FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women who give instructions in their profile
Women who give instructions in their profile
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the problem is blokes get on a site like this and assume that every woman is available and wanting to jump straight into bed, when really, it’s no different than how you would treat someone in real life face to face? So why be a dick online? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Second one.
Although I pretty much have nothing on my profile but I can tell already why women would put it..
So far Iv been offered adult work, money for sex to mention a couple and Iv not long joined. |
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By *lackXealMan
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
"Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!)"
I pass them as they are full of bs lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Second one.
Although I pretty much have nothing on my profile but I can tell already why women would put it..
So far Iv been offered adult work, money for sex to mention a couple and Iv not long joined. "
You're saying that you don't want money for sex?! Or adult work and that you're purely on here for your own enjoyment?  haha it is interesting the offers you get, some very bizarre ones at times but each to their own. |
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By *K430Man
over a year ago
Tipperary |
Have to bear in mind man that on any site like this there will be a fairly high percentage of nutters so if women are getting psycho messages can see why they would try and avoid getting the same again , but to completely contradict myself  , there is no doubt that a few of the profiles are seriously over the top , if trying to put every sane guy off , they definitely work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bad guys only make the good ones stand out.
It does get to a point where you feel you need to put certain rules on your profile but the decent men will be doing that stuff anyway...won't they?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Second one.
Although I pretty much have nothing on my profile but I can tell already why women would put it..
So far Iv been offered adult work, money for sex to mention a couple and Iv not long joined.
You're saying that you don't want money for sex?! Or adult work and that you're purely on here for your own enjoyment? haha it is interesting the offers you get, some very bizarre ones at times but each to their own. "
Shocking isn't it!? Haha
Some very bizarre, weirdest one was a bloke offering to come and live with me for however long I wanted  I replied asking if he was serious or if it was a joke I didn't get and he said he was serious.
No, nope, never do I want you to live with me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have to bear in mind man that on any site like this there will be a fairly high percentage of nutters so if women are getting psycho messages can see why they would try and avoid getting the same again , but to completely contradict myself , there is no doubt that a few of the profiles are seriously over the top , if trying to put every sane guy off , they definitely work "
Nutters and psychos are probably the last people who are going to read the profiles and follow the instructions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Shocking isn't it!? Haha
Some very bizarre, weirdest one was a bloke offering to come and live with me for however long I wanted I replied asking if he was serious or if it was a joke I didn't get and he said he was serious.
No, nope, never do I want you to live with me "
Yes, random man from the internet I would love for you to love in with me. I wonder if he'll ever get that reply 
Not sure what my oddest request has been. Someone offered me cheese for sex once.... I wasn't tempted honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bad guys only make the good ones stand out.
It does get to a point where you feel you need to put certain rules on your profile but the decent men will be doing that stuff anyway...won't they?"
I agree with this. I think those that should read your profile never will, so may as well write it for those that want too read it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say it's probably a 40/60 split of the two. They kinda go hand in hand though if you factor in supply & demand along with some of the shite messaging that goes on in here. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"The bad guys only make the good ones stand out.
It does get to a point where you feel you need to put certain rules on your profile but the decent men will be doing that stuff anyway...won't they?"
This
I find if I have a few messages along the same line I will sometimes adjust my profile accordingly to get a point across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the number ratio were reversed, and men received as many messages. The demands would be pretty similar. Must wear stocking and suspenders....must love to swallow.....must be willing to...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) If you don't like a profile then just ignore it. I'm not keen on the ones with lists of do's and don'ts either. If that's what they want to be like then I'm not interested, fuck em it's their loss 
2) No guys ruin it for anyone else, I wish there were more guys who didn't know know how to behave as it would reduce the competition. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!)"
Some of those women protest too much and get a little bit up themselves imho
I block all men and do my own searches. My profile is minimal as I'd rather chat face to face x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This site is open to opportunists, male or female, to victimise the vulnerable and gullible.
"
Wow. I am on the wrong site then. I just seek casual sex with another consenting adult  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Shocking isn't it!? Haha
Some very bizarre, weirdest one was a bloke offering to come and live with me for however long I wanted I replied asking if he was serious or if it was a joke I didn't get and he said he was serious.
No, nope, never do I want you to live with me
Yes, random man from the internet I would love for you to love in with me. I wonder if he'll ever get that reply
Not sure what my oddest request has been. Someone offered me cheese for sex once.... I wasn't tempted honest."
Cheese?! You win.
At least I was getting a live in housekeeper. Haha |
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"Yeh my profile is a bit demanding/ranty but it wasn’t always like that. When I first joined it was pretty much happy smiley it changed following lots of random inappropriate messages. No bs "
I don't think it is that demanding/ranty, it is done in a nice way and you have tried to keep it warm and friendly.
My profile is similar. It has evolved somewhat over the 18 months I've been on fab and I do try to keep it up to date. I am conscious of not making mine too ranty but I do want to make my preferences and limits clear |
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"This site is open to opportunists, male or female, to victimise the vulnerable and gullible.
Wow. I am on the wrong site then. I just seek casual sex with another consenting adult "
Aren't we all.
We just have to be careful.
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Experience leads many to style their profile so that it's more successful as a filtering tool. Prevention is better than a cure and all that.
If you see someone and think you know better than they do about what they want and how they should go about it, you'll typically be wrong, if they are wise and using their fab experience |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I think the problem is blokes get on a site like this and assume that every woman is available and wanting to jump straight into bed, when really, it’s no different than how you would treat someone in real life face to face? So why be a dick online?"
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"People dont read profiles and totally ignore your preferences ,so we do get frustrated.
This can lead to a clear list of dos and don'ts
If this sort of profile isnt for you,just pass it by.
Miss"
Agree with this  |
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Nowt wrong with saying what you want or what you like. If dominant confident women who know their minds intimidate, then perhaps swinging ain't for you.
But also many women have to lay down the law for the dickheads, of which there are many. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I have often considered changing my profile to bullet points to make it a bit easier for guys. But I don't want to come across as demanding or a ranty pants!
Tbh I don't think it would make much difference to the type of messages I get anyway |
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"all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. "
Correct |
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I don't know why they bother.
The idiots tend to ignore them anyway which does tend to make it easier to spot the genuine ones to be honest.
If only got 1 decimate no no and it's for very personal reasons but still they message me x |
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My profile is just that.
Its a mixture of tongue in cheek as well as putting it out there, to not waste their or my time.
Most of what I've written, are things that have been said to me on more than one occasion.
It stops the guys who want to shag in their mates car, to not message me, as it's not my thing.
It could of been longer, like for instance, when guys ask me what's my deepest darkest fantasy, I get asked that almost everyday, it's almost writing an essay, for some guys to disappear and use for wank material.
Some guys who are looking for the same thing as me, it's great and we tend to get more out of it, because they know what I'm looking for.
I've had some abuse, saying I take the fun out of being so detailed. I can't win, there's so many guys that want attention and get so upset because I'm not writing wank material as soon as they ask for it, even if they live a hundred miles away, and we'll never meet.
Or guys that won't show their picture and have nothing in their profile, but demand to see a picture of me and want to know the colour of my knickers.
I don't feel so guilty in blocking those guys anymore.
I suppose what I'm trying to say, my profile wouldn't look so obnoxious, if I hadn't had guys that ruined it for me.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bad guys only make the good ones stand out.
It does get to a point where you feel you need to put certain rules on your profile but the decent men will be doing that stuff anyway...won't they?"
The decent ones do...
And they still get ignored.
Not a complaint, just an observation. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
People can put anything they like to on their own profile but my personal observation is that it’s not always what is written but how it’s written. Sometimes people are sincere, sometimes humorous but the ones that I would avoid are the ones that have a demanding, ranty tone because that’s at odds with what I would be interested in reading.
If we’re saying that people don’t read profiles anyway, then what do we achieve from having a demanding, shouty profile text?
Our profile is the window to us. I look at it that it’s not about deterring people I don’t want to meet but it is about attracting the ones I do want to meet. |
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"Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!)"
How are they messing it up for the rest of you? The rules would be the rules whether written in their profile or not. Just follow them and you'll be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Getting the bitchy stuff out of the way first' 'sorry for the rant first' 'before I go on, here's some rules'
No, I'd like to see how nice you are are first, if you didn't rant on your profile, you wouldn't have to apologise, and don't give me rules and regulations before I know you, I now don't want to get to know you.
Men are told often we do t know how to write profiles or messages. Hats only because not many women ask or start threads asking. There's some awefuly unattractive profiles out there, regardless what the reason is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks. Don’t meant to sound rude but I actually have to chuckle a bit here because you just responded with a “do this”, which is exactly what I’m talking about in my post, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Men are told often we do t know how to write profiles or messages. Hats only because not many women ask or start threads asking. There's some awefuly unattractive profiles out there, regardless what the reason is. "
This is actually a fair point. I guess as women even those with little on their profile get several messages a day. So they don't feel a need to get any profile advice. I agree though. I've seen some very unattractive negative profiles.
*goes to check own profile text* |
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They complain men don't read their profiles then do stuff like that, I personally don't see the point because the only people that will read their profile are those who are interested and a ranty rule one would put me off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Probably because they just get over excited when they read your profile and see your pics. Like kids in a sweet shop they lose control. Not talking about myself (lol, promise!). Though you do look lovely x |
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"Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!)"
That maybe true but that doesn't excuse the Ikea flat pack style of instruction manual. We aren't all the same. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"People can put anything they like to on their own profile but my personal observation is that it’s not always what is written but how it’s written. Sometimes people are sincere, sometimes humorous but the ones that I would avoid are the ones that have a demanding, ranty tone because that’s at odds with what I would be interested in reading.
If we’re saying that people don’t read profiles anyway, then what do we achieve from having a demanding, shouty profile text?
Our profile is the window to us. I look at it that it’s not about deterring people I don’t want to meet but it is about attracting the ones I do want to meet. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Men are told often we do t know how to write profiles or messages. Hats only because not many women ask or start threads asking. There's some awefuly unattractive profiles out there, regardless what the reason is.
This is actually a fair point. I guess as women even those with little on their profile get several messages a day. So they don't feel a need to get any profile advice. I agree though. I've seen some very unattractive negative profiles.
*goes to check own profile text*"
I had to check my own after I posted this. Woman probably will get mail, and if it's not broke why fix it? And that maybe what causes lack of trying in profiles to exist? Mine isn't working, so don't ask me? |
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In all honesty the 'rules' on my profile were as a result of a mixture of things... Being inundated with inappropriate messages as outlined in the second part of your post was one, but mostly they simply grew from having the maturity, experience and confidence to know what I did or didn't want in a sexual partner(s), and a desire to attract only the most compatible prospective partners... why would I wish to settle for less? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As women, the majority of us get a never ending supply of shit in our inboxes....I would imagine the lists are to save people they're not interested in messaging. Obviously this doesn't work for the most part cos 90% of people don't read profiles.
I went for a faq section rather than a list of dos and donts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People can put anything they like to on their own profile but my personal observation is that it’s not always what is written but how it’s written. Sometimes people are sincere, sometimes humorous but the ones that I would avoid are the ones that have a demanding, ranty tone because that’s at odds with what I would be interested in reading.
If we’re saying that people don’t read profiles anyway, then what do we achieve from having a demanding, shouty profile text?
Our profile is the window to us. I look at it that it’s not about deterring people I don’t want to meet but it is about attracting the ones I do want to meet. "
Very well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A question for you OP.
How do any other persons actions on here mess it up for You?
You are responsible for your own interactions those between others have no bearing whatsoever on how you may interact with any person on here.
I'm not quite sure if this is a look at me thread... at least it worked ...or another ranty why can't I get a meet thread dressed up as white night on white stallion with his lance set to fight all comers in this weeks chivalric jousts.
But just like Ikea if some people don't read the instructions and then find they have a couple of nuts left and a wobbly wardrobe it's hard to open the door in the back of it to find Narnia. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate. Forget about marina and Ikea you are confusing yourself. It’s very simple. If you are queuing to get into a restaurant and there are 900 idiots at the door behaving badly also trying to get in the owners might end up telling all of you to piss off and close up shop. Get it?"
There's a fair chunk of us that don't tar all men with the same brush, in fact, you can assume any verified (by single males) single female doesn't or she'd not have met any.
If a woman has specified something on her profile that means you're not what she's looking for, don't take it personally, move on to a lady who IS looking for what you can offer. Too many guys blame their lack of success on here on others...fab is what you make of it, male or female! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mate. Forget about Narnia and Ikea you are confusing yourself. It’s very simple. If you are queuing to get into a restaurant and there are 900 fools at the door being twats the owners might end up telling all of you to piss off and close up shop. Get it?
"A question for you OP.
How do any other persons actions on here mess it up for You?
You are responsible for your own interactions those between others have no bearing whatsoever on how you may interact with any person on here.
I'm not quite sure if this is a look at me thread... at least it worked ...or another ranty why can't I get a meet thread dressed up as white night on white stallion with his lance set to fight all comers in this weeks chivalric jousts.
But just like Ikea if some people don't read the instructions and then find they have a couple of nuts left and a wobbly wardrobe it's hard to open the door in the back of it to find Narnia."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question for you OP.
How do any other persons actions on here mess it up for You?
You are responsible for your own interactions those between others have no bearing whatsoever on how you may interact with any person on here.
I'm not quite sure if this is a look at me thread... at least it worked ...or another ranty why can't I get a meet thread dressed up as white night on white stallion with his lance set to fight all comers in this weeks chivalric jousts.
But just like Ikea if some people don't read the instructions and then find they have a couple of nuts left and a wobbly wardrobe it's hard to open the door in the back of it to find Narnia."
^ Loving this post ^
Haha nice one!
Great thread OP. There is another post in here I need to check out again because that is spot on... brb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a fair chunk of us that don't tar all men with the same brush, in fact, you can assume any verified (by single males) single female doesn't or she'd not have met any.
If a woman has specified something on her profile that means you're not what she's looking for, don't take it personally, move on to a lady who IS looking for what you can offer. Too many guys blame their lack of success on here on others...fab is what you make of it, male or female! "
Bingo
That pretty much sums it up OP. Please do take this on board and you may find things become more enjoyable.
Focus on yourself rather then what others do... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People can put anything they like to on their own profile but my personal observation is that it’s not always what is written but how it’s written. Sometimes people are sincere, sometimes humorous but the ones that I would avoid are the ones that have a demanding, ranty tone because that’s at odds with what I would be interested in reading.
If we’re saying that people don’t read profiles anyway, then what do we achieve from having a demanding, shouty profile text?
Our profile is the window to us. I look at it that it’s not about deterring people I don’t want to meet but it is about attracting the ones I do want to meet. "
At long last someone posts the blatantly obvious!
PS. Gizza shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so this is probably not going to win me any friends. Maybe even a bit of abuse. But does anybody else find it odd that loads of lady’s profiles read like a school rule book: “Do this. Do that. Don’t do this”. Either there are loads of super patronising ladies out there or all the ladies are getting inundated with inappropariate messages from guys with no f****** clue how to act, leading them to write these profiles that read like little lessons in how to behave. I guess it’s probably the latter. Bloody horny dumbass dudes harassing women, messing it up for the rest of us (!)"
It's like this ladies if your a woman with dumb sexual stuff on your profile expect to receive dumb sexual messages and then to put dumb sexual stuff on your profile and then outlining dumb sexual messages you don't want from guys its obvious to me that renders you full of shit, ah hypocrite. *crowd cheers*
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question for you OP.
How do any other persons actions on here mess it up for You?
You are responsible for your own interactions those between others have no bearing whatsoever on how you may interact with any person on here.
I'm not quite sure if this is a look at me thread... at least it worked ...or another ranty why can't I get a meet thread dressed up as white night on white stallion with his lance set to fight all comers in this weeks chivalric jousts.
But just like Ikea if some people don't read the instructions and then find they have a couple of nuts left and a wobbly wardrobe it's hard to open the door in the back of it to find Narnia."
A classic, "look at me, I'm enormous", post . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mate. Forget about marina and Ikea you are confusing yourself. It’s very simple. If you are queuing to get into a restaurant and there are 900 idiots at the door behaving badly also trying to get in the owners might end up telling all of you to piss off and close up shop. Get it?
There's a fair chunk of us that don't tar all men with the same brush, in fact, you can assume any verified (by single males) single female doesn't or she'd not have met any.
If a woman has specified something on her profile that means you're not what she's looking for, don't take it personally, move on to a lady who IS looking for what you can offer. Too many guys blame their lack of success on here on others...fab is what you make of it, male or female! "
Or she's just horny and Dumbo was the catch of the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A question for you OP.
How do any other persons actions on here mess it up for You?
You are responsible for your own interactions those between others have no bearing whatsoever on how you may interact with any person on here.
I'm not quite sure if this is a look at me thread... at least it worked ...or another ranty why can't I get a meet thread dressed up as white night on white stallion with his lance set to fight all comers in this weeks chivalric jousts.
But just like Ikea if some people don't read the instructions and then find they have a couple of nuts left and a wobbly wardrobe it's hard to open the door in the back of it to find Narnia."
Do you think people at ikea customer service had ever referenced Fab?
CSA - "Look, imagine you've read the perfect profile on Fab. They were everything you hoped for. The right size, and would look lovely in your bedroom. You get them back to yours, and after a few minutes usage you realise it's not what you'd hoped for, as the promises just didn't deliver. Well, that bedside cabinet is like that, just send it back in the morning" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As women, the majority of us get a never ending supply of shit in our inboxes....I would imagine the lists are to save people they're not interested in messaging. Obviously this doesn't work for the most part cos 90% of people don't read profiles.
I went for a faq section rather than a list of dos and donts "
never heard it called an inbox before, but nice one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a short list. Mostly because my bio got deleted by admin and I was dead grumpy when I re wrote it.
And the gap of having no bio and receiving daft messages. Yeah not long. So quickly threw together what I have.
I still get daft messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a short list. Mostly because my bio got deleted by admin and I was dead grumpy when I re wrote it.
And the gap of having no bio and receiving daft messages. Yeah not long. So quickly threw together what I have.
I still get daft messages. "
do you like it in the inbox? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Second one.
Although I pretty much have nothing on my profile but I can tell already why women would put it..
So far Iv been offered adult work, money for sex to mention a couple and Iv not long joined. "
Oh that list of weird offers will only get worse, trust me! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's a fair chunk of us that don't tar all men with the same brush, in fact, you can assume any verified (by single males) single female doesn't or she'd not have met any.
If a woman has specified something on her profile that means you're not what she's looking for, don't take it personally, move on to a lady who IS looking for what you can offer. Too many guys blame their lack of success on here on others...fab is what you make of it, male or female!
Bingo
That pretty much sums it up OP. Please do take this on board and you may find things become more enjoyable.
Focus on yourself rather then what others do..."
Another instruction (focus on yourself). That’s what I’m talking about. “Do this. Do that”. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just be cool and stop bossing each other about? Look, some peeps have misunderstood me. I don’t take it personally at all if I’m not someone’s cup of tea and don’t blame anything on anyone. I’m just making two points:
1. some profiles do sound very bossy. I wanted to understand why and I realise - because many women in this thread confirmed it - that for many it’s because of these rude twats spamming them;
2. having women’s inboxes flooded with inappropriate messages might make it harder sometimes to connect because some women get put off and leave the site altogether and others take days to reply because they are busy deleting hundreds of unsolicited dick pics (I know because some have said so).
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