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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The burial posts got me thinking, at my grandparents funerals my dad chose not to have hymns as ‘we aren’t singers’ but we didn’t have any other music either, all felt a bit weird.
My best friend who passed away didn’t either but had loads of music throughout (circle of life was a high point!)
I’m wondering now what hymns would I like, I am kind of religious but not an avid churchgoer, my favourite is shine away, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but it is one that my kids always sang at Christmas during their church services and always made me feel happy.
Have you chosen any or just having music throughout?
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been wondering if it was possible for me just to get cremated. No funeral service whatsoever."
I think you can, One of my residents he requested not to have a funeral.
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've also been wondering if it's possible to conduct my own service by pre recorded video. I've been to too many funerals lately. But to answer your op if I was picking hymns I'd go with the Lords my shepherd, will your anchor hold, the old rugged cross and how great thou art |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll get a load of my musician friends to sing me out, assuming they outlive me...
The only chance of that is if you know most of the St Winifred's School Choir  "
I have a bunch of musical friends, younger than me, who have been known to play a bit of church music. I also know a Cathedral director of music, so it should be doable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to sing Lord of the Dance in assembly when I was at school, I don't know when it's applicable to play this hymn but I like it.
When my great Auntie died, they had an impromptu war time sing song, they played we'll meet again, and by the end the whole church was singing which was lovely.
As for songs at my funeral, no idea. |
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"I’ll get a load of my musician friends to sing me out, assuming they outlive me...
The only chance of that is if you know most of the St Winifred's School Choir
I have a bunch of musical friends, younger than me, who have been known to play a bit of church music. I also know a Cathedral director of music, so it should be doable "
That's cool, although I'm an agnostic, I love listening to some of the black gospel choirs.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to sing Lord of the Dance in assembly when I was at school, I don't know when it's applicable to play this hymn but I like it.
When my great Auntie died, they had an impromptu war time sing song, they played we'll meet again, and by the end the whole church was singing which was lovely.
As for songs at my funeral, no idea."
Absolutely love the thought of a singsong!!! |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
"I've been wondering if it was possible for me just to get cremated. No funeral service whatsoever."
yes you can freind of mine was done at 8am with no one there as her wishes
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ll get a load of my musician friends to sing me out, assuming they outlive me...
The only chance of that is if you know most of the St Winifred's School Choir
I have a bunch of musical friends, younger than me, who have been known to play a bit of church music. I also know a Cathedral director of music, so it should be doable
That's cool, although I'm an agnostic, I love listening to some of the black gospel choirs. "
When my friend passed on her bucket list was to go to a gospel church, so if we went and it was brilliant! The songs were amazing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been wondering if it was possible for me just to get cremated. No funeral service whatsoever.yes you can freind of mine was done at 8am with no one there as her wishes "
This is what Fred wants, he's happy to have a wake but doesn't want the actual funeral service. I'm not sure as I think it's more for the people left behind.
Ginger |
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"I’ll get a load of my musician friends to sing me out, assuming they outlive me...
The only chance of that is if you know most of the St Winifred's School Choir
I have a bunch of musical friends, younger than me, who have been known to play a bit of church music. I also know a Cathedral director of music, so it should be doable
That's cool, although I'm an agnostic, I love listening to some of the black gospel choirs.
When my friend passed on her bucket list was to go to a gospel church, so if we went and it was brilliant! The songs were amazing!"
Yes, they are very uplifting, as if they are willing you to a higher place as well as rejoicing your life in this world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll get a load of my musician friends to sing me out, assuming they outlive me...
The only chance of that is if you know most of the St Winifred's School Choir
I have a bunch of musical friends, younger than me, who have been known to play a bit of church music. I also know a Cathedral director of music, so it should be doable
That's cool, although I'm an agnostic, I love listening to some of the black gospel choirs.
When my friend passed on her bucket list was to go to a gospel church, so if we went and it was brilliant! The songs were amazing!"
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"I don't want hymns personally. But I said I want Siberian Breaks by MGMT and Talk Tonight by Oasis when I go through to the other side."
Being as your name is AntiMatter, I assume that you'll be off to the Dark Side anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want hymns personally. But I said I want Siberian Breaks by MGMT and Talk Tonight by Oasis when I go through to the other side.
Being as your name is AntiMatter, I assume that you'll be off to the Dark Side anyway "
Everything is dark when you close your eyes for the last time  . |
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"I don't want hymns personally. But I said I want Siberian Breaks by MGMT and Talk Tonight by Oasis when I go through to the other side.
Being as your name is AntiMatter, I assume that you'll be off to the Dark Side anyway
Everything is dark when you close your eyes for the last time ."
How about the light at the end of the tunnel?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d want some of those classics we used to belt out in assembly.
I think it was ‘all over the world’ and there was another one I recall about building.
Hang on just realised I won’t actually be there..,,. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always liked "Oh Jesus I have promised" to the up beat tune.
"
I still remember some of the words, from my school days.
It's a family tradition to have Abide with me at our funerals.
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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago
Wiltshire and London |
Crumbs, I never thought there would be a hymns thread on fabs.
Seems to me that there are generally two sides of the coin - dirges and happy-clappy, neither with any great theological fibre to them. |
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"Always liked "Oh Jesus I have promised" to the up beat tune.
I still remember some of the words, from my school days.
It's a family tradition to have Abide with me at our funerals.
"
Oh Jesus I have promised
to serve thee to the end
with thou for ever near me
my master and my friend
I shall not fear the battle
with thou by my side
or wander from the pathway
with thou as my guide
that's if correct what I remember |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here’s a few I might use
Be Not Afraid
https://youtu.be/dWpG7qHtB8g
On Eagle’s Wings
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
The Lord is my shepherd
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Here’s a few I might use
Be Not Afraid
https://youtu.be/dWpG7qHtB8g
On Eagle’s Wings
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
The Lord is my shepherd
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
"
I’ll have a listen in the morning. I know I want ones that hopefully are ‘common’ so everyone should have a chance to belt them out, nothing worse than standing there (as I was last week) not knowing the hymns, I at least like to know the tunes lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always liked "Oh Jesus I have promised" to the up beat tune.
I still remember some of the words, from my school days.
It's a family tradition to have Abide with me at our funerals.
Oh Jesus I have promised
to serve thee to the end
with thou for ever near me
my master and my friend
I shall not fear the battle
with thou by my side
or wander from the pathway
with thou as my guide
that's if correct what I remember"
I remember something like:
Oh speak to reassure me
Uphold me to the end
Oh speak and make me listen
My guardian and my friend.
It was a long time ago though, I could be wrong about some words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here’s a few I might use
Be Not Afraid
https://youtu.be/dWpG7qHtB8g
On Eagle’s Wings
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
The Lord is my shepherd
https://youtu.be/MvpjxfWrjzY
I’ll have a listen in the morning. I know I want ones that hopefully are ‘common’ so everyone should have a chance to belt them out, nothing worse than standing there (as I was last week) not knowing the hymns, I at least like to know the tunes lol x"
In all likelihood these wouldn’t be well known, but I think they are beautiful hymns.,. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crumbs, I never thought there would be a hymns thread on fabs.
Seems to me that there are generally two sides of the coin - dirges and happy-clappy, neither with any great theological fibre to them."
What about pomp? Ride on, and Onward Christian Soldiers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fiancé had a non religious service and had music he loved, he was carried into the Imperial march ( he was wearing his Darth Vader onsie). My mum's service was non religious too but had 2 hymns as we are a rugby family so had to have Swing low and Jarusalem...not actually sure what I would have...I am pretty crap at chosing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been wondering if it was possible for me just to get cremated. No funeral service whatsoever."
Yes that's possible, I have worked in funeral trade and it does happen XXX |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
At our father's funeral 13 yrs ago my Brother & I went Neutral (our father thought funerals were a load of mumbo jumbo!).
Due to our Scottish heritage plus something we knew he loved, he had "Amazing Grace" (Judy Collins version) during the service and for the coffin going into the cremation pit, we had the "Love Theme" from the film "Braveheart" playing.
Not a dry eye in the place. Other relatives in Scotland adopted these two songs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id like Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace. Id also like some of my fav songs played. Mostly though id like my family to chose as funerals are really for those still alive to sau goodbye.
I really like When A Knight Won His Spurs but its not really suitable for a funeral. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id like Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace. Id also like some of my fav songs played. Mostly though id like my family to chose as funerals are really for those still alive to sau goodbye.
I really like When A Knight Won His Spurs but its not really suitable for a funeral."
Say* |
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No hymns at mine,
Black parade (my chemical romance) coming in.
Wet Paint (the muppets) to lighten the mood.
Hometown (Andy burrows) to bring everyone down again.
Finally, Sound of silence (disturbed version) turned up loud.
Lambrini girl has no requests other than she wants barbie girl by Aqua!!! |
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My dad (when a young copper) was with a wizened old colleague at a local dignitary’s funeral procession and they played the music to the old Hovis TV ad. He asked “why are they playing that” and was told...”Because he’s brown bread son, because he’s brown bread”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No hymns just hearse! And no funeral if I get my way. Just a cremation.
I'd like people to attend the scattering of my ashes and I will leave enough money in an account for a party and to cover anyone's traveling and overnight costs that may want to help give me a good send off but struggle financially. I don't care what music they play, I'll be busy elsewhere. As long as there is music and dancing and d*unkenness and fun, perhaps the odd tear... I'm cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my mate died, a real Star Wars fan, we buried him on May the Fourth, and they brought his coffin in to the Star Wars theme. That was a real "don't whether to laugh or cry" moment. I think I did a combination of both!
Mr B |
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"No hymns just hearse! And no funeral if I get my way. Just a cremation.
I'd like people to attend the scattering of my ashes and I will leave enough money in an account for a party and to cover anyone's traveling and overnight costs that may want to help give me a good send off but struggle financially. I don't care what music they play, I'll be busy elsewhere. As long as there is music and dancing and d*unkenness and fun, perhaps the odd tear... I'm cool."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No hymns just hearse! And no funeral if I get my way. Just a cremation.
I'd like people to attend the scattering of my ashes and I will leave enough money in an account for a party and to cover anyone's traveling and overnight costs that may want to help give me a good send off but struggle financially. I don't care what music they play, I'll be busy elsewhere. As long as there is music and dancing and d*unkenness and fun, perhaps the odd tear... I'm cool.
"
My Dad’s funeral was similar. Crematorium only, Jerusalem in the Service (rugby man!) and a couple of other songs played. His eulogy contained a lengthy joke, which was the last email he ever sent me & there was a lot of laughing & smiles - as well as some tears. I put £500 behind the bar because I knew that’s what he wanted to happen. It was on a Friday at 12pm, so everyone could travel, get d*unk & not worry about it. The wake was in our family’s local & the last ones to leave staggered out of the door around 1am, so 12 hours after we started. It was a thoroughly fantastic day & he’d have loved every second of it. Still miss him beyond words now, 5 years down the line - but I’m always glad that he had the send off he deserved
M x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've thought about mine and I want to host it. Record a video, no religious bollocks from some prat I'd never of met. No mention of God at all. Some very inappropriate music and jokes, not a hymn in sight |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've thought about mine and I want to host it. Record a video, no religious bollocks from some prat I'd never of met. No mention of God at all. Some very inappropriate music and jokes, not a hymn in sight"
That’s exactly what my friend had! It was brilliant! (And sad at the same time).
Geeky x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have my music choices worked out but as I won't be there my family may decide to go in a different direction.
One of my hymns is hardly sung now and few people will know it. My sister would probably include it, even though she isn't religious, as she knows how much I love it. At least with Jerusalem everyone will be able to join in. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I have my music choices worked out but as I won't be there my family may decide to go in a different direction.
One of my hymns is hardly sung now and few people will know it. My sister would probably include it, even though she isn't religious, as she knows how much I love it. At least with Jerusalem everyone will be able to join in."
I'm northern, therefore Jerusalem is compulsory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mums cremation service was very reigious, she wasn't in the least, but her partner was and ultimately though I was present in person whilst it was arranged, I wasn't much there at all. Can't remember the hymns or readings off the top of my head, but it all smacked a bit of "old lady" which she never was.
For myself - I want no service, simply shoved into the fire by a worker, I want my cremation arranged by a solicitor or other professional and I want it done in secret so on the day theres no guilt/sadness/numbness for my loved ones. I don't want a wake either. I just want to be. I just want my family to carry on with life.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have my music choices worked out but as I won't be there my family may decide to go in a different direction.
One of my hymns is hardly sung now and few people will know it. My sister would probably include it, even though she isn't religious, as she knows how much I love it. At least with Jerusalem everyone will be able to join in.
I'm northern, therefore Jerusalem is compulsory. "
Yours is the last funeral I would expect to hear a hymn. 
Jerusalem is on my list, along with with Unsung Psalm, Tracy Chapman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyzTqv5fMsw) and Allegri's Miserere (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36Y_ztEW1NE) and the hymn no one will know.
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I have my music choices worked out but as I won't be there my family may decide to go in a different direction.
One of my hymns is hardly sung now and few people will know it. My sister would probably include it, even though she isn't religious, as she knows how much I love it. At least with Jerusalem everyone will be able to join in.
I'm northern, therefore Jerusalem is compulsory.
Yours is the last funeral I would expect to hear a hymn.
Jerusalem is on my list, along with with Unsung Psalm, Tracy Chapman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyzTqv5fMsw) and Allegri's Miserere (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36Y_ztEW1NE) and the hymn no one will know.
"
I wouldn't want it to be played, but that's not how "compulsory" works.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My mums cremation service was very reigious, she wasn't in the least, but her partner was and ultimately though I was present in person whilst it was arranged, I wasn't much there at all. Can't remember the hymns or readings off the top of my head, but it all smacked a bit of "old lady" which she never was.
For myself - I want no service, simply shoved into the fire by a worker, I want my cremation arranged by a solicitor or other professional and I want it done in secret so on the day theres no guilt/sadness/numbness for my loved ones. I don't want a wake either. I just want to be. I just want my family to carry on with life.
"
This is a lovely idea but speaking from a personal point of view, a resident of mine didn’t have a funeral and just wanted everyone to get on with life but I know from his family and us that cared for him there was like this huge gap that we didn’t get to say goodbye so sometimes it isn’t for the person that died, it’s closure for everyone left behind. That’s why a memorial service would be a good idea xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My mums cremation service was very reigious, she wasn't in the least, but her partner was and ultimately though I was present in person whilst it was arranged, I wasn't much there at all. Can't remember the hymns or readings off the top of my head, but it all smacked a bit of "old lady" which she never was.
For myself - I want no service, simply shoved into the fire by a worker, I want my cremation arranged by a solicitor or other professional and I want it done in secret so on the day theres no guilt/sadness/numbness for my loved ones. I don't want a wake either. I just want to be. I just want my family to carry on with life.
This is a lovely idea but speaking from a personal point of view, a resident of mine didn’t have a funeral and just wanted everyone to get on with life but I know from his family and us that cared for him there was like this huge gap that we didn’t get to say goodbye so sometimes it isn’t for the person that died, it’s closure for everyone left behind. That’s why a memorial service would be a good idea xx"
Funerals aren't for the dead. Their a rite for the living that aids the transition to a life without the deceased.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see what you are both saying.
However not everybody needs or wants that last goodbye. I understood my mum wasn't coming back, I didn't need 3 sleepless nights gut aching about having to say goodbye, how I should feel, how I should behave. I didn't need the feeling of nausea and wanting to crash or leap out of the car to stop me even getting there. I didn't need to see how small her coffin was up close and personal. I didn't want to listen to some stranger bleat on about her as if she knew her and get it all wrong because of course she didn't know her. I also didn't want to sit and feel a gut wrenching guilt that I was walking out of the crematorium whilst they burnt her body and crushed her bones.
Her death, the fact I could no longer pick up the phone and chat, the fact her house felt void and empty, all smacked of goodbye.
I lost my mum on my wedding day, just before the service, I told my 4 beautiful kids their nan who meant the world to them died at midnight when we got home because someone had let slip to the eldest at the wedding reception.
I don't want people feeling all the horrible emotions I went through because I had to go and say goodbye because it was expected, I'd regret it if I didnt. I don't want that for my loved ones. They can say goodbye to me in the way they feel necessary, individually or as a family - be it scattering my ashes where we've good memories, raising money for charity, or just having a bbq and raising a glass of malibu they're a creative bunch and they'll know what the best way for them is when the time comes.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can see what you are both saying.
However not everybody needs or wants that last goodbye. I understood my mum wasn't coming back, I didn't need 3 sleepless nights gut aching about having to say goodbye, how I should feel, how I should behave. I didn't need the feeling of nausea and wanting to crash or leap out of the car to stop me even getting there. I didn't need to see how small her coffin was up close and personal. I didn't want to listen to some stranger bleat on about her as if she knew her and get it all wrong because of course she didn't know her. I also didn't want to sit and feel a gut wrenching guilt that I was walking out of the crematorium whilst they burnt her body and crushed her bones.
Her death, the fact I could no longer pick up the phone and chat, the fact her house felt void and empty, all smacked of goodbye.
I lost my mum on my wedding day, just before the service, I told my 4 beautiful kids their nan who meant the world to them died at midnight when we got home because someone had let slip to the eldest at the wedding reception.
I don't want people feeling all the horrible emotions I went through because I had to go and say goodbye because it was expected, I'd regret it if I didnt. I don't want that for my loved ones. They can say goodbye to me in the way they feel necessary, individually or as a family - be it scattering my ashes where we've good memories, raising money for charity, or just having a bbq and raising a glass of malibu they're a creative bunch and they'll know what the best way for them is when the time comes.
"
I don’t have any words, you explained it beautifully x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chose the hymns for my mum's funeral a few years back.
My mum was a church attendee, and I chose Dear Lord And Father Of Mankind, plus The Day Thou' Givest Lord Has Ended.
For my own part, a bit of Nick Cave, New Model Army and as the curtains close on the coffin, Old Ned, which us the theme tune of Steptoe & Son, all seem appropriate to me. |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I had to pick the 3 songs for hubby's funeral. Hardest thing I've had to do, but fucked if he'd have wanted any hymns. He got a few of his favourite songs:
In: Another brick in the wall (pt 1)
Shake it all about: Itchycoo park
Out: Mr blue sky.
For me.. if I absolutely have to have a funeral:
In: sh-boom.
Shake it all about: I don't want to set the world on fire.
Out: Anarchy in the UK.
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