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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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omg got my mother on the phone again. you know all the things i have told yer in the past on forum
ie
cutting the tip of her finger off while triminng her bush
describing the penis playing the piano on a cruise ship she went on
decribing how the lesbians i work with have babies and are pregnant again. and she exclaimed....oh i get yer they were artificially intimidated
well the latest is. she is doing a dummy run showing my father where to go for an appointment. the only 75 year old who gets done speeding and has to go on a course. anyhow on the dummy run she tells him to look out for the JFK on the right so he can turn. JFK he asks, no bloody JFK, she mean the KFC. ffs someone pass me a gun. think its time to send the old folks to switzerland for their jabs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I have a mum like that
the last little gem was about my cousin who has just told everyone hes Bisexual
according to her hes not gay just a transvestite  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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omg honey my mother is just hilarious. she would be so witty on here if i put a key board in front of her. she would shoot everyone down with the things she sez.
i bet everyone has things similar that there mother sez tho |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i think i started early. my daughter cringes with me. when she finished skool the kids wrote on everyones shirts and on hers there were some comments about me. mostly about my tits may i add |
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"Hahahaha
Rob told our daughter he met me when I was a stripper
She went and told her RE teacher  "
my lad wrote in his infant school topic on family that i was his social worker and i slept in a house in Havant with a man called eddie
i was a manager of a residential service lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hahahaha
Rob told our daughter he met me when I was a stripper
She went and told her RE teacher "
oh fook that remiinds me of the first time i met my future father in law. he was a minster of his own church at the time, the happy clappy flag waving brigade. anyhow there i was having slept over at my future husbands house. we have been d*unk the nite before and he only had beer in his fridge and i had woke up with a thirst from hell. went down to get a pint of milk off the step wearing only a towel. opened the door to some strange man asking for my bf. shut the door in his face and legged it to bed. my bf went down to let him in.all well and done when the in laws are born again christians and dont believe in sex before marriage....ooophs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If any of that is true it's funny as hell...!
I just try and avoid my parents, it's easier!!"
actually all I say on forum believe it or not is true. If there is a thread where I do not want to be truthful on I either answer jokinly or avoid it....simple |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
Shoot me if it ever happens to me but it must be something to do with 75 yr olds
Last september our daughter was getting married so dad (75) and mum decide to do a dummy run to the venue, I tells em its easy follow the signs for the dinosaur park (they are all over Norwich) on the road out towards cromer then once inside the park follow signs to the golf club - Simples! anyway the big day oomes and mum (bless her) says why don't you use yor satnav (he got hat for his birthday a couple of weeks before) so he sets it (so he thinks) but leaves it in demo mode - you guessed it they missed the wedding of their grand daughter   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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omg yeah it must be something to do with 75 yr olds. as i said my father got done speeding and now has to go on a course so he doesnt get the points on his license....again!!! whats to do with him thought they drove slow at the age.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my parents are still trying to get to grips with mobile phones. she only switches it on to make calls and then promptly switches it off afterwards to save the battery. problem is if you dont answer straight away and then go to phone her back the bloody thing is switched off |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"my parents are still trying to get to grips with mobile phones. she only switches it on to make calls and then promptly switches it off afterwards to save the battery. problem is if you dont answer straight away and then go to phone her back the bloody thing is switched off"
Hey I know I spent the first 2 yrs of my life in Liverpool but didn't realise we had the same parents my mum & dad do the same thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my parents are still trying to get to grips with mobile phones. she only switches it on to make calls and then promptly switches it off afterwards to save the battery. problem is if you dont answer straight away and then go to phone her back the bloody thing is switched off"
My mum used to do that silly mare lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"my parents are still trying to get to grips with mobile phones. she only switches it on to make calls and then promptly switches it off afterwards to save the battery. problem is if you dont answer straight away and then go to phone her back the bloody thing is switched off
Hey I know I spent the first 2 yrs of my life in Liverpool but didn't realise we had the same parents my mum & dad do the same thing!"
me and you twins....lol....i saw that film, you must be danny devito tho lol |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"my parents are still trying to get to grips with mobile phones. she only switches it on to make calls and then promptly switches it off afterwards to save the battery. problem is if you dont answer straight away and then go to phone her back the bloody thing is switched off
Hey I know I spent the first 2 yrs of my life in Liverpool but didn't realise we had the same parents my mum & dad do the same thing!
me and you twins....lol....i saw that film, you must be danny devito tho lol"
oi! I'll have you know I'm at least an inch taller than him |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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actually my mother is a fit old bird. her garden is backed on by many gardens. and there was one in particular that had a big tree that she was not happy about. so what did she do. she went out very late one night and with my fathers help removed the panel of the fence and then they both chopped the tree down and disposed of the evidence. |
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Aawww sorry mate
But I bet you could say the same for her,she was probably full of little gems too 