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a question to the men
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you mean? Assertiveness?
Confidence is beautiful but can come across as arrogant no matter what sex you are. But, What do you mean assertive? Please give an example of how a woman can be assertive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Confidence in an ability you don't have is frustrating.
Assertiveness is a trait unique to women. In a man it's called being argumentative."
I think it depends on how folk wear their confidence/assertiveness. Quietly confident is good, in your face confidence can be a bit intimidating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think it depends on how folk wear their confidence/assertiveness. Quietly confident is good, in your face confidence can be a bit intimidating."
I tend to agree.
A woman who is confident in her sexuality, knows what she wants and likes is a turn on for me. A woman who goes further than that, who is confident to the point of arrogance is a turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think confidence and assertiveness applied in arrogant manner is the problem in both sexes.
I have no issue in females being confident...in fact I like to be challenged by peers not sucked up to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confidence, self assurance and assertiveness are built on high self-esteem
Arrogance and aggressiveness and being demanding and hard work are born of low self esteem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confidence makes for good easy and relaxed conversation. Confident people usually have lots of interesting life experiences and opinions they can bring to the table. In the right person, it adds to their sex appeal.
Assertiveness is very difficult to get right without coming across as lots of other things and, not many people manage it with out coming across as those other less positive traits. Not sexy at all!
There is nothing wrong with a person that knows what they want, when they want, how they want but, if you are relying on some one else to fulfil those wants and expect another free thinking being with their own ideas on things to fall in with you, I suggest a bit of diplomatic assertiveness...or it's a fuck off from me  |
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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
Confidence can take many forms, a self confident lady exudes an aura that is difficult to resist..
Assertiveness is aso a good trait to have too, but in moderation..
Either of those traits can both be taken to far, becoming downright rude or arrogant so I guess it is subjective...
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
I've no idea. I find both a turn on and desirable qualities in a woman. Maybe insecure guys are intimidated? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
It's not. It's sexy as fuck! (But if you don't have enough character to handle it I suppose it can be intimidating) |
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By *milersiMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
It’s only iewed by men like that when they can’t handle it or are possibly controlling.
I personally find it a very attractive trait in a women, you want someone that you know can look after themselves and have goals in life.. I personally wouldn’t want a woman that just agrees and plods on through life.. no fun in that x |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
I have stopped talking to women because I was getting the impression they were 'demanding or hard work' Confidence, particularly in bed and personality are both massive turn ons. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
I love these traits in women and am very much attracted to them as they compliment my own personality.
I suppose it can come across as intimidating or threatening for people who don't have those traits themselves? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong with either. Like many have already said it’s how it’s put across that makes it unattractive - arrogance, being aggressive or rude.
What find a major turn off is the complete opposite. Low self esteem and the inability to make decision. People (men or women) with either or both I find ‘hard work’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
its not; it is rewarded with "respect"
.
I was admiring a young girl at the gym yesterday, I would say she was early 20's maybe even late teens, very petite but 100% dedicated to her weights, she had excellent routines and she had a well cut, defined figure that could only be achieved with confidence and dedication, she wasn't into chatting, playing with mobile phones, just pure dedication to her work out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
It's not. I much prefer a woman who knows her own mind, especially in this environment. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you mean? Assertiveness?
Confidence is beautiful but can come across as arrogant no matter what sex you are. But, What do you mean assertive? Please give an example of how a woman can be assertive "
In this case I'm talking of the written form - simply stating what she wants. Surely that only becomes demanding if she tells someone they have to provide it (as opposed to them accepting it or moving on). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Demanding and hard work are demanding and hard work.
You can be confident and assertive without being an annoying cunt "
I don't think my cunt is annoying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s nothing wrong with confidence and assertive women... I find them incredibly attractive attributes.
The problem is when people think they’re assertive when they’re actually just loud, brash and intrusive. But that’s not limited to women... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Confidence can take many forms, a self confident lady exudes an aura that is difficult to resist..
Assertiveness is aso a good trait to have too, but in moderation..
Either of those traits can both be taken to far, becoming downright rude or arrogant so I guess it is subjective...
"
Or simply misconstrued (which is easy in the written form). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
Suppose if that confidence crosses the line into arrogance and assertiveness crosses the line into diva-ness that could be considered hard work. Then everyone has different views on where those lines begin and end.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?
I've no idea. I find both a turn on and desirable qualities in a woman. Maybe insecure guys are intimidated? "
I definitely think there's an element of insecurity, or perhaps someone who cba to make any effort - his way or the highway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
Very difficult question to answer without firsthand experience.
I tend to find those qualities attractive in women.
Overconfidence can be rather unattractive and assertiveness without kindness or a mutual form of compromise has in the past made me feel like activities were a tad onesided.
But that all depends on the people involved as nothing is down to two attributes of a person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
Its the same if a guy does it to a woman and you cant mistake being assertive or confident for being either of those things
Being too assertive and or too confident make you an arrogent creep regardless of gender
Being hard work and or demanding are two different beasts, but you notice that as a good rule of thumb, if someone is one of these things they are very likely to be the other as well
These are part of being a spoilt little brat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say being assertive is a positive thing while chatting. A work environment yes but I could see my friend describing me that and me being happy about it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?
Its the same if a guy does it to a woman and you cant mistake being assertive or confident for being either of those things
Being too assertive and or too confident make you an arrogent creep regardless of gender
Being hard work and or demanding are two different beasts, but you notice that as a good rule of thumb, if someone is one of these things they are very likely to be the other as well
These are part of being a spoilt little brat."
Careful, brat can be part of a BDSM dynamic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not just women, it can be a horrible trait for guys as well.
a measure of confidence it great but there is a thin line between that and arrogance, in the same way that assertiveness can be seen as being stubborn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you mean? Assertiveness?
Confidence is beautiful but can come across as arrogant no matter what sex you are. But, What do you mean assertive? Please give an example of how a woman can be assertive
In this case I'm talking of the written form - simply stating what she wants. Surely that only becomes demanding if she tells someone they have to provide it (as opposed to them accepting it or moving on). "
Got it. maybe it's viewed as hard work (needy/high maintenance ) because the other person wants an easy ride. I dunno, I like woman who are clear and upfront. And if she demonstrates confidence, damn, that's cute. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you mean? Assertiveness?
Confidence is beautiful but can come across as arrogant no matter what sex you are. But, What do you mean assertive? Please give an example of how a woman can be assertive
In this case I'm talking of the written form - simply stating what she wants. Surely that only becomes demanding if she tells someone they have to provide it (as opposed to them accepting it or moving on).
Got it. maybe it's viewed as hard work (needy/high maintenance ) because the other person wants an easy ride. I dunno, I like woman who are clear and upfront. And if she demonstrates confidence, damn, that's cute. "
I stated similar with a cba attitude. If person (a) wants xyz and person (b) doesn't want to give xyz, it shows incompatibility. No need for derogatory labels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is confidence or assertiveness in a woman sometimes viewed as demanding or hard work?"
Can't speak for others, but because I'm quite passive in terms of personality (I'm more laid back than a reclining chair), I think I'd probably fit well with a confident or assertive woman.
I can be the put-upon husband of a battleaxe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s two separate things obviously.
Confidence can come from various forms and shows that whoever possesses it knows what they are doing. Potentially......
Assertiveness is a way of interacting with a situation or person.
Now no situation or person is ever the same as we know. So should the same strategy apply to all situations and people? No of course not.
I find that confidence and assertiveness works well when required in the correct context. But in others it’s utterly the worst apporach to take.
Regardless of female or male, treat me or talk to me in the wrong way in the wrong situation you are simply a bell end.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find that the least confident are the most demanding because they need constant validation. "
This.
Though not giving you validation for confidence lol. |
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