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Chuck Norris
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chuck Norris threw a grenade once, in a film, and killed 50 people.
And then the grenade exploded."
Film based on the true story...it was actually 100 men  |
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"They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
Think more like - Chuck Norris could carve his face into Mount Rushmore with his beard."
Kids read comics about Superman. Superman reads comics about Chuck Norris. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.
When the sun was growing up it was told not to stare at chuck norris because it would go blind
The sun orbits chuck Norris "
The sun only rises because Chuck Norris allows it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When Neil Armstrong took the 1st step on the moon. He was greated with a roundhouse kick to the helmet by Chuck Norris. And Chuck said get off my moon bitch !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Run, before he finds you.
Try a different person.
Try someone less dangerous |
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"Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.
There’s not a razor sharp enough.
Chucks beard stops growing when he tells it to stop !!
And he only told it once. "
There’s no chin underneath Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.
There’s not a razor sharp enough."
When he does find a razor sharp enough, all the companies in the world that produce iron filings will go bankrupt. |
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Chuck Norris can hold his breath longer than air.
Chuck Norris once killed 100 enemy soldiers with a twig and the twig did not break.
Chuck Norris tells the sun when to set.
Hercules had 13 labors. His 13th one was fighting Chuck Norris. But because he was beaten up so badly, people only talk about the first 12.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry. |
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"Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
"
After the show they hooked the wheel up to power up a nuclear reactor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chuck was the 4th Wise men at the birth of Jesus, bringing the gift of Beard, which he kept for life.
The other three wise men were pissed off and got Chuck written out of the nativity.
Ever wondered why we don't hear what happened to the wise men afterwards? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one. |
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"What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one."
+2239 points for originality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one.
+2239 points for originality"
Cheers |
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