FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Affairs

Affairs

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What's people's opinion on them .

I had a 6 year love affair and was great .nobody hurt ,great fun and fabulous sex .Some would say it's cheating but i see it as 2 people happy making each other feel wanted and alive .It ended when he passed away and was the worst day of my life .As for reasons I couldn't say goodbye .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x"

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If discreet it can be fun but people must have boundaries. Best sex i had was a married lady. So willing and pleasing.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

6 years is a long time, that must of been tough for you having to keep all those feelings secret x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"6 years is a long time, that must of been tough for you having to keep all those feelings secret x"

A little excessive 6 years

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"6 years is a long time, that must of been tough for you having to keep all those feelings secret x"

Yes it was very hard at times .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My special person isn't with someone else. Makes it easier. It's the way forward

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

Easier said than done

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

No, you can't, love is an incredibly strong emotion to fight off.

At least you'll always have your memories of him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"6 years is a long time, that must of been tough for you having to keep all those feelings secret x

A little excessive 6 years "

The OP said she was having an affair for 6 years. What do you mean excessive?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

Is no not sometimes a hard word to say

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?"

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

Is no not sometimes a hard word to say"

It is, but we choose to fall when we do - we all have responsibility for or own emotions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

No, you can't, love is an incredibly strong emotion to fight off.

At least you'll always have your memories of him."

Yes I do have loads of happy memories and holidays we had together .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've never chosen to fall in love, it's something that just happens.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheating on a partner with impromptu casual sex in my mind is forgivable in some relationships, but full blown romantic, emotional and sexual affairs I could not forgive. The continual lying and deception about your whereabouts amongst other aspects is hurtful and selfish.

I completely get that some relationships lack sex but otherwise happy so you look for it elsewhere but falling in love and leading a double life? Just go your separate ways, find your happiness and allow the cheated partner to do the same. Life is too short for pretence and deception.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it ."

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Cheating on a partner with impromptu casual sex in my mind is forgivable in some relationships, but full blown romantic, emotional and sexual affairs I could not forgive. The continual lying and deception about your whereabouts amongst other aspects is hurtful and selfish.

Ginger "

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

An affair would mean feelings and being in love and yes I can imagine how that would feel and also the abrupt ending.

I’ve known people on here for 6 nearly 7 years that I play with occasionally. Not an affair but certainly long term Fab friends.

I hope you eventually come to terms with your loss. It’s difficult to grieve quietly and alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Wasn't hard at all. Changed me as a person tho x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree"

Others will agree, and some will disagree, joy of the forums. As long as it's kept polite and no personal attacks on the OP then this will be an interesting thread to read

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"We've never chosen to fall in love, it's something that just happens. "

But you have to let it, we are not all emotionally incontinent children with no control over our lives, and the mercy of every passing flirtation! It is a choice.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

I think, that unless you have been involved in an affair, from either side, you can't possibly know

That bubble is all consuming and perfect and whilst you are in it you feel adored. Then they go home and you are just left with your thoughts

You can't know, until you have been there

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree"

Always a reason why someone cheats .I did as was in a sexless loveless marriage he did as he was married too a women who wanted his money .we found happiness and love with each other and I don't regret any moment I sharred with him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've never chosen to fall in love, it's something that just happens.

But you have to let it, we are not all emotionally incontinent children with no control over our lives, and the mercy of every passing flirtation! It is a choice."

You obviously haven't felt the way I have before so we shall agree to disagree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think, that unless you have been involved in an affair, from either side, you can't possibly know

That bubble is all consuming and perfect and whilst you are in it you feel adored. Then they go home and you are just left with your thoughts

You can't know, until you have been there "

So true

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"We've never chosen to fall in love, it's something that just happens.

But you have to let it, we are not all emotionally incontinent children with no control over our lives, and the mercy of every passing flirtation! It is a choice.

You obviously haven't felt the way I have before so we shall agree to disagree

I love passionately and deeply, and fall readily - because I choose to. I am sick of this ridiculous denial of responsibility that is becoming pervasive throughout society, it is self-deception.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think, that unless you have been involved in an affair, from either side, you can't possibly know

That bubble is all consuming and perfect and whilst you are in it you feel adored. Then they go home and you are just left with your thoughts

You can't know, until you have been there "

Nonsense, love is love, it is not different because it is someone else's partner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise. "

Wanted to here people's stories and experience .not looking for sympathy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise.

Wanted to here people's stories and experience .not looking for sympathy

I got shit on. That's my story

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

I personally would have ended it and moved on. Not nice being cheated on at all. And people saying 'oh its love' certainly wasnt the case with me, considering my ex then cheated on the bloke she cheated on me with because 'she loved him' enough to cheat on me with. Just dont do it. If youre not happy just leave i think people should. Less hurt for the victim id say

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By *lackbird1000Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

"
In my opinion who cheats is a rat! If a relationship is not working , has a solution separation and divorce ! For me a foundation of a relationship is trust! Plus to be the second best in someone's life is not good enough ! I know people come out with one 1000 reasons why ! Even I needed to beg for food I would walk way from who bretray my trust !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise.

Wanted to here people's stories and experience .not looking for sympathy

I got shit on. That's my story

Thats life harsh i know, but so true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never cheated in my life and never would but I also know from friends that there's many reasons that people cheat and have affairs.everyone as different circumstances behind there actions x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise.

Wanted to here people's stories and experience .not looking for sympathy

I got shit on. That's my story

Thats life harsh i know, but so true."

Aww but they had happiness and love so that's great

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

"
wow that's pretty sad in many ways ,sorry for your loss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Just don't expect everyone to congratulate you on your choices. I'm not sure what you want from this post but I can't sympathise.

Wanted to here people's stories and experience .not looking for sympathy

I got shit on. That's my story

Thats life harsh i know, but so true.

Aww but they had happiness and love so that's great

Lol just love sarcasm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fidelity don't you just love it lol. Well some not Mr ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Strange reply to the OP's question

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Lock up yer husbands ladies!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

6 years? Wow....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been on both sides of this scenario. I’ve fallen in love with a married man, I’ve cheated on my husband, and I’ve had my husband cheat on me. It’s life! I didn’t set out to have an illicit affair, but things happen, whether you view it as a mistake or not it’s happened. I do still believe you should finish one chapter before starting another, it just doesn’t always happen the way you think or hope it would.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been cheated on and got out as soon as I found out. I have also been the bit on the side, with his girlfriends knowledge as I met them both on here and I did end up falling for him very deeply.

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

It has changed me and my morals are now stronger than ever. I know that sounds strange being on a site like this but I now will never meet someone who is in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

My opinion on affairs?

They are deceptive, unnecessary and cowardly in my opinion.

Special person that left a mark in my heart?

Yes, many and none affair relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a 6 year love affair and was great .nobody hurt ,great fun and fabulous sex .It ended when he passed away

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Strange reply to the OP's question

"
Newbie ? just asking a question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been cheated on and got out as soon as I found out. I have also been the bit on the side, with his girlfriends knowledge as I met them both on here and I did end up falling for him very deeply.

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

It has changed me and my morals are now stronger than ever. I know that sounds strange being on a site like this but I now will never meet someone who is in a relationship. "

By simply being on this site though you are putting yourself in a situation where you could very easily meet someone who is attached, especially when you attend parties, clubs etc.

There is no definite way of ever knowing if a person is attached or they aren't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a 6 year love affair and was great .nobody hurt ,great fun and fabulous sex .It ended when he passed away

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Strange reply to the OP's question

Newbie ? just asking a question

Who is the newbie?

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

What do we think of affairs ?

An unnecessary evil which inevitably hurt at least one person .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yea! its so hard the hurt never goes away!! Knowing how true love felt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think everyone is missing the OP's question, funny how threads go off on a totally different tangent, interesting though, nevertheless

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a 6 year love affair and was great .nobody hurt ,great fun and fabulous sex .It ended when he passed away

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Strange reply to the OP's question

Newbie ? just asking a question

Who is the newbie?"

2weeks is the big give away unless you know any different

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

I think having an affair is totally unacceptable in a relationship. If someone is going to give someone else all that time, energy and feelings then they should just end their current relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally i think every situation is different control freaks will not change allowing the other person to move on x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a 6 year love affair and was great .nobody hurt ,great fun and fabulous sex .It ended when he passed away

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

Strange reply to the OP's question

Newbie ? just asking a question

Who is the newbie?

2weeks is the big give away unless you know any different

It could be just a new profile though

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"I’ve been on both sides of this scenario. I’ve fallen in love with a married man, I’ve cheated on my husband, and I’ve had my husband cheat on me. It’s life! I didn’t set out to have an illicit affair, but things happen, whether you view it as a mistake or not it’s happened. I do still believe you should finish one chapter before starting another, it just doesn’t always happen the way you think or hope it would. "

Yes, we agree, and the problem with this area is that it (quite rightly) arouses such strong emotions, that we tend to start seeing things in black and white rather than (50?) shades of grey. In that respect it’s like politics, religion...or Strictly

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"Think everyone is missing the OP's question, funny how threads go off on a totally different tangent, interesting though, nevertheless

The op started her post by asking for people’s opinion on affairs , which everyone has answered I think .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

This.

Adults make choices.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

The trouble is the subject of fidelity is a pretty black and white issue.

In my opinion things like honesty and loyalty are too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Think everyone is missing the OP's question, funny how threads go off on a totally different tangent, interesting though, nevertheless

Look for the question marks in the OP and answer accordingly. The rest is just skim reading

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Think everyone is missing the OP's question, funny how threads go off on a totally different tangent, interesting though, nevertheless

The op started her post by asking for people’s opinion on affairs , which everyone has answered I think ."

Apologies, so she did, jeez I must be more tired than I thought I was,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

It has changed me and my morals are now stronger than ever. I know that sounds strange being on a site like this but I now will never meet someone who is in a relationship. "
how can you avoid having feelings sorry but do you have a switch that turns them off,no you don't ,if you have emotion then you have it

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"By simply being on this site though you are putting yourself in a situation where you could very easily meet someone who is attached, especially when you attend parties, clubs etc.

There is no definite way of ever knowing if a person is attached or they aren't."

Yes indeed, so how do you check if you are not encouraging someone else to cheat?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Think everyone is missing the OP's question, funny how threads go off on a totally different tangent, interesting though, nevertheless

Look for the question marks in the OP and answer accordingly. The rest is just skim reading

I've apologised, perhaps I've stayed up too late

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By *heislanderMan over a year ago

cheshunt

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

In my opinion who cheats is a rat! If a relationship is not working , has a solution separation and divorce ! For me a foundation of a relationship is trust! Plus to be the second best in someone's life is not good enough ! I know people come out with one 1000 reasons why ! Even I needed to beg for food I would walk way from who bretray my trust !"

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"By simply being on this site though you are putting yourself in a situation where you could very easily meet someone who is attached, especially when you attend parties, clubs etc.

There is no definite way of ever knowing if a person is attached or they aren't.

Yes indeed, so how do you check if you are not encouraging someone else to cheat?

I have no problem with that if I meet them regularly at their own home and there is obviously no woman living there! They could have a girlfriend still I guess, but no wife.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"By simply being on this site though you are putting yourself in a situation where you could very easily meet someone who is attached, especially when you attend parties, clubs etc.

There is no definite way of ever knowing if a person is attached or they aren't.

Yes indeed, so how do you check if you are not encouraging someone else to cheat?

"
and there lieth one of the imponderables of this lifestyle

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

It has changed me and my morals are now stronger than ever. I know that sounds strange being on a site like this but I now will never meet someone who is in a relationship. how can you avoid having feelings sorry but do you have a switch that turns them off,no you don't ,if you have emotion then you have it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

Self-control...

If you are fully aware that the person you are physical with is cheating, you stop it right there so feelings don't develop.

To let it continue beyond that and allow your feelings to develop is voluntary ignorance of the situation at hand and total disregard of the possible consequences the affair could lead to.

That's entirely selfish toward the people involved who are unaware ie. The partners that are being cheated on.

At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

Self-control...

If you are fully aware that the person you are physical with is cheating, you stop it right there so feelings don't develop.

To let it continue beyond that and allow your feelings to develop is voluntary ignorance of the situation at hand and total disregard of the possible consequences the affair could lead to.

That's entirely selfish toward the people involved who are unaware ie. The partners that are being cheated on.

At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

Well stated.

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

“Selfishly”...”innocent”...this is why this is such a loaded area. Language is being used to direct the reader into a logical cul-de-sac. These words need to be unpacked, deconstructed in social science terms, to understand whether the use of these is always justified...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

Dictionary in hand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

Not sure my brain is up to it at this time of the morning

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

So some people deserve to be cheated on?

It's okay to cheat on an unsuspecting spouse or partner because if you think about the situation logically it's justified?...

Or am I over thinking it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

So some people deserve to be cheated on?

It's okay to cheat on an unsuspecting spouse or partner because if you think about the situation logically it's justified?...

Or am I over thinking it?"

We wouldn't say anyone deserves to be cheated on, but as we all know, what leads people to cheating is very rarely a black and white reason.

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"So some people deserve to be cheated on?

It's okay to cheat on an unsuspecting spouse or partner because if you think about the situation logically it's justified?...

Or am I over thinking it?"

Yes this could be argued and we could construct cases where the least worst option is to have an affair. This is what moral philosophers do...so there are probably examples and arguments out there on the interweb somewhere...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

Lets start with mmmm let me see, Affairs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've hijackrd the OP's thread a little, maybe we should start another for in depth break downs and word analysis?

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By *ammyharrogateWoman over a year ago

Harrogate

So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ? "
they didn't know

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ? "

Might as well ask what someone's favourite colour or food is.

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ? "

And this is where others may post their experiences or hypothetical examples...but like most polarised arguments online, people in the “wrong” (like Tories on Facebook before the last election) are reluctant to post because they may be deluged with negative comments...which then descends into moral indignation.

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By *lackbird1000Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Everyone’s situation is different, I’ve never had an affair but I have cheated on my partner, we don’t have a sex life and that’s the reason I’ve cheated. I won’t leave my partner, she suffers mental health problems and i don’t know what a breakup would do to her. Does that make me a rat ? "
yes totally! What the cheating would do to her ? I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex , have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

But you turn them off before they ever get going - you say no to the first drink or the first kiss or the first sex! The deeper you get in the more you will hurt but you can ALWAYS say no and walk away."
but that's my point you may start on that path before you find out those words " I'm married" then wham its too late ,its not uncommon here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

Back to my corner I go

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex (than?) have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate ! "

And that is an entirely reasonable moral position...but adds the emotive and ill-defined word “integrity” in too.

Many people on fab will disagree with it though. Vive la difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ? "

There isnt a reasonable reason

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

Back to my corner I go

We retreated into a corner a while ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex (than?) have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate !

And that is an entirely reasonable moral position...but adds the emotive and ill-defined word “integrity” in too.

Many people on fab will disagree with it though. Vive la difference.

"
parlez vous francais?

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex (than?) have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate !

And that is an entirely reasonable moral position...but adds the emotive and ill-defined word “integrity” in too.

Many people on fab will disagree with it though. Vive la difference.

parlez vous francais?

Oui, un peu...voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Oh hang on, wrong gender lol...

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By *ammyharrogateWoman over a year ago

Harrogate

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

There isnt a reasonable reason

This would be my answer in all honesty!!! I couldn’t accept any reason

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

There isnt a reasonable reason

This would be my answer in all honesty!!! I couldn’t accept any reason "

Me either. Id rather be shown the door than be cheated on

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Neither situation is one I would want to repeat. I didn’t feel good about myself but I got out of both situations alive and can honestly say I will never put myself in either again.

Self-control...

If you are fully aware that the person you are physical with is cheating, you stop it right there so feelings don't develop.

To let it continue beyond that and allow your feelings to develop is voluntary ignorance of the situation at hand and total disregard of the possible consequences the affair could lead to.

That's entirely selfish toward the people involved who are unaware ie. The partners that are being cheated on.

At the same time you develop your feelings in the affair you selfishly disregard the innocent party's feelings.

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex (than?) have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate !

And that is an entirely reasonable moral position...but adds the emotive and ill-defined word “integrity” in too.

Many people on fab will disagree with it though. Vive la difference.

parlez vous francais?

Oui, un peu...voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Oh hang on, wrong gender lol..."
lol

sava bien mademoiselle xx

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By *heislanderMan over a year ago

cheshunt

"Im not entirely sure if im reading this correctly... 'Affair'.... As in your partner didn't know you were going off behind his back?

Yes was married at the time but i did end it .He never found out about it .

Then coming from being a person who was cheated on and found out about it, id say its pretty disgusting. Just my opinion though. Im sure others agree

Everyone’s situation is different, I’ve never had an affair but I have cheated on my partner, we don’t have a sex life and that’s the reason I’ve cheated. I won’t leave my partner, she suffers mental health problems and i don’t know what a breakup would do to her. Does that make me a rat ? yes totally! What the cheating would do to her ? I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex , have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate ! "

Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, i’m off to grab some cheese now as the cat is asleep.

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"I believe in honesty to be open and truthful! I rather be without sex (than?) have sex but not integrity!!!! That's what I think but I don't wish to debate !

And that is an entirely reasonable moral position...but adds the emotive and ill-defined word “integrity” in too.

Many people on fab will disagree with it though. Vive la difference.

parlez vous francais?

Oui, un peu...voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Oh hang on, wrong gender lol...lol

sava bien mademoiselle xx

Mais non, c’est monsieur ici...donc je ne coucherai pas avec vous ce soir...par-ce que je suis un homme

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been the man on the side a few years ago and had no quibble about that. The sex was amazing but woman got all serious on me and that's when I ended it. My partner (who i got together with years later) is definitely against playing with attached swingers, due to her being the one who got cheated on. Understandable really.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's impossible to have a reasonable discussion on such an emotive subject. So many have been hurt by someone cheating.

Despite the curcumstances, you did lose someone you loved OP, which is terribly sad. For that, I send my condolences to you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"“Selfishly”...”innocent”...this is why this is such a loaded area. Language is being used to direct the reader into a logical cul-de-sac. These words need to be unpacked, deconstructed in social science terms, to understand whether the use of these is always justified..."

^ This is worth reading again ^

Loving the choice of language used to post that. I have my own opinions/views on this topic, but for now need to continue reading rest of thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's impossible to have a reasonable discussion on such an emotive subject. So many have been hurt by someone cheating.

Despite the curcumstances, you did lose someone you loved OP, which is terribly sad. For that, I send my condolences to you

"
yes this

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"It's impossible to have a reasonable discussion on such an emotive subject. So many have been hurt by someone cheating.

Despite the curcumstances, you did lose someone you loved OP, which is terribly sad. For that, I send my condolences to you

yes this

Agreed. Hugs from us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was going to post my full thoughts on the topic, but this is one of those rare moments I read a post like below and think enough said.

"It's impossible to have a reasonable discussion on such an emotive subject. So many have been hurt by someone cheating.

Despite the curcumstances, you did lose someone you loved OP, which is terribly sad. For that, I send my condolences to you

Well said x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I have op. A lot of my friends have a place in my life. I love quite a few of them actually, theyve done some amazing things for me, and i would move heaven and earth to help them the same way.

If I lost any of these friends I would look at the memories fondly.

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By * BanditMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Not saying you should cheat or shouldn't. I've been on the receiving end hence why I be single. It hurts like a motherfu**er. But what I did take from it is you only live once and this is YOUR life so do what makes you happy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not saying you should cheat or shouldn't. I've been on the receiving end hence why I be single. It hurts like a motherfu**er. But what I did take from it is you only live once and this is YOUR life so do what makes you happy. "

Wow, selfish much? So live your life doing what you want to do regardless of anyone else's feelings?

I find this comment bizarre, especially coming from someone who's been betrayed. I've never cheated and (to my knowledge) have never been cheated on. It destroys lives and I'm not sure how anyone ever rebuilds trust once they've been betrayed.

I'm currently chatting to a woman through another dating site and she opened up to me about her ex and what she's been through. I can't even begin to imagine why she'd want to meet another guy again after what's happened as he sounds like a complete cunt. She's young and has her whole life ahead of her but what he's done has potentially ruined her dreams of marriage, kids etc. It's now left to the decent guys out there to try and rebuild her faith in humanity.

I love the way people defend infidelity as though it's not really their fault. Throwing in the "L" word doesn't justify it one bit IMO. Man up (or "woman up" if we're being PC!

) and take responsibility for your actions. You have the right to say no to temptation, it's all about how weak the individual is and how their moral compass functions (or doesn't in some people's case).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh and for those of you unsure I'm definitely 50/50 on the subject...

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Yeah the women my ex was fucking will always have a place in my heart. I'm sure they are lovely sweet people tho x

It's hard I no .can't help who you fall in love with .

Of course you can, you just say no!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

You say no body was hurt, you were!

If your partners found out how would they feel?

Your kids how would they feel about you?

An affair always hurts someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think that you ever really get over it xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

Have you joined FAB to find a replacement

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family."

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a very complex subject, no easy answers. Suffice to say that it's the dishonesty of betrayal that is more the issue rather than straightforward sexual infidelity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

You say no body was hurt, you were!

If your partners found out how would they feel?

Your kids how would they feel about you?

An affair always hurts someone"

Only one hurt was me .I wouldn't do it again .But i don't regret knowing him and being part of my life and making each other feel wanted and happy .Gained a great friendship and friend over the years .we were there for each other .As our partners weren't .Sometimes people don't see what you have until too late .

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By *woforone2025Couple (MM) over a year ago

Dublin

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

nobody hurt...that's just being in denial.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

nobody hurt...that's just being in denial. "

Not true .

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

nobody hurt...that's just being in denial. "

And that’s just mean-spirited to the OP who lost someone she loved.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

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By *woforone2025Couple (MM) over a year ago

Dublin

Wow, selfish much? So live your life doing what you want to do regardless of anyone else's feelings?

I love the way people defend infidelity as though it's not really their fault. Throwing in the "L" word doesn't justify it one bit IMO. Man up (or "woman up" if we're being PC!

so eloquently put.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I love the way people defend infidelity as though it's not really their fault. Throwing in the "L" word doesn't justify it one bit IMO. Man up (or "woman up" if we're being PC!

Exactly so, it's the attempt post-justify that irritates me, and I have never been cheated on in a proper relationship, and chose not to cheat in a sexless marriage. There may be reasons why someone chooses to cheat but lets not ever pretend it's right. Deception and betrayal of a trusting partner are never right, period, and self-deception is no excuse.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?"

Besides if that was the case wouldn't he have left her,why would he stay with a woman that only wanted his money?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?"

I didn't no her personally but knew her from a distance and heard the way she spoke too him .Was enough too believe what he told me of her .As I said previously she was happy as long as he put money in her bank account .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

You say no body was hurt, you were!

If your partners found out how would they feel?

Your kids how would they feel about you?

An affair always hurts someone

Little confused about something, are you now separated or divorced then?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?"

Exactly, she may have been crying herself to sleep every night for six years. Betrayal has an impact on people who don't know about it as well, a marriage is damaged, often beyond repair, and people suffer real harm in the spirit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

You say no body was hurt, you were!

If your partners found out how would they feel?

Your kids how would they feel about you?

An affair always hurts someone

Little confused about something, are you now separated or divorced then?

I'm divorced .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never had an affair

My ex hubby did and trust me OP I hope you never get hurt that way

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Never had an affair

My ex hubby did and trust me OP I hope you never get hurt that way"

I know what you mean .

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

What was his excuse for not leaving his money grabbing wife then?

Non of our business is it really,my heart goes out to his family. It's alway's easier to fall in love with someone who can give you all of their heart and time I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

She didn't she was always out shopping or on holiday.A man friend moved in with her 3 months after her hubby died .wouldnt say it was behaviour of a greiving widow .It's a year know and I couldn't do it .i loved him and respected him.He was my best friend .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

You have no idea what she was or how she felt. No doubt the tired old cliche of the unappreciative wife was just what you wanted to hear. It's difficult to have respect for people who bitch about a spouse behind their backs yet are quite happy to stay in the marriage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her ."

Yet you apparently know everything about her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had an 'affair' but it was much more than that, because we fell in love very quickly.

We were both in loveless, sexless relationships, and our 'affair' developed from secret meetings into something much bigger and uncontrollable: we fell in love.

We have been together now for 19 years, and couldn't imagine how our lives would've been if we hadn't made the break.

Could we have kept up our pretences for six years?

I doubt it, it would've been heartbreaking for both of us.

Pip & Re.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have read a lot of the posts but OP did you know he was married when you started affair or because you were to married you didn't care ,it felt more right ? I used to meet a woman and didn't for a long time know she was married,she's never said she loved me but I suspect she might have ,haven't seen her for 3 years but we are still in touch its funny how things just happen really but for the guy to die after 6 years very sad

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ."
.

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

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By *arciocialWoman over a year ago

Leicester

How is an affair not cheating? I'm sure if the person he was actually with and committed to would disagree. And for the reason "you couldn't attend the funeral", it's clear he wasn't committed to you. You knew all about her but she knew nothing about you. I wouldn't call that love, if it was love he would have been with you and told her all about it, instead he had you for an extra bit of excitement in his life and her for his homely comforts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh"

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story"

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/17 09:37:22]

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Yes and we are still together now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you or they aren't happy in the marriage then have the balls to leave and let the other person in the marriage know the truth so that they can find love from from someone that loves them and isn't living a lie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ."

Don't get drawn into the argument. I totally understand where you're coming from. I had a 5 yr relationship with a married woman that ended over two years ago, it hurt like hell, because she decided to cheat on me too as well as her hubby. She obviously had and still has issues with herself, but it was an emotional mind fuck that I honestly wouldn't put myself through ever again. But I totally get where you're coming from.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I cheated on my ex husband, never felt guilty. Many years later the man I loved more than I’d ever loved before, cheated on me. I was devastated. Now I know how it feels to be on both sides. Karma I guess

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

The ability to spot inconsistencies? Sure

I'm out. Have at it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

"
its some's favourite word of the minute ' troll' hey sometimes sharing your infidelity here isn't a great idea in hindsight many are holyer than though at the end of the day two people made choices ,two adults,wrong or right its ended pretty abruptly and for me that's the sad part of it .

Marriages come to an end especially in this era where people don't stick it out for the kids they move on because they can more easily ,no stigma attached to leaving its all solely down to your own conscience but surely marriages that have got to the point where they are over demand some kind of movement,maybe they stayed together for the kids even the OP maybe has no idea why they stayed together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I cheated on my ex husband, never felt guilty. Many years later the man I loved more than I’d ever loved before, cheated on me. I was devastated. Now I know how it feels to be on both sides. Karma I guess "

That's just life. It happens.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened .

You're complaining that the married woman you was having an affair with cheated on you, have I got that right?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

its some's favourite word of the minute ' troll' hey sometimes sharing your infidelity here isn't a great idea in hindsight many are holyer than though at the end of the day two people made choices ,two adults,wrong or right its ended pretty abruptly and for me that's the sad part of it .

My ex is still with her hubby, she refuses to leave him but is quite happy to fuck around behind his back while he's out at work. Like I said earlier, she has issues with herself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

Time flew by and if i knew it was going to end with his death I would of done things differently .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"6 years is a long time, that must of been tough for you having to keep all those feelings secret x

Yes it was very hard at times ."

As was his cock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened .

You're complaining that the married woman you was having an affair with cheated on you, have I got that right?

Yes thats quite right. Tangled web I know. I wouldn't do it again. And I wasn't complaining, I was simply telling it as it happened.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

Time flew by and if i knew it was going to end with his death I would of done things differently ."

You thought the affair wouldn't end with his death or, heaven forbid, the affair caused his death?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what’s is a reasonable reason for someone to cheat and what isn’t ?

There isnt a reasonable reason

This would be my answer in all honesty!!! I couldn’t accept any reason "

Exactly this..

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

My best friend was married. We'd meet up every month, take in a West end show, we were working our way through them. I'd also go down to his area for lunch and a chat. My house would be filled with flowers and Christmas time especially it would be poinsettias every where. I still miss that and my stern call to him saying it was too much.

When he fell his wife called me to say he was in hospital. You see, she was severely disabled and he was her carer. His twice a month meeting with me made him happy and something to look forward to. Add to that, she knew it wasn't sexual, we were simply good friends.

She phoned the Friday to say he was calling for me. My boss overheard my conversation and said go to your friend. It was late on a Friday and getting to Milton Keynes would have been a chore so I said I'd go the next day. I was getting ready to leave when his wife called to say he'd died.

His wife kept me informed of his funeral arrangements and arranged for someone to pick me up from the station the day of his funeral. It was the first time I'd been in his home. He and his wife travelled in the hurst together.

People were curious to who I was, the youngest and only black person there.

His wife actually thanked me for making him happy...an extraordinary woman. I know I wouldn't have approved of my relationship.

I still miss him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How grim to be the other woman,I'm pretty sure I could never do that. He spends time with you secretly then goes home to his proper family,snatched moments. My condolences to his family.

His wife preferred him working away .loved her life with her friends as long as he put money in her bank account each month she was happy .

So you knew her did you or are you just going off what you were told by him?

It wasn't like that at all .I never talked about her .

Yet you apparently know everything about her

He chatted to me I listened ..

See my comment above about respect....

I'm thinking this has to be a troll post tbh

Not true sorry just cause I'm new on fab I'm not a troll

I didn't even look at your profile, just the inconsistencies in your story

This attitude is probably why new people don't join in forum thread or troll as you put it

Time flew by and if i knew it was going to end with his death I would of done things differently .

You thought the affair wouldn't end with his death or, heaven forbid, the affair caused his death?

Affair didn't cause death .

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By *irestorm 500Couple over a year ago

coventry

"I think, that unless you have been involved in an affair, from either side, you can't possibly know

That bubble is all consuming and perfect and whilst you are in it you feel adored. Then they go home and you are just left with your thoughts

You can't know, until you have been there "

x storm x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think, that unless you have been involved in an affair, from either side, you can't possibly know

That bubble is all consuming and perfect and whilst you are in it you feel adored. Then they go home and you are just left with your thoughts

You can't know, until you have been there

x storm x"

True

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My best friend was married. We'd meet up every month, take in a West end show, we were working our way through them. I'd also go down to his area for lunch and a chat. My house would be filled with flowers and Christmas time especially it would be poinsettias every where. I still miss that and my stern call to him saying it was too much.

People were curious to who I was, the youngest and only black person there.

His wife actually thanked me for making him happy...an extraordinary woman. I know I wouldn't have approved of my relationship.

I still miss him. "

Did he die recently? I remember you talking about him before.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Btw OP... your profile....

Not looking for single guys

Looking for single guys only 35-45

So which one is it?

I'll message you for clarification... oh hang on, you've blocked all men. Silly me!!

Hmm....."

I joined and had too many silly messages and pics of penises so i put all filters on .It is allowed isnt it ? Thought I would choose to chat too people who caught my attention.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/17 10:07:01]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had an affair with a married woman years ago, or 6 months and it was great fun, however, when her husband found out it was dreadful for him especially, but also for her.

Eventually she left him and married me (we subsequently divorced) but I would never have another affair. It's too destructive, despite being amazingly good fun at the time.

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

Its alk fun and games til someone gets feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its alk fun and games til someone gets feelings. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are most going completely off topic?? The OP asked for opinions on affairs. Not for her affair to be critqued. I think the OP gets it. No need to keep slinging mud.

To the OP: I would suggest backing off this thread now. You don't owe anyone on here an explanation and I hope this doesn't put you off posting on the forums in the future.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

People were curious to who I was, the youngest and only black person there.

His wife actually thanked me for making him happy...an extraordinary woman. I know I wouldn't have approved of my relationship.

I still miss him.

Did he die recently? I remember you talking about him before.

Five years now would you believe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its alk fun and games til someone gets feelings. "

Exactly this.

My ending up here started with an affair that I had to walk away from after almost two years. It started as flirtatious chatting, led to sex then dangerously toward feelings. Really hurt to walk away, but for the best.

You live and learn, I know now that getting in too deep is something I won't let happen again. I still want a connection/a spark, without the trappings of emotional involvement, just intellectual and physical stimulation.

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

I could write war and peace on this subject. I know most would take offence with anything I say.

In response to one of the comments though about saying no and being unable to control who you love.

It takes a very strong person to walk away from someone who makes them feel loved, wanted, special. We see that from the number of people in controlling or abusive relationships. Those moments offering small glimmers of hope are clung too.

It's not easy to walk away when you start to believe something is better than nothing and you loose yourself.

I'm not making excuses. Conscious choices are being made all the time. It's just that it's simply not black and white.

As someone else also pointed out, until you're in the situation you'll not really understand.

I am sorry for your loss OP.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"What's people's opinion on them .

Anyone else had a special person that left there Mark in your heart

You asked for an opinion on them. Having been on both ends, the cheater and the cheated, I'd say it happens for various reasons and those reasons will be personally valid. Not many of us are saints but we should always learn lessons and its a situation i would never put myself in again. 6 years however is in my opinion cowardly and cruel. We are in control of our actions. You chose not to release your husband from a deception for whatever reason.

My question to the OP is, would you do it again?

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