FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I never play on a first meet
I never play on a first meet
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?"
Lack of chemistry is probably high up there as a reason... I wont drop my drawers for any ole Tom Dick or Fanny ya know!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?"
Some people like to suss others out, perhaps even build a bit of chemistry before removing ones attire.
Perhaps they want to ensure they are who they say they are and give either of
Both parties a chance to reconsider should they wish
Perhaps they just don't want to come across as slutish for dropping their knickers within an hour of meeting someone? |
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"Why do you ask op?
I think it's just seeing it mentioned quite a bit got me interested 
"
Oh right.
Well, I like restrainst etc and I can't relax and enjoy that with someone the first time we meet them. Also if we ever decide to meet a sub guy we wouldn't want or expect him to play that way with us on a first meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
Lack of chemistry is probably high up there as a reason... I wont drop my drawers for any ole Tom Dick or Fanny ya know! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?"
Ah okay, I imagine most people would want to see if there is an attraction and chemistry in person. There is no pressure if the first meet is just social. |
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"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me  "
Quite a few answers are similar to this but what about if you do fancy them and they fancy you? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me "
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to tease on initial meet. It's all about the greater part of the game. Leaving a woman REALLY wanting you and GAGGING for you leads to mind blowing sex again. And again and again....
But that's just my opinion |
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"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up"
Exactly
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal' "
I think people put it in their profile just so it lowers expectations and they don’t feel obligated but most will just go with the flow.For example Ive played with people in clubs first after chatting for about 30 minutes and read on their profile that they never play on a first meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again."
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up
Exactly
"
Because we do hotel meets which have to be arranged for a mutually suitable date, besides which Costa management seem to look unfavourably on shagging on the tables. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I meet somewhere public for a coffee and then, if all goes well - both ways, would book a hotel for another time. It builds up the anticipation more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I call bull shit on this you find the right person right time good chemistry your getting busy espesially if it was arranged on here as sex is generally the prefered result from both partys otherwise you would just go out with ya mates i may be wròng but i dont buy it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
What?! As in they MEAN what they say?!!  "
So is it breaking the rulrs if you meet for 10 mins one of u goes gets car and meet again when got car cos that would be 2nd meet in my book |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was a bit weird when I was single, I only ever had socials with guys I knew nothing was going to go further than maybe a kiss in the car park, I only ever met guys to play with there and then, maybe that makes me a bad person I have know idea, I’ve met at their houses and in cars etc and probably put myself in great risk.
The only time I’ve really felt like ‘oh shit’ (apart from when I was on an actual date) was when I went to a guys house in the middle of nowhere and didn’t tell anyone, he was rebuilding a house and he had his flat thing at the top of the building and no one would think he was there, he also said he was ten years younger on his profile (he had face pics etc) and clearly he was getting on a bit, weirdest meet ever, we had sex a couple of times and then sat and watched the X factor. I never had repeat meets.
Geeky x |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up
Exactly
Because we do hotel meets which have to be arranged for a mutually suitable date, besides which Costa management seem to look unfavourably on shagging on the tables."
I am not questioning how you play as that is your choice so just answering your post, but if you are doing a social isn't that a mutual date? Hotels have rooms you can book if things go OK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id just like to add the reason why I always went straight to the sex, I was always worried if we met for a social they wouldn’t want to have sex with me at a later date so stopped any of that before it started. I didn’t have a that much self esteem as I do now. If I was single now I wouldn’t do that because I know I’m worth more than just a quick fuck in the back of a car!
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up
Exactly
Because we do hotel meets which have to be arranged for a mutually suitable date, besides which Costa management seem to look unfavourably on shagging on the tables.
I am not questioning how you play as that is your choice so just answering your post, but if you are doing a social isn't that a mutual date? Hotels have rooms you can book if things go OK"
We don't have endless free time for such spontaneity. A coffee meet is half an hour . |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
Surely you would just say no
I usually have a social first because of the reason above.
"
Yes I guessed. What I asked was surely you could say no even if you had said you were going to play on a first meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call bull shit on this you find the right person right time good chemistry your getting busy espesially if it was arranged on here as sex is generally the prefered result from both partys otherwise you would just go out with ya mates i may be wròng but i dont buy it"
I think men and women may view this differently. Besides it’s not saying no one plays first meet, its asking why some don’t. |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?"
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
Surely you would just say no
I usually have a social first because of the reason above.
Yes I guessed. What I asked was surely you could say no even if you had said you were going to play on a first meet"
This is likely to lead to a negative reaction from some. |
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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago
Uptown Top Ranking |
"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
Some people like to suss others out, perhaps even build a bit of chemistry before removing ones attire.
Perhaps they want to ensure they are who they say they are and give either of
Both parties a chance to reconsider should they wish
Perhaps they just don't want to come across as slutish for dropping their knickers within an hour of meeting someone? "
|
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"I call bull shit on this you find the right person right time good chemistry your getting busy espesially if it was arranged on here as sex is generally the prefered result from both partys otherwise you would just go out with ya mates i may be wròng but i dont buy it"
I used to meet people hoping the chemistry would be there, but only happened with one and we went elsewhere to have sex. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
"
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
We always do a social meet first but having said that myself and Fooey ended up staying together the first time we met 
Completely unplanned, we lost track of time and his car got locked into the car park overnight
Madame B |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
Surely you would just say no
I usually have a social first because of the reason above.
Yes I guessed. What I asked was surely you could say no even if you had said you were going to play on a first meet"
I guess I could yes. My preference is for guys who can accomadate though and I wouldn't put myself in that situation without checking them out over a drink first. Safety first!! |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
"
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol) |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I call bull shit on this you find the right person right time good chemistry your getting busy espesially if it was arranged on here as sex is generally the prefered result from both partys otherwise you would just go out with ya mates i may be wròng but i dont buy it"
Strange attitude...but I guess you are a newbie. I will meet guys socially and spend a couple of hours getting to know them in a safe, public place. Then if the chemistry is right, I would arrange to meet for sex.
Whether you are a single person or a couple, inviting someone to your house that you don't know can lead to trouble. I still shudder at the thought of the guy who knocked on my door as I was dishing up Sunday lunch to my kids to enquire why he could no longer find me on fab.
The no play on the first meet is some people's preference. For me it's about safety and taking the pressure off the first meet. |
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"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not "
agreed but then your expectation or understanding would be that if one party or both in a couple said no thanks not for me/us then the other party(ies) would be accepting of and respect that..
too often on here there is a sense of entitlement exhibited by some and in leaving it as a possibility of play then saying no there will albeit a minority be umbrage..
if its clear before that its a social then there will be no expectations.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps they just don't want to come across as slutish for dropping their knickers within an hour of meeting someone?
I am amazed at some of the comments on here but this one is "
i must be a slut then as has been known 5 mins in a socical at mine |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
Surely you would just say no
I usually have a social first because of the reason above.
Yes I guessed. What I asked was surely you could say no even if you had said you were going to play on a first meet
I guess I could yes. My preference is for guys who can accomadate though and I wouldn't put myself in that situation without checking them out over a drink first. Safety first!! "
Very wise, at least there are two of us so things are different |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)"
surely the answers are many and some people may wish to keep them private..
she is quick off the mark.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say this?
This is a serious question. I am interested in peoples answers
Steve
"
I don't because removing your clothes in the cafe is frowned upon round here XXX |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not
agreed but then your expectation or understanding would be that if one party or both in a couple said no thanks not for me/us then the other party(ies) would be accepting of and respect that..
too often on here there is a sense of entitlement exhibited by some and in leaving it as a possibility of play then saying no there will albeit a minority be umbrage..
if its clear before that its a social then there will be no expectations.."
I am a hard bitch, I would say tough shit if someone complained. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)"
 Sorry |
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"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not
agreed but then your expectation or understanding would be that if one party or both in a couple said no thanks not for me/us then the other party(ies) would be accepting of and respect that..
too often on here there is a sense of entitlement exhibited by some and in leaving it as a possibility of play then saying no there will albeit a minority be umbrage..
if its clear before that its a social then there will be no expectations..
I am a hard bitch, I would say tough shit if someone complained. "
granted but other's if they are new to this may feel less inclined to say similar.. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not
agreed but then your expectation or understanding would be that if one party or both in a couple said no thanks not for me/us then the other party(ies) would be accepting of and respect that..
too often on here there is a sense of entitlement exhibited by some and in leaving it as a possibility of play then saying no there will albeit a minority be umbrage..
if its clear before that its a social then there will be no expectations..
I am a hard bitch, I would say tough shit if someone complained.
granted but other's if they are new to this may feel less inclined to say similar.."
In which case I would say this game isn't for them that they can't refuse people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends if the pre-meet messages and pictures are interesting enough then the meet is just to confirm that they're not fakers and s out timewasters who don't turn up.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call bull shit on this you find the right person right time good chemistry your getting busy espesially if it was arranged on here as sex is generally the prefered result from both partys otherwise you would just go out with ya mates i may be wròng but i dont buy it
Strange attitude...but I guess you are a newbie. I will meet guys socially and spend a couple of hours getting to know them in a safe, public place. Then if the chemistry is right, I would arrange to meet for sex.
Whether you are a single person or a couple, inviting someone to your house that you don't know can lead to trouble. I still shudder at the thought of the guy who knocked on my door as I was dishing up Sunday lunch to my kids to enquire why he could no longer find me on fab.
The no play on the first meet is some people's preference. For me it's about safety and taking the pressure off the first meet. "
What im saying is if the moments right anyone will get with anyone regardless of what it says on there profile not saying you should meet and say not happening fella your a divvi or anything |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)
surely the answers are many and some people may wish to keep them private..
she is quick off the mark.."
Of course they can, by not answering the question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer a social meet somewhere neutral first.
If we don't click, we both have the option of walking away with pride intact.
If we do click, there is always the option to arrange a second meeting whenever suits both of us.
If you are the type of person to move on because we click and haven't played within a certain amount of time, I'm not the kind of guy you are looking for.
Some things are worth waiting for. Putting pressure to play at the forefront is unappealing. Just go with the flow, whatever happens. |
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"How does this rule/standard apply to people in clubs?
Madame B"
I would guess that people that were adamant about not playing probably wouldn't go to a club.
For anyone that does go to a club it probably wouldn't be mentioned anyway. |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)
surely the answers are many and some people may wish to keep them private..
she is quick off the mark..
Of course they can, by not answering the question "
or the other person/people can simply respect that its their preference to meet socially in the initial and not ask them why they don't want to come back to wherever during or after the social..
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"How does this rule/standard apply to people in clubs?
Madame B"
I think more people would be inclined to play on a first meet in clubs. But some only play after meeting people a few times. Everyone have different expectations and preferences
As a single lady , I am more likely to play after an hour's chat. I feel safer in a club , knowing there are people about if a guy got rough or anything I was unhappy about. I an usually a good judge of character, but it's reassuring . |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)
surely the answers are many and some people may wish to keep them private..
she is quick off the mark..
Of course they can, by not answering the question
or the other person/people can simply respect that its their preference to meet socially in the initial and not ask them why they don't want to come back to wherever during or after the social..
"
I don't think anyone is asking anyone to change their preferences or to explain why they don't want to fuck Tom, Dick or Harriet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal' I think people put it in their profile just so it lowers expectations and they don’t feel obligated but most will just go with the flow.For example Ive played with people in clubs first after chatting for about 30 minutes and read on their profile that they never play on a first meet"
I think a cub environment is a lot different than meeting privately as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's because it's excatly what they want,it's what suits them and they want to see if there's any click chemistry to take it further at a later date.Everyones different but In our eyes it's the best way even if it's a club meet there have a drink and chat,if your all happy and it's mutual you have lots of places to play in *Mr x |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
does it matter why, just accept they like you have preferences..
I was interested in their reasoning
(And I haven't run away from the thread but Rugby keeps answering people with roughly the same comments before I can lol)
surely the answers are many and some people may wish to keep them private..
she is quick off the mark..
Of course they can, by not answering the question
or the other person/people can simply respect that its their preference to meet socially in the initial and not ask them why they don't want to come back to wherever during or after the social..
I don't think anyone is asking anyone to change their preferences or to explain why they don't want to fuck Tom, Dick or Harriet."
then there is no need to be asking the question as you said earlier..
never mentioned anything about anyone asking others to change their preferences? |
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal' I think people put it in their profile just so it lowers expectations and they don’t feel obligated but most will just go with the flow.For example Ive played with people in clubs first after chatting for about 30 minutes and read on their profile that they never play on a first meet
I think a cub environment is a lot different than meeting privately as well. "
A club environment is entirely different to a private meet.
For a lot of single ladies a club is seen as a safe space. There is much less risk involved in meeting someone at a club because of all the other guests and club security.
We can remain completely anonymous and don't need to reveal any personal information at all. Anyone we meet won't even know which part of the country we live in if we choose not to tell them.
There is always an element of risk meeting a complete stranger privately, no matter how well you vet them and how long you chat beforehand. |
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"
or the other person/people can simply respect that its their preference to meet socially in the initial and not ask them why they don't want to come back to wherever during or after the social..
I don't think anyone is asking anyone to change their preferences or to explain why they don't want to fuck Tom, Dick or Harriet.
then there is no need to be asking the question as you said earlier..
never mentioned anything about anyone asking others to change their preferences?"
Ok I'll re-phrase
I don't think anyone is disrespecting their preferences or asking them why they don't want to come back to wherever during or after the social.. |
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal'
Couldn't you just tell them that?"
It's embarrassing, and sometimes quite stressful to do that, so I try to make it clear that if I meet for a social it is just a social, I want to go away and sleep on it before I decide.
That stops any sense of entitlement on their part, and stops me making a rash decision I might regret. But it also cuts out most nsa 'quick shag' players. They lose interest if they know there is no chance of a fuck, and that's what I want them to do!! I am after an ongoing friendship nowadays, and if we don't get on enough to enjoy a purely social evening first then they are never going to become that anyway.
Besides, I like knowing why I am leaving the house too - totally different underwear required!!  |
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal'
Couldn't you just tell them that?
It's embarrassing, and sometimes quite stressful to do that, so I try to make it clear that if I meet for a social it is just a social, I want to go away and sleep on it before I decide.
That stops any sense of entitlement on their part, and stops me making a rash decision I might regret. But it also cuts out most nsa 'quick shag' players. They lose interest if they know there is no chance of a fuck, and that's what I want them to do!! I am after an ongoing friendship nowadays, and if we don't get on enough to enjoy a purely social evening first then they are never going to become that anyway.
Besides, I like knowing why I am leaving the house too - totally different underwear required!! "
It was your post on the thread about travel that inspired this one |
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal'
Couldn't you just tell them that?
It's embarrassing, and sometimes quite stressful to do that, so I try to make it clear that if I meet for a social it is just a social, I want to go away and sleep on it before I decide.
That stops any sense of entitlement on their part, and stops me making a rash decision I might regret. But it also cuts out most nsa 'quick shag' players. They lose interest if they know there is no chance of a fuck, and that's what I want them to do!! I am after an ongoing friendship nowadays, and if we don't get on enough to enjoy a purely social evening first then they are never going to become that anyway.
Besides, I like knowing why I am leaving the house too - totally different underwear required!! "
Exactly this |
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"I don't play on a first meet because I might not fancy them enough to want to shag them.
'Any pole is not a goal'
Couldn't you just tell them that?
It's embarrassing, and sometimes quite stressful to do that, so I try to make it clear that if I meet for a social it is just a social, I want to go away and sleep on it before I decide.
That stops any sense of entitlement on their part, and stops me making a rash decision I might regret. But it also cuts out most nsa 'quick shag' players. They lose interest if they know there is no chance of a fuck, and that's what I want them to do!! I am after an ongoing friendship nowadays, and if we don't get on enough to enjoy a purely social evening first then they are never going to become that anyway.
Besides, I like knowing why I am leaving the house too - totally different underwear required!!
It was your post on the thread about travel that inspired this one "
Was it?? I'll have to go check what I said then!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up"
For me, I may fancy him enough at that moment, but I need to see how they behave when I leave the pub. Some bombard me with texts before I have drove from the car park, pestering to set a time and date for sex, despite me saying I would mail them the next day, and NOT to text me beforehand
Then the texts go on into the night and early morning. For me, that means they may be too much of a pest/needy to become involved with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Play lol that word makes me laugh.
Sex isn't playing.
Well for me it isn't anyway.if I have sex I don't play I give it my all.
Is it a swinger thing where if there's any comebacks then they can use the excuse.WE WAS ONLY PLAYING hahahahahaha.
SEX IS NOT PLAYING OK!!!
Sex has a serious face lol x
|
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"Play lol that word makes me laugh.
Sex isn't playing.
Well for me it isn't anyway.if I have sex I don't play I give it my all.
Is it a swinger thing where if there's any comebacks then they can use the excuse.WE WAS ONLY PLAYING hahahahahaha.
SEX IS NOT PLAYING OK!!!
Sex has a serious face lol x
"
Can we play  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Play lol that word makes me laugh.
Sex isn't playing.
Well for me it isn't anyway.if I have sex I don't play I give it my all.
Is it a swinger thing where if there's any comebacks then they can use the excuse.WE WAS ONLY PLAYING hahahahahaha.
SEX IS NOT PLAYING OK!!!
Sex has a serious face lol x
Can we play "
There's a new sand pit over the park and a slide lets go quick.Watch out though as all if those swingers have claimed the swings  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the Starbucks staff have told me they will ban me if it happens again.
Exactly, our first meet is usually a coffee shop like Costa or Starbucks, as our first meets are social, to see if there's chemistry -and that works both ways - so no spark, it goes no further and there's no harm done!
That can be done whether you intend to play on the day or not
agreed but then your expectation or understanding would be that if one party or both in a couple said no thanks not for me/us then the other party(ies) would be accepting of and respect that..
too often on here there is a sense of entitlement exhibited by some and in leaving it as a possibility of play then saying no there will albeit a minority be umbrage..
if its clear before that its a social then there will be no expectations.."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me personally I'm not constantly on the pill so need to take it for a full 7 days before having sex. I'm gonna stop bareback cos guys inject me with things that make me develop feelings.
Fuck that, arms length, rubber on, bish bash bosh, ta-ra, goodnight fucking Irene. No more Mrs nice trousers for me. |
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By *iffler 2019Woman
over a year ago
Saltash aka Fraggle Rock |
There are a number of factors for me.
1 I like to get to know the person first before I possibly drop my knickers.
2 Without any chemistry there my knickers stay on.
3 I have respect for myself and my body |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For many it's a true objection; they do not intend to play under any circumstances.
For others its a false objection, which can be overturned if they like what they see, and upheld if they don't. |
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Possibly everyone’s different I used to do socials in the past but generally felt I was there to provide the meet with another option.
Now if I’m invited for a social I insist it’s at a non dress down club or bar where we can meet on my way to a club that way if we’re not compatible there’s no time wasted and if we are I’m plus one for the night |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"For me personally I'm not constantly on the pill so need to take it for a full 7 days before having sex. I'm gonna stop bareback cos guys inject me with things that make me develop feelings.
Fuck that, arms length, rubber on, bish bash bosh, ta-ra, goodnight fucking Irene. No more Mrs nice trousers for me. "
 sounds like a good plan to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make it clear there will be absolutely sexual contact on a first meet, and anyone who objects to that is welcome to pass by.
This is so I can gauge how attracted and comfortable I feel with someone, and it's often become a way of ensuring someone is as they present themselves on Fab (and not using photos from 20 years ago!).
I need to book babysitters to allow me time to meet to play so I want to get a good feeling that someone is going to be worth the effort and cost.
So we meet in a coffee shop and chat for a while.
Those who push the boundaries for more than a peck on the cheek as we at goodbye show themselves to be the kind of person I wouldn't meet again, who wants to put themselves at risk with someone to can't take a no!! |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"How does this rule/standard apply to people in clubs?
Madame B
I think more people would be inclined to play on a first meet in clubs. But some only play after meeting people a few times. Everyone have different expectations and preferences
As a single lady , I am more likely to play after an hour's chat. I feel safer in a club , knowing there are people about if a guy got rough or anything I was unhappy about. I an usually a good judge of character, but it's reassuring ."
That's exactly why I asked that question. Safety is an issue. The standard is imposed for several reasons I feel. Safety and connection being the two main one's. To those saying it's about respecting yourself. The swinging lifestyle is in itself a promiscuous one regardless of how we dress it up in our head's. I respect myself, my body and my judgement. I have had sex in clubs and on a few rare first meets.
Madame B |
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"I make it clear there will be absolutely sexual contact on a first meet, and anyone who objects to that is welcome to pass by.
This is so I can gauge how attracted and comfortable I feel with someone, and it's often become a way of ensuring someone is as they present themselves on Fab (and not using photos from 20 years ago!).
I need to book babysitters to allow me time to meet to play so I want to get a good feeling that someone is going to be worth the effort and cost.
So we meet in a coffee shop and chat for a while.
Those who push the boundaries for more than a peck on the cheek as we at goodbye show themselves to be the kind of person I wouldn't meet again, who wants to put themselves at risk with someone to can't take a no!!"
I had one of those recently - it was like someone trying to force a cold wet fish into my mouth!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make it clear there will be absolutely sexual contact on a first meet, and anyone who objects to that is welcome to pass by.
This is so I can gauge how attracted and comfortable I feel with someone, and it's often become a way of ensuring someone is as they present themselves on Fab (and not using photos from 20 years ago!).
I need to book babysitters to allow me time to meet to play so I want to get a good feeling that someone is going to be worth the effort and cost.
So we meet in a coffee shop and chat for a while.
Those who push the boundaries for more than a peck on the cheek as we at goodbye show themselves to be the kind of person I wouldn't meet again, who wants to put themselves at risk with someone to can't take a no!!"
Exactly this for me too! No sex chat during the social- I meet somewhere public to see how they act and also how they behave afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because we don't know until we've met in person whether or not we want to.
Doesn't seem like rocket science to me
I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up
For me, I may fancy him enough at that moment, but I need to see how they behave when I leave the pub. Some bombard me with texts before I have drove from the car park, pestering to set a time and date for sex, despite me saying I would mail them the next day, and NOT to text me beforehand
Then the texts go on into the night and early morning. For me, that means they may be too much of a pest/needy to become involved with."
And this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we first started in this lifestyle, we always used to say that we didn’t play on the first meet. How many times did we break that rule? Lol. That being said, we will have spent a good few hours in the pub chatting and flirting, so whether we leave play to the end of the first meet or the beginning of the second meet, is inconsequential. And we also found that it could take sometimes 6 months for diaries to align again, so we concluded that we should have fun when the opportunity is there.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps they just don't want to come across as slutish for dropping their knickers within an hour of meeting someone?
I am amazed at some of the comments on here but this one is "
After an hour are you classed as hard to get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to do my homework well before I meet. Meet in the lobby for a quick hello, when either are free to run away screaming. Then off to the room. I'm a terrible slut obvs |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
As a rule no. I don’t acomm and I don’t want to go to theirs, so the social is to check if the chemistry is there and we can make plans after.
If has happened once though, I’m not going to cut my nose off to spite my face! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For it sounds about safety and also cost i est got endless amounts of money to contribue to hotels. When I first started on here a year ago I’d talk lol sexy to guys and they would obviously want sex and then when I met I didn’t fancy them and had to go through the embarrassment of saying er actually you’re bit for me talk about rejection and bruised prides. Plus the odd couple of guys who said well you promised and try to get me to change my mind i now I’m clear from the off. We will meet thats all I’m promising |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For it sounds about safety and also cost i est got endless amounts of money to contribue to hotels. When I first started on here a year ago I’d talk lol sexy to guys and they would obviously want sex and then when I met I didn’t fancy them and had to go through the embarrassment of saying er actually you’re bit for me talk about rejection and bruised prides. Plus the odd couple of guys who said well you promised and try to get me to change my mind i now I’m clear from the off. We will meet thats all I’m promising "
Oooos should have re read this before posting haha |
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"Because they don't play on the first meet?
OK maybe I should have asked
What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?
Because I don't like regrets "
Ahh but which is worse, regretting the things you have done or regretting the things you haven't? |
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"
Perhaps they just don't want to come across as slutish for dropping their knickers within an hour of meeting someone?
I am amazed at some of the comments on here but this one is
After an hour are you classed as hard to get "
30 minutes actually |
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