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Why oh why oh why
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are just looking for a fuck, sometimes a bastard fits the bill
If you are looking to develop a FWB scenario, you need to put a few more criteria in
I do see the attraction in someone you know isn't good for you |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
That's life.
Btw Welcome newbie  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's because you friendzone the nice guys as they are safe and you see that as in some way boring....the arseholes are exciting and dangerous and you find that alluring....
Give the nice guys a chat...they might surprise you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or the ones that seem interested and charming and live on Mars practically.
It would be so so much easier if we all just fancied the local nice attainable men/women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?"
I wouldn't feel that way at least...it would be a huge turn on for me to know I could if I wanted... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?"
Don't let him have you whenever he wants |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recommended viewing: The Tao of Steve.
Dex: The basic principle - we pursue that which retreats from us.
Rick: It's from Heidegger.
Poker Player: Groucho Marks said the same thing. "Act like a woman can't join your club, and she'll do almost anything to get in." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?"
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think sometimes there's an element of a challenge and a bit of a sense of achievement if you actually get those kind of guys, and a lot of women fall into the trap of thinking they can 'tame' them! I know I definitely get more fixated on guys who I fancy but don't message me first, or make little effort in conversation, drives me insane!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year. "
Firstly...lucky lucky guy
Secondly...he will be like a landmine haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why oh why oh why"
Why not?
Strange thing about a lot of women, they like to change men. So many times I have seen women dragging a semi conscious guy across a festival mud patch, get into a relationship and next festival they can't do because the wife says they should decorate so they are in B&Q that weekend buying gingham paint...
Why don't women go to B&Q to get their husbands?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
Well after being married to a bastard for over 22 years I actively avoided those types when I first started dating again. They do seem attractive in the way of a challenge but I can live without that now. And nice guys can be exciting in a very different way because they often surprise you with the things that really matter. It’s about realising you’re worth more than what they have to offer xx |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
I'm not Shor op it wood be nice if it did happen.
.
Ps. i think.. If I'm rite... a welcome back is in ordor  |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year. "
Blimey. That's going to be explosive!
Enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why oh why oh why
Why not?
Strange thing about a lot of women, they like to change men. So many times I have seen women dragging a semi conscious guy across a festival mud patch, get into a relationship and next festival they can't do because the wife says they should decorate so they are in B&Q that weekend buying gingham paint...
Why don't women go to B&Q to get their husbands? "
There wouldn't be any there; they would all still be hanging around muddy fields, d*unk, listening to middle aged rock stars. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year. "
A year  I would have lost interest after a couple of weeks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why oh why oh why
Why not?
Strange thing about a lot of women, they like to change men. So many times I have seen women dragging a semi conscious guy across a festival mud patch, get into a relationship and next festival they can't do because the wife says they should decorate so they are in B&Q that weekend buying gingham paint...
Why don't women go to B&Q to get their husbands?
There wouldn't be any there; they would all still be hanging around muddy fields, d*unk, listening to middle aged rock stars."
Some of the band's I saw last year were well past middle age the 3 I booked for my party had about 600 years between them
But seriously'ish amongst my male friends who have been relationships for a while, the most frequent comment is why do women change, and expect their man to change too. Admittedly most of my friends are bikers who really never grow up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why oh why oh why
Why not?
Strange thing about a lot of women, they like to change men. So many times I have seen women dragging a semi conscious guy across a festival mud patch, get into a relationship and next festival they can't do because the wife says they should decorate so they are in B&Q that weekend buying gingham paint...
Why don't women go to B&Q to get their husbands? "
My ex went to B and Q to get his wife
A man that understands gingham is something I can only dream about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?"
Fix up look sharp Miss
MrsK x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is what I do OP.
I pick the one that doesn't give a shit about me and then get hurt feelings when he predictably behaves like a cunt
I also have a pattern of having female friends that are really hard work and high maintenance
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Don't let him have you whenever he wants "
agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or the ones that seem interested and charming and live on Mars practically.
It would be so so much easier if we all just fancied the local nice attainable men/women. "
Yep this 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Don't let him have you whenever he wants
agreed"
I think the games people play are why so many relationships founder around 1 year in. If both behave as they are give what they are happy to give and take what they are happy to take. Then everyone knows the rules and 1 month or 10 years in the game flows to both parties satisfaction.
Any pretence to be what the other wants, or expectation that the other will change to give you what you want, are doomed to failure at some point down the line. |
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I never want anyone that is hard work again, drama is not for me, I had enough of that when I was married and would never get involved with anyone who brings drama into my life.
I know some ladies have strict guidelines “wink wink” and rarely move their boundaries however in a way you might be missing out on a chap who can love you like you want to be loved rather than being strung along then shat on.
Anyhoooo welcome back “Newbie” I hope you find that special man one day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure "
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
Erm kinda difficult to put into words, but I'll try
I like a woman who keeps in touch but has other things in her life that I am not a major focus
I also need her to understand that whilst she is part of my life, she isn't my life
I have things I want to do without her and I also like my own space
Someone who enjoys my company in and out of the bedroom, someone who I can laugh with and be myself with
Someone who is willing to let her guard down. Someone who can be herself, not the porn star she might think I want her to be. Someone who will tell me to fuck off when I need telling.
If I see signs of them getting too close, I can speak to honestly about it without them losing their shit ... and someone who can be indifferent with me.
Other guys might want different things though. |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year. "
Doesn't that worry you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely most of the men on here show attention to anything with tits lol...
Personally I think you shouldn’t lower your expectations about what you want and be patient x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
Reverse the roles and I'm in the same boat. I always fall for the ice queen who will absolutely rip my heart out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
Im not a man but
Sometimes if you are so so desperate for a relationship, people will see this as a vulnerability and take advantage of you, Harsh fact i know
some people like to take and promise the earth and never deliver
My advice, dont look for it be happy with yourself 1st before you look for the one.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
Have regular meets for 4-6 weeks at various dating type locations.
Don’t put out for at least 4 weeks and then drip feed him a little, more and more as the relationship builds until you have him hooked.
Only go all the way when you’re confident that he’s hooked.
If you continue to be as easy as your various self documented escapades in the past indicate then you’re gonna get used by the type of guys you fancy over and over and over again.
Sorry if this sounds harsh as you know very well that I think you’re ace, but I’d love to see you find what you’re looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
Going to be a lot of different answers to that. Everyone is unique. As I said above honesty in what you want and can willingly give from both sides right from the start gives the best chance of figuring out if there is a future.
Personally I need space, not as much as I currently have preferably, but that's life.
I need to be trusted, and will give total trust in return.
Weirdly i guess from others reactions when I am ill leave me alone... hate being fussed over or looked after. Acknowledge there is me time, us time and them time all have to be part of the relationship.
Never drop hints, if you want it ask, if I can I will give it. Hints I don't get.
Damn my wife is a saint |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
I'll answer it......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question. "
Aloof. But not too aloof.
Available but not too available
Wanton but not too wanton.
That about cover it guys? |
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
It's not the bloke - it's you and your perceived irresistability. You don't really want him any more than you want any of the others. You just want him to want you and there could be a myriad of reasons for that
Doesn't make him a bastard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure
Can guys answer this question please, it's a good question.
Aloof. But not too aloof.
Available but not too available
Wanton but not too wanton.
That about cover it guys? "
Clear as mud |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen.
It's not the bloke - it's you and your perceived irresistability. You don't really want him any more than you want any of the others. You just want him to want you and there could be a myriad of reasons for that
Doesn't make him a bastard. "
I don't wanna be like that though its painful. |
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen.
It's not the bloke - it's you and your perceived irresistability. You don't really want him any more than you want any of the others. You just want him to want you and there could be a myriad of reasons for that
Doesn't make him a bastard.
I don't wanna be like that though its painful. "
It is a bit painful to break that cycle but ultimately it’s only you that can change the way you come across to the guys you meet and potential meet, you’re a clever lady, you know what you are doing wrong so why do you keep doing it? Unfortunately you make it far too easy for these blokes to get you hook line and sinker just coz they are tall and good looking, being tall and good looking doesn’t make all guys worthy of your time you know
Just don’t be so keen, so full on, so needy and giving at the same time, they just eat you up and make you feel like shit after and you are better than that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
Well I've read your profile... seen your photos...
And I hate your face....
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"Always here for you honey, whenever you're ready?? xx"
Seriously ? She talks nonsense I have no interest in her pretentious and full of herself attention seeker, I'd walk across the town to avoid her  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always here for you honey, whenever you're ready?? xx
Seriously ? She talks nonsense I have no interest in her pretentious and full of herself attention seeker, I'd walk across the town to avoid her "
Same here buddy... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always here for you honey, whenever you're ready?? xx
Seriously ? She talks nonsense I have no interest in her pretentious and full of herself attention seeker, I'd walk across the town to avoid her
Same here buddy... "
This doesn't really help me though, I want to know how to stop being attracted to guys that aren't interested or at least learn how to not be so full on with them which is what tends to push them away. |
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"Always here for you honey, whenever you're ready?? xx
Seriously ? She talks nonsense I have no interest in her pretentious and full of herself attention seeker, I'd walk across the town to avoid her
Same here buddy...
This doesn't really help me though, I want to know how to stop being attracted to guys that aren't interested or at least learn how to not be so full on with them which is what tends to push them away. "
I don’t get how you can be attracted to a guy that isn’t interested in you. |
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"It's because you friendzone the nice guys as they are safe and you see that as in some way boring....the arseholes are exciting and dangerous and you find that alluring....
Give the nice guys a chat...they might surprise you"
Thing is ‘nice guys’ aren’t exciting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting, OP.
I personally tend to lose interest in a guy if he isn't interested in me. I come to think of them more as friends....less sexually. It's interesting to hear how differently people react to the same stimuli.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's because you friendzone the nice guys as they are safe and you see that as in some way boring....the arseholes are exciting and dangerous and you find that alluring....
Give the nice guys a chat...they might surprise you
Thing is ‘nice guys’ aren’t exciting "
No guy is exciting in your eyes...  |
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"It's because you friendzone the nice guys as they are safe and you see that as in some way boring....the arseholes are exciting and dangerous and you find that alluring....
Give the nice guys a chat...they might surprise you
Thing is ‘nice guys’ aren’t exciting "
Of course they can be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
know the feeling I get a lot of that |
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"Always here for you honey, whenever you're ready?? xx
Seriously ? She talks nonsense I have no interest in her pretentious and full of herself attention seeker, I'd walk across the town to avoid her
Same here buddy...
This doesn't really help me though, I want to know how to stop being attracted to guys that aren't interested or at least learn how to not be so full on with them which is what tends to push them away. "
No one can teach you that, that is up to you to stop doing it, you create these problems and when they guy turns out to be a dick you can’t undersrand it, of course you understand it, you are in a cycle you can’t break and I recon will never break tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course "
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly. "
what belly ? you look fit as fiddle to me  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly. "
But what about the guy you met who booked a hotel room that you ended up using with a previous meet? It wasn't that long between him and the guy that treated you as a mug just two weeks or so ago?
For what you are looking for, you either have to spend a lot longer getting to know them without sex being the centre of attention or learn to reign yourself in as this site most people are not looking for any drama at all.
I have no idea what site to recommend, but I really don't think this one is for what you are looking for.
I haven't met for ages because I have got tired of feeling like a free prostitute so I take my time getting to know them, and then is when they fuck off after 2 days then come back after a few weeks thinking I have forgotten everything!
And don't get me started on another guy who turned into a nasty cunt by mail after a few drinks and has spent the last year trying to get back in my knickers, and still doesn't get that it wont be happening ever again lol That is preserving my own dignity and what you must always maintain about yourself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly.
But what about the guy you met who booked a hotel room that you ended up using with a previous meet? It wasn't that long between him and the guy that treated you as a mug just two weeks or so ago?
For what you are looking for, you either have to spend a lot longer getting to know them without sex being the centre of attention or learn to reign yourself in as this site most people are not looking for any drama at all.
I have no idea what site to recommend, but I really don't think this one is for what you are looking for.
I haven't met for ages because I have got tired of feeling like a free prostitute so I take my time getting to know them, and then is when they fuck off after 2 days then come back after a few weeks thinking I have forgotten everything!
And don't get me started on another guy who turned into a nasty cunt by mail after a few drinks and has spent the last year trying to get back in my knickers, and still doesn't get that it wont be happening ever again lol That is preserving my own dignity and what you must always maintain about yourself "
Yeah that was August last year now isn't it, I met a guy who booked a room but wasn't feeling him when he turned up so the guy I'd met 3 years previous came instead, he's married now though I found after via a wedding ring in one of his wank videos! Then the guy end of November who I met then met again 2 weeks ago then again and again New Year's Day! I'm an idiot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly.
But what about the guy you met who booked a hotel room that you ended up using with a previous meet? It wasn't that long between him and the guy that treated you as a mug just two weeks or so ago?
For what you are looking for, you either have to spend a lot longer getting to know them without sex being the centre of attention or learn to reign yourself in as this site most people are not looking for any drama at all.
I have no idea what site to recommend, but I really don't think this one is for what you are looking for.
I haven't met for ages because I have got tired of feeling like a free prostitute so I take my time getting to know them, and then is when they fuck off after 2 days then come back after a few weeks thinking I have forgotten everything!
And don't get me started on another guy who turned into a nasty cunt by mail after a few drinks and has spent the last year trying to get back in my knickers, and still doesn't get that it wont be happening ever again lol That is preserving my own dignity and what you must always maintain about yourself
Yeah that was August last year now isn't it, I met a guy who booked a room but wasn't feeling him when he turned up so the guy I'd met 3 years previous came instead, he's married now though I found after via a wedding ring in one of his wank videos! Then the guy end of November who I met then met again 2 weeks ago then again and again New Year's Day! I'm an idiot. "
I don’t want to be too disrespectful here but yes it does sound like you’re an idiot. But don’t worry about it, you’re not alone. X |
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"It's because you friendzone the nice guys as they are safe and you see that as in some way boring....the arseholes are exciting and dangerous and you find that alluring....
Give the nice guys a chat...they might surprise you
Thing is ‘nice guys’ aren’t exciting
No guy is exciting in your eyes... "
Moi?? What do you mean she says batting dark eyelashes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I don't understand (and I know you have had periods of abstinence) how do you find these as often as you do? And then get them to agree to exclusivity before you even meet them?
I haven't met since last March, because none has either caught or maintained my interest, they can manage it for a few days then disappear for a few weeks, then come back as if nothing has happened.
And I don't even make any demands.
I think you need to learn to respect yourself not flaunt how wonderful you think you are and get to know people properly before even meeting, then that way you wont feel used. As you must admit, you do expect a hell of a lot from someone straight from the off and a site like this doesn't work like that.
Just maybe of course
I don't find them often though. Since I became single in Feb 2009 the next guy I slept with was may 2011 off pof, same guy who introduced me to here. Next guy I met was my first meet off here the marine in August 2011, next guy off here met in Feb 2012 and kind of dated him till June 2013, nothing till April 2014 met a guy off my fitness forum and shagged him for a few months, he's in prison now, June 2014 met that army dude on a night out kind of dated him till oct, met another guy off here in October 2014 call him joe bloggs, nothing through 2015 then shagged the army dude again in June 2016, nothing through the rest then this year August shagged the guy I met 3 years previous then this guy.
I try and find people I like, I meet quite a few people but nothing really captures my attention. I was speaking to one guy with a view to meeting for a month and just before we were due to meet he said he was getting back with his ex so off the back of feeling a bit bummed about that this other guy got intouch.
I'm just gonna transfer this energy into getting fit again, need to lose this belly.
But what about the guy you met who booked a hotel room that you ended up using with a previous meet? It wasn't that long between him and the guy that treated you as a mug just two weeks or so ago?
For what you are looking for, you either have to spend a lot longer getting to know them without sex being the centre of attention or learn to reign yourself in as this site most people are not looking for any drama at all.
I have no idea what site to recommend, but I really don't think this one is for what you are looking for.
I haven't met for ages because I have got tired of feeling like a free prostitute so I take my time getting to know them, and then is when they fuck off after 2 days then come back after a few weeks thinking I have forgotten everything!
And don't get me started on another guy who turned into a nasty cunt by mail after a few drinks and has spent the last year trying to get back in my knickers, and still doesn't get that it wont be happening ever again lol That is preserving my own dignity and what you must always maintain about yourself
Yeah that was August last year now isn't it, I met a guy who booked a room but wasn't feeling him when he turned up so the guy I'd met 3 years previous came instead, he's married now though I found after via a wedding ring in one of his wank videos! Then the guy end of November who I met then met again 2 weeks ago then again and again New Year's Day! I'm an idiot. "
Jesus! You've no hope. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
Listen up 'newbie'.
Stop laying your blooming cards on the bloody table. Your making it easy for the predators every time.
I can't advise on your 'targets'. Only you will change that. Or you won't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?"
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year. "
Lol I believed you! |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year. "
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
Lol I believed you!"
Well there are aspects that are true. But I’ve not made them wait.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol! "
Probably the same guy. His luck is IN! |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
Lol I believed you!
Well there are aspects that are true. But I’ve not made them wait. "
I took it to mean circumstances had meant it had taken a year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
Lol I believed you!
Well there are aspects that are true. But I’ve not made them wait.
I took it to mean circumstances had meant it had taken a year "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol! "
Dont do it |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year. "
Oh right,I thought maybe you just hadn't managed to get together for whatever reason |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it "
Haha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
I feel the same about women I like but can't have lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You like the challenge, think you can change his mind?
It’s learned behaviour on your part only you can change the way you view men & relationships. Maybe CBT / NLP could help you.
This isn’t the 1st time though you’ve had such dilemmas, 1st one of the year though... |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it "
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it "
That was a couple of years back lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm the opposite, I am only interested in men that pursue me, that's what trips my trigger. If they stop coming after me, I lose interest. "
Same, I'm a sucker for flattery and feeling desired. It's a fine line though lol. Too much of it and I run a mile. |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Probably the same guy. His luck is IN!"
I doubt it......THIS time! |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it
That was a couple of years back lol! "
Been there done that eh! |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it
That was a couple of years back lol!
Been there done that eh! "
Done him anyway haha.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it
That was a couple of years back lol!
Been there done that eh!
Done him anyway haha.... "
Your the only one |
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"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Make him wait.
I’m about to have sex with someone who has been waiting a year.
Doesn't that worry you?
I’m not actually being serious. I haven’t made someone wait for me for a year.
I'm about to say yes to someone who has pursued me for more than two lol!
Dont do it
Ooh is it you then,can't wait to see the verification see if the wait was worth it
That was a couple of years back lol!
Been there done that eh!
Done him anyway haha....
Your the only one "
I know!!! I'm just so damn special heh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the same token a woman will become less attractive if the guy knows he can have her whenever he wants so how can you flip that situation?
Don't let him have you whenever he wants
agreed
I think the games people play are why so many relationships founder around 1 year in. If both behave as they are give what they are happy to give and take what they are happy to take. Then everyone knows the rules and 1 month or 10 years in the game flows to both parties satisfaction.
Any pretence to be what the other wants, or expectation that the other will change to give you what you want, are doomed to failure at some point down the line."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen. "
I'm not sure if this is your story or I'm mixed up with someone else sorry, but could it be because your dad left? You're trying to win someone back, the unattainable.
Don't beat yourself up, we're all human no matter when anyone else claims to be fucking perfect. Counselling might be a good idea as someone else has suggested. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen.
I'm not sure if this is your story or I'm mixed up with someone else sorry, but could it be because your dad left? You're trying to win someone back, the unattainable.
Don't beat yourself up, we're all human no matter when anyone else claims to be fucking perfect. Counselling might be a good idea as someone else has suggested. x"
My Dad was never there to start with sonhe couldn't leave. I did always wonder as a child why he never bothered with me but I think it was my grandfather having an affair and leaving my nan when I was 9, I was always over my grandparents so saw all that unfold. Or it could be when I was 11 and my mum had my sister. It was my mum my sister and step dad that was the family, Xmas' they'd stay at his mothers and I would be over my other grandparents house. It's massive rejection issues, I'm emotionally fucked but at least I'm an awesome mother that smothers my kid with love and would never ever put cock before my kid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you find a balance between keen and available, but not too full on so you loose your allure "
u treat meets like people not meat explain you got commitments and a life but when they're with you they're the only thing your interested in for that brief moment in your life and see if they accept it if not we'll who knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do I like the ones that aren't arsed about me?
Wish I could transfer how loads of other guys feel about me onto the ones I like.
I swear if I had 100 guys all the same spec lined up in front of me and one of those guys was a bastard, that's the one I'd be attracted to, I'd sniff him out.
But what's the psychology behind it. Why does a guy become more attractive when you sense they aren't interested, it would be so much easier if you could just be attracted to the ones that are all over you and keen.
I'm not sure if this is your story or I'm mixed up with someone else sorry, but could it be because your dad left? You're trying to win someone back, the unattainable.
Don't beat yourself up, we're all human no matter when anyone else claims to be fucking perfect. Counselling might be a good idea as someone else has suggested. x
My Dad was never there to start with sonhe couldn't leave. I did always wonder as a child why he never bothered with me but I think it was my grandfather having an affair and leaving my nan when I was 9, I was always over my grandparents so saw all that unfold. Or it could be when I was 11 and my mum had my sister. It was my mum my sister and step dad that was the family, Xmas' they'd stay at his mothers and I would be over my other grandparents house. It's massive rejection issues, I'm emotionally fucked but at least I'm an awesome mother that smothers my kid with love and would never ever put cock before my kid. "
You are awesome. |
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