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How can I keep it casual
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help  |
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If she's wanting more it's highly unlikely that it will change. If she's developed strong feelings for you then they can't just go away. All you can do is talk to her and if she wants more than casual you'll have to walk away. |
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"I said without being a dick haha"
If she's into you,no matter how you end it you are always going to be a Dick in her eyes.
May as well be a huge Dick and do it fast.
Have you actually considered talking to her? |
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"Talk to her. Ask her where she thinks things are, tell her where things are with you.
If both on different wavelength then move on."
Oh, are we supposed to respond with sensible answers? Sorry, I didn’t know  |
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Be really honest with her. Tell her you are on a swinging site looming for sex with others. You see her as only a fuck so would like to be fb's. If she doesnt want that then end it. Not fair to lead her on. Best to be totally truthful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does sound like she's several levels ahead of what you want. So, I think you've got to be honest with her and yourself and even if it means you "split up" you've got to talk to her, it's only fair.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Talk to her. Ask her where she thinks things are, tell her where things are with you.
If both on different wavelength then move on."
Thanks. I'll take this advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does sound like she's several levels ahead of what you want. So, I think you've got to be honest with her and yourself and even if it means you "split up" you've got to talk to her, it's only fair.
Good luck. "
Thanks bro. I think I'm gonna do that. Time to man up lol |
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Try working it into a conversation ....say you and a mate we're discussing relationships and the benifits of casual vs commitment and and express that for you the casual relationship came out on top because of the benifits and freedom it allows you both...then elaborate that commitment just isn't for you...
Just be clear and that she gets the hint and be respectful...
You should be able to read her reaction and allow her to express her views too...
Better to be in the same page..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she's wanting more it's highly unlikely that it will change. If she's developed strong feelings for you then they can't just go away. All you can do is talk to her and if she wants more than casual you'll have to walk away."
This... 
Having said that I've a very good friend who used to be a fb and it got to a place where she wanted far more. We had a good had and difficult chat about it, separated to give space but still kept in touch. It took about a year before things settled, both found others. We're very good friends now and it's just platonic. |
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In any relationship the only way for it to be successful is for all parties to make their intentions very clear. To that end you need to say to her that you feel she wants more than you can offer and that you think its best if you see less of each other.
What are you saying when she suggests holidays etc? |
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"If she's wanting more it's highly unlikely that it will change. If she's developed strong feelings for you then they can't just go away. All you can do is talk to her and if she wants more than casual you'll have to walk away."
this..
sit down and have a chin wag, cards on the table time.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In any relationship the only way for it to be successful is for all parties to make their intentions very clear. To that end you need to say to her that you feel she wants more than you can offer and that you think its best if you see less of each other.
What are you saying when she suggests holidays etc?"
I just said it was an interesting idea lol. I def need to just talk to her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I want to no wiy you wood want to keep it casual ?
I meen if you like her and get on with her and you must up to a point... wiy not get closer ??"
I just don't want a relationship now, every relationship I've had has gone tits up lol so I prefer to be casual |
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"In any relationship the only way for it to be successful is for all parties to make their intentions very clear. To that end you need to say to her that you feel she wants more than you can offer and that you think its best if you see less of each other.
What are you saying when she suggests holidays etc?
I just said it was an interesting idea lol. I def need to just talk to her"
Then you haven't made your intentions clear. You've given her the impression that you're interested in those things. You definitely need to talk and also stop sending out mixed signals. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"I want to no wiy you wood want to keep it casual ?
I meen if you like her and get on with her and you must up to a point... wiy not get closer ??
I just don't want a relationship now, every relationship I've had has gone tits up lol so I prefer to be casual "
Ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to no wiy you wood want to keep it casual ?
I meen if you like her and get on with her and you must up to a point... wiy not get closer ??
I just don't want a relationship now, every relationship I've had has gone tits up lol so I prefer to be casual "
You need to lay it on the line, man up and tell her your intentions / expectations and ask if that meets her needs ~ if it doesn’t rhen you’ll need to find a way to move on or break the arrangement off.
Sounds like you’re sending her mixed signals and she’s planning the next stage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had someone, also not from here, who, at the second time of meeting, said this is all it would ever be. That was fine by be, because that's all I wanted. I did stay over for the night,every wewkend, but we both knew it wasn't a relationship and never would be. |
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help "
Put your arms around her, talk openly and honestly about how you feel, and allow her to do the same. Come to a place of agreement on how you are going to go forward in a way that will work for you both, and then uphold your half of the bargain.
I don't know why people find this so hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does she know you’re on here with the intention of meeting people? If she does then remind her you still want to do this and if she doesn’t then tell her, will help reinforce the casual / nsa aspect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Amazes me how many people are encouraging him to not be entirely honest.
Oreo. Just be honest tell her how you feel, she might label you a dick but at least you'll have your integrity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to her. Ask her where she thinks things are, tell her where things are with you.
If both on different wavelength then move on."
Totally this... Simple as! |
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"Amazes me how many people are encouraging him to not be entirely honest.
Oreo. Just be honest tell her how you feel, she might label you a dick but at least you'll have your integrity "
Good grief, not an honest man on fab surely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amazes me how many people are encouraging him to not be entirely honest.
Oreo. Just be honest tell her how you feel, she might label you a dick but at least you'll have your integrity
Good grief, not an honest man on fab surely!"
Making it my mission in 2018 to get people to be honest and decent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Simple answer has been given by most on this thread. Be honest with her. Reaffirm what you want or don't want and explain to her why that is.
It may hurt her, but by not being open and honest, you are likely to hurt her even more. Do the right thing, but I think you know that already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be completely honest. Hopefully it will still work out. I’m hoping if my FB is still single we may go away for a few days (we may kill each other over that duration haha) but hoping to have a laugh and some sex but we both know where we stand |
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"Amazes me how many people are encouraging him to not be entirely honest.
Oreo. Just be honest tell her how you feel, she might label you a dick but at least you'll have your integrity
Good grief, not an honest man on fab surely!
Making it my mission in 2018 to get people to be honest and decent"
I fear your quest is futile, but I wish you luck!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be really honest with her. Tell her you are on a swinging site looming for sex with others. You see her as only a fuck so would like to be fb's. If she doesnt want that then end it. Not fair to lead her on. Best to be totally truthful."
Agree with this wholeheartedly
Very good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said without being a dick haha
If she's into you,no matter how you end it you are always going to be a Dick in her eyes.
May as well be a huge Dick and do it fast.
Have you actually considered talking to her?"
You have a good point actually. It hurts like fuck but easier to get over than "let's be friends" when you're not really wanting that. Like ripping off a plaster. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
Say something now before it's too late . Another month and you will find yourself by her side, gazing through a window looking at big diamonds  yes Valentine's day isn't far away and she's gonna want more  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Say something now before it's too late . Another month and you will find yourself by her side, gazing through a window looking at big diamonds yes Valentine's day isn't far away and she's gonna want more "
Oh no don't say that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say something now before it's too late . Another month and you will find yourself by her side, gazing through a window looking at big diamonds yes Valentine's day isn't far away and she's gonna want more
Oh no don't say that "
 |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help "
Why just keep it casual if you're into her? I mean you seem to be happy enough sticking your dick in her why do you not want anything else or is it cake and eat it syndrome? |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"Say something now before it's too late . Another month and you will find yourself by her side, gazing through a window looking at big diamonds yes Valentine's day isn't far away and she's gonna want more
Oh no don't say that "
Just remember if you're buying a rock it needs to cost a min of 1 months wage 
Let us know when we need to buy a hat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Say something now before it's too late . Another month and you will find yourself by her side, gazing through a window looking at big diamonds yes Valentine's day isn't far away and she's gonna want more
Oh no don't say that
Just remember if you're buying a rock it needs to cost a min of 1 months wage
Let us know when we need to buy a hat "
You're def not coming haha |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Why just keep it casual if you're into her? I mean you seem to be happy enough sticking your dick in her why do you not want anything else or is it cake and eat it syndrome? "
It's keep it casual syndrome. Quite simple. |
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If she’s fallen for you and wants more you’re not willing to give you need to cut all ties and find a new casual shag. You may feel like a dick in the moment you end it but you’d be being a bigger dick to keep fucking her and leading her on in that situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help "
I think it had gone past casual on her side now so I would let her down gently and walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help "
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"invite her to a mmfm meet. if she says yes - great. if she says no then tell her you are not compatible.
Really lol"
Well you wanted to know if you are going to be staring in jewellers windows soon...
I think what you already suspect. This is not casual for her.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block and delete.move onto the next one.
That's my move "
Disgusting way of being.
OP do the decent thing and chat with her face to face. So many arse holes out there doing the ghosting thing. Man up. You began this so deal with it properly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block and delete.move onto the next one.
That's my move
Disgusting way of being.
OP do the decent thing and chat with her face to face. So many arse holes out there doing the ghosting thing. Man up. You began this so deal with it properly. "
Exactly
Children run away
Men deal with things like adults |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her? "
I told her and we aren't seeing each other anymore |
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her?
I told her and we aren't seeing each other anymore "
Good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her?
I told her and we aren't seeing each other anymore "
How does it feel now after telling her and not seeing each other again, honest answer! Does she get a seconds thought or is that it, done and dusted?
Interested cos I had the old 'think it's for the best' we don't meet again spiel!
I'd like to think there were tears on his part, hugging his pillow at night imagining it was me! |
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her?
I told her and we aren't seeing each other anymore
How does it feel now after telling her and not seeing each other again, honest answer! Does she get a seconds thought or is that it, done and dusted?
Interested cos I had the old 'think it's for the best' we don't meet again spiel!
I'd like to think there were tears on his part, hugging his pillow at night imagining it was me! "
If he was into you then he would have worked things out. No point in being deluded. I doubt he's shead a tear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help "
Be honest and open with her, it's best not to assume to much. You may appear a little arrogant if you're wrong. I've made this mistake before.
If you explain yourself well and are empathetic and careful in how you express your feelings and show regard for theirs.
You can't go far wrong.
You may lose her as a fuck buddy if she is developing feelings. You shouldn't lose her as a friend though.. she might need some time to come around and gather her thoughts, give her time and space and you may get another chance at revisiting your physical relationship.
Honesty is the best policy, at all times. You don't have to be brutal about it though.
"Time to Kill a Bitch for Pringles" That made my night yesterday. Did you PM him? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Did you manage to sort this situation out? Are you still seeing her?
I told her and we aren't seeing each other anymore
How does it feel now after telling her and not seeing each other again, honest answer! Does she get a seconds thought or is that it, done and dusted?
Interested cos I had the old 'think it's for the best' we don't meet again spiel!
I'd like to think there were tears on his part, hugging his pillow at night imagining it was me! "
Um, well we weren't dating so it wasn't like we had a break up. I miss fucking her but like people have said it's not fair if she wanted more and I didn't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been meeting a girl regularly (not on here) and we have a great time, but I am getting the feeling she might be wanting more than a fuck buddy. We message a lot, which is fine, but not she wants me to stay over longer, go on holidays with her and has told all her mates about me. I don't think I've led her on, I've always said I just wanted casual. Was wondering how I could keep it casual with her without being a dick. Help
Be honest and open with her, it's best not to assume to much. You may appear a little arrogant if you're wrong. I've made this mistake before.
If you explain yourself well and are empathetic and careful in how you express your feelings and show regard for theirs.
You can't go far wrong.
You may lose her as a fuck buddy if she is developing feelings. You shouldn't lose her as a friend though.. she might need some time to come around and gather her thoughts, give her time and space and you may get another chance at revisiting your physical relationship.
Honesty is the best policy, at all times. You don't have to be brutal about it though.
"Time to Kill a Bitch for Pringles" That made my night yesterday. Did you PM him?"
Haha nah I didn't message him. I take Pringles seriously lol |
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