FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The cost of divorce
The cost of divorce
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could always try mediation which is much cheaper than solicitors and helps you come to an agreement which you then make legally binding  "
Legally binding via a solicitor? |
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A member of my family got divorced and they did it all themselves without the need for solicitors.
It was easy for them because they split amicably, didn't have any children and didn't have much in the way of assets to split.
I would imagine it is much more complicated if you have kids and a house and solicitors may be needed. |
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I did my own divorce.
It can be simple.
If you have children use the courts to ensure both parents and their children's rights.
If you do not have children and you are both sensible then it is quite cheap to divorce and there is NO need for anyone else to be involved.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad..."
I did mine online, everything went fine, although everything was agreed amicably in advance xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad..."
What’s the £500 for exactly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think mine ended up costing £360 which was just the court fees of you both agree and been seperated over 2 years it’s straight forward. Don’t use any companies just get the things you need from government websites |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad...
What’s the £500 for exactly?"
No idea, my friend said she'd looked on the .gov site and it said £450 to file to court. I just rounded it up.  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad...
What’s the £500 for exactly?"
I think its court costs and processing the divorce. |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
If you go to the gov.uk website, you can download the forms and the fee is £550.
This is what I have done, ours is straightforward, we have agreed between us arrangements for the kids and we had little in the way of assets to divide. No solicitor involved thankfully, although I understand our situation is pretty rare.
I’m looking forward to it all being complete early in the new year, it will be good to have it officially over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad...
What’s the £500 for exactly?
No idea, my friend said she'd looked on the .gov site and it said £450 to file to court. I just rounded it up. "
I think the fee is now £550 but that will cover everything from filing the petition to getting the Decre Absolute.
If there are issues to do with children, that is dealt with completely separately to the divorce and is separate paperwork and fee.
You don’t need a solicitor to get divorced.
If financial matters can’t be sorted between the parties, then that’s another fee too and more paperwork. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house."
I've read about a new financial agreement thing that solicitors can sort. Sorry it's vague I need to read more about it. Good luck. x |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house."
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The system is a bit weird now.
You get divorced in one court but if one party starts financial proceedings (Ancillary Relief) then those proceedings get dealt with another court entirely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The system is a bit weird now.
You get divorced in one court but if one party starts financial proceedings (Ancillary Relief) then those proceedings get dealt with another court entirely "
Marriage should be banned.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad..."
If you're amicable it can be fine. If not then it's not going to work.
we went the cheep route, was a little under a grand. It wasn't easy, these things aren't. But at least it didn't take several years and several thousand quid. |
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"The system is a bit weird now.
You get divorced in one court but if one party starts financial proceedings (Ancillary Relief) then those proceedings get dealt with another court entirely
Marriage should be banned. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The system is a bit weird now.
You get divorced in one court but if one party starts financial proceedings (Ancillary Relief) then those proceedings get dealt with another court entirely
Marriage should be banned. "
Certain marriages should be I agree
Middle aged women who marry some tomboy from another country and who then find out they have nothing in common for example  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now.. "
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce. |
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My ex and I had been separated for 5 years, the eldest lived with him, the youngest lived with me, we had no assets to fight over, no property, we paid half each and filled out the forms together so everything was correct and it was utterly painless for both of us |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce."
Yes that is what we did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce."
It’s pointless really.
It means nothing l |
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It's a lot easier and cheaper to split with a partner if you don't marry them.
I was with the mother of my children for fifteen years, we had two children and never married. We agreed about children and split assets fifty fifty. . Didn't cost us a penny.
It helped that we both had good jobs and neither of us was going to be poor afterwards, but as a general rule the more you are bitter and twisted and irrational about the whole thing, the more it will cost. |
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I divorced my ex husband in the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, despite me leaving him for another man. Shaggy had just proposed to me, ex had met someone else and the divorce was just a formality.
We had no assets so to speak of and no children to consider so we didn’t see the point in wasting a lot of money on a solicitor. I downloaded the forms from the government website, filled them in and emailed them to the ex so that he didn’t get any nasty surprises. I explained that it makes him look like a bastard but it’s the quickest way to get it over and done with. He ok’d what I put before I sent it to the courts. It cost us £460 quid and that was just the court fee. Ex hubby signed and returned the paperwork very quickly but our divorce still dragged on far longer than anticipated due to how busy the courts were.
Shaggy and I planned our wedding, booked everything and as it got closer we both started to panic a little as my decree nisi still hadn’t arrived. It arrived with 2 weeks to spare! As soon as the appropriate time had elapsed I took a day off work and went to the court, forms in hand, to apply for the decree absolute in person. Six weeks before our big day I had that all important bit of paper which meant we could book the appointment to post our marriage notices 4 weeks before the wedding which is the legal minimum now. |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
Yes that is what we did"
It's all a bit silly. There was a case recently where the woman petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. He contested it and there was a trial where the judge found he hadn't been unreasonable enough, hence she couldn't have a divorce.
On any civilised country, if someone does not want to remain married, they should be able to end the marriage without nonsense like that. |
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"I divorced my ex husband in the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, despite me leaving him for another man. Shaggy had just proposed to me, ex had met someone else and the divorce was just a formality.
We had no assets so to speak of and no children to consider so we didn’t see the point in wasting a lot of money on a solicitor. I downloaded the forms from the government website, filled them in and emailed them to the ex so that he didn’t get any nasty surprises. I explained that it makes him look like a bastard but it’s the quickest way to get it over and done with. He ok’d what I put before I sent it to the courts. It cost us £460 quid and that was just the court fee. Ex hubby signed and returned the paperwork very quickly but our divorce still dragged on far longer than anticipated due to how busy the courts were.
Shaggy and I planned our wedding, booked everything and as it got closer we both started to panic a little as my decree nisi still hadn’t arrived. It arrived with 2 weeks to spare! As soon as the appropriate time had elapsed I took a day off work and went to the court, forms in hand, to apply for the decree absolute in person. Six weeks before our big day I had that all important bit of paper which meant we could book the appointment to post our marriage notices 4 weeks before the wedding which is the legal minimum now."
Technically that collusion with your ex is a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and thus illegal.
Which shows how daft the whole system is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I divorced my ex husband in the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, despite me leaving him for another man. Shaggy had just proposed to me, ex had met someone else and the divorce was just a formality.
We had no assets so to speak of and no children to consider so we didn’t see the point in wasting a lot of money on a solicitor. I downloaded the forms from the government website, filled them in and emailed them to the ex so that he didn’t get any nasty surprises. I explained that it makes him look like a bastard but it’s the quickest way to get it over and done with. He ok’d what I put before I sent it to the courts. It cost us £460 quid and that was just the court fee. Ex hubby signed and returned the paperwork very quickly but our divorce still dragged on far longer than anticipated due to how busy the courts were.
Shaggy and I planned our wedding, booked everything and as it got closer we both started to panic a little as my decree nisi still hadn’t arrived. It arrived with 2 weeks to spare! As soon as the appropriate time had elapsed I took a day off work and went to the court, forms in hand, to apply for the decree absolute in person. Six weeks before our big day I had that all important bit of paper which meant we could book the appointment to post our marriage notices 4 weeks before the wedding which is the legal minimum now.
Technically that collusion with your ex is a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and thus illegal.
Which shows how daft the whole system is. "
.
Damn that legal shit.....I suppose running her over is illegal as well  |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
Yes that is what we did
It's all a bit silly. There was a case recently where the woman petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. He contested it and there was a trial where the judge found he hadn't been unreasonable enough, hence she couldn't have a divorce.
On any civilised country, if someone does not want to remain married, they should be able to end the marriage without nonsense like that. "
I agree.. it's madness ... my ex didn't want a divorce but what would have been the point in going to court, its not like if the judge said no then I would say "Ok sorry my mistake let's stay married!" Just means you have to long it out! And that's when arguments start! Especially as my ex wouldn't move out till we were divorced and he had his share of the house! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now.. "
I have asked him too but apparently he has no money |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
It’s pointless really.
It means nothing l"
Unfortunately is doesn't mean nothing.
Friend of mine had the judge apply all of his ex wife's court costs to him due to the reasons cited in the petition. It was the only thing seen by the judge and even included an agreement that each other's solicitors fees would be at their own care. Judge saw fit not to adhere to their wishes and put all costs at his feet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
It’s pointless really.
It means nothing l
Unfortunately is doesn't mean nothing.
Friend of mine had the judge apply all of his ex wife's court costs to him due to the reasons cited in the petition. It was the only thing seen by the judge and even included an agreement that each other's solicitors fees would be at their own care. Judge saw fit not to adhere to their wishes and put all costs at his feet"
Then he should have written to the court to say he wanted to appear before the Judge at the Decree Nisi hearing to object to the costs awarded. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Could always try mediation which is much cheaper than solicitors and helps you come to an agreement which you then make legally binding
Legally binding via a solicitor? "
Yeah but if you've the agreement all in place already all you would pay is the cost of having them draw up and affirm the agreement (rather than allowing them to run up costs negotiating it for you) - the mediation service may provide that option too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date.. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"A member of my family got divorced and they did it all themselves without the need for solicitors.
It was easy for them because they split amicably, didn't have any children and didn't have much in the way of assets to split.
I would imagine it is much more complicated if you have kids and a house and solicitors may be needed."
Mine was the same, we sat and listed everything we were splitting, I was keeping the house which was only worth 10k more than we paid for it so I got a loan & gave her £5k. Walked into solicitors not ten yards from each other in the high street. Think my bill was about £250 in the end. This was 1992 though.
S |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
Yes that is what we did
It's all a bit silly. There was a case recently where the woman petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. He contested it and there was a trial where the judge found he hadn't been unreasonable enough, hence she couldn't have a divorce.
On any civilised country, if someone does not want to remain married, they should be able to end the marriage without nonsense like that. "
Why? They weren't forced to marry them, if you freely enter into a lifelong contract then don't expect it to be easy to back out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The system is a bit weird now.
You get divorced in one court but if one party starts financial proceedings (Ancillary Relief) then those proceedings get dealt with another court entirely
Marriage should be banned.
Certain marriages should be I agree
Middle aged women who marry some tomboy from another country and who then find out they have nothing in common for example "
But he said he loved me!!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could always try mediation which is much cheaper than solicitors and helps you come to an agreement which you then make legally binding
Legally binding via a solicitor?
Yeah but if you've the agreement all in place already all you would pay is the cost of having them draw up and affirm the agreement (rather than allowing them to run up costs negotiating it for you) - the mediation service may provide that option too."
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date.."
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date..
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them. "
No they don’t. I have seen wording on Consent Orders where one is acting in person about either having had independent legal advice or being happy with what the order says.
Whichever way it is, if a judge doesn’t think the order is fair, they won’t approve the order even if both parties have agreed to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got divorced approx 10 years ago. We did it ourselves with no solicitor. We split the house 50/50 and he bought me out. I took a few things from the house and my personal possesions. Our children are adults so no need to sort anything there. If we had used solicitors then i would have got a bigger % of the house but then id have had solicitors fees to pay. It cost a few hundred doing it ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date..
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them.
No they don’t. I have seen wording on Consent Orders where one is acting in person about either having had independent legal advice or being happy with what the order says.
Whichever way it is, if a judge doesn’t think the order is fair, they won’t approve the order even if both parties have agreed to it."
That's bullshit!! (I mean the judge not you.) If both parties agree it's up to them what they do. |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
Yes that is what we did
It's all a bit silly. There was a case recently where the woman petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. He contested it and there was a trial where the judge found he hadn't been unreasonable enough, hence she couldn't have a divorce.
On any civilised country, if someone does not want to remain married, they should be able to end the marriage without nonsense like that.
Why? They weren't forced to marry them, if you freely enter into a lifelong contract then don't expect it to be easy to back out! "
It's not a contract. Try enforcing the promise to love someone for ever in a court.
The idea that someone should be forced by the state to stay in a relationship they do not want to be in is grotesque.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date..
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them.
No they don’t. I have seen wording on Consent Orders where one is acting in person about either having had independent legal advice or being happy with what the order says.
Whichever way it is, if a judge doesn’t think the order is fair, they won’t approve the order even if both parties have agreed to it.
That's bullshit!! (I mean the judge not you.) If both parties agree it's up to them what they do. "
I suppose a judge may think one side is maybe being forced into giving up more than is fair. I think it’s good that a judge will try and make sure things are fair to both sides. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date..
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them.
No they don’t. I have seen wording on Consent Orders where one is acting in person about either having had independent legal advice or being happy with what the order says.
Whichever way it is, if a judge doesn’t think the order is fair, they won’t approve the order even if both parties have agreed to it.
That's bullshit!! (I mean the judge not you.) If both parties agree it's up to them what they do.
I suppose a judge may think one side is maybe being forced into giving up more than is fair. I think it’s good that a judge will try and make sure things are fair to both sides."
Yeah that's true, hadn't thought of that. I take it back. Yeah good point. x |
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How about maintenance after the divorce?
I know there are guidelines but the amount she would be left with is nowhere near enough to cover the mortgage even if I completely gave up my share of the house. |
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"The £500 is for court forms to go to court and be processed. Looking into myself but need to be seperated 2 years for mine. I'm counting down.
We may need solicitors on top though as have house and children and he's not playing ball on the financial side unless it's through solicitors with respect to the house.
If one of you gives reasons why then you don't have to wait .. I would let him slag me off if I was you .. then you can do it now..
The petitioner can give reasons (unreasonable behaviour). Respondent can make statement such as: Disagree with petitioner's statement but agree marriage has irretrievably broken down and as such won't contest divorce.
Yes that is what we did
It's all a bit silly. There was a case recently where the woman petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. He contested it and there was a trial where the judge found he hadn't been unreasonable enough, hence she couldn't have a divorce.
On any civilised country, if someone does not want to remain married, they should be able to end the marriage without nonsense like that.
Why? They weren't forced to marry them, if you freely enter into a lifelong contract then don't expect it to be easy to back out!
It's not a contract. Try enforcing the promise to love someone for ever in a court.
The idea that someone should be forced by the state to stay in a relationship they do not want to be in is grotesque.
"
Your comment was about a civilised country. A hallmark of an uncivilised country is that contracts / deals / agreements whatever you want to call them are broken at whim. |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"
It's not a contract. Try enforcing the promise to love someone for ever in a court.
The idea that someone should be forced by the state to stay in a relationship they do not want to be in is grotesque.
"
It is a contract, because of the legal perks that come with it. You're not promising to love each other, you're promising the government that you're a legit couple so that you can get the benefits that they offer.
#cynic
IMO, it shouldn't be easy to divorce at all. Because you've taken all the advantages while you're married that aren't offered to those who aren't married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been divorced 3 times and its cost me a small fortune.
My advice us if it can be agreed amicably, do it online and avoid solicitors.
The most important thing is to get the financial settlement rubber stamped. And make it a full and final settlement so they cannot come back at you later date for more.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i've just started on this..no kids, house etc, and long time seperated so it should be very simple. Ive looked into the DIY option, but i need to get a financial agreement, which is completely separate to the divorce, just makes sure the ex cant ever claim or try to claim any money, inheritances etc...which without this agreement, despite being divorced,they sometimes can. The financial agreement gets done after the rest of it, and ive got a solicitor who is doing the whole thing for £650. I'd rather pay a bit more and have something i know isn't going to come back to bite at a later date..
Don't you both have to get a solicitor to sort the financial agreement? My friend was told they both had to have one representing them.
No they don’t. I have seen wording on Consent Orders where one is acting in person about either having had independent legal advice or being happy with what the order says.
Whichever way it is, if a judge doesn’t think the order is fair, they won’t approve the order even if both parties have agreed to it.
That's bullshit!! (I mean the judge not you.) If both parties agree it's up to them what they do. "
i suppose its a good idea to try tp protect someone if the other partner is really out to screw them...but my solicitor told me as we have no contact for years etc, there will be no haggling over money etc, that the consent order is just a matter of being officially stamped through the court after we've both signed it..thats what the extra £150 or so on top of the divorce cost is for.. |
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"A friend of mine is going through a divorce at the moment and the cost of it is mind blowing!
Then they must be arguing and using solicitors letters.
When no one is adult, the cost is high."
They are. He is being a prick. |
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"A friend of mine is going through a divorce at the moment and the cost of it is mind blowing!
Then they must be arguing and using solicitors letters.
When no one is adult, the cost is high.
They are. He is being a prick. "
Not that you're biased or anything |
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"A friend of mine is going through a divorce at the moment and the cost of it is mind blowing!
Then they must be arguing and using solicitors letters.
When no one is adult, the cost is high.
They are. He is being a prick.
Not that you're biased or anything"
Unless you know the situation you can't really comment with your usual brand of belligerence. He is being a prick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I divorced my ex husband in the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, despite me leaving him for another man. Shaggy had just proposed to me, ex had met someone else and the divorce was just a formality.
We had no assets so to speak of and no children to consider so we didn’t see the point in wasting a lot of money on a solicitor. I downloaded the forms from the government website, filled them in and emailed them to the ex so that he didn’t get any nasty surprises. I explained that it makes him look like a bastard but it’s the quickest way to get it over and done with. He ok’d what I put before I sent it to the courts. It cost us £460 quid and that was just the court fee. Ex hubby signed and returned the paperwork very quickly but our divorce still dragged on far longer than anticipated due to how busy the courts were.
Shaggy and I planned our wedding, booked everything and as it got closer we both started to panic a little as my decree nisi still hadn’t arrived. It arrived with 2 weeks to spare! As soon as the appropriate time had elapsed I took a day off work and went to the court, forms in hand, to apply for the decree absolute in person. Six weeks before our big day I had that all important bit of paper which meant we could book the appointment to post our marriage notices 4 weeks before the wedding which is the legal minimum now.
Technically that collusion with your ex is a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and thus illegal.
Which shows how daft the whole system is. "
This is absolute rubbish. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been divorced 3 times and its cost me a small fortune.
My advice us if it can be agreed amicably, do it online and avoid solicitors.
The most important thing is to get the financial settlement rubber stamped. And make it a full and final settlement so they cannot come back at you later date for more.
"
The financial stuff is important. |
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"A friend of mine is going through a divorce at the moment and the cost of it is mind blowing!
Then they must be arguing and using solicitors letters.
When no one is adult, the cost is high.
They are. He is being a prick.
Not that you're biased or anything
Unless you know the situation you can't really comment with your usual brand of belligerence. He is being a prick. "
I just find it amusing when people can't see their own bias. You don't need to watch a porn film to know what's in it. |
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"A friend of mine is going through a divorce at the moment and the cost of it is mind blowing!
Then they must be arguing and using solicitors letters.
When no one is adult, the cost is high.
They are. He is being a prick.
Not that you're biased or anything
Unless you know the situation you can't really comment with your usual brand of belligerence. He is being a prick.
I just find it amusing when people can't see their own bias. You don't need to watch a porn film to know what's in it."
Yeah... Whatever you say |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
My divorce itself wont cost me much... however the fall out from it will cost me £000's and take me a long time to recover financially.
But when you have a child and want to make sure they are looked after it's the decision I made. It doent help that she now wants my pension which is worth bugger all. But hey ho. |
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I divorced using DIY forms from the court and no solicitor. Did it on separation grounds and it was a doddle. In fact as he was on tax credits he technically divorced me.
There were just basic court costs to pay.
We had to pay a solicitor to deal with house issues as I took over the property and he needed to recind his rights to it. But that wasn't too much.
That was over 15 years ago though...
Nita |
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If you can manage to agree terms amicably without a solicitor, go for it DIY.
Especially if children are involed.
I've seen amicable separations turn into nasty divorces once solicitors get involved. 
Nita |
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"Solicitors cost thousands, is it worth doing it online for £500? Has anyone got any experience of online divorce DIY form filing? Good or bad..."
It all depends on the ex......
If they are reasonable and its an amicabke divorce then yes online could work.
If anything else get a lawyer as you will need it.
I'm 2years almost trying to get a divorce from the ex  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We did it ourselves, got the forms online and as he was divorcing me, he was on benefits so we didn’t actually pay a penny, was all over in nine months but ours was straightforward as no property etc.
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering if it would depend on how amicable the people getting divorced are?
"
Good point. Solicitors may be necessary if one party is being an arse.
Thank you for all the replies, I really appreciate it. I shall pass the info on to my friend. 
In all seriousness.... you forumites are a bloody good bunch of people. x |
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