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GUILT RIDDEN
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tough question. I couldn't see myself ringing the school first tho.
Id.prob have messaged her asking why it was like that.
Maybe she had a kids party the night before.
Maybe the cats was I'll and not able to make the tray.
Like I said it's a tough question. |
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"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Was not expecting the story to take that turn.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing to feel guilty bout, it was lucky you had an idea who to inform, the school will ensure that a welfare check is done. The woman probably just needs help coping and hopefully she'll now get it |
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Am more concerned about how you knew which school her kid's went to and their names rather than the state of the house.
I work in social housing if I reported every messy house I went in I'd never get any work done.
Besides just because someone is untidy doesn't make them a bad parent, just lazy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am more concerned about how you knew which school her kid's went to and their names rather than the state of the house.
I work in social housing if I reported every messy house I went in I'd never get any work done.
Besides just because someone is untidy doesn't make them a bad parent, just lazy."
She told him the school was over the road, and he could have just given the address, he wouldn't have needed to know the kids names? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was constantly as bad as when you visited the school would most likely already be aware and the children being monitored to some degree or other, so you shouldn't feel bad for reporting, if there is a problem it'll help get her the support she needs.
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Good story, by the way which university you work for??  |
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You did the right thing. If you didn’t make the call you’d probably still be concerned about not doing anything. And chances are the family were already on the school/social services radar. Anyone who isn’t disgusted as those living conditions should probably take a look at themselves. Mrs x |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
It's called safeguarding and child protection for a reason. The child comes first.
Children who are in need often don't have a voice, and rely on adults to speak up for them, and not look the other way.
Well done, OP. Be proud, not ashamed. |
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As long as you gave a factual account of what you saw and made no assumptions or jumped to any conclusions what's there to feel guilty about?
Would I have phoned the school? Probably not, it isn't a crime to have a filthy house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as you gave a factual account of what you saw and made no assumptions or jumped to any conclusions what's there to feel guilty about?
Would I have phoned the school? Probably not, it isn't a crime to have a filthy house."
 isnt a sign of neglected kids either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Felt nervous!
If your entertaining a guest your house should be clean.
She's probably a really dirty bitch. Who entertains so often she doesn't care about standards anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your house stinks of piss and the binns are full and you entertain strangers with kids in the house?
Your a typical shit mum
Likely to cost the state alot of money.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
I personally would not have got the school involved because things like that are deadly serious. If her kids get taken off her how would that make you feel? (Espicially since you've posted this thread, it wouldn't be hard for her to work out it was you)
I'd be more annoyed that she invited me over knowing that the house was such a mess, I've defo make my excuses and leave. |
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"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?
I personally would not have got the school involved because things like that are deadly serious. If her kids get taken off her how would that make you feel? (Espicially since you've posted this thread, it wouldn't be hard for her to work out it was you)
I'd be more annoyed that she invited me over knowing that the house was such a mess, I've defo make my excuses and leave. "
Kids aren’t taken away just because the house was filthy on one occasion. But, if social services did get involved then hopefully the woman is now getting the support she needs and her children are enjoying life in clean, hygienic conditions. Children need adults to look out for them, too many people turn a blind eye and that just enables neglect or abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If your house stinks of piss and the binns are full and you entertain strangers with kids in the house?
Your a typical shit mum
Likely to cost the state alot of money.
"
Wow not judgemental at all... and the kids were at school not at home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?
Was not expecting the story to take that turn.
"
I thought the same, I was expecting a punchline to a joke.  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First thing first; let's all remember that he travels all over Europe, and he was in her hometown. We don't even know which country he was in, so we don't know what the social service system is like in that country. One would hope that they try and work with the parent/parents to try and make things better, and provide help where needed. People are calling this woman a dirty bitch and such, but to be fair, we don't know the full situation. It could have been sheer laziness, or it could be that she has some underlying mental illness that makes it extremely hard sometimes for her to juggle her life around to do everything. Sure, she shouldn't have been inviting people into a house in that state, and should have been using that time that she had set aside to meet someone to get on top of the mess. But, without a full picture, we can't really judge everything.
As for feeling guilty; it's natural, but you shouldn't. You did the right thing in telling the school. The kids might be being monitored, but they also may not be. As I said; different country, different system. Hopefully this family will get the help they need, as a whole, and some kids will get a better life with their mum, who might start getting the medical attention that she needs |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Did you let her know you weren't going to make it?
She may have had a mental issue and needs help, but it can be disappointing harsh on her, if she believed in you being genuine and felt she had shared her innermost thoughts with someone who was not, as she maybe unaware you showed up at all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
that's a good point and yes I did.
Like ladies who get their friends to ring at a pre-set time on a first date I did have a back up.
I said that Id been recalled to work.
She accepted this. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"that's a good point and yes I did.
Like ladies who get their friends to ring at a pre-set time on a first date I did have a back up.
I said that Id been recalled to work.
She accepted this."
That's good. I'm glad you dud that. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
If this woman needs help, you should actually be proud of taking notice, and doing something that helps her and the children.
Imagine how guilty and torn you would feel if you just left and did nothing.
Unless there is a large history of severe problems,
the children will be supported along with her in rectifying the situation, if it was really bad.
They won't be taken away from her just for something like this.
I believe you did the right thing and, I'm sure that somewhere inside you know you did too. |
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"i just feel like a tattle tale...."
None of us saw what you did. You made a judgement call at the time. If you hadn’t made the call, no doubt you’d be thinking / maybe worrying that there are children being neglected and you hadn’t done anything about it. Assuming intervention from some authority was made, they’d either verify and act on the situation or disagree with you and no further action.
I think you did the right thing. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Don't fill guilty about it. OP
As you sed
No child should live in that.
As overs have sed the school will find people that than can help them.
Thay won't be takon away unles thay find sumthing worce and think the kids are in danger and she is a un fit to pearount. |
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"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?
Was not expecting the story to take that turn.
"
Nor I!
Being slovenly isn't a crime and has no correlation between being a good or bad parent.
Would I have got the authorities involved? No.
Do I castigate the op for doing so? No.
I'm ambivalent on this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People do struggle with some things and its nothing to be ashamed of.
but personally i wouldn't have put this on here (if you felt that bad, why not call her tell her what you did and then ask her to forgive you)
We all make judgments on people in society and in my work i have to sometimes alert a manager to their wellbeing if i am concerned. ( i actually tell people i do it)
BTW how would she feel if she is on here and read it, are you 100% sure shes not on her OP
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You did the right thing.
A child's welfare is paramount, and if there are signs of them living in an unhealthy environment then we as adults have a responsibility to raise concerns so the situation can be looked at.
The school will be aware if the kids appear to be looked after and clean ect, and are best able to get the right people involved if needed.
If there are no concerns then yeah she'll be pissed she got reported, but you will know the kids are safe.
If there are concerns then you could have potentionally saved lives if there was any neglect or family health problems that need treating.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you think you would do it again if you were faced with the same scenario?
If you wouldn't, then you know, deep down, you were wrong. If you would, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I can only be as sure as what she told me.
She met a guy and came off and asked me to stop contact to "give it a go".
she wasnt keen on the site.so
yes thats a good point.
regards. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Guess what? Our house is usually a mess because of the blooming kids & our battle of wills regarding tidying up!! :D
But we'd probably report or at the very least question or offer assistance to tidy.
S |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think you would do it again if you were faced with the same scenario?
If you wouldn't, then you know, deep down, you were wrong. If you would, then you have nothing to feel guilty about."
I guess that's the nexus of the crisis.
Truthfully I dont know.It's made me feel jaded bit then how would I feel if I didnt.
regards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think you would do it again if you were faced with the same scenario?
If you wouldn't, then you know, deep down, you were wrong. If you would, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I guess that's the nexus of the crisis.
Truthfully I dont know.It's made me feel jaded bit then how would I feel if I didnt.
regards"
I guess you'll only get closure if you contacted her, and that wouldn't go down well. I'm guessing the school etc wouldn't tell you because of confidentiality. So I think you have to suck it up. You're not going to get definitive absolution here.
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"Do you think you would do it again if you were faced with the same scenario?
If you wouldn't, then you know, deep down, you were wrong. If you would, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I guess that's the nexus of the crisis.
Truthfully I dont know.It's made me feel jaded bit then how would I feel if I didnt.
regards"
To me that shows you care, and you're now concerned you may have made things worse, it's a good quality for any person to have these feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Wow I was t expecting that! I agree with the safeguarding comments. Too many people would have just walked away. Whilst some will have jumped into bed irrespective! This has made me realise that when I look at peoples pics I always look at the background and unconsciously rule people out that have a (really) messy (read grotty) house! We all have our untidy days but no need for dirty messes... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?"
Wow I was t expecting that! I agree with the safeguarding comments. Too many people would have just walked away. Whilst some will have jumped into bed irrespective! This has made me realise that when I look at peoples pics I always look at the background and unconsciously rule people out that have a (really) messy (read grotty) house! We all have our untidy days but no need for dirty messes... |
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Listen guys I know this guy the op well n he’s not a cold hearted bastard I know he will of done this out of care n compassion n thought it was for the best for the kids maybe he shouldn’t of done what he did but hey we all keep kids interests first they are the main priority in life  |
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"I can only be as sure as what she told me.
She met a guy and came off and asked me to stop contact to "give it a go".
she wasnt keen on the site.so
yes thats a good point.
regards."
You were in touch with her after this occasion then. Did she mention anything about contact from the authorities at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I want to know what you told the school and how you came about going there.
Did you say you were calling round to the house to have sex with a woman you'd been chatting to on a swingers site?
How much notice did she have before your arrival, if she knew you were always travelling and hard to secure a meet what if she tidied her bedroom with the view of taking you straight upstairs apologising saying she's been really busy what with the 3 kids and a tom cat that pees everywhere.
I think calling the school was totally out of order and you had no right to do that.
If the kids were going to school scruffy and smelly or bruises on them the teachers would know something was up and would have notified the authorities. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can only be as sure as what she told me.
She met a guy and came off and asked me to stop contact to "give it a go".
she wasnt keen on the site.so
yes thats a good point.
regards.
You were in touch with her after this occasion then. Did she mention anything about contact from the authorities at all?"
only after id closed the door.
she asked if i was coming and said id had to hurry back.
she messaged a few times after as if nothing changed and then announced she'd met a guy and was coming off fab and would i stop messaging to give her new relationship a chance.
that was that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If your house stinks of piss and the binns are full and you entertain strangers with kids in the house?
Your a typical shit mum
Likely to cost the state alot of money.
"
*shakes head* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Earlier this year I began chatting to a now ex-fabber.
We got on well enough to exchange numbers and our chat covered the sexual and the everyday.
We arranged to meet.
My work takes me Europe wide and on one day I was in her hometown.
I asked to meet but she insisted I visit her at home.I knew she had three children and she reassured me that they would be at school and as it was only over the road,anytime after 08:40 would be fine.
As I walked to her home she text me her address and had put her door on latch and that she was a-waiting.
With a nervous but excited gait I pushed on the door......
The smell of cat urine was eye stingingly obnoxious.Takeaway food lay strewn amongst piles of clothes.A bird was flying freely and the carpet was covered by open bin laders of rubbish.
I shut the door and briskly walked away.
I made an excuse.
What I did after Ive felt guilt since.
I rang the kids school and relayed the conditions.The receptionist thanked me.
No child should live in that,but,who am I to judge a person.
What would you have done?
I personally would not have got the school involved because things like that are deadly serious. If her kids get taken off her how would that make you feel? (Espicially since you've posted this thread, it wouldn't be hard for her to work out it was you)
I'd be more annoyed that she invited me over knowing that the house was such a mess, I've defo make my excuses and leave. "
Lack of funding = taking children away only if in imminent danger (educated assumption admittedly). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First thing first; let's all remember that he travels all over Europe, and he was in her hometown. We don't even know which country he was in, so we don't know what the social service system is like in that country. One would hope that they try and work with the parent/parents to try and make things better, and provide help where needed. People are calling this woman a dirty bitch and such, but to be fair, we don't know the full situation. It could have been sheer laziness, or it could be that she has some underlying mental illness that makes it extremely hard sometimes for her to juggle her life around to do everything. Sure, she shouldn't have been inviting people into a house in that state, and should have been using that time that she had set aside to meet someone to get on top of the mess. But, without a full picture, we can't really judge everything.
As for feeling guilty; it's natural, but you shouldn't. You did the right thing in telling the school. The kids might be being monitored, but they also may not be. As I said; different country, different system. Hopefully this family will get the help they need, as a whole, and some kids will get a better life with their mum, who might start getting the medical attention that she needs"
Absolutely
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Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This, along with the rest of the OPs posts, is nonesense. It’s a troll!
A troll,what makes you say that?
.. and why would you bring the thread back to life just to say that?"
Well spotted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour. "
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net. |
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net. "
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects. "
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation. |
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation."
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation.
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse."
As a professional, I'm happy to follow safeguarding protocols. As a parent, I'm happy to be monitored if someone believes my child is at risk. If only these protocols were in place 30-40 years ago! |
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation.
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse.
As a professional, I'm happy to follow safeguarding protocols. As a parent, I'm happy to be monitored if someone believes my child is at risk. If only these protocols were in place 30-40 years ago!"
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation.
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse.
As a professional, I'm happy to follow safeguarding protocols. As a parent, I'm happy to be monitored if someone believes my child is at risk. If only these protocols were in place 30-40 years ago!
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother"
You're acting pathetic. It's obvious i am going to rely on historical experiences and professional values. Whereas what do you have? Some delusion of control being taken away from you and others? Which should happen if you're doing wrong!
Children have rights.
Children are not possessions. |
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation.
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse.
As a professional, I'm happy to follow safeguarding protocols. As a parent, I'm happy to be monitored if someone believes my child is at risk. If only these protocols were in place 30-40 years ago!
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother
You're acting pathetic. It's obvious i am going to rely on historical experiences and professional values. Whereas what do you have? Some delusion of control being taken away from you and others? Which should happen if you're doing wrong!
Children have rights.
Children are not possessions."
If you were relying on historical evidence you would not want the state arbitrarily monitoring your parenting. Don't rant about childrens rights when you are pro abotion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even though it clearly didn't happen and is hypothetical, i do cringe at all the high and mighty people saying it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to have the balls to confront her on it and find out what mitigating circumstances (if any) there are, before running of to the gestapo to snitch on your neighbour.
In safeguarding one is taught to err on the side of caution. The safeguarding team would prefer over-cautious reporters than a child slipping through the net.
My issue is that people should have the balls to confront the situation and find out the facts rather that using the state as their first point of call for all social problems. It's funny to me that people living in an extreme individualist culture don't even seem to be aware of it, let alone the negative aspects.
If a child needs safeguarding, your action could aggravate the situation.
Unlike the stress of being monitored by social services with the implied threat of having your children taken away from you, yeah no way that could make the situation worse.
As a professional, I'm happy to follow safeguarding protocols. As a parent, I'm happy to be monitored if someone believes my child is at risk. If only these protocols were in place 30-40 years ago!
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother
You're acting pathetic. It's obvious i am going to rely on historical experiences and professional values. Whereas what do you have? Some delusion of control being taken away from you and others? Which should happen if you're doing wrong!
Children have rights.
Children are not possessions.
If you were relying on historical evidence you would not want the state arbitrarily monitoring your parenting. Don't rant about childrens rights when you are pro abotion "
Errmmm the state didn't protect me so that means i wouldn't want the state to protect my children if they were at risk? Are you off your rocker?
I'm prochoice. The foetus, in law doesn't have rights, the mother does. Children have rights. |
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I absolutely would not have phoned the school - it is not appropriate based upon not meeting the person or knowing more details. And most people will trust you for discretion - this person trusted you with what was perhaps her home, valuables and personal safety.
Her home may not have been hers, it may have been occupied by others, cleaning up was scheduled shortly afterwards etc. Outsiders won't know.
But when you have made mistakes, you need to repay and forget - you move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This, along with the rest of the OPs posts, is nonesense. It’s a troll!
Didn’t read that thread was 4 weeks old and it came on the back of following that green arrow!
"
He sounds like an angry young man in some posts. If the scenario is fake, it has brought something interesting to light, as to when you would seek safeguarding.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am more concerned about how you knew which school her kid's went to and their names rather than the state of the house.
I work in social housing if I reported every messy house I went in I'd never get any work done.
Besides just because someone is untidy doesn't make them a bad parent, just lazy.
She told him the school was over the road, and he could have just given the address, he wouldn't have needed to know the kids names?"
m
Wonder who he said he was  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am more concerned about how you knew which school her kid's went to and their names rather than the state of the house.
I work in social housing if I reported every messy house I went in I'd never get any work done.
Besides just because someone is untidy doesn't make them a bad parent, just lazy.
She told him the school was over the road, and he could have just given the address, he wouldn't have needed to know the kids names?m
Wonder who he said he was "
When safeguarding, you can remain anonymous. |
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You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation?"
Evidence? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation?"
Having sex isn't illegal or detrimental to your childrens' health. There would have been more than that for children to be removed from parents. |
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"You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation?
Evidence?"
If it's that case in Wolverhampton then there was a lot of factors that didn't make the papers and it's a bad example. However, the evidence is that tens of thousands of children are being unjustly taken from their parents because of the many people who assume big brother never gets it wrong so best to snitch first and ask questions later:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jan/18/children-parents-foster-social-care-families-adoption |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I currently have clothes and pizza boxes lying about in the house. I have 2 cats and a litter box which, if they’ve used it, absolutely stinks until it’s changed and cleaned. One of my cats is also really old and occasionally has accidents and pees on the floor. Until it’s cleaned, it stinks and often the smell lingers for a while after it’s all been cleaned and disinfected.
Should I be reported too? You don’t know the full story of what is going on. You didn’t know the kids were being mistreated in any way.
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"You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation?
Evidence?"
I started a thread a couple of weeks ago about a couple in Wolverhampton who had their children removed and placed up for adoption because they were meeting people off Plenty of Fish separately and bringing them home for sex.
No doubt other factors would have been taken into account but in broadstrokes the media reported it as swingers' children taken away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're all a bunch of hypocrites.
The courts have taken children off people just for having no string sex with people from Pof.
So everyone above who has children has reported their own behaviour to the council for monitoring and investigation?
Evidence?
I started a thread a couple of weeks ago about a couple in Wolverhampton who had their children removed and placed up for adoption because they were meeting people off Plenty of Fish separately and bringing them home for sex.
No doubt other factors would have been taken into account but in broadstrokes the media reported it as swingers' children taken away."
It was your thread i was thinking about. |
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