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Listening skills
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I was having a chat with a recruitment agency today about a potential new contract interview this week. What struck me as strange was that the interviewer talked incessantly, leaving very little time for me to answer any questions. In fact so much so that the interviewer made assumptions about what I was going to say....Now I know I will have the interview but it was a rather bad example of listening skills ina position where those skills are extremely important.
What experience do you have in people's good or bad listening skills? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I hate it when people just make assumptions about what I am going to say but I have learnt over the years to let them finish and then, eventually.... put them straight. And if they continue to do so... I tend to go back to the original answer... tedious.. I know.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people who are hiring and firing get carried away with their own self importance and thats why most interviews are conducted by a panel, these days,I understand.
Even in small companies where the owner interviews they tend to take a colleague in with them as its a recognised practice in HR and one persons angle on something is often clouded by their prejudices and companies cannot risk their operation being ruined by one bad apple.
Some people just don't have the capability of separating personal from work which is a shame, but does go on.
The first company I ever joined as a naive 16 year old straight from school had a personnel department that was the biggest gossip shop in the whole of the building! I got appendicitis and when I returned to work you'd have thought my colleagues had carried out the surgery as they knew every single detail of my op complications, told in confidence to personnel.
Mind you in those days it was commonplace for the boss to chase you round the desk and the blokes from purchasing to ask for photocopies of your boobs! How times have changed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate it when people just make assumptions about what I am going to say but I have learnt over the years to let them finish and then, eventually.... put them straight. And if they continue to do so... I tend to go back to the original answer... tedious.. I know...."
I usually find those that jump to conclusions on what I will say/how I will react tend to get it wrong anyway, lol |
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"I hate it when people just make assumptions about what I am going to say but I have learnt over the years to let them finish and then, eventually.... put them straight. And if they continue to do so... I tend to go back to the original answer... tedious.. I know...."
Now how did i know you were going to say "Oh yes please, i'll have some more."
Chocolate anyone? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I hate it when people just make assumptions about what I am going to say but I have learnt over the years to let them finish and then, eventually.... put them straight. And if they continue to do so... I tend to go back to the original answer... tedious.. I know....
Now how did i know you were going to say "Oh yes please, i'll have some more."
Chocolate anyone?"
should have called the thread "oral skills" ... |
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"I was having a chat with a recruitment agency today about a potential new contract interview this week. What struck me as strange was that the interviewer talked incessantly, leaving very little time for me to answer any questions. In fact so much so that the interviewer made assumptions about what I was going to say....Now I know I will have the interview but it was a rather bad example of listening skills ina position where those skills are extremely important.
What experience do you have in people's good or bad listening skills?"
I know the feeling well, i can never get a word in with you ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We can talk at about 200 words a minute ( some women a lot more  )
But whilst listening can think at 600 words per minute
So good interviewers as pertinent questions and listen and think about the reply
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I was having a chat with a recruitment agency today about a potential new contract interview this week. What struck me as strange was that the interviewer talked incessantly, leaving very little time for me to answer any questions. In fact so much so that the interviewer made assumptions about what I was going to say....Now I know I will have the interview but it was a rather bad example of listening skills ina position where those skills are extremely important.
What experience do you have in people's good or bad listening skills?
I know the feeling well, i can never get a word in with you ..."
ooooh you were lurking in the background... I never felt a thing before that post...;-) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was blessed to have a mentorand confidant in my life....he passed away some years ago....
He was a great listener....used to terrify me at first...this sanguine face...silent and non interupting...
He`d penetrate to the heart of what I wasn`t saying lol..
My ex was a terrible listner..alwys deflecting what I was saying...
That cut both ways come the end...sadly... |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"We can talk at about 200 words a minute ( some women a lot more )
But whilst listening can think at 600 words per minute
So good interviewers as pertinent questions and listen and think about the reply
"
Exactly.. and that did not happen. I was in two minds about pointing it out but then I thought it might spoil my chances of getting this nice contract... |
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"We can talk at about 200 words a minute ( some women a lot more )
But whilst listening can think at 600 words per minute
So good interviewers as pertinent questions and listen and think about the reply
"
I was going to ask if that meant we could listen to three people at once.
Then i realised that much of the BBC, TV and Radio already assume we can, as the number of programmes where more than one speak at the same time is getting silly. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I was blessed to have a mentorand confidant in my life....he passed away some years ago....
He was a great listener....used to terrify me at first...this sanguine face...silent and non interupting...
He`d penetrate to the heart of what I wasn`t saying lol..
My ex was a terrible listner..alwys deflecting what I was saying...
That cut both ways come the end...sadly..."
I often think this about your posts... you have a great way of going straight to the essence - often laced with that earthy and grounded humour (or is that the Devon cider?) - it makes good posts xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was blessed to have a mentorand confidant in my life....he passed away some years ago....
He was a great listener....used to terrify me at first...this sanguine face...silent and non interupting...
He`d penetrate to the heart of what I wasn`t saying lol..
My ex was a terrible listner..alwys deflecting what I was saying...
That cut both ways come the end...sadly...I often think this about your posts... you have a great way of going straight to the essence - often laced with that earthy and grounded humour (or is that the Devon cider?) - it makes good posts xx"
Thank you %*
If my humour comes across, then its a result lol
You`ve a fine style yerself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Coming from the sales arena listening skills are vitally important and from what i believe recruitment is no different as they are either selling a candidate to an employer or a job/position to an candidate.
One of the key skills has to be being an effective listener and processing what they have heard.
An old sales director of mine once said to me, you have one mouth and two ears for a reason, work it out and you'll do well!
And its true talk less and listen more!  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"[Removed by poster at 21/09/11 21:19:14]"
That is absolutely dreadful and it surely must have left you feeling bad, unheard, perhaps even unimportant. How very very rude and self absorbed of this interviewer.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Coming from the sales arena listening skills are vitally important and from what i believe recruitment is no different as they are either selling a candidate to an employer or a job/position to an candidate.
One of the key skills has to be being an effective listener and processing what they have heard.
An old sales director of mine once said to me, you have one mouth and two ears for a reason, work it out and you'll do well!
And its true talk less and listen more! "
Very good point about the ears being ther in a greater porportion and also about being in sales you need, above all, good listening skills. But I think it is, as some pointed out, also quite important in your personal life. I find my friends, both male and female, come to me with problems THEY want to talk about... and all they want of me.. is the listening, the reflecting, the mirroring.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming from the sales arena listening skills are vitally important and from what i believe recruitment is no different as they are either selling a candidate to an employer or a job/position to an candidate.
One of the key skills has to be being an effective listener and processing what they have heard.
An old sales director of mine once said to me, you have one mouth and two ears for a reason, work it out and you'll do well!
And its true talk less and listen more! Very good point about the ears being ther in a greater porportion and also about being in sales you need, above all, good listening skills. But I think it is, as some pointed out, also quite important in your personal life. I find my friends, both male and female, come to me with problems THEY want to talk about... and all they want of me.. is the listening, the reflecting, the mirroring...."
Its all that we can give sometimes..an ear...no advice....just the opportunity that they`ve been heard....
Been true fer me...something shared is halved kinda thing.. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I'd an interview about 5 weeks ago, my second with a company reference a Senior Managerial post.
This interview was with the GM, so I was expecting it to be at least 30-45 minutes.
He started by welcoming me, then announcing that he'd failed to read my CV, and knew nothing about me from the other managers who'd interviewed me.
But before I was to tell him about myself and my past career etc, he explained that he wanted to tell me first about the Company, their vision, this particular estblishment and what type of person he was seeking.
Fair enough! There then followeda quarter hour of total "buzz-words and Corporate Speak" such that I thought he swallowed a Manual of Gobbledygook. It was totally untelligible.
At the end of the PC drivel, he announced the interview was completed, but when I asked him about what he wanted to know about me, he merely waved his hand as if to shoo me away, and mutterred, "I'm sure you'll be OK for us!"
I learnt nothing from or about him; he learnt nothing about me at all. He was a total and utter waste of time.
By the way, the job wasn't suitable for numerous other reasons. None of the other 4 candidates took it, so they are scrabbling around, against a time limit, trying to find someone. |
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it tickles me at work during breaktimes when certain people keep hogging the conversation,i bury myself in my paper and keep to myself eventually the "talker" says "you dont talk much do you" without loking up i reply "i dont get much chance round here do i?",talker makes litle claw motion with hands and goes "ooh,ooh!". prat!.  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"it tickles me at work during breaktimes when certain people keep hogging the conversation,i bury myself in my paper and keep to myself eventually the "talker" says "you dont talk much do you" without loking up i reply "i dont get much chance round here do i?",talker makes litle claw motion with hands and goes "ooh,ooh!". prat!. "
quite agree - a good conversation does mean sharing, not monologue, eh? |
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"it tickles me at work during breaktimes when certain people keep hogging the conversation,i bury myself in my paper and keep to myself eventually the "talker" says "you dont talk much do you" without loking up i reply "i dont get much chance round here do i?",talker makes litle claw motion with hands and goes "ooh,ooh!". prat!. "
Years back we had a talker,an older bloke who rattled on for yonks. At one point, describing his National Service, he said that all Sargeants were bastards.
At which point a new lad, only 16, said "You'd be a General then."
Kept the old bloke quiet for a fair while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good listening skills mean that when you do talk you end up saying a lot less to clarify points. Giving you more time to listen and think before forming opinions.
It's a skill some have naturally, others have to learn, sadly some never do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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alas OP this is one thing that is quite common in the recruitment industry.
it is generally a fee based industry where the recruiters will earn money from each placement along with the business as a whole.
you tend to find sales minded people abound as opposed to 'operators' and sadly what they are looking for is a placement to generate revenue and commission.
i have worked in the sector for over 12 years now and apart from a few scarce individuals, i have found it hard to warm to anyone usually because i can spot rhetoric and bullshit a mile off and certainly wouldn't sell my grandma down the line for 50p like a lot of people in the industry would.
sorry to any other genuine recruiters out there, but the majority set a rod for all our backs and it is no wonder that both applicants and clients view us with an element of suspicion and cynicism.
to the OP, i wish you well in your job search x |
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