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Swingers safety
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Really gutted to read about the attack on a lady after meeting a guy at a swinging club In Bristol. Everyone needs to look out for each other. Merry xmas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't read or heard anything about it.
But after several incidents from using the site, we have changed the way we go about things due to other peoples behaviour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-42416446
Keep Safe Ladies and Gents! Xx "
Just read the link, that is horrific. I hope that the lady is okay. |
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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago
Buckley North Wales |
Oh that is grim. Does seem that clubs should engage with Taxi services to provide safe agreed discreete options for women. Like an unmarked taxi that a woman can claim is a friend or relative.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus thats awful. Theres some sick individuals in this world. Unfortunately he probably won't do 10yrs."
That's a worry if does 10 years he will still only be 48. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh that is grim. Does seem that clubs should engage with Taxi services to provide safe agreed discreete options for women. Like an unmarked taxi that a woman can claim is a friend or relative.
"
That's a good idea. |
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I take responsibility for my own safety and drive to and from local clubs.
On a couple of occasions when visiting a club in another part of the country i have asked the club to call me a taxi to get back to my hotel if I chose to take a drink instead of driving.
On several occasions I have had men in clubs ask me for a lift home because they live in the same town as me. I always refuse - I wouldn't pick up a hitch hiker at 3am so I won't offer a lift to a stranger I met at a club.
Although nutters like this guy are rare I won't put myself in danger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
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"I take responsibility for my own safety and drive to and from local clubs.
On a couple of occasions when visiting a club in another part of the country i have asked the club to call me a taxi to get back to my hotel if I chose to take a drink instead of driving.
On several occasions I have had men in clubs ask me for a lift home because they live in the same town as me. I always refuse - I wouldn't pick up a hitch hiker at 3am so I won't offer a lift to a stranger I met at a club.
Although nutters like this guy are rare I won't put myself in danger."
If I was a single woman I’d do exactly the same.  |
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Not to excuse this man at all I might add. Very sad indeed, and this victim will have gone through an awful experience bringing him to trial, so how brave and right she was to report him. Lets hope in time she finds some inner peace again. |
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"No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
"
Bdsm is consensual. Violent assault and ra@e is not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
"
What part of that news article suggests that this was comparable to BDSM?
I really don;t understand the victim blaming in your post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
"
Or what he is just a violent bastard who doesn't have anything to show it was consensual because it wasn't? And frankly if it was because she liked rough sex what sort of idiot would agree to beating someone else unconscious as part of their first meet? Certainly a lack of sane and safe there.
Unfortunately there are some wrong un's out there, please people take sensible precautions to look out for your safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
What part of that news article suggests that this was comparable to BDSM?
I really don;t understand the victim blaming in your post"
I have read the article a number of times and at no point does it mention BDSM, this was RAPX pure and simple.
As for his word against hers, I think the overwhelming medical evidence may have blown his defence out of the water.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
"
Fuck me. Victim blaming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one exactly know what happen there... Only those two individual knew the truth...
What if the women would have told the guy that she likes BDSM kind of kink...
We all read in news about those two men who were charged for rapx and now they were free, because they had evidence that the women ask those guys to have sex like a rapx.
In this case may be the guy didn't had any solid evidence to prove and he ended up in jail.
This should be an eye opener for both men and women, no one should just take other person's word for yes... Ask them to msg what exactly they looking for during the meet, just to cover your back...
"
|
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
"
I think a jury got to go hear the full story and dealt with it accordingly  |
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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago
The North / Party Hard Everywhere |
"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
"
You say we don’t know the full story but as he’s just gone to trial been convicted and jailed I believe any such aspects have been looked into thoroughly and defended and he’s been found guilty.
I do pain and blood etc but you can be damn sure it’s in writing what they want. But that’s just half of it, what’s to stop me or another dom going further? During the scene subs have the right to use a safeword. If they do use it, anything done after that is non consensual and abusive. Bdsm is not abuse if it is done within safe sameness and consensual parameters.
I believe with a jail term like that reflects the view it was rapx and violence pure and simple. Please stop blaming the victim she’s been through enough I think.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
I think a jury got to go hear the full story and dealt with it accordingly "
Definitely not anyone from this post should be that jury...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
You say we don’t know the full story but as he’s just gone to trial been convicted and jailed I believe any such aspects have been looked into thoroughly and defended and he’s been found guilty.
I do pain and blood etc but you can be damn sure it’s in writing what they want. But that’s just half of it, what’s to stop me or another dom going further? During the scene subs have the right to use a safeword. If they do use it, anything done after that is non consensual and abusive. Bdsm is not abuse if it is done within safe sameness and consensual parameters.
I believe with a jail term like that reflects the view it was rapx and violence pure and simple. Please stop blaming the victim she’s been through enough I think. "
I never blamed that women.... Or justifying the guys action...
Just saying don't say men that ... men this.... There are women equally as bad as men in this world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
I think a jury got to go hear the full story and dealt with it accordingly "
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only play together in clubs, and never drink for this reason.
Whilst no one fan second guess the outcome of an attack, if I can give anybody some advice (both ladies and gents)
Carry a small bottle of anti-perspirant deodorant in your pocket/bag spray it in an assailants eyes, it won’t cause any serious lasting damage but will give you at least a minute or two to escape. It’s also not illegal to carry.
Hubby has a bit of knowledge in this sort of stuff.
Keep safe, keep it sunny side up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So sorry to read about this incident, unfortunately within the swinging world abuse happens, more often than perhaps some of you will realise.
A singe woman can never be totally safe when meeting men alone. We can take calculated risks but they can never be eliminated. It's awful to say but it's 'the nature of the beast'.
A lot of cases of abuse will go unreported to police too, for varying reasons, so these predators will just keep on abusing women again and again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We only play together in clubs, and never drink for this reason.
Whilst no one fan second guess the outcome of an attack, if I can give anybody some advice (both ladies and gents)
Carry a small bottle of anti-perspirant deodorant in your pocket/bag spray it in an assailants eyes, it won’t cause any serious lasting damage but will give you at least a minute or two to escape. It’s also not illegal to carry.
Hubby has a bit of knowledge in this sort of stuff.
Keep safe, keep it sunny side up."
Women often aren't in a position to grab a can of deodorant when being abused though. It can happen out of the blue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We only play together in clubs, and never drink for this reason.
Whilst no one fan second guess the outcome of an attack, if I can give anybody some advice (both ladies and gents)
Carry a small bottle of anti-perspirant deodorant in your pocket/bag spray it in an assailants eyes, it won’t cause any serious lasting damage but will give you at least a minute or two to escape. It’s also not illegal to carry.
Hubby has a bit of knowledge in this sort of stuff.
Keep safe, keep it sunny side up.
Women often aren't in a position to grab a can of deodorant when being abused though. It can happen out of the blue."
Fully aware of that, it’s like the karate expert getting hit from behind with a piece of wood.
The point is it’s a legal weapon to have in your arsenal that may get you out of a sticky situation, not that it’s the same as walking around with a machine gun.
Every little second you can gain helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We only play together in clubs, and never drink for this reason.
Whilst no one fan second guess the outcome of an attack, if I can give anybody some advice (both ladies and gents)
Carry a small bottle of anti-perspirant deodorant in your pocket/bag spray it in an assailants eyes, it won’t cause any serious lasting damage but will give you at least a minute or two to escape. It’s also not illegal to carry.
Hubby has a bit of knowledge in this sort of stuff.
Keep safe, keep it sunny side up.
Women often aren't in a position to grab a can of deodorant when being abused though. It can happen out of the blue.
Fully aware of that, it’s like the karate expert getting hit from behind with a piece of wood.
The point is it’s a legal weapon to have in your arsenal that may get you out of a sticky situation, not that it’s the same as walking around with a machine gun.
Every little second you can gain helps."
Absolutely. Often when abuse occurs within swinging though, it's not like an attack on the street, if often happens behind closed doors. |
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
"
Stop being an arse, jeez. He was found guilty. You being an apologist for him does you no favours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
Stop being an arse, jeez. He was found guilty. You being an apologist for him does you no favours."
We don't feel there is any need to have a personal on the above poster just because he is voicing an opinion that is different to the majority opinion on here.
With this case, from what we have read, we do believe he was guilty. However miscarriages of justice do happen. The jury don't always reach the right verdict. |
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
Stop being an arse, jeez. He was found guilty. You being an apologist for him does you no favours.
We don't feel there is any need to have a personal on the above poster just because he is voicing an opinion that is different to the majority opinion on here.
With this case, from what we have read, we do believe he was guilty. However miscarriages of justice do happen. The jury don't always reach the right verdict."
Nethertheless an official jury did reside, review and see fit to convict on evidence put before them. Evidence we are not privy to, so in the interests of this Democratic society we are privileged to have, we can presume justice has been served until proved otherwise.
Knocking the BDSM scene is a narrow minded and uneducated view. It doesn’t reflect my relationship one iota. Anyone else on the BDSM scene recognise the fate of this woman being play?
As for other cases they are just that - other cases and not linked to this. And every person is judged on their own merits. Personally Speaking i detest completely anyone who would attempt to put another person in prison for a falsehood. Sexual offences must be top or near top of this list. Firstly because of course they are trying to frame an innocent person. Secondly, they make a mockery of the whole system and undermine legitimate victims, who must go to hell and back to have their day in court.
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
Stop being an arse, jeez. He was found guilty. You being an apologist for him does you no favours.
We don't feel there is any need to have a personal on the above poster just because he is voicing an opinion that is different to the majority opinion on here.
With this case, from what we have read, we do believe he was guilty. However miscarriages of justice do happen. The jury don't always reach the right verdict."
It isn’t about opinion, he was found guilty. Expressing an opinion that the guilty party was unfairly treated is crass. Having been a juror in a similar case I can assure you that the burden of proving guilt is immense. Of course there could be a miscarriage of justice, but the likelihood is very small. So now he is guilty unless proven he nnocent, it is the way our law works. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
"
The thread that you commented that men were being discriminated because charges were dropped?
The poor response may be because theere's another thread with multiple replies and a decent discussion about the exact same case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a difference between a consensual and a rap3? Just a word 'yes' , I can say yes now and later I can deny saying i didn't say 'yes'.
All I am saying is, we don't know exactly what happen between them at that night.. But I do say everyone should be careful and have some kind of written proof about what been agreed ...
There are people who like pain and blood and other hardcore stuff...we do see some sick pictures in the name of BDSM and other kinky stuffs... So there is a chance that women may told the guy to do that... We don't know the full story.
Most of us just see one side of the story and jump to conclusion ...
Not many women/couples profile felt Pity for the guy who narrowly missed jail sentence for false ra-e accusation by a women . Less than 5 people commented on that post and mostly it were men supporting.
Stop being an arse, jeez. He was found guilty. You being an apologist for him does you no favours.
We don't feel there is any need to have a personal on the above poster just because he is voicing an opinion that is different to the majority opinion on here.
With this case, from what we have read, we do believe he was guilty. However miscarriages of justice do happen. The jury don't always reach the right verdict.
It isn’t about opinion, he was found guilty. Expressing an opinion that the guilty party was unfairly treated is crass. Having been a juror in a similar case I can assure you that the burden of proving guilt is immense. Of course there could be a miscarriage of justice, but the likelihood is very small. So now he is guilty unless proven he nnocent, it is the way our law works."
I'm afraid we will have to disagree. A barrister we know told us with the amount of sexual cases going to court these days it's up to the man to prove the woman said yes, no longer is it the woman trying to prove she said no. Miscarriages of justice are more common then you probably think. |
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Hope she’s ok. 