FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Limits of language
Limits of language
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Words. All the words in my head aren’t helping this week. And when I try to use them it’s going wrong. They aren’t conveying what I’m trying to say. They’re restrictive. They’re tripping me up. They’re frustrating me and I’m starting to resent the people I’m communicating with for my own inadequacy of communication.
“Language let’s people communicate with others, make sense of the world and engage in society. It is the way to express ideas, thoughts and emotions. It provides a common structure to share what is in your head with those around you, a system of signs and symbols that allows you to be part of something.”
But a few things have made me wonder about the limits, as well as the opportunities, that language provides. Is it sometimes good to let go of language?
“Daniel Ward says ‘Language shapes our thoughts and perceptions, even our dreams, but it is limiting. Any bilingual will agree that there are some situations or feelings that can only be adequately described in one of their languages.’”
Is language necessary in order to think?
“Language has an impact on thoughts, words are powerful. In conversations, people choose their words carefully because they know they will have an impact.
Looking at work with people with dementia, ‘...neglect of language leads to isolation. You are words.’”
Is it better to sense, feel and experience the world, or to use language? Perhaps it’s best to tune into what you need. Trying to let go of words, and focus on the thoughts and feelings they represent. Get out of your head and into your body. Sometimes there are no words, and that’s okay.
In short - I say this to let it out in the ether and let go...
1. I’m sorry to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
2. I’m sorry to you. It just hurts me to not be as light and fun, I love us three. But I think it’s 2 and a half and that crushes me.
3. And yes, I got a crush. I’ll shake it off. I promise.
What are the things *you* might need to say into the ether? Or that you are limited by language to properly express? How do you communicate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience."
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience.
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to. "
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience.
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to.
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs "
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating. |
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I try, I mean really try to be a good communicator.
Sometimes I say exactly what is on my mind without thinking about how it will hurt, I know I have hurt people with my words but I can't help how I felt at the time.
I am not overly good at restricting myself with words, I can get carried along in the moment and not realise that actually things that I think are jestful or fun perhaps do not come across that way.
It upsets me to think that anyone would not feel included, if you are in my circle you are in with both feet not just one.
No halves.
Also, to the ether;
1- You hurt me, you know it. I hurt you too. Do not do it again. It is cruel and unfair.
2- I hate the way you made me feel like I was the bad person,that I held you back when in fact it was the other way around and people are starting to realise that now
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience.
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to.
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating. "
Hedgehog? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I try, I mean really try to be a good communicator.
Sometimes I say exactly what is on my mind without thinking about how it will hurt, I know I have hurt people with my words but I can't help how I felt at the time.
I am not overly good at restricting myself with words, I can get carried along in the moment and not realise that actually things that I think are jestful or fun perhaps do not come across that way.
It upsets me to think that anyone would not feel included, if you are in my circle you are in with both feet not just one.
No halves.
Also, to the ether;
1- You hurt me, you know it. I hurt you too. Do not do it again. It is cruel and unfair.
2- I hate the way you made me feel like I was the bad person,that I held you back when in fact it was the other way around and people are starting to realise that now
"
 I know all this about you. You’re a good’un.
Ether talk. It’s the way forward. |
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"I try, I mean really try to be a good communicator.
Sometimes I say exactly what is on my mind without thinking about how it will hurt, I know I have hurt people with my words but I can't help how I felt at the time.
I am not overly good at restricting myself with words, I can get carried along in the moment and not realise that actually things that I think are jestful or fun perhaps do not come across that way.
It upsets me to think that anyone would not feel included, if you are in my circle you are in with both feet not just one.
No halves.
Also, to the ether;
1- You hurt me, you know it. I hurt you too. Do not do it again. It is cruel and unfair.
2- I hate the way you made me feel like I was the bad person,that I held you back when in fact it was the other way around and people are starting to realise that now
I know all this about you. You’re a good’un.
Ether talk. It’s the way forward. "
It's very refreshing. Perhaps I need to start that blog I was considering |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?"
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you tried punching them instead? 
Oh no! It’s me that needs punching!!
Oh. 'Sorry' and a bj then, if it's a bloke. Sometimes male communication needs are different to female... "
It might be that I want to give the BJ but they might not want my mouth.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly "
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed.... |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed...."
That gives me aches to read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed....
That gives me aches to read. "
Complicated emotions often need unconventional approaches to resolve them. I was blessed to spend an intense two years in a humanistic community and learned some unconventional stuff during that time. It has helped me on so many occasions. |
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"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed...."
 |
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"Have you tried punching them instead?
Oh no! It’s me that needs punching!!
Oh. 'Sorry' and a bj then, if it's a bloke. Sometimes male communication needs are different to female...
It might be that I want to give the BJ but they might not want my mouth. "
The use of eloquent language may be no use then  |
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The limits of language are real, it’s well known that people who can’t express themselves feel huge frustration.
Not only is the problem getting the thoughts articulated but it’s also getting them in the right order rather than just how they tumble out of your head.
My thoughts for the ether:
I wish it didn’t hurt so much. I hate feeling trapped. I wish I could see a way out that wasn’t suicide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself."
I think you’re right, perhaps I’m feeling the need to express and it’s unnecessary. I think I’m just having a week where my inside resilience is a little jelly-like. I’m needy and clingy and it angers me to expose it. It revolts me.
Is it possible to miss something you’ve never even had? I’m in battle with head and heart. But I’m also very inexperienced and prone to big dreams. I think I live in a fantasy world.
Missing people is sweet agony. |
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"Have you tried punching them instead?
Oh no! It’s me that needs punching!!
Can I just tweak yer nipples instead?
That’d be fun "
Ah bugger, trudges back to the drawing board to come up with a devious plan  ........... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed....
That gives me aches to read.
Complicated emotions often need unconventional approaches to resolve them. I was blessed to spend an intense two years in a humanistic community and learned some unconventional stuff during that time. It has helped me on so many occasions."
Please come and talk to me this year. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you tried punching them instead?
Oh no! It’s me that needs punching!!
Oh. 'Sorry' and a bj then, if it's a bloke. Sometimes male communication needs are different to female...
It might be that I want to give the BJ but they might not want my mouth.
The use of eloquent language may be no use then "
And you’re with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself.
I think you’re right, perhaps I’m feeling the need to express and it’s unnecessary. I think I’m just having a week where my inside resilience is a little jelly-like. I’m needy and clingy and it angers me to expose it. It revolts me.
Is it possible to miss something you’ve never even had? I’m in battle with head and heart. But I’m also very inexperienced and prone to big dreams. I think I live in a fantasy world.
Missing people is sweet agony."
Indeed you can miss something or someone you have never had.
No wonder there are songs like
“There’s a hole in my soul that can only be filed by you” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
Don’t hang around near me, I’m a definite pain generator of late. Thinking of hibernating.
Hedgehog?
Quite possibly! Although on the whole I don’t want to continue being a prick.
*prickly
Maybe expressing your feelings through touch and gaze rather than words might help.
One of the most beautiful reconciliations of my life happened without words. We just sat opposite each other on the floor and gazed at each other. Within 5 minutes we were both sobbing in tears and within 15 we were hugging and cuddling each other. No words were needed....
That gives me aches to read.
Complicated emotions often need unconventional approaches to resolve them. I was blessed to spend an intense two years in a humanistic community and learned some unconventional stuff during that time. It has helped me on so many occasions.
Please come and talk to me this year. "
Let’s find a suitable opportunity |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The limits of language are real, it’s well known that people who can’t express themselves feel huge frustration.
Not only is the problem getting the thoughts articulated but it’s also getting them in the right order rather than just how they tumble out of your head.
My thoughts for the ether:
I wish it didn’t hurt so much. I hate feeling trapped. I wish I could see a way out that wasn’t suicide."
Yes, tumbling, rumbling, jumbling, bumbling.
Re the ether, I understand this. Can we sit a while, hold hands and not say anything until options come? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward."
That’s an alternative solution. I wonder if I’m too cynical. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience.
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to.
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs "
That's just more language. We have codified music, it has form and rules. Even if there aren't words we use language. We talk about body language because we understand it as a form of communication too.
So, OP, I saw the thread title and knew it was you even though I didn't recognise the name. You might be struggling to convey exactly what you mean but I suspect that will be more to do with an inner conflict of what you want to say and how you want to say it, combined with the audience adding their interpretation.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you tried punching them instead?
Oh no! It’s me that needs punching!!
Can I just tweak yer nipples instead?
That’d be fun
Ah bugger, trudges back to the drawing board to come up with a devious plan ..........."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself.
I think you’re right, perhaps I’m feeling the need to express and it’s unnecessary. I think I’m just having a week where my inside resilience is a little jelly-like. I’m needy and clingy and it angers me to expose it. It revolts me.
Is it possible to miss something you’ve never even had? I’m in battle with head and heart. But I’m also very inexperienced and prone to big dreams. I think I live in a fantasy world.
Missing people is sweet agony.
Indeed you can miss something or someone you have never had.
No wonder there are songs like
“There’s a hole in my soul that can only be filed by you”"
Oh good. I’m not completely insane then! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some experiences cannot really be put into words as they are beyond language. Any language used is thereby reductionistic or ends up paradoxical. Deep personal and spiritual experiences fall into this category. In order to convey such things poetry and music often play a big role but they still are no substitute or true reflection of the felt and sensed experience.
Poetry and music, yes!
Music is often a way I express myself, rather than be able to articulate the feeling, the music conveys the emotion or the answer I am seeking.
I love to mix-tape chat with people I am close to.
Yep. I use music similarly. With heartache I wrote songs and poems. If I experienced more pain in my life I might write more songs
That's just more language. We have codified music, it has form and rules. Even if there aren't words we use language. We talk about body language because we understand it as a form of communication too.
So, OP, I saw the thread title and knew it was you even though I didn't recognise the name. You might be struggling to convey exactly what you mean but I suspect that will be more to do with an inner conflict of what you want to say and how you want to say it, combined with the audience adding their interpretation.
"
You get me, Lady. Always have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward.
That’s an alternative solution. I wonder if I’m too cynical. "
They are just picture cards with meanings which we enrich by imbuing our own meaning on them from what is in our subconscious. However because they represent archetypes of human experience they can help us communicate what had been outside our awareness. I simply use them as a way of bringing things that were out of awareness into view and focus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm hopeless at expressing emotions it all comes out in a big teary mess.
If I'm feeling something specific there always seems to be a song out there I can listen to that expresses every I feel in a much more succinct way.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward.
That’s an alternative solution. I wonder if I’m too cynical.
They are just picture cards with meanings which we enrich by imbuing our own meaning on them from what is in our subconscious. However because they represent archetypes of human experience they can help us communicate what had been outside our awareness. I simply use them as a way of bringing things that were out of awareness into view and focus."
Okay that makes more sense to me, I can understand that. X |
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"When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself.
I think you’re right, perhaps I’m feeling the need to express and it’s unnecessary. I think I’m just having a week where my inside resilience is a little jelly-like. I’m needy and clingy and it angers me to expose it. It revolts me.
Is it possible to miss something you’ve never even had? I’m in battle with head and heart. But I’m also very inexperienced and prone to big dreams. I think I live in a fantasy world.
Missing people is sweet agony."
You can miss what you never had, you can miss the idea or something too.
You can miss the sweet thoughts that someone put in your head
What you cannot do however, is apologise for the way you feel.
That is unfair and unkind to yourself.
Never ever be sorry for your emotions.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm hopeless at expressing emotions it all comes out in a big teary mess.
If I'm feeling something specific there always seems to be a song out there I can listen to that expresses every I feel in a much more succinct way.
"
I know! It’s almost like we have no original feelings....!  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward.
That’s an alternative solution. I wonder if I’m too cynical.
They are just picture cards with meanings which we enrich by imbuing our own meaning on them from what is in our subconscious. However because they represent archetypes of human experience they can help us communicate what had been outside our awareness. I simply use them as a way of bringing things that were out of awareness into view and focus.
Okay that makes more sense to me, I can understand that. X"
There's a reason PECS is used wth toddlers with communication disorders.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm hopeless at expressing emotions it all comes out in a big teary mess.
If I'm feeling something specific there always seems to be a song out there I can listen to that expresses every I feel in a much more succinct way.
I know! It’s almost like we have no original feelings....! "
The song fits our interpretation of it. If that interpretation helps, all well and good. Beware finding out what the author meant, though.
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Each word and the patterns of them that we assemble are boundaries by several things - our experience, linguistic and cognitive abilities as well as those of the recipients - on top of cultural influences. They are an externalized approximation of our inner selves and our constructed perceptions.
We're already going through 2 inner and outer translations before we get to have shared what we wanted.
We're not limited to vocabulary, as our in person communication includes our intonation etc as well as non-verbal elements.
Artistic expression and other means of expression are open to us, including physical contact - so we don't need to be tough with ourselves if this alien language may limit us. And we're all shaping and forming language all the time, it's not static. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When words fail to allow me to express how I'm feeling the common factor is that it is me having those feelings - so expressing their totality to someone else may not in fact be necessary since I can process them internally and sum them up to someone else if needed. Failing that, I have musical instruments to hand. They help.
As to what I want to get out into the ether it's one main thing. I miss someone. The fact that I have to miss them is no one's fault, we all have to earn a living and I will see them again - but I miss them in the inbetween time and can own that without it affecting how I feel about them or myself.
I think you’re right, perhaps I’m feeling the need to express and it’s unnecessary. I think I’m just having a week where my inside resilience is a little jelly-like. I’m needy and clingy and it angers me to expose it. It revolts me.
Is it possible to miss something you’ve never even had? I’m in battle with head and heart. But I’m also very inexperienced and prone to big dreams. I think I live in a fantasy world.
Missing people is sweet agony.
You can miss what you never had, you can miss the idea or something too.
You can miss the sweet thoughts that someone put in your head
What you cannot do however, is apologise for the way you feel.
That is unfair and unkind to yourself.
Never ever be sorry for your emotions.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another occasion I used my tarot deck with someone to resolve some interpersonal stuff. The imagery and symbolism were able to unravel some of our deeper feelings and work out a way forward.
That’s an alternative solution. I wonder if I’m too cynical.
They are just picture cards with meanings which we enrich by imbuing our own meaning on them from what is in our subconscious. However because they represent archetypes of human experience they can help us communicate what had been outside our awareness. I simply use them as a way of bringing things that were out of awareness into view and focus.
Okay that makes more sense to me, I can understand that. X
There's a reason PECS is used wth toddlers with communication disorders.
"
Of course. I struggle a little with the whiff of patchouli that I associate with the word tarot. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm hopeless at expressing emotions it all comes out in a big teary mess.
If I'm feeling something specific there always seems to be a song out there I can listen to that expresses every I feel in a much more succinct way.
I know! It’s almost like we have no original feelings....!
The song fits our interpretation of it. If that interpretation helps, all well and good. Beware finding out what the author meant, though.
"
So. True. |
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"
What you cannot do however, is apologise for the way you feel.
That is unfair and unkind to yourself.
Never ever be sorry for your emotions.
"
That’s an interesting idea, but why not? Those emotions can be a real pain the neck sometimes |
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"They are just picture cards with meanings which we enrich by imbuing our own meaning on them from what is in our subconscious. However because they represent archetypes of human experience they can help us communicate what had been outside our awareness. I simply use them as a way of bringing things that were out of awareness into view and focus."
See this is why I avoid the dodgy snake oil at all costs.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Each word and the patterns of them that we assemble are boundaries by several things - our experience, linguistic and cognitive abilities as well as those of the recipients - on top of cultural influences. They are an externalized approximation of our inner selves and our constructed perceptions.
We're already going through 2 inner and outer translations before we get to have shared what we wanted.
We're not limited to vocabulary, as our in person communication includes our intonation etc as well as non-verbal elements.
Artistic expression and other means of expression are open to us, including physical contact - so we don't need to be tough with ourselves if this alien language may limit us. And we're all shaping and forming language all the time, it's not static."
Wonderfully articulated. Thank you. |
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"
What you cannot do however, is apologise for the way you feel.
That is unfair and unkind to yourself.
Never ever be sorry for your emotions.
That’s an interesting idea, but why not? Those emotions can be a real pain the neck sometimes "
Why would anyone berate themselves for how they feel? They happened for a reason, you don't choose to have feelings or emotions.
You can choose to avoid them, or hide them. |
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Also. Sometimes, the things we say can come across differently to the people we are saying them too.
You can mean something in an innocent manner yet it may be received quite differently.
I realised this recently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain. |
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"Also. Sometimes, the things we say can come across differently to the people we are saying them too.
You can mean something in an innocent manner yet it may be received quite differently.
I realised this recently. "
Of course, some people will listen to what you say and react in a positive way, others will be impartial, and others will just take the proverbial. It's all about who you convey your inner feelings to. That's why I only come on here for laughs & giggles. There are only a couple of people in real life that I can let myself go to if that makes sense? |
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"Also. Sometimes, the things we say can come across differently to the people we are saying them too.
You can mean something in an innocent manner yet it may be received quite differently.
I realised this recently.
Of course, some people will listen to what you say and react in a positive way, others will be impartial, and others will just take the proverbial. It's all about who you convey your inner feelings to. That's why I only come on here for laughs & giggles. There are only a couple of people in real life that I can let myself go to if that makes sense? "
Absolutely. I get this. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm hopeless at expressing emotions it all comes out in a big teary mess.
If I'm feeling something specific there always seems to be a song out there I can listen to that expresses every I feel in a much more succinct way.
I know! It’s almost like we have no original feelings....!
The song fits our interpretation of it. If that interpretation helps, all well and good. Beware finding out what the author meant, though.
So. True."
Now I'm singing True.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also. Sometimes, the things we say can come across differently to the people we are saying them too.
You can mean something in an innocent manner yet it may be received quite differently.
I realised this recently. "
Oh I think people also choose to see things someways to feed their own neuroses. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain."
Oh I would love to have the space to create that big! Amazing! |
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"Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain.
Oh I would love to have the space to create that big! Amazing! "
Naked In The Rain - Blue Pearl 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLSGYZpsg9k |
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Hi there
I speak 4 languages and I write poems and tales just for hobby.
I have a degree in science of communication.
And I agree with you when you say that sometimes is difficult to communicate.
I know the body language as well but I find difficult to express my feelings in some cases.
Most depending on how much is the other end disposable to listen and interact.
So sometimes I dedicate poems or songs, or try to express with a picture what I want to say.
Very interesting post.
And your profile is simply amazing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain.
Oh I would love to have the space to create that big! Amazing!
Naked In The Rain - Blue Pearl
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLSGYZpsg9k"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi there
I speak 4 languages and I write poems and tales just for hobby.
I have a degree in science of communication.
And I agree with you when you say that sometimes is difficult to communicate.
I know the body language as well but I find difficult to express my feelings in some cases.
Most depending on how much is the other end disposable to listen and interact.
So sometimes I dedicate poems or songs, or try to express with a picture what I want to say.
Very interesting post.
And your profile is simply amazing "
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
I have a thing for being talked to in foreign languages. French is high on this list. And Scandi-languages. I think it’s linked to the not understanding and the ability to feel the communication and let it wash over me and not be limited by the doubts in my head that are triggered by words. On the hand, this may be self preservation at wanting to keep a detachment because I fear not being enough and don’t want to have to witness it when it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know I’m not enough and that’s okay.
Take that ether. "
Ether that shit.
And I already know (and have known for a long time) that you’re wonderful |
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"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand. "
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear "
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down. "
I'm told my messages are blunt to the point of rude and lack the warmth that I convey in person. I don't see the point of sticking a smileyface on the end of every message.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down. "
You’re warm and approachable in real life. Your blunt here is actually very funny, and often very wise. I loved meeting you. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point! "
I'd be shushing in irritation. I've just booked my next opera fix.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down.
I'm told my messages are blunt to the point of rude and lack the warmth that I convey in person. I don't see the point of sticking a smileyface on the end of every message.
"
I’ve been told that I’m intimidating on here and need to use more emojis to dispel that.
Meh.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down.
I'm told my messages are blunt to the point of rude and lack the warmth that I convey in person. I don't see the point of sticking a smileyface on the end of every message.
I’ve been told that I’m intimidating on here and need to use more emojis to dispel that.
Meh. "
You’re not intimidating- assertive, articulate and a bit argumentative when you feel passionately about something, but not intimidating. If someone is intimidated by you they need to have a look at themselves and their reactions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point!
I'd be shushing in irritation. I've just booked my next opera fix.
"
I know, right?!
But I’ll take it as the intended compliment it was.
I went to see Star Wars and there was a child with special needs in the theatre, as he and his Dad arrived and there were talking outbursts the audience getting ready for their cult fix had a dilemma. It was rather wonderful when you could see the conscious effort of everyone to accept the kid and crack on with the movie - no shushes, no glares, no moving of seats.
It actually made my enjoyment of the film so much more. The baddies are on screen, the heroes in a fix and the quiet tense music starts and all we hear is this kid going “Uh-oh!!” - it was what we were all thinking. And then by the end and the all too familiar music kicking in, he’s singing along. Lost in the adventure. Singing loud and without a care in the world.
We sang with him.
And I wept. It was joyous.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down.
I'm told my messages are blunt to the point of rude and lack the warmth that I convey in person. I don't see the point of sticking a smileyface on the end of every message.
I’ve been told that I’m intimidating on here and need to use more emojis to dispel that.
Meh.
You’re not intimidating- assertive, articulate and a bit argumentative when you feel passionately about something, but not intimidating. If someone is intimidated by you they need to have a look at themselves and their reactions"
I want to get argued into bed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point!
I'd be shushing in irritation. I've just booked my next opera fix.
I know, right?!
But I’ll take it as the intended compliment it was.
I went to see Star Wars and there was a child with special needs in the theatre, as he and his Dad arrived and there were talking outbursts the audience getting ready for their cult fix had a dilemma. It was rather wonderful when you could see the conscious effort of everyone to accept the kid and crack on with the movie - no shushes, no glares, no moving of seats.
It actually made my enjoyment of the film so much more. The baddies are on screen, the heroes in a fix and the quiet tense music starts and all we hear is this kid going “Uh-oh!!” - it was what we were all thinking. And then by the end and the all too familiar music kicking in, he’s singing along. Lost in the adventure. Singing loud and without a care in the world.
We sang with him.
And I wept. It was joyous.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know I come across blunt sometimes too. It's because I can't process long sentences in my head and say them, or write them down.
I'm told my messages are blunt to the point of rude and lack the warmth that I convey in person. I don't see the point of sticking a smileyface on the end of every message.
I’ve been told that I’m intimidating on here and need to use more emojis to dispel that.
Meh.
You’re not intimidating- assertive, articulate and a bit argumentative when you feel passionately about something, but not intimidating. If someone is intimidated by you they need to have a look at themselves and their reactions
I want to get argued into bed. "
No arguing with that |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point!
I'd be shushing in irritation. I've just booked my next opera fix.
I know, right?!
But I’ll take it as the intended compliment it was.
I went to see Star Wars and there was a child with special needs in the theatre, as he and his Dad arrived and there were talking outbursts the audience getting ready for their cult fix had a dilemma. It was rather wonderful when you could see the conscious effort of everyone to accept the kid and crack on with the movie - no shushes, no glares, no moving of seats.
It actually made my enjoyment of the film so much more. The baddies are on screen, the heroes in a fix and the quiet tense music starts and all we hear is this kid going “Uh-oh!!” - it was what we were all thinking. And then by the end and the all too familiar music kicking in, he’s singing along. Lost in the adventure. Singing loud and without a care in the world.
We sang with him.
And I wept. It was joyous.
"
That's lovely and I'd like to think I'd embrace THAT situation in the same way.
The opera evening I am going to has a sing-a-long session at the end.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Ooooh what languages?
I go yearly to the opera and enjoy it mostly because it is in another language and I don’t understand.
Italian, English, Spanish and French (in that order)
Would love to see the Opera with you and whisper the translation in your ear
I think the family friend who treats me each year may not be so keen on that. But thanks! Although I don’t want the translation, that’s kinda my point!
I'd be shushing in irritation. I've just booked my next opera fix.
I know, right?!
But I’ll take it as the intended compliment it was.
I went to see Star Wars and there was a child with special needs in the theatre, as he and his Dad arrived and there were talking outbursts the audience getting ready for their cult fix had a dilemma. It was rather wonderful when you could see the conscious effort of everyone to accept the kid and crack on with the movie - no shushes, no glares, no moving of seats.
It actually made my enjoyment of the film so much more. The baddies are on screen, the heroes in a fix and the quiet tense music starts and all we hear is this kid going “Uh-oh!!” - it was what we were all thinking. And then by the end and the all too familiar music kicking in, he’s singing along. Lost in the adventure. Singing loud and without a care in the world.
We sang with him.
And I wept. It was joyous.
That's lovely and I'd like to think I'd embrace THAT situation in the same way.
The opera evening I am going to has a sing-a-long session at the end.
"
Do you sing opera? I sometimes burst out with some O Fortuna! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell me about it !
Sometimes I completely feel mentally exshauted to think, write and speak in both languages. "
And get your glues mixed up with your clues |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
I love your post's but hate to hear that you are hurting. You are an amazing self analyst so I trust that you will come through this wiser about yourself and those that are still with you but more importantly wiser about why some are not.
I hated not being able to express the depth of my sadness at certain points in my life and I get the frustrations that brings with it but I now know this, at those times being baffled pushed me into understanding it on a deeper level, even if I couldn't articulate it, I was feeling it and it was valid.
Music and poetry helped in certain ways and eventually made my way back to book's. I didn't aim for great as ok was my new goal at those times, ok is a good place to be.
I came across a simple quote that upset me so much at a certain point but I looked at it one day and I thought that's ok. That's when I knew I was ok. I wish you your ok moment
Madame B X |
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"Tell me about it !
Sometimes I completely feel mentally exshauted to think, write and speak in both languages.
And get your glues mixed up with your clues "
Haha that's my dialexia ! At least that works well in both languages haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I love your post's but hate to hear that you are hurting. You are an amazing self analyst so I trust that you will come through this wiser about yourself and those that are still with you but more importantly wiser about why some are not.
I hated not being able to express the depth of my sadness at certain points in my life and I get the frustrations that brings with it but I now know this, at those times being baffled pushed me into understanding it on a deeper level, even if I couldn't articulate it, I was feeling it and it was valid.
Music and poetry helped in certain ways and eventually made my way back to book's. I didn't aim for great as ok was my new goal at those times, ok is a good place to be.
I came across a simple quote that upset me so much at a certain point but I looked at it one day and I thought that's ok. That's when I knew I was ok. I wish you your ok moment
Madame B X"
(Love you Madame B |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
The opera evening I am going to has a sing-a-long session at the end.
Do you sing opera? I sometimes burst out with some O Fortuna!"
Sometimes, badly. With others in a choir or sing-a-long it's a bit better.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The opera evening I am going to has a sing-a-long session at the end.
Do you sing opera? I sometimes burst out with some O Fortuna!
Sometimes, badly. With others in a choir or sing-a-long it's a bit better.
"
I make my own words up |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
" Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand. "
Even if you said it in zeros and ones?
|
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"I love your post's but hate to hear that you are hurting. You are an amazing self analyst so I trust that you will come through this wiser about yourself and those that are still with you but more importantly wiser about why some are not.
I hated not being able to express the depth of my sadness at certain points in my life and I get the frustrations that brings with it but I now know this, at those times being baffled pushed me into understanding it on a deeper level, even if I couldn't articulate it, I was feeling it and it was valid.
Music and poetry helped in certain ways and eventually made my way back to book's. I didn't aim for great as ok was my new goal at those times, ok is a good place to be.
I came across a simple quote that upset me so much at a certain point but I looked at it one day and I thought that's ok. That's when I knew I was ok. I wish you your ok moment
Madame B X
(Love you Madame B"
Right back at ya Xxx
Forgot to do my ether bit, I am giving it my ok quote because it no longer applies.
In French they do not say I miss you. They say "Tu me manques" which translates to "You are missing from me"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand. "
Words used to be my friends. They really turned against me recently. I want to scream but it’s just silence. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I love your post's but hate to hear that you are hurting. You are an amazing self analyst so I trust that you will come through this wiser about yourself and those that are still with you but more importantly wiser about why some are not.
I hated not being able to express the depth of my sadness at certain points in my life and I get the frustrations that brings with it but I now know this, at those times being baffled pushed me into understanding it on a deeper level, even if I couldn't articulate it, I was feeling it and it was valid.
Music and poetry helped in certain ways and eventually made my way back to book's. I didn't aim for great as ok was my new goal at those times, ok is a good place to be.
I came across a simple quote that upset me so much at a certain point but I looked at it one day and I thought that's ok. That's when I knew I was ok. I wish you your ok moment
Madame B X
(Love you Madame B
Right back at ya Xxx
Forgot to do my ether bit, I am giving it my ok quote because it no longer applies.
In French they do not say I miss you. They say "Tu me manques" which translates to "You are missing from me"
"
Perfect phrase. I might borrow that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand.
Words used to be my friends. They really turned against me recently. I want to scream but it’s just silence. "
Sometimes saying nothing is best |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand.
Words used to be my friends. They really turned against me recently. I want to scream but it’s just silence.
Sometimes saying nothing is best "
You are correct. |
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" Me and words aren't friends. I'm happy with numbers. Numbers make sense. Words... never sound right. I've nothing to say to the ether. It wouldn't understand.
Words used to be my friends. They really turned against me recently. I want to scream but it’s just silence. "
I have lost my words
despite they were here a while ago
I would have said something
Something that you know, I owe you, I might owe you
I have lost my words
Maybe I just have lost only my lies
They hide very well
But maybe, simply they weren't mine
Believe in it, believe more
Try to fix an heart, try to feel
Really try to believe
I have lost my words
I wish what I have was enough for you
I can be understood
Even by you
If you listen a bit
You are so beautiful that you can hurt
You are so wonderful that we dance only as you like
Words are not longer necessary
I know that you know
That my words are unuseful
Dedicated to you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain.
Oh I would love to have the space to create that big! Amazing! "
Once it's finished I'll try and get it a photo, then people can admire it or laugh at my efforts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ether talk, anything creative (currently painting a 14ft mural)
I find writing autobiographically very therapeutic.
If all else fails I'll go running especially in the rain.
Oh I would love to have the space to create that big! Amazing!
Once it's finished I'll try and get it a photo, then people can admire it or laugh at my efforts. "
Oh fantastic! |
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