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Creative ways to make a lazy co worker work
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Kind of a rant...
I have a co-worker who is so FUCKING LAZY. Like, he's worked there long enough to know what he's doing but he just doesn't. He's on constant fag breaks and leaves it to others to pick up the slack regardless of what tasks he's doing. Management know, he's on trouble.
Any creative ways of handling him? Make me smile.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't be too creative in how you choose to single him out. It will only provide evidence for the inevitable tribunal. "
Management already know, as I said. I'm looking for humour!  |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
Take longer to do the job your doing wen thay go out for a fag. then wen thay come back from thar fag brake hopeing ther job has been dun by you and see its not been dun and your still working on your job thay haf to do it in the end  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take longer to do the job your doing wen thay go out for a fag. then wen thay come back from thar fag brake hopeing ther job has been dun by you and see its not been dun and your still working on your job thay haf to do it in the end "
Good idea. Tomorrow all the duties in a certain section will be down to him, so I'm going to get all my shit done and let him do his.  |
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Get management to back you up and tell him he's going to get a final warning or the sack if he's already on a warning. If he's worked there less than two years you don't even have to give a reason  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get management to back you up and tell him he's going to get a final warning or the sack if he's already on a warning. If he's worked there less than two years you don't even have to give a reason "
I don't know if he's on a final warning, but I know he has a meeting soon due to something management have seen with their own eyes that they have proof of, so whatever happens from that... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take up smoking yourself but make it of the naughty version so when you come back you go extra slow and do even less work. "
That's quite marvellous  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get a nice large carrot to nibble on and go on the fag break with him. Keep that crazy look in your eye... 
"
I permanently have a crazy look in my eye  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work. "
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get a nice large carrot to nibble on and go on the fag break with him. Keep that crazy look in your eye...
I permanently have a crazy look in my eye
But do you munch on a large carrot with it "
Hmmm... no. We have large mushrooms?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it "
You can spank his willy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy "
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? "
If u want to get sacked, then go with ur idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go on breaks with them. Make an excuse that you want some fresh air and just blether when they do. When jobs need done say I'll do A B & C if you do X Y & Z and when you've done your stuff leave them to finish their jobs. I would definitely say something about them slacking even if it's done in humorous way so you don't come off as nagging ( yes I also work with lazy bastards) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't do what I did this morning and tell him you'll smack the head off him haha
I'm as soft and gentle as a kitten though "
Untill I touch u, I couldn't accept ur soft and gentle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead?
If u want to get sacked, then go with ur idea "
I'll keep the cucumber ramming outside of work then |
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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
Tape off this work area with some kinda warning tape with a sign saying all work inside this area must be competed by close of business. Failing that put on your best black leather dress thigh boots and a whip and just stand over him whipping him into shape |
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By *ronj1Man
over a year ago
Galway |
"Don't do what I did this morning and tell him you'll smack the head off him haha
I'm as soft and gentle as a kitten though "
So am I normally I know what you mean about lazy feckers
I'm at the point with this fella he speaks and he annoys me
Maybe I should gag him haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go on breaks with them. Make an excuse that you want some fresh air and just blether when they do. When jobs need done say I'll do A B & C if you do X Y & Z and when you've done your stuff leave them to finish their jobs. I would definitely say something about them slacking even if it's done in humorous way so you don't come off as nagging ( yes I also work with lazy bastards) x"
I couldn't - tomorrow in particular as if we're both not there the shift will just go tits up and I'll get into shit - but at the end of my shift I'd be able to zoom round, get my stuff done and leave him to struggle with his stuff. I plan to give him every opportunity to do stuff right tomorrow x |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? "
make sure it's the prickly type and cover it in deep heat first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tape off this work area with some kinda warning tape with a sign saying all work inside this area must be competed by close of business. Failing that put on your best black leather dress thigh boots and a whip and just stand over him whipping him into shape "
My only problem there is my lack of a black leather dress |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don't do what I did this morning and tell him you'll smack the head off him haha
I'm as soft and gentle as a kitten though
So am I normally I know what you mean about lazy feckers
I'm at the point with this fella he speaks and he annoys me
Maybe I should gag him haha "
Fingers in your ears and hum? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take up smoking yourself but make it of the naughty version so when you come back you go extra slow and do even less work.
That's quite marvellous "
Take a fab break ? Take the same time as he does on his fag break see if he likes it ?
Or just get everyone to go on the sick for a day due to the stress of picking up all the work he should do !! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? make sure it's the prickly type and cover it in deep heat first"
Voddy! That's almost too cruel.
Almost. |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? make sure it's the prickly type and cover it in deep heat first
Voddy! That's almost too cruel.
Almost. "
made you smile though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Take up smoking yourself but make it of the naughty version so when you come back you go extra slow and do even less work.
That's quite marvellous
Take a fab break ? Take the same time as he does on his fag break see if he likes it ?
Or just get everyone to go on the sick for a day due to the stress of picking up all the work he should do !! "
I could easily take a break and say I'm going to talk to such and such a manager and ask him to cover me, but I know he'd be too lazy. Ditto if people rang in sick, literally nothing would get done. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell him you will give him a wank, if he completes his work as well ur work.
In that case, I need an appropriate punishment for if he still doesn't do it
You can spank his willy
Can't I just ram a cucumber up his arse instead? make sure it's the prickly type and cover it in deep heat first
Voddy! That's almost too cruel.
Almost. made you smile though "
Possibly  |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Take longer to do the job your doing wen thay go out for a fag. then wen thay come back from thar fag brake hopeing ther job has been dun by you and see its not been dun and your still working on your job thay haf to do it in the end
Good idea. Tomorrow all the duties in a certain section will be down to him, so I'm going to get all my shit done and let him do his. "
Trust me this works.
I got a simyoular problem at my job.
1 co worker keeps trying to evoid all the hard jobs just cos thay carnt be arsked to do them.
But thay allways end up doing at lest 1 of them cos i make Shor I'm bizzy doing sum other job.
Even if it Taks 30 mins to just clean down 1 small work surface
As a side effect even if thay try and have a extra brake,s or find a easy job or wotever that 1 big job thay try to evoid but haf to do is still sitting Thar and won't get dun by anyone els so thay unhappyley end up doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Go on breaks with them. Make an excuse that you want some fresh air and just blether when they do. When jobs need done say I'll do A B & C if you do X Y & Z and when you've done your stuff leave them to finish their jobs. I would definitely say something about them slacking even if it's done in humorous way so you don't come off as nagging ( yes I also work with lazy bastards) x
I couldn't - tomorrow in particular as if we're both not there the shift will just go tits up and I'll get into shit - but at the end of my shift I'd be able to zoom round, get my stuff done and leave him to struggle with his stuff. I plan to give him every opportunity to do stuff right tomorrow x"
Fuckum keep yourself right and go straight to management then x |
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By *ronj1Man
over a year ago
Galway |
"Don't do what I did this morning and tell him you'll smack the head off him haha
I'm as soft and gentle as a kitten though
So am I normally I know what you mean about lazy feckers
I'm at the point with this fella he speaks and he annoys me
Maybe I should gag him haha
Fingers in your ears and hum? "
Il give it ago
Il prob look like abit of a looney but sure if it blocks him out happy days haha |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Old mentor of mine once said.
"Ask them to do something, then put a gun to their head.
If they go and do it, it's lack of motivation.
If they don't, it's lack of understanding".
Typical American. |
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