FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Solo swinger again...
Solo swinger again...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I first joined fab 10 years ago, around 5 years ago I started going to clubs and really indulging in the lifestyle as a singleton. I LOVED it, I had a handful of regular playmates and would occasionally meet others too, visited a club most weeks and had a great time.
Then 2 years ago I met the love of my life...on here, and we decided toare a couples profile. We visited clubs a couple of times a month and played with others a couple of times.
Now that he's no longer around I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it really hard to get used to it just being me again...it's such a different dynamic and I'm finding all my old worries and insecurities coming back...
Anyone got any experience with this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I first joined fab 10 years ago, around 5 years ago I started going to clubs and really indulging in the lifestyle as a singleton. I LOVED it, I had a handful of regular playmates and would occasionally meet others too, visited a club most weeks and had a great time.
Then 2 years ago I met the love of my life...on here, and we decided toare a couples profile. We visited clubs a couple of times a month and played with others a couple of times.
Now that he's no longer around I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it really hard to get used to it just being me again...it's such a different dynamic and I'm finding all my old worries and insecurities coming back...
Anyone got any experience with this? "
No experience but your truly stunning and hope you get more experiences |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I first joined fab 10 years ago, around 5 years ago I started going to clubs and really indulging in the lifestyle as a singleton. I LOVED it, I had a handful of regular playmates and would occasionally meet others too, visited a club most weeks and had a great time.
Then 2 years ago I met the love of my life...on here, and we decided toare a couples profile. We visited clubs a couple of times a month and played with others a couple of times.
Now that he's no longer around I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it really hard to get used to it just being me again...it's such a different dynamic and I'm finding all my old worries and insecurities coming back...
Anyone got any experience with this?
No experience but your truly stunning and hope you get more experiences"
Thank you   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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normally on here, I read people joining as singles and then hooking up as a couple. it quite common so I see, like you already know. I can't help you with any advice, but you've been there before, you'll sort it out.
Faf? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big hugs sweetie, I was in a similar situation, first joined this site as a couple! Went to clubs met others out of clubs really enjoyed it, then we split  . I loved this life style and didn’t want it to end so carried on alone him also on separate profiles, we still meet for sex which is great but will never be a Couple again ! Moving on was very scary for me meeting alone was hard because trust comes into it and I find it hard a lot of the time to trust people, all I can say is it was a challenge for me but I stuck with it and it got easier babe , this probably is useless info for you but if you love what you did no reason you can’t carry on alone again and get back to your old self, yes it will be hard but chin up keep going forward don’t look back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Big hugs sweetie, I was in a similar situation, first joined this site as a couple! Went to clubs met others out of clubs really enjoyed it, then we split . I loved this life style and didn’t want it to end so carried on alone him also on separate profiles, we still meet for sex which is great but will never be a Couple again ! Moving on was very scary for me meeting alone was hard because trust comes into it and I find it hard a lot of the time to trust people, all I can say is it was a challenge for me but I stuck with it and it got easier babe , this probably is useless info for you but if you love what you did no reason you can’t carry on alone again and get back to your old self, yes it will be hard but chin up keep going forward don’t look back "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I first joined fab 10 years ago, around 5 years ago I started going to clubs and really indulging in the lifestyle as a singleton. I LOVED it, I had a handful of regular playmates and would occasionally meet others too, visited a club most weeks and had a great time.
Then 2 years ago I met the love of my life...on here, and we decided toare a couples profile. We visited clubs a couple of times a month and played with others a couple of times.
Now that he's no longer around I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it really hard to get used to it just being me again...it's such a different dynamic and I'm finding all my old worries and insecurities coming back...
Anyone got any experience with this?
No experience but your truly stunning and hope you get more experiences
Thank you "
Most welcome may I message you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What were your insecurities before ? If you don't mind me asking. "
I had super low confidence, and lots of trust issues. With him I was 100% comfortable, much more confident and generally just enjoyed sex and the lifestyle more |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I first joined fab 10 years ago, around 5 years ago I started going to clubs and really indulging in the lifestyle as a singleton. I LOVED it, I had a handful of regular playmates and would occasionally meet others too, visited a club most weeks and had a great time.
Then 2 years ago I met the love of my life...on here, and we decided toare a couples profile. We visited clubs a couple of times a month and played with others a couple of times.
Now that he's no longer around I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it really hard to get used to it just being me again...it's such a different dynamic and I'm finding all my old worries and insecurities coming back...
Anyone got any experience with this?
No experience but your truly stunning and hope you get more experiences
Thank you
Most welcome may I message you"
Sure...my filters are pretty open  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am in the same boat as you. Am going to a social on Sunday as a way of dipping my toe back in the water. "
I’ll be interested to know how the social goes as this is something I want to start in the new year |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am in the same boat as you. Am going to a social on Sunday as a way of dipping my toe back in the water.
I’ll be interested to know how the social goes as this is something I want to start in the new year "
Good luck  |
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"What were your insecurities before ? If you don't mind me asking.
I had super low confidence, and lots of trust issues. With him I was 100% comfortable, much more confident and generally just enjoyed sex and the lifestyle more "
I can see that,he definitely made you feel safe, secure and y'all had fun together. Now you gotta be strong on your own. Besides him not being there anymore, just remember things he told you before that made you feel safe. And know those things didn't suddenly change because of his absence. You're still that strong lady, maybe you needed a reminder lol swinging single vs couple is kinda different I'm know. Until you couple up again then you're gonna have to deal with it , sorry. I don't want to come off as no shrink, cause I need to make a few tweaks in life myself. Just giving my 2 cents. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What were your insecurities before ? If you don't mind me asking.
I had super low confidence, and lots of trust issues. With him I was 100% comfortable, much more confident and generally just enjoyed sex and the lifestyle more
I can see that,he definitely made you feel safe, secure and y'all had fun together. Now you gotta be strong on your own. Besides him not being there anymore, just remember things he told you before that made you feel safe. And know those things didn't suddenly change because of his absence. You're still that strong lady, maybe you needed a reminder lol swinging single vs couple is kinda different I'm know. Until you couple up again then you're gonna have to deal with it , sorry. I don't want to come off as no shrink, cause I need to make a few tweaks in life myself. Just giving my 2 cents."
Thank you...I don't intend to couple up again...so will have to get used to it, it's just much tougher than I anticipated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the other way round..I find it easier to meet folk and go along to meets on my own
I'm actually part of a couple on here but the profile is stale and dead in the water just because neither of us like using it much.
My drive to swing drops through he floor if I've got to do it as a couple..especially as the guy, I don't want the meet to be on the basis my Mrs was there..I dunno what it is...I just don't like the idea someone may only be meeting me because I'm in a couple.
If you feel the other way round maybe try going clubs with mates and see how that feels? You'll have some back up as it were and folk to talk to while your there etc.
Failing that, just get used to doing stuff yourself
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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dont overthink it - old securities you say? youve dealt with them once do it again - two choices in life - sit in the corner and rock or get on with it - not always quite that simple but basically its that xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"dont overthink it - old securities you say? youve dealt with them once do it again - two choices in life - sit in the corner and rock or get on with it - not always quite that simple but basically its that xxx "
You're right...I'm always too in my head! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"dont overthink it - old securities you say? youve dealt with them once do it again - two choices in life - sit in the corner and rock or get on with it - not always quite that simple but basically its that xxx
You're right...I'm always too in my head! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am in the same boat as you. Am going to a social on Sunday as a way of dipping my toe back in the water.
I’ll be interested to know how the social goes as this is something I want to start in the new year
Good luck "
Thank you and you too |
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Yes I was a single then part of a couple and for the last 4 years a single girl again. It is what it is, pros and cons to both. If I’m honest I didn’t like the whole swinging couple thing, it just didn’t work for me. Now I just please myself. Usually with a wand  |
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). You're local sometimes...I may have to rope you into a club trip 