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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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want spanked. Or my hair pulled. Or my face slapped.
I don't want a "dominant" man.
Why is this a thing now? Why do guys message saying things like this? Is it becoming "the norm"?
What happened to mutual pleasure, the give and take of control? Where did this assumption that I want a random stranger to physically abuse me just because I'm female come from?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.
Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.
Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!! "
That's the thing, in the heat of the moment with someone I know and trust then yeah, maybe. But I don't want to meet someone with those intentions only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's most likely derived from the rise of violent porn, blokes thinking that's what girls want and the need to feel in charge plus they don't do anything dangerous in their lives or jobs and don't understand pain just plain HURTS.
A light tickle might be nice though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's most likely derived from the rise of violent porn, blokes thinking that's what girls want and the need to feel in charge plus they don't do anything dangerous in their lives or jobs and don't understand pain just plain HURTS.
A light tickle might be nice though"
I would second that. The flavour at the moment is rough sex porn and that is where some (not all) guys do get there knowledge on what women want during sex.
Sex is about enjoyment and both must enjoying. Empowering someone is not fun for both parties, saying that, I'm guessing if they are talking about rough sex on the outset, your opinion/needs would not matter. It's about them and always will be. |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
I quite like hair pulling and spanking, but a first message that told me that’s what they wanted to do to me would not be welcome.
Don’t slap my face though, unless you expect to get slapped right back!
And as for tickling...  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think it comes down to the negative side of the internet opening out knowledge of areas of sexuality like BDSM - before the internet BDSM was very much a niche area of sexuality that was enjoyed and practiced by a minority.
Since then, and with the addition of things like 50 Shades and it's plethora of copycats, that have bought BDSM (or a version of it) into the mainstream - on the one hand it's opened it out to a wider audience who may not have enjoyed or even known about it previously but on the negative side it's left it open, to those without a knowledge or understanding of what it means, to think it's acceptable to act in the way you've described and think it's what all women want. Which couldn't be further from the truth.
Unfortunately now it's out of the box I'm not sure there's an easy way to put it back in - so sadly deleting and blocking and hoping that threads like this serve to educate are the only ways forward for now, on here at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.
There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.
There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk
"
Are you a dominant man? |
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"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.
There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk
Are you a dominant man? "
Pfft.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.
There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk
"
Hence my use of quotation marks. I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's just a thing that some are into. Any kink can seem ridiculous if you're not into it. The golden rule is it has to be consensual or it's abusive ..."
Yeah I'm not questioning that some are into it. More the assumption a lot of men make that all women are. |
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I don't think it's any different to the "I want to lick your fussy for hours messages" we sometimes get.
Men often have a difficult time on fab when it comes to making contact. Some try and appeal by setting out their sexual wares. It works for some and not others but you can't blame them for trying. |
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"It's just a thing that some are into. Any kink can seem ridiculous if you're not into it. The golden rule is it has to be consensual or it's abusive ...
Yeah I'm not questioning that some are into it. More the assumption a lot of men make that all women are. "
I would tend to assume women are generally not into it. But I agree, in the current climate I'm probably in a minority ... |
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"Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.
Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!! "
I have no doms/masters etc on my single profile,but like everything it gets ignored
Miss |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"I quite like hair pulling and spanking, but a first message that told me that’s what they wanted to do to me would not be welcome.
Don’t slap my face though, unless you expect to get slapped right back!
And as for tickling... "
Totally agree  xx |
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I think it's a relic from some porn, where we are accessories for their solo wank expansion into the real world or to complement their inadequacies. They've grown up a bit from their childhood toys where they played toughboy roles as all-conquering master of the universe or something. They'll now extend it out of their solitary bedroom playing to have women to treat roughly -we're obviously all needy to submit to such tough  men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it. "
Yep, this. 
I don't even mention that I'm submissive on here anymore, as that leads to the assumption that I really enjoy pain and being humiliated.  |
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"I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it.
Yep, this.
I don't even mention that I'm submissive on here anymore, as that leads to the assumption that I really enjoy pain and being humiliated. "
^ May I just say you have the best username in Fab !!  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
If I've got to the point that sex is on the cards we usually chat about likes/dislikes etc so I'm not put in this kind of situation.
I didn't have that chat with my last encounter so when he slapped me around the face I was a bit and thought if he does that again his teeth are going to hit the back of his throat!!
He turned out to be a bit of a CG wannabe so I ended up blocking him.
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I couldn’t slap you, I would tickle you 
Xxx
