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Interracial/mixed religion relationship advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've recently met a lovely Muslim background (but non-believing) girl who came here from Africa. We've seen each other a few times and it looks like it's heading towards a possible relationship.
Things got naughty the first time we met but she says she wants to wait a while before we go all the way.
The only issue is she says her family (who are back home) wouldn't approve of us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't it just tradition for families to dislike the new love interest?
Maybe find out how religious her family are as it may cause problems for her. Enjoy it in the meantime.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would suggest just enjoy dating and spending time together - if things develop more over the next few months then she is probably the best person to advise you on dealing with her family and cross-cultural issues. Don't overthink things at the moment and just enjoy getting to know your new friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fact she doesn't believe doesn't equate to familial approval.
Her generation may be cool with it, her parents generation will have other ideas.
If you are just shagging, get on with it
If you want to make more of it, I'd get ready for a bumpy ride.
I have a relative married to an English born Muslim.
The expectation and responsibilities put on her (and them) by his family are not great. |
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"I've recently met a lovely Muslim background (but non-believing) girl who came here from Africa. We've seen each other a few times and it looks like it's heading towards a possible relationship.
Things got naughty the first time we met but she says she wants to wait a while before we go all the way.
The only issue is she says her family (who are back home) wouldn't approve of us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?
Thanks"
Do the family understand she isn't a practising Muslim? Are you practising a religion yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could not be arsed dealing with a family who disapproved due to such nonesense as religion.
I’m sure there will be plenty of judgement/interfering etc along the way.
Not something I’d have the slightest interest in. |
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"I could not be arsed dealing with a family who disapproved due to such nonesense as religion.
I’m sure there will be plenty of judgement/interfering etc along the way.
Not something I’d have the slightest interest in. "
Marriages where people have different value systems are disastrous, you don't want to end up like a Jeremy Corbyn where you divorce because you can't even agree what type of school your kids should go to. If people get their value system from religion it's a pretty valid reason to object to two people being together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've recently met a lovely Muslim background (but non-believing) girl who came here from Africa. We've seen each other a few times and it looks like it's heading towards a possible relationship.
Things got naughty the first time we met but she says she wants to wait a while before we go all the way.
The only issue is she says her family (who are back home) wouldn't approve of us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?
Thanks
Do the family understand she isn't a practising Muslim? Are you practising a religion yourself?"
Yes they know she doesn't. I'm not religious myself |
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"I've recently met a lovely Muslim background (but non-believing) girl who came here from Africa. We've seen each other a few times and it looks like it's heading towards a possible relationship.
Things got naughty the first time we met but she says she wants to wait a while before we go all the way.
The only issue is she says her family (who are back home) wouldn't approve of us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?
Thanks
Do the family understand she isn't a practising Muslim? Are you practising a religion yourself?
Yes they know she doesn't. I'm not religious myself"
If you like the girl enough and there comes a point where marriage is on the cards then you could consider the token gesture of a conversion to islam. I've made this kind of accomodation (not religious) in our marriage. Her family didn't demand or expect it, but i did it and we get along well. |
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Where is she from Nigeria?
Is this her way of telling you her family are Boko Haram suporters and she left to get away from it, and that you could be murdered by visiting them? Is she from one of the many many many places in Africa where being a christian is dangerous? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Where is she from Nigeria?
Is this her way of telling you her family are Boko Haram suporters and she left to get away from it, and that you could be murdered by visiting them? Is she from one of the many many many places in Africa where being a christian is dangerous?"
She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've recently met a lovely Muslim background (but non-believing) girl who came here from Africa. We've seen each other a few times and it looks like it's heading towards a possible relationship.
Things got naughty the first time we met but she says she wants to wait a while before we go all the way.
The only issue is she says her family (who are back home) wouldn't approve of us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?
Thanks
Do the family understand she isn't a practising Muslim? Are you practising a religion yourself?
Yes they know she doesn't. I'm not religious myself
If you like the girl enough and there comes a point where marriage is on the cards then you could consider the token gesture of a conversion to islam. I've made this kind of accomodation (not religious) in our marriage. Her family didn't demand or expect it, but i did it and we get along well. "
Thank you. Glad it's going well for you |
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"She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist"
I'll take your news for it, even though the top news stories for Eritrea are EU investigating funding of the president which has created a climate of human rights abuses.
The police using live rounds of ammo on protestors in a "typical" crackdown.
Erithians violently protesting in sen.
And Ethiopia cracking down on one of their fundamentalist groups.
sounds like a lovely place where they will totally understand you not being muslim. |
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"Where is she from Nigeria?
Is this her way of telling you her family are Boko Haram suporters and she left to get away from it, and that you could be murdered by visiting them? Is she from one of the many many many places in Africa where being a christian is dangerous?
She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist"
What's the swinging scene in eritrea like? Any good clubs? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Where is she from Nigeria?
Is this her way of telling you her family are Boko Haram suporters and she left to get away from it, and that you could be murdered by visiting them? Is she from one of the many many many places in Africa where being a christian is dangerous?
She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist
What's the swinging scene in eritrea like? Any good clubs?"
No idea lol |
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"Where is she from Nigeria?
Is this her way of telling you her family are Boko Haram suporters and she left to get away from it, and that you could be murdered by visiting them? Is she from one of the many many many places in Africa where being a christian is dangerous?
She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist
What's the swinging scene in eritrea like? Any good clubs?
No idea lol"
Ask her. If she knows the answer without googling it then she might be a keeper. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She's from Eritrea. Not Boko Haram or any other extremist
I'll take your news for it, even though the top news stories for Eritrea are EU investigating funding of the president which has created a climate of human rights abuses.
The police using live rounds of ammo on protestors in a "typical" crackdown.
Erithians violently protesting in sen.
And Ethiopia cracking down on one of their fundamentalist groups.
sounds like a lovely place where they will totally understand you not being muslim."
We're talking about a young intelligent woman here - not a terrorist network |
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