FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The sausage fest thread
The sausage fest thread
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed! "
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out "
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!"
Promises promises |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!"
I'm in! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!
Promises promises "
I need to go over the rules and punishments. I haven’t thought this through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?"
I used WD40 on a door hinge. Can I have a cock now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used WD40 on a door hinge. Can I have a cock now? "
Only if you can tell me where the name WD40 came from in the next 20 seconds. No googling! |
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By *ay-89Woman
over a year ago
Norwich |
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!"
Oh yes please! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?"
I used a butter knife to change the fuse in a plug,does that count? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used WD40 on a door hinge. Can I have a cock now?
Only if you can tell me where the name WD40 came from in the next 20 seconds. No googling!"
It was on the side of the can! Yeehaw!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used a butter knife to change the fuse in a plug,does that count?"
A real man would have wrapped the broken fuse in tin foil. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used WD40 on a door hinge. Can I have a cock now?
Only if you can tell me where the name WD40 came from in the next 20 seconds. No googling!
It was on the side of the can! Yeehaw!!"
Close enough. Have a penis. I don’t have any spare so you’ll have to share mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
It’s only because he got laid
The fuck has that got to do with anything? "
Just stating the obvious OP, well as you have on occasions! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper "
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
It’s only because he got laid
The fuck has that got to do with anything?
Just stating the obvious OP, well as you have on occasions! "
Nope, still don’t see what one has to do with the other |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used a butter knife to change the fuse in a plug,does that count?
A real man would have wrapped the broken fuse in tin foil."
Real men do the job once and do it right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
I used WD40 on a door hinge. Can I have a cock now?
Only if you can tell me where the name WD40 came from in the next 20 seconds. No googling!
It was on the side of the can! Yeehaw!!
Close enough. Have a penis. I don’t have any spare so you’ll have to share mine "
I've never won anything before.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!"
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive "
Good lad, only the best tools for the job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!
Promises promises
I need to go over the rules and punishments. I haven’t thought this through "
Punishment... Now you're talking |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?"
No
No
And no
But i Have been to the casino and made £100.
Cooked a Christmas dinner for 60.
And lifted 60kg on the bench bar |
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"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
No
No
And no
But i Have been to the casino and made £100.
Cooked a Christmas dinner for 60.
And lifted 60kg on the bench bar "
You sir can have a sausage |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
No
No
And no
But i Have been to the casino and made £100.
Cooked a Christmas dinner for 60.
And lifted 60kg on the bench bar "
Mans man! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just had a fight with a bear and slammed him in an arm bar. His head i now down the toilet an im currently flushing the chain.
Your teddy bear?? "
No its real...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
No
No
And no
But i Have been to the casino and made £100.
Cooked a Christmas dinner for 60.
And lifted 60kg on the bench bar "
What do you play at the casino Seeside? |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
No
No
And no
But i Have been to the casino and made £100.
Cooked a Christmas dinner for 60.
And lifted 60kg on the bench bar
What do you play at the casino Seeside?"
Roulette
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive "
Oh man up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quit making me hungry OP. If it's not pie it's sausages...always with the food.
It's nearly Xmas... there's supposed to be lots of food
Nita"
You make a fair point |
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"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness"
Ahh right; thought you'd just done the 'Who's nearby' search and that's what you meant by 'sausage fest'.........
Be seeing you.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I made the woman I love feel adored
Your wife is a lucky woman
"
I wanted to keep it quiet, the messages of love and adoration you’ve been sending me but if you’re happy for people to know, that’s ok |
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"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Ahh right; thought you'd just done the 'Who's nearby' search and that's what you meant by 'sausage fest'.........
Be seeing you.....
"
True dat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I made the woman I love feel adored
Your wife is a lucky woman
I wanted to keep it quiet, the messages of love and adoration you’ve been sending me but if you’re happy for people to know, that’s ok "
We’re married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I made the woman I love feel adored
Your wife is a lucky woman
I wanted to keep it quiet, the messages of love and adoration you’ve been sending me but if you’re happy for people to know, that’s ok
We’re married "
Practically |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I fell over on some black ice in a car park on Monday, a proper comedy fall, both legs in the air before slamming down on my back, bringing great meriment at this time of year to all observers.
Despite the pain to my back and pride I managed to style it out as if I was merely having a rest and refused all offers for help. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Ahh right; thought you'd just done the 'Who's nearby' search and that's what you meant by 'sausage fest'.........
Be seeing you.....
"
|
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive
Good lad, only the best tools for the job "
Aye - and the saw’s not too bad too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Quit making me hungry OP. If it's not pie it's sausages...always with the food.
You can have a slice of me anytime
Don't forget the ice cream "
Only if you’re the plate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also topped up the washer fluid and checked the oil on the company car.
Could you pop round and show me how to use your dipstick? "
It's quite simple. You pull it out, give the end a quick wipe then shove it in as far as it will go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive
Good lad, only the best tools for the job
Aye - and the saw’s not too bad too "
Grrrr can i play with your toolbox ?! |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I also topped up the washer fluid and checked the oil on the company car.
Could you pop round and show me how to use your dipstick?
It's quite simple. You pull it out, give the end a quick wipe then shove it in as far as it will go "
That’s where I’ve been going wrong. I pump it in and out a few times and then it gets all that wet stuff on the end. It sometimes runs down the sides and gets on my hand |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?" I expect Dick has done most of those things and more, lve just slept, baked and got d*unk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?"
I carried a watermelon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also topped up the washer fluid and checked the oil on the company car.
Could you pop round and show me how to use your dipstick?
It's quite simple. You pull it out, give the end a quick wipe then shove it in as far as it will go
That’s where I’ve been going wrong. I pump it in and out a few times and then it gets all that wet stuff on the end. It sometimes runs down the sides and gets on my hand "
Au contraire, You sound like you're a professional where as I'm just a diy'er.
Do you have any more car maintenance tips? How do you polish your gear knob for example, a bit of spit and elbow grease? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I changed the windscreen wipers on the car. Front AND rear.... "
Did you kick the tyre afterwards to make sure the rest of the car is ok? You can’t be too careful you know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I changed the windscreen wipers on the car. Front AND rear....
Did you kick the tyre afterwards to make sure the rest of the car is ok? You can’t be too careful you know "
Which bits are the tyres? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I changed the windscreen wipers on the car. Front AND rear....
Did you kick the tyre afterwards to make sure the rest of the car is ok? You can’t be too careful you know
Which bits are the tyres?"
You came to the wrong thread buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive
Good lad, only the best tools for the job
Aye - and the saw’s not too bad too
Grrrr can i play with your toolbox ?! "
You already know the answer to that Minxy Pie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive
Good lad, only the best tools for the job
Aye - and the saw’s not too bad too
Grrrr can i play with your toolbox ?!
You already know the answer to that Minxy Pie "
Now I want a mince pie Frosticles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sawed a nice groove in my thumb whilst cutting a floorboard. I mopped the blood up and wrapped my thumb up with newspaper
I hope the saw is ok, you maverick!
Ol’ Stan? Aye he’ll survive
Good lad, only the best tools for the job
Aye - and the saw’s not too bad too
Grrrr can i play with your toolbox ?!
You already know the answer to that Minxy Pie
Now I want a mince pie Frosticles "
You’ve got male.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Damn... This isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Nope, now get out. No girls allowed!
I'm no girl... I'm ALL woman and no bugger tells me to get out
OUT!!!! Or you shall be spanked!
Oh yes please! "
Frisky! |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also topped up the washer fluid and checked the oil on the company car.
Could you pop round and show me how to use your dipstick?
It's quite simple. You pull it out, give the end a quick wipe then shove it in as far as it will go "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a piss and left the toilet seat up.
Just where it should be
*fist bump*
Hope you washed your hands.
She wouldn’t need to would she? Don’t you girls just stamp your feet when you’re done? "
Yep. Unless it was just a wee. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I reassembled and tuned a drum kit. Apparently that's a manly thing to do but I didn't worry my pretty little head about that because it was a job that needed doing and I was more than capable despite not having a penis. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reassembled and tuned a drum kit. Apparently that's a manly thing to do but I didn't worry my pretty little head about that because it was a job that needed doing and I was more than capable despite not having a penis."
If you had a penis you'd be playing with it and forgotten all about the drum kit. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I reassembled and tuned a drum kit. Apparently that's a manly thing to do but I didn't worry my pretty little head about that because it was a job that needed doing and I was more than capable despite not having a penis.
If you had a penis you'd be playing with it and forgotten all about the drum kit. "
Nah, drumsticks or hotrods work better than penises for playing drums with. Saying that, I have played piano with my boobs before now. Jazzlike tone clusters ensued. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reassembled and tuned a drum kit. Apparently that's a manly thing to do but I didn't worry my pretty little head about that because it was a job that needed doing and I was more than capable despite not having a penis.
If you had a penis you'd be playing with it and forgotten all about the drum kit.
Nah, drumsticks or hotrods work better than penises for playing drums with. Saying that, I have played piano with my boobs before now. Jazzlike tone clusters ensued."
Fair point. I haven't noticed many pop stars whacking their willy on a drum.
#notrealmen |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
I couldn't find my pencil to sharpen with my Stanley.. So instead used my Stanley for marking my pipe..... Fecker hurt when I slipped though and stabbed it in my thigh.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I replaced my house insulation wearing only a T-shirt and shorts turning down all anti-itch products afterwards as I walked off with imaginary lat syndrome, suddenly the 3" isn't looking too bad .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?"
Changed my car's fog light today... turns out I'd ordered the wrong part though so now there's a big hole in my car for a few days
C |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Alright guys, hope you’ve had a good week and earned a few quid
Thought I’d make a thread for the men to celebrate our manliness
Anyone chewed tabaco this week? Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley? Changed an oil filter?
Changed my car's fog light today... turns out I'd ordered the wrong part though so now there's a big hole in my car for a few days
C"
TO THE KITCHEN WITH YOU! |
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