FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Racist incident? How would you react?

Racist incident? How would you react?

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ara JTV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol East

I'm Scottish, so I'm one of these people who goes blue before they turn pink.

It's OK to mock your own skin colour - it's not OK to mock someone else's.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think I would have laughed With him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The joke is lame. That’s why the conversation fell flat. I don’t see any racism in there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield

There was no need for it to fall flat. The black guy made the comment and it was a joke, and not racist one anyway.

If it had come from a white guy who didn't know him it would be potentially awkward.

The silence was more offensive than just carrying on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

I'm a bit confused as to how it's racist? That aside, I'd have laughed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"There was no need for it to fall flat. The black guy made the comment and it was a joke, and not racist one anyway.

If it had come from a white guy who didn't know him it would be potentially awkward.

The silence was more offensive than just carrying on.

"

Yep.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's not a racist incident. Nobody was racist.

It does point to a bunch of people who struggle to hold a conversation with someone of a different heritage. Maybe some need to widen their circle of friends?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iker boy 69Man  over a year ago

midlands

Ive said it to a black guy i know who id not seen for a while. Just said long time no see, you been away topping your tan up.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm Scottish, so I'm one of these people who goes blue before they turn pink.

It's OK to mock your own skin colour - it's not OK to mock someone else's.

"

This

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire

OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *K430Man  over a year ago

Tipperary

It's not racist in the slightest , he's having a laugh at his expense , have heard better attempts but racist , no

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm Scottish, so I'm one of these people who goes blue before they turn pink.

It's OK to mock your own skin colour - it's not OK to mock someone else's.

"

Also Scottish so feel the pain..

I enjoy my year long moon tan.

Most racism isn't to do with what is said but how I is said and how it is intended.... IE, rap culture using the N wirdas z term of endearment towards another....

When used as a slur it becomes racist...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, this is a political correctness situation lol.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's not a racist incident. Nobody was racist.

It does point to a bunch of people who struggle to hold a conversation with someone of a different heritage. Maybe some need to widen their circle of friends?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"I'm Scottish, so I'm one of these people who goes blue before they turn pink.

It's OK to mock your own skin colour - it's not OK to mock someone else's.

This "

The keybword is 'mock'. If you are mocking then it is racist.

Amongst friends who know each other then *genuine friendly* banter can go beyond that.

Mocking is used by people who are genuinly prejudiced.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge

Don't see the racism there myself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

Yes.

I would have responded, mate you're not tanned, you're burnt toast

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

Yes.

I would have responded, mate you're not tanned, you're burnt toast"

I wouldn't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there.."

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rwolfMan  over a year ago

bristol

Would of had a chuckle at it...why is it racist?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would've laughed with him. My asian mate gets a great tan. Lucky sod.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

Agree about the big woman. Tumble moment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *heIcebreakersCouple  over a year ago

Cramlington


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

Get a grip.

He was probably angling for someone to look at his groin, say 'Mmmm, you've got the cock to go with it' and start licking their lips....

He was doing what he's entitled to do - talking about himself. I call myself queer, it's a good thing. If you call me queer, you either do it approvingly or not at all....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

however you look at it, this is not a racist 'incident' at all! thats completely ridiculous!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

"Putting white guys on the spot" ??

Really???

All you're doing here is showing that you don't know how to interact with people of other races like someone else said lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

White racial groups would be comfortable with it. He's black, not a leper. He made a witty comment on the current conversation. He's rightly comfortable in his skin. Smile / chuckle, carry on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour" "

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eesideMan  over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

I wood Not see that as racist.

In fact I've had a similar situation but i wos at work.

I wos working at a posh bording school. And in the summer almost every lunch wos out side by barbeque. And i wos piking up a bit of a tan.

1 of the other chefs had just come back from holiday and he wos a black guy.

Harf way throw survive juring conversation he commented on my tan and then made a joke about his tan. That you cood not see While larfing. I just larfed with him and sed,, we'll its darker than mine,, lol ended up talking about his sunny holiday.

He's still a good work Frend.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't see the racism there myself. "

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rs T and HubbyCouple  over a year ago

somewhere north of the border..

Think we all guilty of over thinking things ..and are to PC by far..

If no malice or mocking is intended then it is better to go along with the banter and relax..after all that's what friends do.. T

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Agree about the big woman. Tumble moment. "

Just ask her to wait for a couple of guys to get out to avoid it overflowing.

Or, with your bollocks exposed, maybe not

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *omaMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

well I found gt amusing, racist or not is a matter of opinion and opinions are like clitoris's . .

every fanny has one.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion "

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield

OP, I think the best thing is to understand you've all misjudged the situation, and what is or isn't appropriate. Just learn from it for future.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't see this any different from someone with a disability taking the piss out of themselves.

In some ways it's easier to share such a joke if you actually know the guy and know his humour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have been more uncomfortable with the ensuing silence than with the remark the man made about his own skin colour. I see no racist undertones in his remark, he was just havin a joke. The silence afterwards is what made it awkward. I would have laughed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Yes.

I would have responded, mate you're not tanned, you're burnt toast

I wouldn't."

I have no filter and everything is game for mockery

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

Just don't see how you can say he was putting you on the spot..?

sounds like he just made a light hearted joke..

you or someone else replying something equally light hearted would have been fine..

you don't need a second black guy or a second big woman to engage in the level of banter your suggesting, they are just people..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple  over a year ago

South Wales


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

Probably just the way he told it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off"

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't get it..why would it be awkward. My friend J is as black as you like and she still tans a surprising amount.

It just sounds like the dude was trying to elicit a chortle or a bit of a giggle or whatever. Is skin color off limits to have a laugh about now?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

Yes.

I would have responded, mate you're not tanned, you're burnt toast

I wouldn't.

I have no filter and everything is game for mockery"

My filter has large holes in it, and I like close to the bone humour. As I am genuinely non-prejudiced, I would enjoy equal banter on lots of subjects.

BUT, you don't know each other, or anybody else there. That's pushing it in a new situation, with people you don't know.

Among friends who know and trust each other (normally a man thing) much worse goes.

People just need to get the balance right. As somebody above said, it's just social skills.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke "

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

"

Let's agree to disagree that you and your friends don't encounter or interact black people very often hence why you didn't know how to react in a basic situation

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/12/17 11:48:45]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

Let's agree to disagree that you and your friends don't encounter or interact black people very often hence why you didn't know how to react in a basic situation "

Your correct that I personally have no experience interacting with other ethnic groups.

The odd one in the street as

Not many where i work or live.

I don't have much with women either as the 0lace i work is all male.

If you read my posts you will discover that the other white guys, and the black guy were all strangers to me.

Judging how they all initially interacted with each other they were all strangers to each other.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

Let's agree to disagree that you and your friends don't encounter or interact black people very often hence why you didn't know how to react in a basic situation

Your correct that I personally have no experience interacting with other ethnic groups.

The odd one in the street as

Not many where i work or live.

I don't have much with women either as the 0lace i work is all male.

If you read my posts you will discover that the other white guys, and the black guy were all strangers to me.

Judging how they all initially interacted with each other they were all strangers to each other.

"

Whether they're strangers or not the way you all reacted is like a red beacon showing you dont interact with black people.

I've had plenty of conversations with white people who are complete strangers to me about skin tone/tanning etc and it's clear to see those who have black friends/family and those who dont.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"Don't see the racism there myself.

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

"

Maybe you should get your own moral compass and then you wouldn't have to look at someone elses. He told a joke, I think a funny one, so laugh at it, or if you don't think its funny, at least say "that was a terrible joke" and move on.

It's not racist.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have told him he's overdone it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Right at the end of the long silence though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

Let's agree to disagree that you and your friends don't encounter or interact black people very often hence why you didn't know how to react in a basic situation

Your correct that I personally have no experience interacting with other ethnic groups.

The odd one in the street as

Not many where i work or live.

I don't have much with women either as the 0lace i work is all male.

If you read my posts you will discover that the other white guys, and the black guy were all strangers to me.

Judging how they all initially interacted with each other they were all strangers to each other.

Whether they're strangers or not the way you all reacted is like a red beacon showing you dont interact with black people.

I've had plenty of conversations with white people who are complete strangers to me about skin tone/tanning etc and it's clear to see those who have black friends/family and those who dont."

Actually i agree, just tbe way things are i suppose

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ungBlackTopMan  over a year ago

salford


"Think I would have laughed With him. "

I would've done the same.i use sunbeds during winter months as it helps black skin and we get a good dose of Vitamin D. When I walk in they all look around or the floor as they must be thinking "what is he doing in here". I walked out once and a huge muscle guy looks at his mate, then the receptionist and goes "I want what he's had". all 3 of us burst into laughter, expect the receptionist she began apologising for his actions. I was like chill out love it was hilarious. Sometimes it's not what people say it's their intent in what they say.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't see the racism there myself.

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

Maybe you should get your own moral compass and then you wouldn't have to look at someone elses. He told a joke, I think a funny one, so laugh at it, or if you don't think its funny, at least say "that was a terrible joke" and move on.

It's not racist. "

Actually... Jokes like that (personslly for me anyway) , harmless as he intended can remind me of the racist events from the past.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

Jesus wept: it was a joke!

I go on holiday with white friends and we compare "tans". We also joke about my weight and they're thin.

I think it's sad that we're so frightened to offend we offend. Ignoring him and changing the subject was worse on so many levels.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"

The silence was more offensive than just carrying on.

"

Exactly!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"It's not a racist incident. Nobody was racist.

It does point to a bunch of people who struggle to hold a conversation with someone of a different heritage. Maybe some need to widen their circle of friends?"

...and get a grip!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"Don't see the racism there myself.

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

Maybe you should get your own moral compass and then you wouldn't have to look at someone elses. He told a joke, I think a funny one, so laugh at it, or if you don't think its funny, at least say "that was a terrible joke" and move on.

It's not racist.

Actually... Jokes like that (personslly for me anyway) , harmless as he intended can remind me of the racist events from the past. "

That means its a trigger for you, not racism from him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour" "

Although I'm usually the one making the comment on their colour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

Yes.

I would have responded, mate you're not tanned, you're burnt toast"

I wouldn't!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *igSuki81Man  over a year ago

Retirement Village

OP wouldn't say it was racist but do see your point.

Anything said about race or colour in an environment of strangers can be difficult to react to as you dont know how others would react to your comment or response to a joke.

I have work colleagues who i know personally and one of them uses me as a benchmark to compare her tan to after shes come back from holiday. Now that may be offensive to some but as we know each other we dont feel we offend each other and just compare skin colours and i always lose

Personally i'd have said still needs work and laughed it off but even then i'd probably have offended someone in the crowd.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't see the racism there myself.

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

Maybe you should get your own moral compass and then you wouldn't have to look at someone elses. He told a joke, I think a funny one, so laugh at it, or if you don't think its funny, at least say "that was a terrible joke" and move on.

It's not racist.

Actually... Jokes like that (personslly for me anyway) , harmless as he intended can remind me of the racist events from the past.

That means its a trigger for you, not racism from him. "

Could have been a trigger for racism from the others, them being strangers they could be anybody.

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

"

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

That means its a trigger for you, not racism from him.

Could have been a trigger for racism from the others, them being strangers they could be anybody.

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

"

There's no mulling needed. Racism is the negative discrimination towards someone based on race. He made a jokey comment about himself, about his skin colour. Your skin being brown isn't something to be ashamed of and deny.

Lots of people on the thread are not white and have told you it's fine, what he said.

Listen to what they say, learn and it will be better next time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have laughed my head off and meant it as well, people that can laugh at themselves are the best sort of people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

That's not a racist incident. It's a joke that wasnt funny.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's just a joke? xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iversong321Woman  over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

I have a sense of humour so I would have laughed with him. Not at him - with him. A big difference. Failing to see how that could be racsist. The awkward silence speaks volumnes and probably made him feel very uncomfortable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Hahaha, sounds like she guy was on a right wind up with a group of nervous looking chaps in a sauna.

He probably had a right giggle to himself after.

Or he was chatting y you up and wanted to Shag you!

Just chalk it up to one of the moment's where thing's could have been different.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have told him....if I could offer him only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have just asked if he had tan lines

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke

Was it clearly a joke? Actually black people do tan so the context is important.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wanders in ..

Reads thread...

Wonders about a sense of humour bypass...

Wanders out... shaking head..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"Was it clearly a joke? Actually black people do tan so the context is important. "

None of then knew each other, so they couldn't know if the black guy was tanned compared to before.

It was just a flippant joke, over-analysed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?"

LMAO

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ieman300Man  over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

I would have laughed. Totally understandable that others wouldnt. Says a lot about how political correctness has messed with our minds on the whole.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 03/12/17 13:22:17]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

Have I missed something ?

The black guy joking about his skin colour is a racist incident ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I generally tend to be quite enquisitive, and would be happy to have a conversation about whether the chappie did work on his tan, and how he knows if he's getting sunburn?

I don't really find tha people are offended by honest conversation unless malice is actually intended.

Cal

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I generally tend to be quite enquisitive, and would be happy to have a conversation about whether the chappie did work on his tan, and how he knows if he's getting sunburn?

I don't really find tha people are offended by honest conversation unless malice is actually intended.

Cal"

Nothing wrong with this.

I love when people ask about things they don't know/understand

Been known to show my tan lines to little old white ladies in asda

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have laughed and probably said "good un mate" and would of asked him where he went on holiday.

The only overt racist thing in the room was all of you remaining silent and changing the subject................if something is funny, which his remark was..............then it's funny and i would just react to that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull


"I would have laughed and probably said "good un mate" and would of asked him where he went on holiday.

The only overt racist thing in the room was all of you remaining silent and changing the subject................if something is funny, which his remark was..............then it's funny and i would just react to that."

100% ^

It was funny and I'd have joked back the same.

His soh was obviously wasted on you guys which is pretty shocking that not one of you could see that it was an ice breaker comment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ungmagic10Man  over a year ago

Northampton

It was a joke, you just to laugh or off lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rank n BettyCouple  over a year ago

Not meeting

Part of having a good sense of humour is being able to take the piss out of yourself.

Frank

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Don't see the racism there myself.

Im thinking racist of us white guys for having the same reaction without communication.

All looking at each other for guidance on how to respond.

Maybe you should get your own moral compass and then you wouldn't have to look at someone elses. He told a joke, I think a funny one, so laugh at it, or if you don't think its funny, at least say "that was a terrible joke" and move on.

It's not racist.

Actually... Jokes like that (personslly for me anyway) , harmless as he intended can remind me of the racist events from the past.

That means its a trigger for you, not racism from him.

Could have been a trigger for racism from the others, them being strangers they could be anybody.

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

"

your not being serious surely?

the definition is pretty clear and what you have described is nowhere near the same..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It seems to me racist remarks tend only to be racist if made by a white person I never see anything otherwise on the media, black people call each other by the'N' word and no one bats an eye, gods forbid I was to say such a word just as its ok to have any number of ethnic clubs or associations again forbidden if it was to have the word white anyway near the start of the name . So who is the racist in this country?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"It seems to me racist remarks tend only to be racist if made by a white person I never see anything otherwise on the media, black people call each other by the'N' word and no one bats an eye, gods forbid I was to say such a word just as its ok to have any number of ethnic clubs or associations again forbidden if it was to have the word white anyway near the start of the name . So who is the racist in this country? "

people who come out with the same tired old baseless cliches similar to yourself tend to have issues in my experience..

how exactly would a white Bangladeshi community group work given the people of that country tend not to be..

racism is not only the premise of the 'white person', the courts will testify to that but feel free to rant away..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems to me racist remarks tend only to be racist if made by a white person I never see anything otherwise on the media, black people call each other by the'N' word and no one bats an eye, gods forbid I was to say such a word just as its ok to have any number of ethnic clubs or associations again forbidden if it was to have the word white anyway near the start of the name . So who is the racist in this country?

people who come out with the same tired old baseless cliches similar to yourself tend to have issues in my experience..

how exactly would a white Bangladeshi community group work given the people of that country tend not to be..

racism is not only the premise of the 'white person', the courts will testify to that but feel free to rant away.."

Having been to various war zones and two wars in my lifetime I can only say that racism is alive and well in most countries and your rose tinted glasses don't do anything to dissuade me of the mess this country is in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would have laughed. Totally understandable that others wouldnt. Says a lot about how political correctness has messed with our minds on the whole."

I agree. I think people don't know whether it would be ok to laugh or not. They don't know if he was saying it as a joke or if he was trying to stir. Maybe easier to tell in person via facial expression and body language though but still risky.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"It seems to me racist remarks tend only to be racist if made by a white person I never see anything otherwise on the media, black people call each other by the'N' word and no one bats an eye, gods forbid I was to say such a word just as its ok to have any number of ethnic clubs or associations again forbidden if it was to have the word white anyway near the start of the name . So who is the racist in this country?

people who come out with the same tired old baseless cliches similar to yourself tend to have issues in my experience..

how exactly would a white Bangladeshi community group work given the people of that country tend not to be..

racism is not only the premise of the 'white person', the courts will testify to that but feel free to rant away..

Having been to various war zones and two wars in my lifetime I can only say that racism is alive and well in most countries and your rose tinted glasses don't do anything to dissuade me of the mess this country is in."

well if only you had said you were wanting to play the pull up a sand bag and i will swing the light and tell a few stories to support my 'point'..

am ex military then blue light services in the capital for a total of 36 plus years combined so not been living in rose tinted glasses land..

the country is not in a mess because you or others may want to call black people the N word, we would be in complete chaos were that to be the case..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Another case of generation snowflake!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems to me racist remarks tend only to be racist if made by a white person I never see anything otherwise on the media, black people call each other by the'N' word and no one bats an eye, gods forbid I was to say such a word just as its ok to have any number of ethnic clubs or associations again forbidden if it was to have the word white anyway near the start of the name . So who is the racist in this country?

people who come out with the same tired old baseless cliches similar to yourself tend to have issues in my experience..

how exactly would a white Bangladeshi community group work given the people of that country tend not to be..

racism is not only the premise of the 'white person', the courts will testify to that but feel free to rant away..

Having been to various war zones and two wars in my lifetime I can only say that racism is alive and well in most countries and your rose tinted glasses don't do anything to dissuade me of the mess this country is in.

well if only you had said you were wanting to play the pull up a sand bag and i will swing the light and tell a few stories to support my 'point'..

am ex military then blue light services in the capital for a total of 36 plus years combined so not been living in rose tinted glasses land..

the country is not in a mess because you or others may want to call black people the N word, we would be in complete chaos were that to be the case..

"

I did not say I wanted to call anyone the N word, I said it was ok for blacks to call each other that and no one seems to mind, that was an example of the positive biases in this country the same as black police officers association, or even the black prison officers association, if I was to create a whites only club I would be the racist,

I only have to look at what diane Abbott has said and got away with! To show this is a one way range!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

15 - 20 seconds is quite a long time for silence when the banter has been flowing - and no need for silence at all - i work with more black people than white and we do the tan jokes in the summer - both ways and no bugger has ever been offended or gone silent

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

So its racist because it made white guys feel uncomfortable??? Now THAT sounds racist

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ginger is rife ...Let's open a can of worms .?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

hmmm,did he have a big cock?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/17 00:32:45]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/17 00:31:42]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sick of this racist shite!!!

Say what you think say what you see the country has gone mad!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What bollocks

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Gingerizm

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Let's have a row!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

grow a pair ! we all know the score , don't make an issue out of something that isn't there, peace and love brothers x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Provacation!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I did not say I wanted to call anyone the N word, I said it was ok for blacks to call each other that and no one seems to mind, that was an example of the positive biases in this country the same as black police officers association, or even the black prison officers association, if I was to create a whites only club I would be the racist,

I only have to look at what diane Abbott has said and got away with! To show this is a one way range! "

I've never understood why white get upset about the fact that they are 'allowed' to use the N word

The reason there are so many black 'socities' and BAME is because black and Asian people we are a minority and there are certain situations where we need support from someone who understands what it's like to be a black or Asian person in the workplace/college/uni etc

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being mixed race, personally I feel I can sit on either side of the fence with many racial issues.

The majority of society, however, will view me as being non-white, which I have no problem with.

I don't see how this was a racist incident. The others with you probably should have just laughed it off in normal circumstances, but sitting in a jacuzzi with strangers isn't exactly an everyday occurence

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I did not say I wanted to call anyone the N word, I said it was ok for blacks to call each other that and no one seems to mind, that was an example of the positive biases in this country the same as black police officers association, or even the black prison officers association, if I was to create a whites only club I would be the racist,

I only have to look at what diane Abbott has said and got away with! To show this is a one way range!

I've never understood why white get upset about the fact that they are 'allowed' to use the N word

The reason there are so many black 'socities' and BAME is because black and Asian people we are a minority and there are certain situations where we need support from someone who understands what it's like to be a black or Asian person in the workplace/college/uni etc "

Save your breath!

I worked for an organisation that had separate forums for young, women, disabled, retired, lgbt and black and minority groups.

Guess which one people had a problem with?!!

Every one else is allowed a group to discuss their specific needs but heaven forbid you have a black group!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It depends on his delivery of the humour that makes it funny or not. And not wether it's a joke. (Just my opinion)

How many times have you watched a comedian and realise you e not heard a joke but been laughing your ass off for 60 mins. Because they're funny, regardless of skin colour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i've used that joke in one way or another...

in a club two people were comparing their tans and asked how long they had been topping it up...

i then showed my arm... said "35 years, beat that!" and smiled!!!

see... self deprecating humour...

p.s I also do a cracking "roots" joke as well but some "youngen's are too young to remember it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t think that’s racist, I think if someone was being rude or aggressive about someone’s race that’s more racist. I think a casual joke at your own expense isn’t harming anyone, I think that letting it fall flat for worries of being considered a racist is stupid! We are all human beings at the end of the day?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull


"i've used that joke in one way or another...

in a club two people were comparing their tans and asked how long they had been topping it up...

i then showed my arm... said "35 years, beat that!" and smiled!!!

see... self deprecating humour...

p.s I also do a cracking "roots" joke as well but some "youngen's are too young to remember it! "

Does it involve kunta ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don’t think that’s racist, I think if someone was being rude or aggressive about someone’s race that’s more racist. I think a casual joke at your own expense isn’t harming anyone, I think that letting it fall flat for worries of being considered a racist is stupid! We are all human beings at the end of the day? "

That's my saying too! We're all human beings...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don’t think that’s racist, I think if someone was being rude or aggressive about someone’s race that’s more racist. I think a casual joke at your own expense isn’t harming anyone, I think that letting it fall flat for worries of being considered a racist is stupid! We are all human beings at the end of the day?

That's my saying too! We're all human beings... "

Well we areee! All bleed the same blood, I hate racism or any sort of ‘ism’ hahaha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?"

Actually it was the black guy who brought it up, therefore instigating the subject. Just thought I'd mention that sering as your filling on the blanks with biased assumptions but do carry on.

The conversation was originally about shipping and docking methods and a boarding gangway that collapsed. But do carry on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have laughed. Maybe it’s racist that you didn’t.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have laughed, not cos I'm racist, but cos its funny.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *evaquitCouple  over a year ago

Catthorpe


"i've used that joke in one way or another...

in a club two people were comparing their tans and asked how long they had been topping it up...

i then showed my arm... said "35 years, beat that!" and smiled!!!

see... self deprecating humour...

p.s I also do a cracking "roots" joke as well but some "youngen's are too young to remember it! "

I (he) did that that the other day. Some chains were changing about and I asked if they could be quelled as they were scaring the heebejebees outta me. Joke went down well, multicural lot at our place. Knowing your audience n all that.

Didn’t find that racist op just a funny p take at his expense but do however see how some might not now how to take it or how to respond. I've experienced that also and appreciate that in your scenario they decided to take the neutral ground as opposed to the ‘I know you’re joking but not gonna risk it’ ground, which is a great pity. The ambiguity surrounding this is a shame tbh and worring at the same time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?

Actually it was the black guy who brought it up, therefore instigating the subject. Just thought I'd mention that sering as your filling on the blanks with biased assumptions but do carry on.

The conversation was originally about shipping and docking methods and a boarding gangway that collapsed. But do carry on "

Docking methods.... some might think that's homophobic!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?

Actually it was the black guy who brought it up, therefore instigating the subject. Just thought I'd mention that sering as your filling on the blanks with biased assumptions but do carry on.

The conversation was originally about shipping and docking methods and a boarding gangway that collapsed. But do carry on

Docking methods.... some might think that's homophobic! "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

I understand that he was remarking on himself, but have to disagree on him not being racist to an exent. Thats a grey area where borders are blurred i reckon.

Will have to mull this over.

So you think a black man is racist because he mentions his own skin? Therefore why didn't you think the white man was racist for mentioning a sun tan ?

Actually it was the black guy who brought it up, therefore instigating the subject. Just thought I'd mention that sering as your filling on the blanks with biased assumptions but do carry on.

The conversation was originally about shipping and docking methods and a boarding gangway that collapsed. But do carry on

Docking methods.... some might think that's homophobic!

"

Plenty sailors about

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"i've used that joke in one way or another...

in a club two people were comparing their tans and asked how long they had been topping it up...

i then showed my arm... said "35 years, beat that!" and smiled!!!

see... self deprecating humour...

p.s I also do a cracking "roots" joke as well but some "youngen's are too young to remember it!

I (he) did that that the other day. Some chains were changing about and I asked if they could be quelled as they were scaring the heebejebees outta me. Joke went down well, multicural lot at our place. Knowing your audience n all that.

Didn’t find that racist op just a funny p take at his expense but do however see how some might not now how to take it or how to respond. I've experienced that also and appreciate that in your scenario they decided to take the neutral ground as opposed to the ‘I know you’re joking but not gonna risk it’ ground, which is a great pity. The ambiguity surrounding this is a shame tbh and worring at the same time. "

Well i agree, if we were colleagues who knew each other it would be different.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"i've used that joke in one way or another...

in a club two people were comparing their tans and asked how long they had been topping it up...

i then showed my arm... said "35 years, beat that!" and smiled!!!

see... self deprecating humour...

p.s I also do a cracking "roots" joke as well but some "youngen's are too young to remember it!

I (he) did that that the other day. Some chains were changing about and I asked if they could be quelled as they were scaring the heebejebees outta me. Joke went down well, multicural lot at our place. Knowing your audience n all that.

Didn’t find that racist op just a funny p take at his expense but do however see how some might not now how to take it or how to respond. I've experienced that also and appreciate that in your scenario they decided to take the neutral ground as opposed to the ‘I know you’re joking but not gonna risk it’ ground, which is a great pity. The ambiguity surrounding this is a shame tbh and worring at the same time. "

Being an older guy i recall the days before political correctness .

I joined the atmy in 1980 and had 1 black guy on the recruit course.

To save time, instead of using boot polish he put some other shit on his boots. I said to him he'd be ok provided it didn't rain as his boots would turn blue, which they did.

He did mention he was the only black guy but had blue boots on too.. Which was funny and everyone laughed.

This was all before political correctness being hammered out and angry debates in the media.. So after grtting it drummed into us sbout whst we can't say, do, suggest tjen this is possibly the result.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *anejohnkent6263Couple  over a year ago

canterbury

world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/17 21:48:45]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate"

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Erm there is no way to debate anything in the net without offending someone.

See last weeks family guy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"The silence was more offensive than just carrying on.

"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

I think some people go looking for racism where there is none.

Jokes amongst friends are just that, who cares what other people think?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Erm there is no way to debate anything in the net without offending someone.

See last weeks family guy "

Lol yea, ive also seen the brexit row, oops err "discussions" on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think some people go looking for racism where there is none.

Jokes amongst friends are just that, who cares what other people think?"

Well, it can be reported by a 3rd party listening in to management and investigated, just sayin.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

"

F...politics correct...

one day you will not be able to say anything and react because it will be politically incorrect to breathe

;)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sitting in a sauna with a group, there was a black guy.

Conversation and banter was great.

The black guy asked one of the white men if he'd been on holiday and remarked on his tan.

Black guy said jokingly "what do you think of mine? Ha ha"

This resulted in silence with everyone looking at each other, not knowing how to react, including me as his joke? Fell flat.

After about 15 to 20 seconds, a new conversational topic was brought up by myself.

So, not sure if anyone else on here has been in this scenario? Is it political correctness overload?

F...politics correct...

one day you will not be able to say anything and react because it will be politically incorrect to breathe

;)"

have to be careful in public now, George Orwell springs to mind lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imandher84Couple  over a year ago

Leeds


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imandher84Couple  over a year ago

Leeds


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying."

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol. "

More out of not wanting to engage in a subject that ive been told for years is a tab. oo subject by politically correct police. Did u read the bit above before pol correctness when i joined the army in 1980?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"I think some people go looking for racism where there is none.

Jokes amongst friends are just that, who cares what other people think?

Well, it can be reported by a 3rd party listening in to management and investigated, just sayin. "

Ah yes, the walls have ears and one's comrades will dob you in

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

"

You seem intent on finding it racist, or ok for him but nobody else. Nobody on this thread has been pc, everybody has said chill out, it wasn't meant to cause offence.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

You seem intent on finding it racist, or ok for him but nobody else. Nobody on this thread has been pc, everybody has said chill out, it wasn't meant to cause offence."

tend to agree..

the thread has the slant of an intended band wagon but hardly anyone has jumped on it..

which is good..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imandher84Couple  over a year ago

Leeds


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol.

More out of not wanting to engage in a subject that ive been told for years is a tab. oo subject by politically correct police. Did u read the bit above before pol correctness when i joined the army in 1980? "

I did yes but in essence that is where my point derives from,

We as a spieces are programmed to notice difference in others.

To break away from the race issue consider the class system in this country. It's exploited every day on the news and in the media to keep us seperated and to keep us looking around us for the issue rather than up to our corporations and goverment for the problem and we lap it up flying our working class flags or being slightly shy of our middle class upbringing yet when we do meet, swinging being a fine example we suddenly realise we are all the same more or less. We like a laugh and a joke and can take a bit of a dig at our expense.

Sadly race is still the great divide and some people can't see the person beyond that.

Personally rather than worry about the differences you were scared to mention i'd look at the similarities you failed to notice which was a Man just trying to fit in with some other people and make some mates for the evening. Maybe that's all it was/is/should ever be?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

You seem intent on finding it racist, or ok for him but nobody else. Nobody on this thread has been pc, everybody has said chill out, it wasn't meant to cause offence."

Not at all.

I asked other peoples thoughts.

Some did, some misread what i said so discussed it with em.

Dome replies did reflect replies based on assumptions,.

Reading text on a screen isnt the best conduit so some misunderstandings can happen. Chill yourselves

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol.

More out of not wanting to engage in a subject that ive been told for years is a tab. oo subject by politically correct police. Did u read the bit above before pol correctness when i joined the army in 1980?

I did yes but in essence that is where my point derives from,

We as a spieces are programmed to notice difference in others.

To break away from the race issue consider the class system in this country. It's exploited every day on the news and in the media to keep us seperated and to keep us looking around us for the issue rather than up to our corporations and goverment for the problem and we lap it up flying our working class flags or being slightly shy of our middle class upbringing yet when we do meet, swinging being a fine example we suddenly realise we are all the same more or less. We like a laugh and a joke and can take a bit of a dig at our expense.

Sadly race is still the great divide and some people can't see the person beyond that.

Personally rather than worry about the differences you were scared to mention i'd look at the similarities you failed to notice which was a Man just trying to fit in with some other people and make some mates for the evening. Maybe that's all it was/is/should ever be?

"

That i agree on, the issue i have is that although political correctness was intended to improve race relations, it has had a negative effect, demonstrated by events i described.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol.

More out of not wanting to engage in a subject that ive been told for years is a tab. oo subject by politically correct police. Did u read the bit above before pol correctness when i joined the army in 1980?

I did yes but in essence that is where my point derives from,

We as a spieces are programmed to notice difference in others.

To break away from the race issue consider the class system in this country. It's exploited every day on the news and in the media to keep us seperated and to keep us looking around us for the issue rather than up to our corporations and goverment for the problem and we lap it up flying our working class flags or being slightly shy of our middle class upbringing yet when we do meet, swinging being a fine example we suddenly realise we are all the same more or less. We like a laugh and a joke and can take a bit of a dig at our expense.

Sadly race is still the great divide and some people can't see the person beyond that.

Personally rather than worry about the differences you were scared to mention i'd look at the similarities you failed to notice which was a Man just trying to fit in with some other people and make some mates for the evening. Maybe that's all it was/is/should ever be?

"

Yea well he made a dogs bollocks of it then

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

You seem intent on finding it racist, or ok for him but nobody else. Nobody on this thread has been pc, everybody has said chill out, it wasn't meant to cause offence.

Not at all.

I asked other peoples thoughts.

Some did, some misread what i said so discussed it with em.

Dome replies did reflect replies based on assumptions,.

Reading text on a screen isnt the best conduit so some misunderstandings can happen. Chill yourselves

"

Ok, I've just scrolled through your comments to the replies, and your thoughts seem to be the same as the beginning, or latching on to the 'pc brigade' type replies.

Maybe they've just come across like that?

Do you think what he said was wrong, or could the guys have reacted more accepting of him?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imandher84Couple  over a year ago

Leeds


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

Guy was a human being.

Above racial groups,

Above sex,

Above gender,

Above all a human being...just saying.

Why did i put sex and gender? I think i saw the word sex and lost my train of thought.

Basically my point is this, if you start to treat someone as more or less than an equal of yourself you are essentialy being prejudiced.

By that i mean the first thing your subconscious noticed was the colour of the other guys skin which stopped you from fully engaging with him for fear of being prejudiced..that's a hell of a subconscious you have lol.

More out of not wanting to engage in a subject that ive been told for years is a tab. oo subject by politically correct police. Did u read the bit above before pol correctness when i joined the army in 1980?

I did yes but in essence that is where my point derives from,

We as a spieces are programmed to notice difference in others.

To break away from the race issue consider the class system in this country. It's exploited every day on the news and in the media to keep us seperated and to keep us looking around us for the issue rather than up to our corporations and goverment for the problem and we lap it up flying our working class flags or being slightly shy of our middle class upbringing yet when we do meet, swinging being a fine example we suddenly realise we are all the same more or less. We like a laugh and a joke and can take a bit of a dig at our expense.

Sadly race is still the great divide and some people can't see the person beyond that.

Personally rather than worry about the differences you were scared to mention i'd look at the similarities you failed to notice which was a Man just trying to fit in with some other people and make some mates for the evening. Maybe that's all it was/is/should ever be?

Yea well he made a dogs bollocks of it then "

I see. Out of what i wrote you came to that conclusion. OP i think your thoughts are concrete and barring a jack hammer i'm not going to break through...can't win them all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"world/uk gone mad of late .....we call my mate black nick ...he loves it and calls himself a nigger or ya black boy ....where is the harm he is not offended at all ....we all have a laugh he also calls one of our team milk bottle ...is that race hate

Depends on who hears it, including someone in ear shot including some on here, whose comments say more about themselves than me

You seem intent on finding it racist, or ok for him but nobody else. Nobody on this thread has been pc, everybody has said chill out, it wasn't meant to cause offence.

Not at all.

I asked other peoples thoughts.

Some did, some misread what i said so discussed it with em.

Dome replies did reflect replies based on assumptions,.

Reading text on a screen isnt the best conduit so some misunderstandings can happen. Chill yourselves

Ok, I've just scrolled through your comments to the replies, and your thoughts seem to be the same as the beginning, or latching on to the 'pc brigade' type replies.

Maybe they've just come across like that?

Do you think what he said was wrong, or could the guys have reacted more accepting of him?"

If the black guy that interrupted the conversation by commenting on the white guyz tan, then telling his joke, knew each other then fine, but he didnt.

As for the others, Being there with 5 strangers i didn't know how theyd react.

I don't know what they were thinking.. Poszibly not on a racial slant at all but thinking whTz he tLking about.

I myzrlf think8ng Bout all the racial shit thats happend in the past and he's making light of it,

For myself "latching onto pc" if you mean I'm uzing it az an excuse my earlier posts to duck n dive then no.

Off to bed zo ill pick up repliez later.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/17 23:37:17]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unandbuckCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

Ok, I've just scrolled through your comments to the replies, and your thoughts seem to be the same as the beginning, or latching on to the 'pc brigade' type replies.

Maybe they've just come across like that?

Do you think what he said was wrong, or could the guys have reacted more accepting of him?

If the black guy that interrupted the conversation by commenting on the white guyz tan, then telling his joke, knew each other then fine, but he didnt.

As for the others, Being there with 5 strangers i didn't know how theyd react.

I don't know what they were thinking.. Poszibly not on a racial slant at all but thinking whTz he tLking about.

I myzrlf think8ng Bout all the racial shit thats happend in the past and he's making light of it,

For myself "latching onto pc" if you mean I'm uzing it az an excuse my earlier posts to duck n dive then no.

Off to bed zo ill pick up repliez later.

"

Well, your original post said, younwere sat there havingbgreat banter, one guy commented on his tan, and the black guy said what about his.

Now, the black guy interupted the conversation by commenting on the white guys tan?

Sorry, but you really do come across as wanting to push a 'pc gone mad' scenario. Despite everyone saying it's all ok, you've kept prodding and your latest posts seem more revealing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I may be a bit thick, ignorant or nieve, but know snough tht therez goo and bad in everyone N

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Race gender sex orientation id entificTion, ahether you like bruszel sprouts or not iz incidental.

Dropping now and off to bed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

Ok, I've just scrolled through your comments to the replies, and your thoughts seem to be the same as the beginning, or latching on to the 'pc brigade' type replies.

Maybe they've just come across like that?

Do you think what he said was wrong, or could the guys have reacted more accepting of him?

If the black guy that interrupted the conversation by commenting on the white guyz tan, then telling his joke, knew each other then fine, but he didnt.

As for the others, Being there with 5 strangers i didn't know how theyd react.

I don't know what they were thinking.. Poszibly not on a racial slant at all but thinking whTz he tLking about.

I myzrlf think8ng Bout all the racial shit thats happend in the past and he's making light of it,

For myself "latching onto pc" if you mean I'm uzing it az an excuse my earlier posts to duck n dive then no.

Off to bed zo ill pick up repliez later.

Well, your original post said, younwere sat there havingbgreat banter, one guy commented on his tan, and the black guy said what about his.

Now, the black guy interupted the conversation by commenting on the white guys tan?

Sorry, but you really do come across as wanting to push a 'pc gone mad' scenario. Despite everyone saying it's all ok, you've kept prodding and your latest posts seem more revealing."

ok..

Your opinion and entitled to say that. 9ff to bed. Night.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I think every one was overly worried about being offensive.

Imo ignoring him and talking about something completely different was worse than what he said.

Not sure why it's an issue when every body knows that it's possible for black people to tan.

Ignoring him and moving the conversation along is just as bad as those annoying peoole who go to Tenerife for a week then come back and comment how You and them are practically the "same colour"

Exactly this. Dépendant upon his colour we do actually tan!!

Ignoring him and all chatting and changing the subject however screams exclusion

If he roared with laughter then humans being social crestures would find it infectious and join in.. Bit like when people yawn, you can set others off

How dare he not laugh at his own joke

Yes, i agree.. how dare he!

Ill just shut my big honkey snowflake white trash mouth

Let's agree to disagree that you and your friends don't encounter or interact black people very often hence why you didn't know how to react in a basic situation

Your correct that I personally have no experience interacting with other ethnic groups.

The odd one in the street as

Not many where i work or live.

I don't have much with women either as the 0lace i work is all male.

If you read my posts you will discover that the other white guys, and the black guy were all strangers to me.

Judging how they all initially interacted with each other they were all strangers to each other.

"

So if you were in the same situation now OP, how would you handle it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Yea well he made a dogs bollocks of it then "

Op, having read the full thread in my opinion you demonstrate a stubborn intransigence that makes it clear to me that you find it difficult to see (never mind accept) another perspective. Id go so far as to suggest that you may struggle to empathise with some people as a result of this.

That may be why you refuse to accept it was a fully acceptable joke with no PC or racial connotations. Clearly it was just an attempt to break the ice.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Not a racist incident

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeh, your too sensitive, too politically correct.

If you heard some of the stuff my black colleagues say, and if I put some of it here I’d get a ban.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you were all a little uncomfortable in his company.

He went to break the ice.

Y’all went mute.

You changed the subject.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I think some people go looking for racism where there is none.

Jokes amongst friends are just that, who cares what other people think?"

My former boss went to get coffee and asked me how I liked it. I responded black, like my men: that was our standing joke.

Someone new (a black woman) joined our department and when she overheard him ask me if I was still taking my coffee black like my men she told me to report him.

I told her it was a joke I had started and it was our joke. She had very little to do with me as she thought I was a coconut...oh well!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think you were all a little uncomfortable in his company.

He went to break the ice.

Y’all went mute.

You changed the subject.

"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yeh, your too sensitive, too politically correct.

If you heard some of the stuff my black colleagues say, and if I put some of it here I’d get a ban. "

Lol yep

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think some people go looking for racism where there is none.

Jokes amongst friends are just that, who cares what other people think?

My former boss went to get coffee and asked me how I liked it. I responded black, like my men: that was our standing joke.

Someone new (a black woman) joined our department and when she overheard him ask me if I was still taking my coffee black like my men she told me to report him.

I told her it was a joke I had started and it was our joke. She had very little to do with me as she thought I was a coconut...oh well!"

This is the problem i have with others earwigging on friends and getting banter mistaken for racism.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Political correctness seems to have "gone mad" whenever some tiny thing happens. An official gets a little carried away with power and "political correctness has gone mad!"

Funny thing is the wild-eyed ranting brigade who are always complaining that political correctness has gone mad are the same people who've never approved of it since they took the gollywogs off the jam jars.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

This is the problem i have with others earwigging on friends and getting banter mistaken for racism.

"

Sometimes so called 'banter' is racism.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rjimMan  over a year ago

nr bristol

I would have pointed to the palms of his hands and said..."you missed two bits".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've experienced racism, and this wasn't anything like it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, why do you think it was or could be racist..

and ditto on the comment about the others who were there..

We were all strangers who'd known each other for about 10 minutes.

Perhaps the black guy has/knows other racial groups who'd be more comfortable with it.

Racial incident, as in inadvertently putting the white guys on the spot.

If there were a second black guy there we could possibly read his reaction and respond differently

I think if it were a big woman saying something about her size could have had the same effect.

"Putting white guys on the spot" ??

Really???

All you're doing here is showing that you don't know how to interact with people of other races like someone else said lol "

Well said.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There was no need for it to fall flat. The black guy made the comment and it was a joke, and not racist one anyway.

If it had come from a white guy who didn't know him it would be potentially awkward.

The silence was more offensive than just carrying on.

"

Agreed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t think it was racist at all, I know a few people that would make this joke of their skin colour and if they make a joke out of it then they are opening it up for banter back in my opinion, it would have been racist if a white person had mentioned his ‘tan’ (unless the guy came back with a joke of course but I can see why that would have fell flat). Lots of people seem to scared to dip their toes nowadays, if the other person has made a joke they want it back!!

That’s me anyway.

Geeky x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *amschwingerzCouple  over a year ago

West

Not at all 'racist' the guy was sending himself up thats all...but its a sign of the times these days...everyone is so scared of offending the perennially offended 'snowflakes' those that are offended by everything..even on someone elses behalf.

I would have laughed out loud and probably have made a comment in jest back

The other blokes behavior probably made him feel really awkward.

The guy had set the mark...so why not roll with it...

I love people who send themselves up and dont take things too seriously, its often the sign of a genuine person

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's a new slant, the white guys being the ones called too sensitive.

The guy with a beard that caused Prince Philip to ask, "is that a terrorist?" excused the wrinkly old national embarrassment, saying, "He was just having a laugh." Was the guy from Iran? Pakistan? Well, his name was Alaster and he was a builder, so what do you think? Why would he be offended at racial stereotyping?

If Phil had said, "Is that one of them cowboy builders who always overcharge, do shoddy work and can never pull their pants all the way up?" Alaster wouldn't have found stereotyping so fucking funny, especially if he was then arrested on suspicion of terrorist charges because he has a beard and his name sounds like Ali.

But it's all jokes up the palace.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *uciyassMan  over a year ago

sheffield

I’m Irish so get the racist slang a lot but all good banter mainly. When it does turn personnel this bitch in heels will knock your block off and then say now how does that feel

It’s one of those things. My daughter is married to a Pakistani so my grandchildren will get it one day as they are still under 6 but already the youngest 3 has been called a ?aki in preschool which is unacceptable and which I spoke to school about. As the term obviously was heard in the other kids home. I always say education education is key

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not at all 'racist' the guy was sending himself up thats all...but its a sign of the times these days...everyone is so scared of offending the perennially offended 'snowflakes' those that are offended by everything..even on someone elses behalf.

I would have laughed out loud and probably have made a comment in jest back

The other blokes behavior probably made him feel really awkward.

The guy had set the mark...so why not roll with it...

I love people who send themselves up and dont take things too seriously, its often the sign of a genuine person"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had a black buddy who texted me one hot day, asking if I was outside topping up my tan. I was yes, care to join me. He laughed, I laughed. Ha ha..Ha ha ha.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see..... there are "jokes" that i can say about "myself" because its me targeting me....

those same jokes may not be the same targeted at someone else!!!!!

that is the difference..... if you are going to say stuff you better know your target audience very very very well..... because the same words said by my besties may not be taken the same way if said by some "random" regardless of the intent!!!

basically.... just don't say it!!!! think it by means and save for another time... but just don't open your mouths...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What about orange people that seems to be quite popular for prople jibery ...?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had a racist remark given to me for saying a polite no thank you. I was told all us Indians were cunts!!!

Charming xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had a racist remark given to me for saying a polite no thank you. I was told all us Indians were cunts!!!

Charming xxx "

Report the mail. Admin will sort it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

0.2656

0