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Festive As Fuck (FAF)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a new job while consuming copious amounts of Punk IPA.
Merry Christmas "
I do like your style monkey.
I'm searching for sex and drinking copious amounts of red wine! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine  
Mine! Bagsy the ham!
And the wine.
And boobs.
"
All yours...'cept the ham and wine...those you must share |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Mine! Bagsy the ham!
And the wine.
And boobs.
All yours...'cept the ham and wine...those you must share "
I don't share well, I warn you. I may bite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp? "
Is it even and the chocolate factory without gene wilder? |
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"I'm looking for a new job while consuming copious amounts of Punk IPA.
Merry Christmas
I do like your style monkey.
I'm searching for sex and drinking copious amounts of red wine! "
You need something big and ballsy. The wine I mean. Rioja or Malbec.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for a new job while consuming copious amounts of Punk IPA.
Merry Christmas
I do like your style monkey.
I'm searching for sex and drinking copious amounts of red wine!
You need something big and ballsy. The wine I mean. Rioja or Malbec. "
Patagonian Malbec as it happens |
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"Eating my Mums homemade mince pies & jam tarts, drinking far far too much gin & feeling very happy
Merry Christmas folks xx"
Cucumber, lime or lemon in your gin? I picked up a few interesting miniatures as presents.
Chin, chin! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp? "
Jonny...I'd choose the other if i had been given the option lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Mine! Bagsy the ham!
And the wine.
And boobs.
All yours...'cept the ham and wine...those you must share
I don't share well, I warn you. I may bite "
Promise? |
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"I'm looking for a new job while consuming copious amounts of Punk IPA.
Merry Christmas
I do like your style monkey.
I'm searching for sex and drinking copious amounts of red wine!
You need something big and ballsy. The wine I mean. Rioja or Malbec.
Patagonian Malbec as it happens "
^^ this man knows. |
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"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp?
Jonny...I'd choose the other if i had been given the option lol"
That wasn't a test but had it have been...you would have passed with flying colours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp?
Jonny...I'd choose the other if i had been given the option lol
That wasn't a test but had it have been...you would have passed with flying colours. "
I love Depp....but they just shouldn't have messed with a classic... |
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"La La Land, my millionth glass of gin and a very loud singing voice. I might, perchance, be a little on the d*unken minxy side of the scale.
 "
On the scale of 0 to floor I would say you are at 'festive'. Have a mince pie or three and another gin. |
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"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp?
Jonny...I'd choose the other if i had been given the option lol
That wasn't a test but had it have been...you would have passed with flying colours.
I love Depp....but they just shouldn't have messed with a classic..."
Also Gene had better hair. Fact. |
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"Eating my Mums homemade mince pies & jam tarts, drinking far far too much gin & feeling very happy
Merry Christmas folks xx
Cucumber, lime or lemon in your gin? I picked up a few interesting miniatures as presents.
Chin, chin! "
Crushed lime tonight |
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"Eating my Mums homemade mince pies & jam tarts, drinking far far too much gin & feeling very happy
Merry Christmas folks xx
Cucumber, lime or lemon in your gin? I picked up a few interesting miniatures as presents.
Chin, chin!
Crushed lime tonight "
Good choice. Run it around the rim of the glass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm devouring biccies from a selection box and thinking about having an early night. So rock n roll 
Remember to eat all of the best ones.
Sweet dreams flower "
Just the coconut ones left at this rate.
Thanks snookums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, cooking honey roast ham and drinking red wine
Gene Wilder or Jonny Depp?
Jonny...I'd choose the other if i had been given the option lol
That wasn't a test but had it have been...you would have passed with flying colours.
I love Depp....but they just shouldn't have messed with a classic...
Also Gene had better hair. Fact. "
True story |
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"I'm devouring biccies from a selection box and thinking about having an early night. So rock n roll
Remember to eat all of the best ones.
Sweet dreams flower
Just the coconut ones left at this rate.
Thanks snookums "
Good work. Snuggle in to Mr Ted. |
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"Finished all of Santa's duties for him by filling sacks and munching mince pies... now cracked open the Baileys. Merry Christmas all x"
Santa's Little Helper badge for you (not The Simpsons' dog).
Make it a double. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"La La Land, my millionth glass of gin and a very loud singing voice. I might, perchance, be a little on the d*unken minxy side of the scale.
On the scale of 0 to floor I would say you are at 'festive'. Have a mince pie or three and another gin. "
Just gin, mince pies muddy the tasting pallet, or is it pallette? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"La La Land, my millionth glass of gin and a very loud singing voice. I might, perchance, be a little on the d*unken minxy side of the scale.
On the scale of 0 to floor I would say you are at 'festive'. Have a mince pie or three and another gin. "
Just gin, mince pies muddy the tasting pallet, or is it pallette? |
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"La La Land, my millionth glass of gin and a very loud singing voice. I might, perchance, be a little on the d*unken minxy side of the scale.
On the scale of 0 to floor I would say you are at 'festive'. Have a mince pie or three and another gin.
Just gin, mince pies muddy the tasting pallet, or is it pallette? "
Quite. Try olives instead. Or Quality Street.
Oh and palate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"La La Land, my millionth glass of gin and a very loud singing voice. I might, perchance, be a little on the d*unken minxy side of the scale.
On the scale of 0 to floor I would say you are at 'festive'. Have a mince pie or three and another gin. "
Just gin, mince pies muddy the tasting pallet, or is it pallette? Which ever, I like to keep it clean with gin |
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"Just watched a couple of episodes of the mob a docudrama on Netflix - now to watch some relality porn "
Realty porn? Is that where you get shafted by an estate agent in the back of his Mini One (diesel)?  |
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"Merry Christmas one and all, just loafing on the sofa watching GOT reruns and sweltering under the glow of the log burner.  "
Remember to turn half way through cooking and baste liberally with the alcohol of your choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Merry Christmas everyone.
Whatever you dream it can be real if you just keep dreaming. May Christmas bring your dreams to you.....
"
. Aww, that's beautiful. |
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"Merry Christmas everyone.
Whatever you dream it can be real if you just keep dreaming. May Christmas bring your dreams to you.....
"
Ooh well someone kissed the Blarney Stone and doesn't need the gift of the gab for Christmas.
Smooth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Miss me?
I have been counting the hours of course.
When you say counting, do you mean wanking, and when I say wanking hav you been making me bread?
Yes. Yes. No. "
D’ough |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
We’ve had our Christmas dinner, slow roasted lamb (it was amazing)! I had a post dinner nap and now I’ve got another lovely glass of red on the go and I’m doing the last of the wrapping before Father Christmas visits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We’ve had our Christmas dinner, slow roasted lamb (it was amazing)! I had a post dinner nap and now I’ve got another lovely glass of red on the go and I’m doing the last of the wrapping before Father Christmas visits "
Then can I roast you? |
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"We’ve had our Christmas dinner, slow roasted lamb (it was amazing)! I had a post dinner nap and now I’ve got another lovely glass of red on the go and I’m doing the last of the wrapping before Father Christmas visits "
Oh evening! Morning even. Goodness.
No rush. He's caught in heavy traffic over Belarus.
Merry Christmas |
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"well the first half of my Christmas has already happened earlier- the English bit will come tomorrow... I am liking this arrangement... mooore foood
"
Pace yourself. You don't want to be caught out feeling full when someone offers you say, chocolate coated marzipan with your after dinner coffee. |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
"We’ve had our Christmas dinner, slow roasted lamb (it was amazing)! I had a post dinner nap and now I’ve got another lovely glass of red on the go and I’m doing the last of the wrapping before Father Christmas visits
Then can I roast you? "
Slowly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I am listening to Canadian Drum & Bass and making brioche.
Traditional festivities!
Merry Christmas you beautiful humans "
You had me at making brioche! Ladies he’s a catch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We’ve had our Christmas dinner, slow roasted lamb (it was amazing)! I had a post dinner nap and now I’ve got another lovely glass of red on the go and I’m doing the last of the wrapping before Father Christmas visits
Then can I roast you?
Slowly? "
Sensually, even |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I am listening to Canadian Drum & Bass and making brioche.
Traditional festivities!
Merry Christmas you beautiful humans
You had me at making brioche! Ladies he’s a catch "
But I’m all butterfingers  |
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"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed! 
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!"
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed!
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get "
Awwwww! You silly poppet!
My choo choo was a fun ride.  |
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"well the first half of my Christmas has already happened earlier- the English bit will come tomorrow... I am liking this arrangement... mooore foood
Pace yourself. You don't want to be caught out feeling full when someone offers you say, chocolate coated marzipan with your after dinner coffee. "
hey- I managed cake before as well as after dinner today... I can take a challenge... as for marzipan - hell no!!! that's my marmite (and I hate it!!)
now cake however... |
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"So I am listening to Canadian Drum & Bass and making brioche.
Traditional festivities!
Merry Christmas you beautiful humans
You had me at making brioche! Ladies he’s a catch "
You tell them!
Also Cannes is in the East Mids now? Boulevard de Leicester.
Joyeux Noël et bonne année. |
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"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed!
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get
Awwwww! You silly poppet!
My choo choo was a fun ride. "
Did you behave? |
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"well the first half of my Christmas has already happened earlier- the English bit will come tomorrow... I am liking this arrangement... mooore foood
Pace yourself. You don't want to be caught out feeling full when someone offers you say, chocolate coated marzipan with your after dinner coffee.
hey- I managed cake before as well as after dinner today... I can take a challenge... as for marzipan - hell no!!! that's my marmite (and I hate it!!)
now cake however..."
Slice of Christmas cake? What's that you don't like the marzipan?
Here, allow me.
Selfless.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"News just in, brioche rolls smell delicious.
Bacon, egg and sausage in the morning?
Yes
Ahh. I like you. Not a demanding nuisance like these others. "
can i come for breakfast? |
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"well the first half of my Christmas has already happened earlier- the English bit will come tomorrow... I am liking this arrangement... mooore foood
Pace yourself. You don't want to be caught out feeling full when someone offers you say, chocolate coated marzipan with your after dinner coffee.
hey- I managed cake before as well as after dinner today... I can take a challenge... as for marzipan - hell no!!! that's my marmite (and I hate it!!)
now cake however..."
I can't stand the stuff either. Bleargh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed!
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get
Awwwww! You silly poppet!
My choo choo was a fun ride.
Did you behave? "
I dropped my phone in a woman’s custard tart. |
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"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed!
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get
Awwwww! You silly poppet!
My choo choo was a fun ride.
Did you behave?
I dropped my phone in a woman’s custard tart. "
Is that what you call it? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Miss me?
Hello
I noticed!
You told me you’d be asleep before I got WiFi connection again!! But you’re still awake! Yay!
Alas, I am not as organised as I implied lovely. I've even tried to be quiet today and get things done. It lasted a little while but you know how distracted I get
Awwwww! You silly poppet!
My choo choo was a fun ride.
Did you behave?
I dropped my phone in a woman’s custard tart.
Is that what you call it? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?  "
Frottage cheese!  |
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"well the first half of my Christmas has already happened earlier- the English bit will come tomorrow... I am liking this arrangement... mooore foood
Pace yourself. You don't want to be caught out feeling full when someone offers you say, chocolate coated marzipan with your after dinner coffee.
hey- I managed cake before as well as after dinner today... I can take a challenge... as for marzipan - hell no!!! that's my marmite (and I hate it!!)
now cake however...
I can't stand the stuff either. Bleargh "
I am so in on the marzipan game. Yesssss! |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right? "
I've Gloucester t'edam plot I tell brie |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese! "
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
I've Gloucester t'edam plot I tell brie"
How’s your Emmental ‘elf?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company "
I wanna frott you |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
I've Gloucester t'edam plot I tell brie"
Northern cheese based humour? I think I'm a little bit in love. |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company
I wanna frott you "
Christmas has come early. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company
I wanna frott you
Christmas has come early. "
Oh not to worry, it’s very normal, we can go again in a bit |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company
I wanna frott you
Christmas has come early.
Oh not to worry, it’s very normal, we can go again in a bit "
Christmas came earlier |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company
I wanna frott you
Christmas has come early.
Oh not to worry, it’s very normal, we can go again in a bit
Christmas came earlier "
Bit selfish |
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"Hey Almostthere!
Guess what my favourite cheese is?
Cheesus not this again?
Oh I see what you did there Miss Honey!
Estella. I don't know what is your favourite cheese? This is a joke right?
Frottage cheese!
Oh I like that. I need to use it in polite company
I wanna frott you
Christmas has come early.
Oh not to worry, it’s very normal, we can go again in a bit
Christmas came earlier
Bit selfish "
It was pre planned. To avoid the Christmas air traffic works over Belarus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*wanking, ignores OP*
You can type and wank? Skills.
So many skillz.
My krumping level? Expert.
Krumpwanking. That would be some crossover sport. "
Word. |
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