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Lines you wouldn’t read in the bible

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

God said to John “come forth and I shall grant you eternal life”

But John came fifth and won a toaster

And then, god made eve, and she was slamming blamming bootylicious

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haha lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 23/12/17 12:40:14]

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Mary . " does it usually hurt this much first time "

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

and the three wise men did make Mary airtight, while Joseph did cover her breasts with his man batter...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And Jeremy Kyle said the results are back and Joseph... you are NOT the father..

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By *imandHerNottsCouple over a year ago

North Notts

Shoot thy muck upon my bristles

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By *lackitncoCouple over a year ago

brownhills

Mary and Joseph took all the animals in the stable one by one

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By *arnayguyMan over a year ago

Durham Tees

And Jesus carried his cross to the top of Calvary hill, to the local nail bar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mary asked the Lord, when the first Chemist would appear in Bethlehem for she needed cream for her burning bush

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Moses came down from the mountain upon his Triumph. - proof that motorcycles were invented in old testament times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No single men

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By *oubyLoverWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

And as Jesus was nailed to the cross he said ‘oo that feel good, please more thorns too Mistress’

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

God said 'Let there be li...oh fuck. Anyone got some change for the meter?'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

God said I lied man was created through the process of natural evolution

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 23/12/17 14:03:53]

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Ffs Mary, of course you'll still be able to have a virgin birth if i fuck your arse

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Fuck off !!

No you can't have mushy peas or curry sauce with your bread and fish, what do you think I am, a fecking miracle worker ?!!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Noah took the animals 1 by 1 then got greedy and did 2 by 2

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jesus do I look good naked of course you do son but don't let Magdalena see you with a Hardon again I'm getting short on stones

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As Joseph sneaked round the back of the stables with the 3 kings the reasons for the immaculate conception became clear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have told you many times Jesus " stop biting your nails "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jesus drank wine, woke up with a banging hangover

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