FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How open should we be?
How open should we be?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as you feel comfortable with.
Personally I have stages and have found to find someone to have truely great sex with you can't rush it and you have to invest time.
I mean if all you want is just a shag then each to there own! I'm more of a I have to get on with the person, before I even contemplate putting out  |
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You’ve hit the nail on the head, some ppl will say anything for a shag. Those that are honest about what they want definitely fall victim to this. I’ve experienced it but thankfully it was easy to spot on all occasions 
(Just to clarify I’m not saying it’s only men guilty of this) |
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
We’ve been really open in our profile and rarely find people who are interested in the same thing 
I honestly think being as honest as possible is the best way and you’ll find people who are into what you are and then the sky’s the limit I suppose |
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"Wish i had an answer to that one.
But telling anyone here what you may want or how you may feel never seems to go well..."
Hmmmmm that depends on who you tell and if they feel the same. That’s usually where the problems start, when one party gets ‘the feels’ and the other just wants sex. Unfortunately you can’t turn off emotion, it’s very difficult for lots of ppl to just have sex without developing feelings. Maybe the answer is one off meets? Then they don’t get attached  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm open, but also closed. I only tell folk what i want them to know.
I think folk online can use your weaknesses against you in a vile way. I wouldn't trust anybody online, no matter how lovely they appear, not to try and use that against me to suit their agenda at some point in time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm open, but also closed. I only tell folk what i want them to know.
I think folk online can use your weaknesses against you in a vile way. I wouldn't trust anybody online, no matter how lovely they appear, not to try and use that against me to suit their agenda at some point in time.
"
 elegantly put! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"O.P.
Shall I give my honest opinion or blow smoke up everyone's ass ?"
Honest opinion please. You know I can take it. I prefer honesty even if it's like a sledge hammer to my heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm open, but also closed. I only tell folk what i want them to know.
I think folk online can use your weaknesses against you in a vile way. I wouldn't trust anybody online, no matter how lovely they appear, not to try and use that against me to suit their agenda at some point in time.
"
that's human nature. As soon as someone has served their purpose they'll be dropped. Could be after one night, could be after 20 years.
As for being open. I think it's about context. Fab is full of extremely selfish people, mainly men ime. So if you're going to be open, I personally feel you need to keep that in mind to mitigate hurt.
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I'm totaly open & honest.
I have a conscience & I like to get some sleep at night.
Came accross a few who weren't when I first joined, very quickly learnt how to spot them & out the liars.
I'm not here for a 'relationship' but at the same time I'd rather see regular friends than one offs.
I have certain preferences & for me, an amount of trust needs to be established first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm totaly open & honest.
I have a conscience & I like to get some sleep at night.
Came accross a few who weren't when I first joined, very quickly learnt how to spot them & out the liars.
I'm not here for a 'relationship' but at the same time I'd rather see regular friends than one offs.
I have certain preferences & for me, an amount of trust needs to be established first "
i get this and this is me |
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Unfortunately some people open themselves up too much and this is where the hurt happens, you are meeting for sex and a good time, you should never kid yourself that they are going to be “the one” unless you both develop feelings and want to be a couple later on down the line.
I don’t really believe that people will say anything to meet because why would you want to meet someone who really doesn’t appeal to you, that isn’t good for self esteem on either side.
I have always met with the premise that I enjoy the experience without any hang ups or demands on their time and definitely no demands on their emotions  |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
"As much as you feel comfortable with.
Personally I have stages and have found to find someone to have truely great sex with you can't rush it and you have to invest time.
I mean if all you want is just a shag then each to there own! I'm more of a I have to get on with the person, before I even contemplate putting out "
This is me too, although it’s not foolproof and I experienced something recently where someone talked a good talk, but the reality was very different. Then when he asked to meet again, and said I didn’t want to because I was looking for something more reciprocal, he didn’t take that well and got really quite nasty.
It did knock the wind out of my sails temporarily, but I quickly bounced back because I wasn’t going to let one negative ruin what has been a whole lot of positives in my Fab experience and I don’t know that there is anything different I could have done to get a different result. I guess sometimes some are going to slip through the net. |
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"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both. "
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
This isn't new, it's always been the case whether on or off-line. Some people are players and some will be played, it's just the way it is.
I think online sites like Fab make it easier not to be played because there's a certain expectation that most people are looking for nsa or casual sex.
Those that are played should manage their expectations better and develop their skills of judgement. |
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?
This isn't new, it's always been the case whether on or off-line. Some people are players and some will be played, it's just the way it is.
I think online sites like Fab make it easier not to be played because there's a certain expectation that most people are looking for nsa or casual sex.
Those that are played should manage their expectations better and develop their skills of judgement. "
Just look and read. Look and read that last line.
If I wasn't such a decent woman I'd kiss your ass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op, what do you think? Cos that's precisely exactly what i think..we're so in tuuuune!
Will you touch it now?
That type of thing?
Yep that.  "
I think a lot of people will do that, to a lesser or more degree, perhaps just down to softening an opinion on something in order to be more amiable with you. Sometimes it's meant well and sometimes your opinion rubs off and changes that of others and sometimes people will make up any old crap to get what hey want from you.
How open you want to be is a bit of risk assessment I guess..how sensitive are you if this happens? Is it worth the payoff of the bonuses of being an open soul? It's a lot of maths with emotion rather than numbers and all our sums stack up differently.
I try to be fairly open, but then I'm pretty hard to hurt too so it works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"O.P.
Shall I give my honest opinion or blow smoke up everyone's ass ?
What kind of smoke?
For you...... bacon flavour, with a soupcon of brie cheese. "
Get it up me! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?"
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Op, what do you think? Cos that's precisely exactly what i think..we're so in tuuuune!
Will you touch it now?
That type of thing?
Yep that.
I think a lot of people will do that, to a lesser or more degree, perhaps just down to softening an opinion on something in order to be more amiable with you. Sometimes it's meant well and sometimes your opinion rubs off and changes that of others and sometimes people will make up any old crap to get what hey want from you.
How open you want to be is a bit of risk assessment I guess..how sensitive are you if this happens? Is it worth the payoff of the bonuses of being an open soul? It's a lot of maths with emotion rather than numbers and all our sums stack up differently.
I try to be fairly open, but then I'm pretty hard to hurt too so it works for me "
Thanks Christos. Yeah people can change, I forget that sometimes. The outcome is important, I forget that too. |
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"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?"
You decide if they are a friend, not them and until you decide they are then don't fuck them. Take responsibility , exercise caution. And yes, to my way of thinking if you give your friendship easily , you will be fucked. Things worth having in life are worth waiting for and working for.
If I fuck - it's for fucks sake. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?
This isn't new, it's always been the case whether on or off-line. Some people are players and some will be played, it's just the way it is.
I think online sites like Fab make it easier not to be played because there's a certain expectation that most people are looking for nsa or casual sex.
Those that are played should manage their expectations better and develop their skills of judgement. "
I do agree that Fab is better for honesty that way. Dating sites seem full of smoke blowers.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
There are always going to be liars and players on here, the trick is being able to see through them, sometimes it's not so easy, and the odd one may slip through your self checks, that's life and shit happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?"
We only have one side of the story but isn't that why Miss Wilkes went unlos in the past few days?
And it does appear that some number of both sexes here can or are capable of acting in the same manner.
But despite that I would still rather take the chance and trust someone even if it's proved my trust is misplaced rather than be closed and trusting of no one.
Maybe like much here I'm doing it wrong but I won't maybe xant change who I am because of the actions of others.
Why should anyone do that. It's always more authentic to be true to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm totaly open & honest.
I have a conscience & I like to get some sleep at night.
Came accross a few who weren't when I first joined, very quickly learnt how to spot them & out the liars.
I'm not here for a 'relationship' but at the same time I'd rather see regular friends than one offs.
I have certain preferences & for me, an amount of trust needs to be established first "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?
We only have one side of the story but isn't that why Miss Wilkes went unlos in the past few days?
And it does appear that some number of both sexes here can or are capable of acting in the same manner.
But despite that I would still rather take the chance and trust someone even if it's proved my trust is misplaced rather than be closed and trusting of no one.
Maybe like much here I'm doing it wrong but I won't maybe xant change who I am because of the actions of others.
Why should anyone do that. It's always more authentic to be true to yourself."
Yes maybe she did, I'm thinking of a real life situation though. Perhaps trusting myself is the issue. The person has admitted to talking shit when they are horny.
I need truth serum.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?
You decide if they are a friend, not them and until you decide they are then don't fuck them. Take responsibility , exercise caution. And yes, to my way of thinking if you give your friendship easily , you will be fucked. Things worth having in life are worth waiting for and working for.
If I fuck - it's for fucks sake. "
Fair point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?
We only have one side of the story but isn't that why Miss Wilkes went unlos in the past few days?
And it does appear that some number of both sexes here can or are capable of acting in the same manner.
But despite that I would still rather take the chance and trust someone even if it's proved my trust is misplaced rather than be closed and trusting of no one.
Maybe like much here I'm doing it wrong but I won't maybe xant change who I am because of the actions of others.
Why should anyone do that. It's always more authentic to be true to yourself.
Yes maybe she did, I'm thinking of a real life situation though. Perhaps trusting myself is the issue. The person has admitted to talking shit when they are horny.
I need truth serum. "
Never doubt yourself. There are enough here who will take advantage of self doubt or even being open and honest about what you want and how you feel.
Btw. If you have any of that truth serum to spare you can post it to me at...... |
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"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?
You decide if they are a friend, not them and until you decide they are then don't fuck them. Take responsibility , exercise caution. And yes, to my way of thinking if you give your friendship easily , you will be fucked. Things worth having in life are worth waiting for and working for.
If I fuck - it's for fucks sake. "
I’m with you Granny and it applies to males and females. If you’re looking for something specific and you’re honest about it I think you’re more open to being deceived. Your defences drop more easily at the hint of what you’re looking for because you really want it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh. Open on here or in life in general ?
In here really. But both.
Okies.
Life in general.
Be open. Be honest. If you hide things from people then you are not being you. Any relationship that forms would then be formed on a falsehood. ( be it a quick shaggy or a long term ting )
Now .....relationships formed on the false you will fail.
By being honest and open I don't mean give every stranger with the black eyes and cheek scars your phone number or home address...... i just mean say what you want and what you don't want and don't be taken in by promises until you know the person is reliable.
See, my way of thinking says this. Yes people are cruel at times but why do people blame everyone else for what happens to them ? They need to take responsibility for what happens and act on it .......
So ..... be very open but exercise caution.
Why lie or live in fear ?
Take responsibility in what way? If I'm open and say I want friendship and sex.. someone tells me they are my friend but actually they just want a shag and that's all... is that my fault for trusting them?
We only have one side of the story but isn't that why Miss Wilkes went unlos in the past few days?
And it does appear that some number of both sexes here can or are capable of acting in the same manner.
But despite that I would still rather take the chance and trust someone even if it's proved my trust is misplaced rather than be closed and trusting of no one.
Maybe like much here I'm doing it wrong but I won't maybe xant change who I am because of the actions of others.
Why should anyone do that. It's always more authentic to be true to yourself.
Yes maybe she did, I'm thinking of a real life situation though. Perhaps trusting myself is the issue. The person has admitted to talking shit when they are horny.
I need truth serum.
Never doubt yourself. There are enough here who will take advantage of self doubt or even being open and honest about what you want and how you feel.
Btw. If you have any of that truth serum to spare you can post it to me at......"
Truth serum: beer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?
This isn't new, it's always been the case whether on or off-line. Some people are players and some will be played, it's just the way it is.
I think online sites like Fab make it easier not to be played because there's a certain expectation that most people are looking for nsa or casual sex.
Those that are played should manage their expectations better and develop their skills of judgement.
I do agree that Fab is better for honesty that way. Dating sites seem full of smoke blowers. "
Fab has a lot of people on it looking for a date or relationship. It's inevitable that they're going to find people who are just looking for sex.
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"My profile is honest and to the point. Who can say the same?
Me
But you don't list what you're looking for.."
Im honest but I dont feel the tick list works for me its far to mechanical for me. Pleasure, excitement,passion and levels of trust only come with time. |
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I am open and honest,but i dont trust people on here unless i 've known them a while and they have prooved reliable/honest.
I think many have an agenda and many will tell you anything to get that meet.
Go with your instincts about people and hopefully you won't go far wrong though.
Miss |
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
It's tricky. I'm open with my needs,but don't believe anyone when they say they want the same,so yeah bit pointless really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I take everything with a pinch if salt here.
We are talking to people's internet alter egos.
I doubt that most people are as they seem online.
In real life for the majority of the time most of us have real life to contend with - and I think that a lot of us come on here to escape it.
It's good to try and tick a few things off your bucket list and for random lustful fucks- but that is it.
Making lists of what you're looking for is bound to disappoint.
I'm open to all if it - but won't hold my breath waiting for what I'm looking for.
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
Who knows? For me it's about trust and building on it the longer I know you the more open I become. My profile was as open as I felt it could be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?
It's tricky. I'm open with my needs,but don't believe anyone when they say they want the same,so yeah bit pointless really."
Exactly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
as a book |
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I need food, water, shelter and sex - that's about the right level of details to give
I shy away from guys who say that they want whatever I do, so put the ones on to them to reveal - then I'm clearer on compatibility. It's right to be open but I'll also not want to do everything with everybody and also not all the time.
Get what you are hungry for, with someone who's hungry reciprocally. Earn each others openness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well OP, that I'd like the 64 million dollar question. We have no idea what is the right thing to do on here. We just try to go with the flow and see how things pan out when chattting to people.
Never sure how much or how little information to put on our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well OP, that I'd like the 64 million dollar question. We have no idea what is the right thing to do on here. We just try to go with the flow and see how things pan out when chattting to people.
Never sure how much or how little information to put on our profile."
*That is like the 64.... |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I generally start from a position of trust in all things unless or until you fuck me over. I’m fiercely loyal so you’d have to do something pretty vile to push me to that point. Having said that I’m no fool and I’m nobody’s pushover. I’m clear in my own mind about what I want both short and long term and if I decide it’s someone else’s business I’m happy to let them know it too. But my deepest feelings and secrets are for my closest friends and lovers only.
V x
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"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?"
On the internet not open at all. You make yourself far too vulnerable to way too many people. You increase the odds of someone telling you what you want to hear by a trillion.
However even outside of the online community there will be people who spot a vulnerability and exploit it at least it's harder for them. Nobody would consider walking round with a bill board saying e.g. "I'm a lonely widow/er looking for companionship. I'm comfortably off and own my own home" but they'll happily post a version of that on the net. That kind of thing is a con man or woman's dream come true. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Many people will say anything for a shag. If you're open about what you're looking for there's a risk that people will just lie and say they want the same.
But if you aren't open about what you want, perhaps it's more difficult to find someone that you have things in common with.
How open should we be?
On the internet not open at all. You make yourself far too vulnerable to way too many people. You increase the odds of someone telling you what you want to hear by a trillion.
However even outside of the online community there will be people who spot a vulnerability and exploit it at least it's harder for them. Nobody would consider walking round with a bill board saying e.g. "I'm a lonely widow/er looking for companionship. I'm comfortably off and own my own home" but they'll happily post a version of that on the net. That kind of thing is a con man or woman's dream come true."
As a wise old metal band once sang.
Sad but true. |
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Depends. I don’t give myself away too freely too quickly. I wanna know what the person is really about before letting them in. Trust everybody once and give the benefit of doubt but there’s no rush.
Fake people can only keep the facade up for so long but you’ll learn who’s genuine over time. Suss them out and see if their actions match what they say. Look them in the eye and ask them flat out too. I can spot an expert liar a mile off. Online it’s not so easy. |
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I do think that some people are unwilling or unable to believe that they've been taken in or conned and will continue to defend the person whose deceived them.
A family friend has systematically been relieved of her and her late husband's life savings, sold her house and moved to a static caravan and sold her car to finance a waiter she met on holiday 15 years ago. She insists that he loves her despite the fact that he has a wife and family. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I do think that some people are unwilling or unable to believe that they've been taken in or conned and will continue to defend the person whose deceived them.
A family friend has systematically been relieved of her and her late husband's life savings, sold her house and moved to a static caravan and sold her car to finance a waiter she met on holiday 15 years ago. She insists that he loves her despite the fact that he has a wife and family."
See that sort of thing all too often. You can't tell them. They have to learn the hard way it seems. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is easy, friendship is harder, relationship the hardest of all.
The more effort required the greater the reward.
What is open and honest now may not be tomorrow. I honestly get on with a lot of people I interact with, but if we take it a stage further, often a friendship won't develop.
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In my opinion, I don't agree many people would say anything for a shag, I definitely don't play like that, I have found that I enjoy the company of the ladies more when am not in any kind of relationship with them, they always put more effort in and they are always sweet , once any kind of relationship is established, everything goes downhill , so I seriously avoid the emotional relationships. I believe most players do the same thing. My motto is simple, you can enjoy me to the max as long as you accept it is not a relationship. |
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I don't think it really matters that much what you put on your profile, most people won't even read it anyway.
I've read some profiles on here and thought 'not for me' but then I've met the person at a social or something and actually got on really well with them. On the other hand I've read some profiles and thought to myself 'yes, we're a perfect match' but when I've actually gone and met them it just hasn't worked out.
I think, as long as your honest, you can put a little or as much as you like in your profile but the only way you're actually going to find out if you really like someone and want to get intimate with them is by actually meeting them, not by reading a profile, however well or badly, long or short, detailed or scantly written it actually is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think that some people are unwilling or unable to believe that they've been taken in or conned and will continue to defend the person whose deceived them.
A family friend has systematically been relieved of her and her late husband's life savings, sold her house and moved to a static caravan and sold her car to finance a waiter she met on holiday 15 years ago. She insists that he loves her despite the fact that he has a wife and family."
That is so sad, bless her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm open, but also closed. I only tell folk what i want them to know.
"
This, we are all a lot deeper than a profile page. I can only be as open and upfront as I'm willing to be. And I've found taking time with friends is working out more, than covering everything with strangers. |
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"I do think that some people are unwilling or unable to believe that they've been taken in or conned and will continue to defend the person whose deceived them.
A family friend has systematically been relieved of her and her late husband's life savings, sold her house and moved to a static caravan and sold her car to finance a waiter she met on holiday 15 years ago. She insists that he loves her despite the fact that he has a wife and family.
See that sort of thing all too often. You can't tell them. They have to learn the hard way it seems."
15 years later living in accommodation she has to vacate for two weeks a year, travelling everywhere on public transport and living for weekly phone calls she still hasn't learned. In the early days people tried to gently, then less gently counsel her. Her response was to tell them they didn't know what other was like to be lonely. I think she's probably more lonely now than she could have imagined |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
I tend to be open... I've never had a hook up from here and tend to get to know people before a social meet and playdate.
That allows both parties to get to know each other a little.
But each to their own I guess. |
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"I do think that some people are unwilling or unable to believe that they've been taken in or conned and will continue to defend the person whose deceived them.
A family friend has systematically been relieved of her and her late husband's life savings, sold her house and moved to a static caravan and sold her car to finance a waiter she met on holiday 15 years ago. She insists that he loves her despite the fact that he has a wife and family.
See that sort of thing all too often. You can't tell them. They have to learn the hard way it seems.
15 years later living in accommodation she has to vacate for two weeks a year, travelling everywhere on public transport and living for weekly phone calls she still hasn't learned. In the early days people tried to gently, then less gently counsel her. Her response was to tell them they didn't know what other was like to be lonely. I think she's probably more lonely now than she could have imagined "
That’s incredibly sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m honest, not sure about completely open as I have trust issues so people have to earn my trust. But I don’t put on a false front, you get what I am warts and all x |
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