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Swinging - Skeleton in the closet?
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No I wouldn't.
God forbid that I should ever be in a position to start a new relationship but if I did I'd be up front from day one. I think I'd probably tell a guy on a first date. I'd also tell him everything else about what I want from life and encourage him to do the same. I don't have time to spare finding out six months down the line that we're not compatible on basics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That would imply I'm embarrassed or in some way ashamed of anything i do. If I feel I may need to have stuff further down he line I just won't do it in the first place.
Heads high folks...don't be embarrassed about anything you do |
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I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good. |
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"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good."
What if you want to continue swinging?
I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea. 
I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat. |
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"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good.
What if you want to continue swinging?
I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea.
I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat."
I guess that would be your prerogative  |
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"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good.
What if you want to continue swinging?
I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea.
I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat.
I guess that would be your prerogative "
Yep! Nobody tells me I can't have a cat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure if once you've caught the pleasure of non monogamy you would want to go back. Something very special about being able to trust enough to be able to share. So no, I'd not keep it a hidden secret.
L |
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"If you start a new relationship with a non swinger, would you treat swinging as a skeleton in your closet?"
I got flirting with a girl at a rock concert a couple of months back and decided to tell her after a few days in case anything happened between us and then she freaked out about sleeping with someone who was sleeping around so much. She was very niave and was intrigued and wants me to take her to a club. I think I've created a monster, lol. |
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It's important to open up as you are ready and for honesty about the present. My partners past is important but it's not who they are. Part of the beauty for me of forming a relationship is the ongoing opening up to my partner. There's not a need for a skeleton in the closet, when something interesting is good to share. I've never been a nun nor want to portray that and my filthier side is an aspect of my character. |
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Tricky - honesty best policy in a relationship and I am a fundamentally honest person.
But equally there is still a huge prejudice against women who indulge in casual sex - let alone threesomes, orgies, swingers clubs, bdsm...
I have as I'm sure many on here do, a child and their reputation/possible embarrassment to consider, so IF (big if) I were to get into another relationship I'd need to know I could trust them not to be idiots with the info first. |
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