a creepy weird single man soon to be a mass murderer ?? But you have to get in the circle, which is a very chicken and egg kinda deal.
I'm not a dick. I'm smart, funny, okay looking, professional and just really honest guy. But there's a vibe, a feeling you get here that seems specifically reserved for single men like me "
Also riddle me this - no woman / couple will meet an unverified man. So how am I supposed to get verified?!? |
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Going to social event or a club would be a good way to get verified.
I'm not a man so I can't say I know the feeling you have of vilification but I can guess that where it exists it's probably down to the inequality in numbers between the sexes and behavior of a lot of other men which taints people's views.
As for not getting much response on the forum, believe me that happens to most of us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Going to social event or a club would be a good way to get verified.
I'm not a man so I can't say I know the feeling you have of vilification but I can guess that where it exists it's probably down to the inequality in numbers between the sexes and behavior of a lot of other men which taints people's views.
As for not getting much response on the forum, believe me that happens to most of us."
and behavior of a lot of other men
Firstly thank you for your honest and fair response. And secondly - that above line I've requoted. You're absolutely right. I do understand the majority are dick pic slinging, derogatory and imbecilic cowboy children dickheads. And on behalf of my gender I apologise, as any other actual man reading this will do.
But again you find these cretins on any app / website. And usually they actually benefit me haha! But fab is an enigma. My best guess is that the site is so popular, and women / couples get harassed so much on a scale so absurdly more than the other places I go, that I can't differentiate myself purely because of the numbers?
May be wrong, may just be an ugly dickhead no one likes ?? |
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I've never really spent much time on other sites and I don't know the numbers of men vs women on them, but I'd guess them to be similar to here. I think the main difference in fab to most other sites, dating or hook up, is that there are a lot of couples because it's primarily a swingers site, and for a lot of people it's a lifestyle not just for lining up a shag.
I don't know what else to say really except if I were 20 years younger and living down south I'd probably at least reply to your message  if you made me laugh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've never really spent much time on other sites and I don't know the numbers of men vs women on them, but I'd guess them to be similar to here. I think the main difference in fab to most other sites, dating or hook up, is that there are a lot of couples because it's primarily a swingers site, and for a lot of people it's a lifestyle not just for lining up a shag.
I don't know what else to say really except if I were 20 years younger and living down south I'd probably at least reply to your message if you made me laugh"
Haha, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me here
Right how's this - what do you call an obnoxious prisoner walking downstairs??? |
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"This isn't a rant I promise - but have been here for probably nearly a year. Am still yet to have a meet, or actually more than a few destined to failed message conversations.
However, I'm an honest man, I like to think I'm not too hard on on the eyes etc etc, all that nonsense. And I really do have a lot, a lot of (for lack of a better word), success, on various other apps / sites.
So this bugs me - I do nothing different on any platform, yet some I'm having the time of my life, here I feel like a plague victim.
So reason for the post is, anyone got any ideas why?!? I think I'm clearly missing something.
P.S. If that came across obnoxious it wasn't meant that way. So please don't leave horrible / condescending messages. I'm just genuine curious why tastes vary
"
Nice profile, and as of an hour ago on your status you appear to have a woman already available for a threesome. So don’t see you’re having too many problems? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a rant I promise - but have been here for probably nearly a year. Am still yet to have a meet, or actually more than a few destined to failed message conversations.
However, I'm an honest man, I like to think I'm not too hard on on the eyes etc etc, all that nonsense. And I really do have a lot, a lot of (for lack of a better word), success, on various other apps / sites.
So this bugs me - I do nothing different on any platform, yet some I'm having the time of my life, here I feel like a plague victim.
So reason for the post is, anyone got any ideas why?!? I think I'm clearly missing something.
P.S. If that came across obnoxious it wasn't meant that way. So please don't leave horrible / condescending messages. I'm just genuine curious why tastes vary
Nice profile, and as of an hour ago on your status you appear to have a woman already available for a threesome. So don’t see you’re having too many problems? "
A friend from a different site. Which kind of is the pint lol. However thanks for taking the time to read and reply! |
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"This isn't a rant I promise - but have been here for probably nearly a year. Am still yet to have a meet, or actually more than a few destined to failed message conversations.
However, I'm an honest man, I like to think I'm not too hard on on the eyes etc etc, all that nonsense. And I really do have a lot, a lot of (for lack of a better word), success, on various other apps / sites.
So this bugs me - I do nothing different on any platform, yet some I'm having the time of my life, here I feel like a plague victim.
So reason for the post is, anyone got any ideas why?!? I think I'm clearly missing something.
P.S. If that came across obnoxious it wasn't meant that way. So please don't leave horrible / condescending messages. I'm just genuine curious why tastes vary
Nice profile, and as of an hour ago on your status you appear to have a woman already available for a threesome. So don’t see you’re having too many problems?
A friend from a different site. Which kind of is the pint lol. However thanks for taking the time to read and reply! "
So set up a couples profile? Even if it’s only for the occasional meet? I guess the real point is, as others have said, swinging is a lifestyle for many and they like the social aspect. Single men sometimes get this, and the ones who do tend to be more successful. But I don’t think you lack success generally, just on fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, the final paragraph of your profile would completely put me off. You don't need to mention about being ignored. I'm not sure how many would think, ' oh I have to meet him' when they read that. A profile is the the first thing a lot will look at... even before opening a message.
Have you thought about a cam veri, just to get that tick? I would consider camming with you?.... just chat mind, no funny business  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest, the final paragraph of your profile would completely put me off. You don't need to mention about being ignored. I'm not sure how many would think, ' oh I have to meet him' when they read that. A profile is the the first thing a lot will look at... even before opening a message.
Have you thought about a cam veri, just to get that tick? I would consider camming with you?.... just chat mind, no funny business "
Oh god - my profile blurb  don't even remember what it says, can imagine it's appallingly cringed though haha!
What's a cam Veri? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest, the final paragraph of your profile would completely put me off. You don't need to mention about being ignored. I'm not sure how many would think, ' oh I have to meet him' when they read that. A profile is the the first thing a lot will look at... even before opening a message.
Have you thought about a cam veri, just to get that tick? I would consider camming with you?.... just chat mind, no funny business
Oh god - my profile blurb don't even remember what it says, can imagine it's appallingly cringed though haha!
What's a cam Veri? "
Perhaps a tad cringey .
A cam veri is just where we face time. I can do it via kik, if you have it. I'll pm you, if you like? |
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