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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
Just reading the thread about presumptuous people and it got me thinking....
If you were having a social or first meet and were travelling would it make you presumtous if you booked a hotel?
Now in my head I wouldn't be being presumtous as for me a social would normally be in a bar etc. So if I'm travelling I'd like the opportu toy to have a drink or two and retire to my room without having to worry about travelling home etc.
But I guess it may make people think I'm expecting more... which I certainly wouldn't be..
Thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assumes I'm playing if I go on a social, as the guys I meet I've been chatting to for quite a while, so know there is a mutual interest there already.
But normally it's me who books the hotel, but same applies. If I've travelled, and arranged a hotel and social first, odds are I'm expecting it to be a play meet unless previously agreed otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've travelled over 200 miles to meet someone I had been chatting to for a couple of months, so it was only natural that I booked a hotel to stop over anyways.
We both where pretty sure we both wanted it to be a play meet but neither of us presumed that we would play untill we actually met eachother. There was absoloutly no obligation on either side to do anything we didn't want to do and that was stated on the lead up to the meeting, but as it happened we got on just as well in person as we had when messaging and everything worked out perfectly 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just reading the thread about presumptuous people and it got me thinking....
If you were having a social or first meet and were travelling would it make you presumtous if you booked a hotel?
Now in my head I wouldn't be being presumtous as for me a social would normally be in a bar etc. So if I'm travelling I'd like the opportu toy to have a drink or two and retire to my room without having to worry about travelling home etc.
But I guess it may make people think I'm expecting more... which I certainly wouldn't be..
Thoughts?"
Don't tell them. If you aren't expecting anything other than a social in a bar, what does it matter that you are staying the night? If you mention the room they might second guess your true intentions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id never assume.
Id never travel more than ten mile.
Id meet for a coffee.
I wouldnt make any type of move.
I wouldnt suggest 'going somewhere'.
Id pay/dutch.
Gives both time to reflect and review a second meet otherwise just feels like a free prostitute. |
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I've also booked a hotel for a first meet/social (with the knowledge of the other party) on the basis that it was there if it was needed, but if not, I would be able to enjoy some me time and all the facilities. I'd far rather do that 'just in case' knowing how much it cost and what it was like than scrabble about trying - and maybe frustratingly failing - to book somewhere ad hoc which might not be as suitable. Having said that, I'd probably only book somewhere if there'd already been a reasonable number of messages and I felt a spark ... I wouldn't if it was literally just for a coffee. |
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If I was travelling a fair distance, then most likely I'd plan to stay over.
I only meet people after a while of chatting, messages & phone calls, so I've already decided there's a 'connection' but I still wouldn't go to a social with the presumption that more would happen, and I'd make that clear. |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"Just reading the thread about presumptuous people and it got me thinking....
If you were having a social or first meet and were travelling would it make you presumtous if you booked a hotel?
Now in my head I wouldn't be being presumtous as for me a social would normally be in a bar etc. So if I'm travelling I'd like the opportu toy to have a drink or two and retire to my room without having to worry about travelling home etc.
But I guess it may make people think I'm expecting more... which I certainly wouldn't be..
Thoughts?"
You don't have to tell them that you've booked a hotel? |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"I've also booked a hotel for a first meet/social (with the knowledge of the other party) on the basis that it was there if it was needed, but if not, I would be able to enjoy some me time and all the facilities. I'd far rather do that 'just in case' knowing how much it cost and what it was like than scrabble about trying - and maybe frustratingly failing - to book somewhere ad hoc which might not be as suitable. Having said that, I'd probably only book somewhere if there'd already been a reasonable number of messages and I felt a spark ... I wouldn't if it was literally just for a coffee."
I wouldn't travel a long distance just for a coffee. So wouldn't have the need. But for a few drinks etc then it's easier.. |
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"I assumes I'm playing if I go on a social, as the guys I meet I've been chatting to for quite a while, so know there is a mutual interest there already.
But normally it's me who books the hotel, but same applies. If I've travelled, and arranged a hotel and social first, odds are I'm expecting it to be a play meet unless previously agreed otherwise. "
Where are we meeting for our social?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've also booked a hotel for a first meet/social (with the knowledge of the other party) on the basis that it was there if it was needed, but if not, I would be able to enjoy some me time and all the facilities. I'd far rather do that 'just in case' knowing how much it cost and what it was like than scrabble about trying - and maybe frustratingly failing - to book somewhere ad hoc which might not be as suitable. Having said that, I'd probably only book somewhere if there'd already been a reasonable number of messages and I felt a spark ... I wouldn't if it was literally just for a coffee."
Exactly this for us too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe based on the feedback here then, I need to be clearer on what might happen after said social..."
Lots of messages beforehand I would think yes. It you mentioned an option to move on if you both got on it wouldn't be out of the blue to say you had a hotel. If they were only expecting coffee only it would look a bit forward |
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