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Everybody lies
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable."
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends don't lie.
*One for the geeks
The T-shirt they've made is pretty damn cool too!  "
Did you see the Ghostbusters one? No lie (keeping it topical op ) awesome. Purchased one.  |
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’"
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"To lie you have to have an exceptional memory or you get caught out. Telling the truth is far easier even if it’s not what someone else wants to hear xx
B x"
I agree but there are times when everyone will succumb to a lying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends if your doing it for what you perceive as being a good reason I guess.
To save hurt, or to do something nice (surprise birthday as mentioned above)
It's probably more complicated than than but yeah |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What constitutes a lie?
Keeping secrets for a surprise, like getting Christmas presents?
Not explaining a shite relationship to a child who adored their step father?
I rarely lie, necessity only. "
Some things are done for the best intentions but can still come back a bite you on the bum.
Withholding information is an interesting area of lying. Someone I used to see regularly lied by omission. It would have been easier all round if he'd told the truth. |
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’"
Don’t forget I don’t like surprises |
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
When you lie you feel it is unacceptable but go ahead anyway?"
On the rare occasion that it does happen because my authenticity is compromised, for instance by being on a swingers site engaging in casual sex, then yes - I acknowledge that I have done something wrong. |
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I prefer to tell the truth as my memory is so bad I wouldn’t be able to remember what I said in the lie 
People lie for all sorts of reasons from covering their arse, expanding on a funny story, even to being malicious and rumour mungering, it’s not always right but it has its place for some. |
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"What constitutes a lie?
Keeping secrets for a surprise, like getting Christmas presents?
Not explaining a shite relationship to a child who adored their step father?
I rarely lie, necessity only.
Some things are done for the best intentions but can still come back a bite you on the bum.
Withholding information is an interesting area of lying. Someone I used to see regularly lied by omission. It would have been easier all round if he'd told the truth."
Sometimes witholding is deception, and sometimes it is not. But IMO there is a line, even if it is hard to identify sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO."
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To lie you have to have an exceptional memory or you get caught out. Telling the truth is far easier even if it’s not what someone else wants to hear xx
B x"
 |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO."
It demands a lot. I use the line that I will always answer truthfully unless I can't or won't, in which case I will choose silence. Which creates different issues about lies and consequences.
I hold other people's secrets. They are not mine to share and so I can't or won't answer some questions. |
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it "
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!! "
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!"
They aren't necessary no but they certainly help enrich |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
"
So harm is done. You have to be valuable to yourself too.
|
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
It demands a lot. I use the line that I will always answer truthfully unless I can't or won't, in which case I will choose silence. Which creates different issues about lies and consequences.
"
It does. I will remain silent if I have to. I just feel the value of honesty and integrity has become lost, to the detriment of our humanity. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
"
So harm is done. You have to be valuable to yourself too.
|
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Then there are people that seem incapable of the truth. My late husband was not great and I had a former colleague who were typical of this.
I wonder what age it starts. And why? They lie so much I think they start to believe the lies  |
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"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
"
So sit on my couch tell me why it is Ok to harm yourself young man...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
I did a year of answering truthfully. People visibly squirmed.
"
I can imagine, most people don't really want to know. It works for me, because I don't really want to tell them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Friends don't lie.
*One for the geeks
The T-shirt they've made is pretty damn cool too!
Did you see the Ghostbusters one? No lie (keeping it topical op ) awesome. Purchased one. "
And now I have t-shirt envy!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So harm is done. You have to be valuable to yourself too.
"
I agree, but at the same time, I see it as protecting myself and in a way protecting the other person, they don't need to see how fucked I am. |
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"Then there are people that seem incapable of the truth. My late husband was not great and I had a former colleague who were typical of this.
I wonder what age it starts. And why? They lie so much I think they start to believe the lies "
They do. By the time my ex and I parted he was delusional, there was virtually no truth left in him, it broke my heart. You become a slave to the one you obey. 
His mother left him when he was very young, his father abandoned him emotionally....that's all it takes sometimes.
And yes, it has left me very sensitive to all forms of falsehood, pretense and deception now, I cannot tolerate it. But i did also fall in love with truth - it is a glorious, beautiful, enobling, liberating thing. The truth really does set you free like nothing else.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then there are people that seem incapable of the truth. My late husband was not great and I had a former colleague who were typical of this.
I wonder what age it starts. And why? They lie so much I think they start to believe the lies
They do. By the time my ex and I parted he was delusional, there was virtually no truth left in him, it broke my heart. You become a slave to the one you obey.
His mother left him when he was very young, his father abandoned him emotionally....that's all it takes sometimes.
And yes, it has left me very sensitive to all forms of falsehood, pretense and deception now, I cannot tolerate it. But i did also fall in love with truth - it is a glorious, beautiful, enobling, liberating thing. The truth really does set you free like nothing else.
"
xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So sit on my couch tell me why it is Ok to harm yourself young man......"
I'm not saying it's okay, but i'll take self harm over hurting someone else |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Then there are people that seem incapable of the truth. My late husband was not great and I had a former colleague who were typical of this.
I wonder what age it starts. And why? They lie so much I think they start to believe the lies "
We start to experiment with lying very early. Pretending not to listen
or understanding we have to let smelly Aunty Mabel kiss us even though we don't want to. By the time we have even a tiny bit of language competence we will lie: I didn't touch the chocolate cake! (with chocolate smeared around the face). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish. |
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"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
I did a year of answering truthfully. People visibly squirmed.
I can imagine, most people don't really want to know. It works for me, because I don't really want to tell them. "
Sometimes I do. Doesn't go too well |
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TBH I think that by the very nature of being swingers - many of us have by necessity become liars - and it’s something that makes me sad!
When friends, family or work colleagues I’m fond of asked me what I did at the weekend- and I either had a fabulous time at a club or a great private meet with a really lovely guy - I can’t tell them - at least not the details!
Many of us have had to learn to lie/be evasive to people we like/love - and that’s one of the few things I don’t like about swinging! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So harm is done. You have to be valuable to yourself too.
I agree, but at the same time, I see it as protecting myself and in a way protecting the other person, they don't need to see how fucked I am."
Sometimes people are remarkably strong and willing to share that strength with others though. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So sit on my couch tell me why it is Ok to harm yourself young man......
I'm not saying it's okay, but i'll take self harm over hurting someone else"
I have spent a lifetime doing that. Don't end up like me. You really are too beautiful to become like me.
|
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish."
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish."
It can be, especially when you see the joy they experience at a "truth" being laid bare. |
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"Then there are people that seem incapable of the truth. My late husband was not great and I had a former colleague who were typical of this.
I wonder what age it starts. And why? They lie so much I think they start to believe the lies
We start to experiment with lying very early. Pretending not to listen
or understanding we have to let smelly Aunty Mabel kiss us even though we don't want to. By the time we have even a tiny bit of language competence we will lie: I didn't touch the chocolate cake! (with chocolate smeared around the face)."
you took me straight back to my 3 year old self.
My father following me down stairs, “have you been cutting your hair?”
No said I, with a big clump of cut hair on my left shoulder |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
Consent. If I know I'm being lied to. "You look nice.""
I see what you mean. That particular lie doesn't go down well with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish.
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it."
I think everyone is entitled to privacy and so if someone, like my mum, asks me what I did at the weekend and I was at a club, then I’m going to lie because I know the truth will hurt her and I wouldn’t hear the end of it and also because I don’t think I should have to tell her or anyone else anything that I don’t want to.
It’s far, far kinder to lie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So harm is done. You have to be valuable to yourself too.
I agree, but at the same time, I see it as protecting myself and in a way protecting the other person, they don't need to see how fucked I am.
Sometimes people are remarkably strong and willing to share that strength with others though. "
It takes strength to open up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So sit on my couch tell me why it is Ok to harm yourself young man......
I'm not saying it's okay, but i'll take self harm over hurting someone else
I have spent a lifetime doing that. Don't end up like me. You really are too beautiful to become like me.
"
There are a hell of a lot worse people to end up like |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
I think if you're planning a surprise for someone or something of a good nature then a wee white one is admissible. However when you start telling ones for no reason where does it stop and what happens to trust? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish.
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it.
I think everyone is entitled to privacy and so if someone, like my mum, asks me what I did at the weekend and I was at a club, then I’m going to lie because I know the truth will hurt her and I wouldn’t hear the end of it and also because I don’t think I should have to tell her or anyone else anything that I don’t want to.
It’s far, far kinder to lie."
It should be called something else other than lying, because in those type of situations it's perfectly justified I find. Where would you stop in giving every minute detail of your life and thoughts, in the interest of not lying to someone otherwise . |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"None are acceptable. If you have to lie then something is wrong with you or you're doing something someone wouldnt like.
Sp you live in never never land waiting for bread?"
In a metaphorical sense aye I exist in a little bubble hoping to fuck that one day someone with a decent bit about themself will unleash their dick on me.
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I found living a lie for so many years caused me a lot of pain. That’s something I won’t be repeating in a hurry and I’m much less tolerant. Within my new relationship being honest with and protective of each other is the only way it will survive  |
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"I found living a lie for so many years caused me a lot of pain. That’s something I won’t be repeating in a hurry and I’m much less tolerant. Within my new relationship being honest with and protective of each other is the only way it will survive "
Good for you - yes, living a lie is soul destroying. |
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish.
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it.
I think everyone is entitled to privacy and so if someone, like my mum, asks me what I did at the weekend and I was at a club, then I’m going to lie because I know the truth will hurt her and I wouldn’t hear the end of it and also because I don’t think I should have to tell her or anyone else anything that I don’t want to.
It’s far, far kinder to lie."
Most of the time people lie because it's easier on themselves though. When I was married and living a life of integrity I would not share details of my sex life with my mother, and were she to ask, I would have said 'I'm sorry Mum that's private'. Privacy is always allowed.
But that is what I mean when I say my life at the moment lacks authenticity because I am doing things I am ashamed of and not willing to admit to. Luckily for me I go dancing 'til 4am on a regular basis so my mother just assumed that's what I was doing. If she asked I could be nonspecific and say something like I went to a party or for a drink with a friend.
If I could find no way out and was forced to answer a straight question then on occasion I have lied - and that's why I say my integrity is compromised by my current lifestyle. I am not happy about it.
When going away for a weekend with someone new I tried to explain to my 90 year old Father the 'modern' concept of seeing more than one person, but he just could not grasp it. He met my mother at school and was faithful til she died last year. |
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish.
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it."
I agee, you don’t ever have to be brutal, I would rather be honest than forget what I’ve said in the past and spend half a conversation back peddling |
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"I think people who tell the truth no matter what the consequences don’t really care about other people’s feelings.
It’s to make themselves feel better that’s all and is in my opinion very selfish.
I think it's sad you feel that way. It is possible to tell the truth and still be kind to everyone - try it.
I think everyone is entitled to privacy and so if someone, like my mum, asks me what I did at the weekend and I was at a club, then I’m going to lie because I know the truth will hurt her and I wouldn’t hear the end of it and also because I don’t think I should have to tell her or anyone else anything that I don’t want to.
It’s far, far kinder to lie."
That’s not really being dishonest that is just stopping your mother being upset at your sex life, see it’s not all black and white |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lie to my grandchildren when I don't want the aggravation after telling the truth. It's when I'm too tired for the ensuing barrage of questions or strops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anybody who says they don't lie is a lying liary liar. And "I never lie" is one of the most common lies people tell.
Once again, research found that on average men lie six times a day and women three times a day. That's just an average, so let's not stereotype, because that's worse than lying in my book. Nobody stereotypes to avoid hurting somebody else's feelings.
Reseachers found the most common lies we tell:
I never lie.
I have read & agreed to the above Terms and Conditions.
I’m fine.
You look great in that dress.
I'm sick.
I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Don’t worry, it'll be okay.
Sorry, I forgot.
No problem.
I'll keep in touch.
My phone died.
I’ve been swamped lately.
I’m busy that day.
I love it.
Yeah, I’m listening.
I remember you.
Further research found 10% of people have lied to impress others. 35% of those liars lied to colleagues, 30% to attract a romantic partner and 20% to friends.
The most popular lies these amazing superheroes told:
Skydiving.
Meeting a celebrity.
Attending a cool music event.
Bungee jumping.
Being arrested/Spent time in jail.
School/University results.
Charity fundraising.
Attending a major sporting event.
Exotic travels.
Working in the armed forces.
Saving somebody's life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
The consequences"
Depends your moral stance ... for some the consequences justify the means ... for others the motivation excuses the consequences |
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"'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm fine, thanks'
That's acceptable, surely?
If I am not fine I tend to make a quip rather than pretend. If you're my friend - I'm gonna tel you how I am!!
I don't want people to worry over me so, I'll say I'm fine. It doesn't harm anyone but myself really.
So sit on my couch tell me why it is Ok to harm yourself young man......
I'm not saying it's okay, but i'll take self harm over hurting someone else"
Neither are necessary hun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What constitutes a lie?
Keeping secrets for a surprise, like getting Christmas presents?
Not explaining a shite relationship to a child who adored their step father?
I rarely lie, necessity only. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
"
I can’t answer for anyone else but what makes one lie more acceptable than others is the reason why and the consequences that may / may not follow.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!"
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces |
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces "
But there are a million ways to create delight in a child, and children can delight in fiction whilst knowing it is such - Tinkerbell, Cinderella, the Gruffalo - whatever. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Lying depends on knowing what the truth is a lot of the time. We rarely know what the truth is so probably lie a great deal of the time."
Good point. Whose "truth" are we addressing? It's often a triangulation, at best.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Anybody who says they don't lie is a lying liary liar. And "I never lie" is one of the most common lies people tell.
Once again, research found that on average men lie six times a day and women three times a day. That's just an average, so let's not stereotype, because that's worse than lying in my book. Nobody stereotypes to avoid hurting somebody else's feelings.
Reseachers found the most common lies we tell:
I never lie.
I have read & agreed to the above Terms and Conditions.
I’m fine.
You look great in that dress.
I'm sick.
I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Don’t worry, it'll be okay.
Sorry, I forgot.
No problem.
I'll keep in touch.
My phone died.
I’ve been swamped lately.
I’m busy that day.
I love it.
Yeah, I’m listening.
I remember you.
Further research found 10% of people have lied to impress others. 35% of those liars lied to colleagues, 30% to attract a romantic partner and 20% to friends.
The most popular lies these amazing superheroes told:
Skydiving.
Meeting a celebrity.
Attending a cool music event.
Bungee jumping.
Being arrested/Spent time in jail.
School/University results.
Charity fundraising.
Attending a major sporting event.
Exotic travels.
Working in the armed forces.
Saving somebody's life."
Then there are the British "lies" to get out things:
Invited to a party you don't want to go to: That sounds great, I'll check my diary and get back to you.
Asked to do a task you don't want to: Yes, of course I'll help.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces
But there are a million ways to create delight in a child, and children can delight in fiction whilst knowing it is such - Tinkerbell, Cinderella, the Gruffalo - whatever. "
Perhaps The key word in your post being "whatever"
Why restrict what children can delight in ...other than for their safety...
|
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces
But there are a million ways to create delight in a child, and children can delight in fiction whilst knowing it is such - Tinkerbell, Cinderella, the Gruffalo - whatever.
Perhaps The key word in your post being "whatever"
Why restrict what children can delight in ...other than for their safety...
"
Well, it could be that I wanted them to learn that lying wasn't acceptable from the very beginning, so sought never to lie to them. I would not pretend a fairy story was real either, no need, it's delightful as a story!
There are enough things good and true to delight in in this world, good grief, it is full of delights!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces
But there are a million ways to create delight in a child, and children can delight in fiction whilst knowing it is such - Tinkerbell, Cinderella, the Gruffalo - whatever.
Perhaps The key word in your post being "whatever"
Why restrict what children can delight in ...other than for their safety...
Well, it could be that I wanted them to learn that lying wasn't acceptable from the very beginning, so sought never to lie to them. I would not pretend a fairy story was real either, no need, it's delightful as a story!
There are enough things good and true to delight in in this world, good grief, it is full of delights!! "
Ok, you decide to tell your young child that Father Christmas doesn’t exist because you don’t want them lying.
Another child at their nursery is brought up my parents who think Father Christmas is just part of childhood and does no harm to their child.
How do you stop your child telling the other child that Father Christmas isn’t real?
|
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"Everyone does it but what makes one lie acceptable and one not?
None are acceptable.
Really?
Father Christmas? The tooth fairy?
‘No we have nothing planned for your birthday
Surprise!’
The first two may appear harmless enough, but I can't quite see the point of them to be honest. If you want to give the child some money for it's tooth, why not just give it?
And the third, also 'harmless' but even the smallest lie is the thin end of a wedge, and wedges tend to drive themselves into make larger and larger divides.
I managed to go for over 20 years without a single lie (bar things like 'Yes, I have read the terms and conditions', mea culpa).
It is a challenge - it's quite hard sometimes, you have to be quite creative on others, but the rewards are massive IMO.
Aww the first two though are just to try and give a childhood. Instill a bit of wonder and magic and delight. Handing over a pound is clinical. Maybe a cliché but that's my take on it
Such things don't bother me per se, but I am sure they are not necessary for a fabulous childhood!
Perhaps it's not a out what is necessary...
And more the magic of delight in children's faces
But there are a million ways to create delight in a child, and children can delight in fiction whilst knowing it is such - Tinkerbell, Cinderella, the Gruffalo - whatever.
Perhaps The key word in your post being "whatever"
Why restrict what children can delight in ...other than for their safety...
Well, it could be that I wanted them to learn that lying wasn't acceptable from the very beginning, so sought never to lie to them. I would not pretend a fairy story was real either, no need, it's delightful as a story!
There are enough things good and true to delight in in this world, good grief, it is full of delights!!
Ok, you decide to tell your young child that Father Christmas doesn’t exist because you don’t want them lying.
Another child at their nursery is brought up my parents who think Father Christmas is just part of childhood and does no harm to their child.
How do you stop your child telling the other child that Father Christmas isn’t real?
"
You can't. I doubt anyone raises children with other people's values as their priority anyway. |
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By *at1972Woman
over a year ago
Hartlepool |
It will all come out into the light eventually so why put yourself through the mental torture of trying to remember.. keep it simple.. keep it truthful... if they don't like it.. tough..!!!! |
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By *andK78Couple
over a year ago
Newport |
"Nope not everyone, not at all. If people carn't deal with the truth leave them to it.
How do you know? Lies come in many forms, including to ourselves.
"
We sure don't, sounds like hard work or chasing attention.
Although shocked how many do about age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe in truth, but I lie a lot.
I need to question your statement and your beliefs. "
The use of deliberate irony means I lie frequently.
I tell stories some of which may or may not be true, but if it provokes learning I don’t care.
There are things that I prefer remain unrevealed so lie by omission.
I am aware of it but still believe in truth. However truth is not absolute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It will all come out into the light eventually so why put yourself through the mental torture of trying to remember.. keep it simple.. keep it truthful... if they don't like it.. tough..!!!!"
That’s exactly the selfish attitude I was talking about before.
There are occasions when telling the truth isn’t the best policy. Life isn’t black and white. It is various shades of grey and saying tough shows a lack of empathy and social skills in my opinion, |
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By *at1972Woman
over a year ago
Hartlepool |
I'll tell a child that Santa is real.. but I won't lie about who I am.... I am who I am... I cant change that.. if someone doesn't like it or can't handle it then yes.. that's tough.. but it's just as tough on me as them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe in truth, but I lie a lot.
I need to question your statement and your beliefs.
The use of deliberate irony means I lie frequently.
I tell stories some of which may or may not be true, but if it provokes learning I don’t care.
There are things that I prefer remain unrevealed so lie by omission.
I am aware of it but still believe in truth. However truth is not absolute"
I like this |
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