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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Irish zookeeping apperentice has his first day on the job, the head zookeeper tells him his first job is to sweep the walkways of the aquarium area, so he picks up his broom had heads down there, two minutes of sweeping, BOOM! the back of the broom handle has smashed the main fish tank, all the water has drained out and the fish are flapping around on the floor, 'oh jaysus I dornt wanna be losin me job on de foirst dey' he thinks to himself and starts stamping on all the fish and scoops them up with his shovel, and walks to the lion enclosure and chucks the dead fish over the wall.
An hour passes and the head zookeeper appears, 'roite I want ye to go to the monkey enclosure, and sweep around dere, Der monkeys have been flingin dere poop at de visitors again' so off he goes... He starts sweeping, BOOM! The end of his broom has hit a chimp straight in the temple and killed him outright, 'I'll do de same ting as oi did before' off he trots with a the dead chimp over his shoulder to the lion enclosure...and over it goes.
An hour later the head zookeeper appears.. 'roite, I want ye to sweep around de beehives'.... Off he goes sweep sweep, (you've guessed it!) BOOM! over the beehive goes, bees everywhere all over the floor, buzzing about, so he stamps on all the bees on the floor, scoops them up with his shovel, (he's thinking at this point he's got away with twice before, he'll just do it again....great!) Over to the lion enclosure, OVER they go.
The next day, a new lion has been acquired from Colchester zoo, he's let into the enclosure, and he walks over to the resident Irish lion and says 'Alright mate, what's the grub here like?.. the Irish lion replies 'well de food here usually here is shiote, but yesturday oi had fekkin Fish, Chimp, and mushy bees!'
No offense to any Irish zookeepers or lions from Essex.  |
