FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Never felt more unloved than I do tonight.
Never felt more unloved than I do tonight.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I just found out that none of my ‘friends’ from work or my old home town are coming to my hen do and will be just Ads family there (which is lovely) but I feel so hurt.
I’m not even sure if my two ‘best friends’ whose daughters are going to be bridesmaids at the wedding are coming to the actual wedding now as they haven’t spoken to me for weeks and my maid of honour is pissed off with me because I refuse to buy her sodding book before the wedding (it’s an expense I can’t afford) so she’s even gone cold on me, I feel like I’m going to hand no one at the wedding from ‘my side’ at all apart from my four relatives and my boys, even then it’s iffy my mum can actually see us get married as she has trouble with stairs and we didn’t realise and too late to change it that the bigger room was upstairs, she says she going to try her hardest though bless her, Ads says there is so many people there to help her.
Sorry for this post but I have nowhere else to get it off my chest.
Geeky x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The important people will be at your wedding. Fuck everyone else. That's why Mr seduction and I went away and got married alone. X"
 so long as those you love are there then fuck everyone else.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's hard I know,but maybe just try and concentrate on your loved one's that are there and the main reason for the day.
You're both incredibly lucky to have find each other to share your life with. I'm very jealous! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fuck, that is sad and I know how down it must make you feel. Try not to take it too much to heart, you are part of the Fab family and we care about you XXX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
Big hugs to you, I’ve had a very odd situation over Christmas with who I thought were 3 of my closest friends. Turns out I was wrong, it has been hurtful, but it’s a lesson learned and I’m not going to let it keep hurting me.
You have each other and the kids and that’s the most important thing x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ohhh geeky I'm sorry to hear this just remember the most important thing is your marrying the love of your life the only 2 people that mater are you and ads big squishy hugs xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We’ve always said from day one the wedding if for us and everything else is for everyone else’s benefit. As long as I get to marry Ads I don’t really care (well I do) whose there. I am just so looking forward to going in the room and seeing him in his suit and him seeing in my dress and saying our vows. I honestly can’t wait to be his wife!! But it’s taken the fire in me to do extra bits for the wedding, I’m sure I will feel differently soon but I just feel like I’m all on my own (I know Ads is there) but I see other brides all having there friends get involved and I have no one. I didn’t expect anything more so I don’t know why I’m so pissed off about it lol.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The important people will be at your wedding. Fuck everyone else. That's why Mr seduction and I went away and got married alone. X
so long as those you love are there then fuck everyone else.
"
I second this totally.. Big hugs Geeky x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Bollocks to them! But just a thought are they planning a surprise and are trying to avoid you on purpose?
Just get married and fuck everything else. x
"
No, my sister in law was planning the hen do but she had so much going on she asked if I could do it, so I messaged everyone and a few people got back to me to say they can’t come and then others just ignored the message entirely and none of them have mentioned it to me you know that whole ‘you’ve asked something but I’m just going to pretend you never said it’. My two friends from Kent were all up for it and have gone cold for some reason.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s times like these that unfortunately prove who your true friends really are. As said before, screw them. Just ensure you reciprocate the same enthusiasm in them when they want a favour. You can do without people like that in your life. Onwards and upwards, have a great day and wish you both the very best for the future.
Ed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If the maid of honour wanted you to read her book so badly I’m sure she could buy it for you as a wedding present.
People are odd "
The thing that fucks me off is we are trustees of the charity that she runs and some of the profit is going towards it, we help so much running about with events and everything else it wouldn’t hurt for a freebie being a trustee but she just wants the funds lol. I will buy it off course and her husband is our photographer so I bloody hope they are still coming (and her daughter is a bridesmaid lol) x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ive got a new hat that i just need an event to wear it to. I'll stand proudly on your side and hold the fort for you xx"
If you wear clothes like the ones in your pics you might end up back at the hotel with us too lol 
Ads |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bollocks to them! But just a thought are they planning a surprise and are trying to avoid you on purpose?
Just get married and fuck everything else. x
No, my sister in law was planning the hen do but she had so much going on she asked if I could do it, so I messaged everyone and a few people got back to me to say they can’t come and then others just ignored the message entirely and none of them have mentioned it to me you know that whole ‘you’ve asked something but I’m just going to pretend you never said it’. My two friends from Kent were all up for it and have gone cold for some reason.
X"
That really is very shitty. If that were me i'd text them all and say "well you bunch of cock wombling fannies, thanks for letting me down - don't call me, i'll call you!!" but i'm a hot headed bitch and that kind of drama is not good for you.
But maybe they will
Come through at the last minute for you. Don't let it take the sparkle off you looking forward to things though. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Bollocks to them! But just a thought are they planning a surprise and are trying to avoid you on purpose?
Just get married and fuck everything else. x
No, my sister in law was planning the hen do but she had so much going on she asked if I could do it, so I messaged everyone and a few people got back to me to say they can’t come and then others just ignored the message entirely and none of them have mentioned it to me you know that whole ‘you’ve asked something but I’m just going to pretend you never said it’. My two friends from Kent were all up for it and have gone cold for some reason.
X
That really is very shitty. If that were me i'd text them all and say "well you bunch of cock wombling fannies, thanks for letting me down - don't call me, i'll call you!!" but i'm a hot headed bitch and that kind of drama is not good for you.
But maybe they will
Come through at the last minute for you. Don't let it take the sparkle off you looking forward to things though. X"
To be fair I would do the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I read your post OP and hope you don't take this to heart too much.
Your real friends will be there. They are the ones to value and who value you.
Wish you both every happiness for the future but the small stuff don't let it get to you.
And remember it's all the small stuff....
There are only two people you need to be there... the rest... it's just noise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all."
It’s in my new town, it probably is the expense as they are all on benefits but they are the kinds of people that says yes first and then think about the small fact of how much it costs, if it is to do with cost then they can just tell me as I said to them at the start if it’s too expensive (£40 the actual ‘do’, 4 course meal, drag queen and disco, plus them getting here and drinks they are looking at the best part of £100, which is one of the reasons id have preferred a pub lol) please don’t feel you have to come, so I gave them an ‘out’ then, if it is cost then I totally (and they know this) would understand by ignoring me and my new mother in laws messages is just kinda rude x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I read your post OP and hope you don't take this to heart too much.
Your real friends will be there. They are the ones to value and who value you.
Wish you both every happiness for the future but the small stuff don't let it get to you.
And remember it's all the small stuff....
There are only two people you need to be there... the rest... it's just noise "
This is actually kinda beautiful x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
All you can do is invite them, and if they dont go, they dont go, its not about them, its about you and him.
I don't even have a single friend outside my family I could invite to my wedding, Don't know anyone to ask to be a best man. But I know its different when you think people wont turn up, compared to knowing no one will. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all.
It’s in my new town, it probably is the expense as they are all on benefits but they are the kinds of people that says yes first and then think about the small fact of how much it costs, if it is to do with cost then they can just tell me as I said to them at the start if it’s too expensive (£40 the actual ‘do’, 4 course meal, drag queen and disco, plus them getting here and drinks they are looking at the best part of £100, which is one of the reasons id have preferred a pub lol) please don’t feel you have to come, so I gave them an ‘out’ then, if it is cost then I totally (and they know this) would understand by ignoring me and my new mother in laws messages is just kinda rude x"
That is a massive expense, especially for people on benefits and I know how shit it can be to tell someone you can’t do something because you can’t afford it but they should still have replied to your messages.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The people who are there for you when you need them are the sort of people you should call friends not those 2 from Kent or the bint who runs the charity,
The important people are those that love you my Mum who treats you as her own my kids love you to bits and of course I’d walk to the end of the world and back again for you. You mean the world to so many people and that’s never going to change because you are amazing. I would marry you in a garage with nobody other than the registrar there if I had to you are my world! I love you
Ads |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The people who are there for you when you need them are the sort of people you should call friends not those 2 from Kent or the bint who runs the charity,
Ads"
. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all.
It’s in my new town, it probably is the expense as they are all on benefits but they are the kinds of people that says yes first and then think about the small fact of how much it costs, if it is to do with cost then they can just tell me as I said to them at the start if it’s too expensive (£40 the actual ‘do’, 4 course meal, drag queen and disco, plus them getting here and drinks they are looking at the best part of £100, which is one of the reasons id have preferred a pub lol) please don’t feel you have to come, so I gave them an ‘out’ then, if it is cost then I totally (and they know this) would understand by ignoring me and my new mother in laws messages is just kinda rude x
That is a massive expense, especially for people on benefits and I know how shit it can be to tell someone you can’t do something because you can’t afford it but they should still have replied to your messages.
"
Ahh but it doesn’t stop them
Buying fancy shoes and drinking every weekend, if it was a case of they didn’t do all those things x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago
nr Letterkenny |
"Bollocks to them! But just a thought are they planning a surprise and are trying to avoid you on purpose?
Just get married and fuck everything else. x
No, my sister in law was planning the hen do but she had so much going on she asked if I could do it, so I messaged everyone and a few people got back to me to say they can’t come and then others just ignored the message entirely and none of them have mentioned it to me you know that whole ‘you’ve asked something but I’m just going to pretend you never said it’. My two friends from Kent were all up for it and have gone cold for some reason.
X"
hen parties and weddings are costly maybe they simply can't afford especially if it's early in the NY. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The people who are there for you when you need them are the sort of people you should call friends not those 2 from Kent or the bint who runs the charity,
The important people are those that love you my Mum who treats you as her own my kids love you to bits and of course I’d walk to the end of the world and back again for you. You mean the world to so many people and that’s never going to change because you are amazing. I would marry you in a garage with nobody other than the registrar there if I had to you are my world! I love you
Ads"
That's such a lovely thing to say. I wish you both all the best in the day and more importantmy for the rest of yours lives together xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all.
It’s in my new town, it probably is the expense as they are all on benefits but they are the kinds of people that says yes first and then think about the small fact of how much it costs, if it is to do with cost then they can just tell me as I said to them at the start if it’s too expensive (£40 the actual ‘do’, 4 course meal, drag queen and disco, plus them getting here and drinks they are looking at the best part of £100, which is one of the reasons id have preferred a pub lol) please don’t feel you have to come, so I gave them an ‘out’ then, if it is cost then I totally (and they know this) would understand by ignoring me and my new mother in laws messages is just kinda rude x
That is a massive expense, especially for people on benefits and I know how shit it can be to tell someone you can’t do something because you can’t afford it but they should still have replied to your messages.
Ahh but it doesn’t stop them
Buying fancy shoes and drinking every weekend, if it was a case of they didn’t do all those things x"
Would they have to fork out for somewhere to stay too? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The people who are there for you when you need them are the sort of people you should call friends not those 2 from Kent or the bint who runs the charity,
The important people are those that love you my Mum who treats you as her own my kids love you to bits and of course I’d walk to the end of the world and back again for you. You mean the world to so many people and that’s never going to change because you are amazing. I would marry you in a garage with nobody other than the registrar there if I had to you are my world! I love you
Ads"
Feck... You don't need anyone else there Geeky... You have got a jewel you're marrying... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask is your hen do in your old town or is it where you’re living now and what you’re doing for it?
And also, when it is?
I’m just wondering if it’s the expense that is making them say no, that’s all.
It’s in my new town, it probably is the expense as they are all on benefits but they are the kinds of people that says yes first and then think about the small fact of how much it costs, if it is to do with cost then they can just tell me as I said to them at the start if it’s too expensive (£40 the actual ‘do’, 4 course meal, drag queen and disco, plus them getting here and drinks they are looking at the best part of £100, which is one of the reasons id have preferred a pub lol) please don’t feel you have to come, so I gave them an ‘out’ then, if it is cost then I totally (and they know this) would understand by ignoring me and my new mother in laws messages is just kinda rude x
That is a massive expense, especially for people on benefits and I know how shit it can be to tell someone you can’t do something because you can’t afford it but they should still have replied to your messages.
Ahh but it doesn’t stop them
Buying fancy shoes and drinking every weekend, if it was a case of they didn’t do all those things x
Would they have to fork out for somewhere to stay too?"
No the plan was for them to drive here with one of the boyfriends and then he was going to hang out with a friend that lives close by and then pick them up. If cost was an issue I have offered to pay for fuel, as I understand it is a lot to pay out x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If it's so important to you that it's causing you the upset it is. Why not come up with an alternative, like going back home to them and hanging out.it appears cost is a massive issue so find a way to take that obstacle out of the equation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Massive booby squishing hugs for you.
So jealous of you for having someone that would write that lovely post.
Just remember it's all about both of you. No one else x
If they really wanted to be there then they would be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's not easy, it hurts but like other lovely peeps have said as long as the groom is there that's all that matters. I had a similar problem when I married my ex husband, 5 members of my family bothered and very few friends. I was in such a state about the ceremony looking being heavy on the groom's side so we decided to put up a sign at the door of the venue asking people to choose a seat and not a side (there was some "cute"poem).
On the day I knew that everyone there genuinely loved us both and when it came to paying the final bill I was glad I didn't have to pay for a bunch of moaning faces, it was extra drink money for the honeymoon! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As long as it's u and him.. everyone else are just decoration.
Just means you can start the honeymoon sooner.x
You will have a great day and if your friends can't make an effort for u on it big day they aren't real friends and don't deserve an invite |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Cried teasing Ads' post there.
Fuck em! I'm on benefits, it wouldn't be easy but with enough notice I could save OR I would be honest and say "I'm really sorry but I just can't manage it" and probably send a nice card, maybe some flowers instead.
Re the photographer - get that in writing, as these people seem unreliable.
At certain times in life you learn who your true friends are - and they're rarely who you think they are. It hurts at the time but it's a blessing in disguise as they're showing their true colours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If it's so important to you that it's causing you the upset it is. Why not come up with an alternative, like going back home to them and hanging out.it appears cost is a massive issue so find a way to take that obstacle out of the equation. "
It’s not that it’s upset me so much, I never expected them to say yes in the first place as I thought cost would be a factor (I even offered to pay for fuel and roll for the tunnel so it wouldn’t be so much) I’m just a bit miffed by the radio silence.
I have done every bit of running around for them since I moved, they have never once done over here and seen me, one of the ladies even has family in law that lives ten mins away and she even text me about a year ago asking where I lived as she was in Harlow but never came to see me. I kind of feel like (and I might seem bridezilla here) it’s my day (as in the hen do) and I’ve made sure I’ve been there for birthdays etc for every single one of them yet I get nothing in return on the one day that it meant most to me. Maybe I should stop being so ‘giving’ and take more of the ‘receiving’  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
There was a point last year when one of them was the next town over moaning about how she was bored. When Geeky invited her over she made excuses said maybe and never turned up. They also didn’t attend the house warming party we threw when we first moved into our old house, even though we had beds sofa and all sorts available for people to stay. It just seems Geeky has to make all the effort and if they’re not too busy they’ll squeeze her in when it’s on their terms not when she needs them.
Ads |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If it's so important to you that it's causing you the upset it is. Why not come up with an alternative, like going back home to them and hanging out.it appears cost is a massive issue so find a way to take that obstacle out of the equation.
It’s not that it’s upset me so much, I never expected them to say yes in the first place as I thought cost would be a factor (I even offered to pay for fuel and roll for the tunnel so it wouldn’t be so much) I’m just a bit miffed by the radio silence.
I have done every bit of running around for them since I moved, they have never once done over here and seen me, one of the ladies even has family in law that lives ten mins away and she even text me about a year ago asking where I lived as she was in Harlow but never came to see me. I kind of feel like (and I might seem bridezilla here) it’s my day (as in the hen do) and I’ve made sure I’ve been there for birthdays etc for every single one of them yet I get nothing in return on the one day that it meant most to me. Maybe I should stop being so ‘giving’ and take more of the ‘receiving’ "
I'd simply explain to them how hurt you are by their choices and feel your friendships are devalued. If someone meant enough to me as a friend, I'd move mountains to share in their happiness if invited. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If it's so important to you that it's causing you the upset it is. Why not come up with an alternative, like going back home to them and hanging out.it appears cost is a massive issue so find a way to take that obstacle out of the equation.
It’s not that it’s upset me so much, I never expected them to say yes in the first place as I thought cost would be a factor (I even offered to pay for fuel and roll for the tunnel so it wouldn’t be so much) I’m just a bit miffed by the radio silence.
I have done every bit of running around for them since I moved, they have never once done over here and seen me, one of the ladies even has family in law that lives ten mins away and she even text me about a year ago asking where I lived as she was in Harlow but never came to see me. I kind of feel like (and I might seem bridezilla here) it’s my day (as in the hen do) and I’ve made sure I’ve been there for birthdays etc for every single one of them yet I get nothing in return on the one day that it meant most to me. Maybe I should stop being so ‘giving’ and take more of the ‘receiving’
I'd simply explain to them how hurt you are by their choices and feel your friendships are devalued. If someone meant enough to me as a friend, I'd move mountains to share in their happiness if invited. "
I wish I could be that ‘direct’ but I’m not. Everyone’s comments has made me feel so much better about it and it’s true as long as Ads and I marry then it doesn’t matter who else is there, if they don’t want to be or can’t be there (even though I’ve offered financially to help) I’ve got my family, my boys and Ads family that’s all that matters x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
At the end of the day people who give a shit will be there for you no matter what
Not just when it suits them or for when then need/want something but quite simply because they love you and want to be there.
Enjoy your day for you, no one else xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Like the song can you feel the love tonight on this thread anyway  "
I really can and thank you all so much, you are all amazing you don’t know me at all but you have given me such a lift xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If they aren't coming they obviously don't care enough about you, and are not worth your hurt.
I know you can't change how it has made you feel, but try to focus on the fact that those that do care will be there.
At our wedding, the only family Cal had was his sister and his son.
Hugs xx
Nita |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why Gretna green seemed so appealing to us. "
Don’t. We thought about doing it in secret but as Ads has never been married and he has a massive family (you never feel alone) they probably wouldn’t have forgiven us x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to hear this G. Breathe. Express the hurt. Act on it or don’t. Then look at how you want to choose to experience the rest of the run up to marrying the person you love. It’s just a day really. But what it is about is how you and the person you love want to commit to being together. How freaking awesome is that? And you can celebrate that with everyone in your life for the rest of your life. People come and go and friendships can wax and wane. You choose what’s important about all of this, people can be there for the rest of the adventure, if you want them to be, but don’t let the pain of this right now overshadow your love and excitement at marrying Ads.
Hugs x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Congratulations on wedding! Seems like your 'friends' are doing you a favour,bit like lending someone money n never seeing it/them again,money well spent,their loss not yours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
