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Cheating right or wrong?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Love my wife and family.She totally lost her sex drive after child birth.She also has thyroid problems now and is not happy with her own looks and weight.I,ve done as much as possible to support her but the situation hasn,t changed for years.I haven,t seen my wife naked for a long time as she is so self concious of her body.As you can imagine i am and have been doing various things to fill the void in my sex life.Is this acceptable moral behaviour?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Love my wife and family.She totally lost her sex drive after child birth.She also has thyroid problems now and is not happy with her own looks and weight.I,ve done as much as possible to support her but the situation hasn,t changed for years.I haven,t seen my wife naked for a long time as she is so self concious of her body.As you can imagine i am and have been doing various things to fill the void in my sex life.Is this acceptable moral behaviour?"

No.

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By *ornwall-maleMan over a year ago

newquay

No."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is your life and how you want to live it is entirely your choice.

You have to live with whatever decisions you make, and their consequences.

No one can advise you on what is right or wrong, as no one knows the exact nature of your circumstances.

IMHO.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the wrong place to post something like this, you will get those who see cheating as a strict no no, I had a similar situation as yourself and got slated by some people.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I love most the people on these forums, honestly, but I would not be seeking any type of validation from them. Your life, your choices, you deal with the consequences, not us.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

If people are going to ask they have to take all come backs...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I love most the people on these forums, honestly, but I would not be seeking any type of validation from them. Your life, your choices, you deal with the consequences, not us."

Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always best to keep your head down on this subject

You know your reasons for doing what you are doing only you can feel if it right or wrong for you

The bit I find wrong is your wife cannot defend herself on here best to say nowt publicly but be honest if asked I would say

Good luck

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

this is a discusion,you should have with your wife.

she is the only person,who can give you any kind of answer,that means anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hun its your choice you have been a good husband to your wife no doubt and only you can really answer the question whether its right or wrong. but maybe a crazy idea but have you tried talking about this to your wife by explaining how much you love her and your not leaving but you do have needs i dont might be a crazy idea but if you was my husband i would prefer to know and maybe her sex drive might find its way back home so you wouldnt need to do anything with someone else. Good luck hun take care

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By *ornwall-maleMan over a year ago

newquay

"Hun its your choice you have been a good husband to your wife no doubt and only you can really answer the question whether its right or wrong. but maybe a crazy idea but have you tried talking about this to your wife by explaining how much you love her and your not leaving but you do have needs i dont might be a crazy idea but if you was my husband i would prefer to know and maybe her sex drive might find its way back home so you wouldnt need to do anything with someone else. Good luck hun take care "

agress that good communication may help. its one of the strongest things in any relationship. so give it a try.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

agress that good communication may help. its one of the strongest things in any relationship. so give it a try.

Good communication requires honesty.

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By *ayne n JockCouple over a year ago

Dunfermline

YOU ASKED SO GIVING MY OPINION FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

If your wife knows your on here and is okay with that .. then it's brilliant

If you are doing this behind her back then you are breaking a trust that may never be repaired if 'found out', it will also add to her insecurities.

You obviously have a guilt issue about this or you would not be asking! So that's good .. this does say alot

I suggest you talk to your wife again .. ask her what you can do to help her feel sexy again [this is all about her lacking in confidence .. the shock to mind & body becoming a mum].. if there is no progress, ask her how you both should deal with this as you have your physical needs but would never do anything to hurt her. Maybe she will suggest you having someone outside and that may have a positive knock on effect on your relationship

I believe trust and openness are key foundations in a relationship .. cracks need mended .. not ignored ;-(

YOU HAVE TO KEEP TALKING & BE HONEST WITH EACHOTHER

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"this is a discusion,you should have with your wife.

she is the only person,who can give you any kind of answer,that means anything."

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By *ondafirestormMan over a year ago

heckington

Do what you want,you only live once,life is too short to miss out on stuff.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Do what you want,you only live once,life is too short to miss out on stuff."

Yes. Even if it means shitting on your family values. xx

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By *ayne n JockCouple over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Do what you want,you only live once,life is too short to miss out on stuff."

true .. but you doing hurt the people you love in life if you can avoid it .. unless your a self centred prat that is ;-(

What stuff are you missing out on???

fucking strangers is fun yes but what life is really about is finding someone really special to love. then if you both swing together .. you are a lucky prat LOL

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Do what you want,you only live once,life is too short to miss out on stuff.

true .. but you doing hurt the people you love in life if you can avoid it .. unless your a self centred prat that is ;-(

What stuff are you missing out on???

fucking strangers is fun yes but what life is really about is finding someone really special to love. then if you both swing together .. you are a lucky prat LOL"

lol Correct !

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple over a year ago

Lisburn

"Do what you want,you only live once,life is too short to miss out on stuff."

thats ok if your single, have only yourself to answer to, but not when your married and have children.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my advice in these type of situations is invariably the same

try popping the shoe on the other foot, just how would it make you feel if it was her on here while your sex drive had taken a dive and you had lost your confidence and then imagine how it would make you feel when you found out she had been getting her jolies with any guy that she could, feel good???

or another angle

do you have a daughter? if not imagine you do, you find out that her partner has been playing around which has obliterated what was left of her already low confidence and you have to watch her crumble before your eyes, just what exactly would you want to do to her husband for doing that to your daughter?

believe it or not i do not judge you for your choices these are just the scenarios i offer to friends that confide in me they are getting tempted to help them view things from a different angle

only you can answer your question not us

good luck in your soul searching

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By *unPeteMan over a year ago

Near Bristol

"my advice in these type of situations is invariably the same

or another angle

believe it or not i do not judge you for your choices these are just the scenarios i offer to friends that confide in me they are getting tempted to help them view things from a different angle

only you can answer your question not us

good luck in your soul searching

Good points above!

Frustration can affect communication, keep talking and listening! Have you tried counselling?

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By *ssentialminx2011Couple over a year ago

sheffield

Speaking from my own personal experience

~approximately 18months ago Carl my beloved Fiance,began to lose his lobedo (for no apparent reason) He had every test available,went through rigourous questionaires with numerous consultants,who came to the conclusion that it may/or maynot come back !! OMFG

He was only in his early 50's,& in his sexual prime ,so why the fcuk should this happen to an extremley fit & healthy man,God only knows!!!

For over 18Months i had to put with being constantly turned down,pushed away & generally negleted sexually on a daily basis ~ and ALL i can say is ~

IT WAS AWFUL & TOTALLY FRUSTRATING &

it "almost" cost us our relationship TBPH ~ OMG!!!

BUT ~ Just 5weeks ago, a really good friend of ours told us both about this FABSITE & AMAZING "L I F E ~ S T Y L E!!

& all we can say is "THANKS A MILLION FABSWINGERS.COM!!" ,because without the knowledge of a swingers cuckhold agreement & the straight4ward simple way you can meet 1000's of genuine ppl who ALL totally 100% know what you need and want & never judge u for it or need to know why ~all we can say is ~

"TALK TO HER ABT HOW YOU FEEL & COMMUNICATE,as now~ i wish i had done that 18months ago xx Alex

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By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

Just ask yourself this question... Is the pleasure you get from fucking strangers worth the pain and destruction it will cause your wife when she finds out what you've been doing behind her back?

As others have said TALK TO HER, explain your needs, try and understand her's and then maybe you can come up with a compromise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dont cheat tell her how u feel or move on to much hurt for her if u do and thats not fair

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Imagine how she feels, what are you doing to help. Intead of spending the time on here why not look after your kids, give her a break, book a holiday just the two of you.

You blame her for your problems without considering that she knows you are here...and believe me she knows and thinks you see her as undesirable.

Man up and choose, why wont she let you see her ,what are you doing tonight to make her feel sexy and desirable? Imagine if the time you spent cheating was spent with her Z?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always have mixed feelings about post like this

Men who just wnat their cake and eat is annoy me, lots of guys have a perfectly good sex life at home and still fuck about and to me thats wrong

However there are also guy like the one posted above where he is looking to replace something his wifes not giving him

Now its easy for us to sit here and say it wrong but be honest how many of you would go without sex for years? its a basic human need most of us have

So what do you do, split up your family, leave your kids, a wife you love, a woman whos feeling low anyway, you kick her even further down by leaving her?

Im not saying i think cheatings ok

But

No string sex is just that, i meet guys with no emotional attachment and go home to a empty house, so why cant he do that and go back to his wife?

Do people really think guys like this should leave their whole family because they have sexual needs?

Its really a hard one, as i say i dont agree with cheating but i can sympathise with certain situations

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

But it may not just be that, it could be the drugs for the Thyroid problem, it could be one of a hundred reasons. You married this woman because you loved her, it wasn't just about sex, it was about the way she made you laugh, the conversations you had, your mutual interests and friends. The fact that she was beautiful (and still is) to YOU.

As others have said, start communicating, but do it delicately. By her some nice clothes, and tell her you thought she would look beautiful in them, YOU made a promise to care for her, start thinking outside the box on that.....

My friend, the only way we get through this life is with the love, support and understanding of our friends, lovers and family, start being the former and latter and the middle one will come back.....

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By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

There is something that I don't understand with this particular case...

If my wife was in this state, sex with anyone else would be the last thing on my mind... but maybe that's just me.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

[Removed by poster at 12/09/11 01:46:58]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Probably NOT the most sympathetic place to say this but .......

Sex isn't vital to life.

No one is standing on his bleedin air pipe nor is he starving to death. He has a right arm I presume? Isn't it possible to get real love from a partner and satisfy yourself ? Would ugly people who can't get sex get any sympathy ... I doubt it. What about rapists ? Not there fault is it - they have no self control. The lack of sex drove them to it ..

The sooner people realise that there ARE choices and cheats CHOOSE to cheat and stop bleating for acceptance and forgiveness the better.

Ask me for sympathy for those without food, without shelter , without love, without hope....for those in the midst of war, famine , disease and death but don't ask me to sympathise with a proxy faithful who wants a spare vag to offload in.

For any record. I really don't judge. I really do NOT mind who is shagging who. It's small potatoes.

I won't pat backs and say it's okay either. It's not.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

""In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

Ouch .... that's beautifully put.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

I always have mixed feelings about post like this

Men who just wnat their cake and eat is annoy me, lots of guys have a perfectly good sex life at home and still fuck about and to me thats wrong

However there are also guy like the one posted above where he is looking to replace something his wifes not giving him

Now its easy for us to sit here and say it wrong but be honest how many of you would go without sex for years? its a basic human need most of us have

So what do you do, split up your family, leave your kids, a wife you love, a woman whos feeling low anyway, you kick her even further down by leaving her?

Im not saying i think cheatings ok

But

No string sex is just that, i meet guys with no emotional attachment and go home to a empty house, so why cant he do that and go back to his wife?

Do people really think guys like this should leave their whole family because they have sexual needs?

Its really a hard one, as i say i dont agree with cheating but i can sympathise with certain situations"

Then visit an escort, clean,simple and honest.

i had a friend who told me his wife didnt have sex, i got to know him better(yes a pity shag, i was young and naive) and discovered they had sex, he just found it unsatisfying. I suggested a hundred different solutions, every one was met with, i dont want to rock the boat.

Over the years i have discovered that is always the way...why risk the tea on the when they can have their cake and eat it.

i now save my pity for the poor partner who is unsatisfied at home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

Ouch .... that's beautifully put."

Am I forgiven for the Ode? (please!!)

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Probably NOT the most sympathetic place to say this but .......

Sex isn't vital to life.

The sooner people realise that there ARE choices and cheats CHOOSE to cheat and stop bleating for acceptance and forgiveness the better.

For any record. I really don't judge. I really do NOT mind who is shagging who. It's small potatoes.

I won't pat backs and say it's okay either. It's not.

Bloody hell i wish youd made the red white and blue party,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How would you feel if you had a health condition and became self conscious and lost your libido. Would you be happy to find out your wife was on a swinging site shagging about?? No offence mate but i think people should think about these things before they make sacred vows to each other. Hope you eventually both work things out each other

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Probably NOT the most sympathetic place to say this but .......

Sex isn't vital to life.

The sooner people realise that there ARE choices and cheats CHOOSE to cheat and stop bleating for acceptance and forgiveness the better.

For any record. I really don't judge. I really do NOT mind who is shagging who. It's small potatoes.

I won't pat backs and say it's okay either. It's not.

Bloody hell i wish youd made the red white and blue party,

So you could stand on my fingers ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

""In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

Ouch .... that's beautifully put.

Am I forgiven for the Ode? (please!!)"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Granny it's past ya bed time xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

Ouch .... that's beautifully put.

Am I forgiven for the Ode? (please!!)

No"

Ok is there some kind of forfeit I can pay to get off the hook? I am independently wealthy, I can "pimp" your mobility scooter

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Granny it's past ya bed time xx

I'm up in four hours

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

""In sickness and in health"......

At the moment your wife (for whatever reason) has low self esteem, and you have a "normal" libido (for a given value). Due to your wifes self esteem her libido has fallen away.

Ouch .... that's beautifully put.

Am I forgiven for the Ode? (please!!)

Ok is there some kind of forfeit I can pay to get off the hook? I am independently wealthy, I can "pimp" your mobility scooter

What do I want with four feet ? come to think of it ....

I don't believe you are independently wealthy. You struggle with the definition of solvent.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

King's Crustacean

P.S.

You are off the hook.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Granny it's past ya bed time xx

I'm up in four hours

Me too but will probably be up still lol

3 sleep in the last 30 again come sit on me face and tell me a goodnight story mwah xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"P.S.

You are off the hook."

I'm in love and I want the world to know it......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"P.S.

You are off the hook.

I'm in love and I want the world to know it......"

Congrats when's the wedding? Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" You married this woman because you loved her, it wasn't just about sex, it was about the way she made you laugh, the conversations you had, your mutual interests and friends. The fact that she was beautiful (and still is) to YOU.

but people change

The person you end up with isnt always the person you marrird

Who you loved on your wedding day could be a totally different person 10/15 years down the line

Thats why so many of us get divorced

Sometimes marrages cant always be salvaged as easy as buying her a dress and telling her how nice she look

Sometimes people grow apart and its time to move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but people change

The person you end up with isnt always the person you marrird

Who you loved on your wedding day could be a totally different person 10/15 years down the line

Thats why so many of us get divorced

Sometimes marrages cant always be salvaged as easy as buying her a dress and telling her how nice she look

Sometimes people grow apart and its time to move on "

I agree, being divorced myself, however the OP was contemplating cheating, on someone with a low libido. If he doesnt love her anymore, he should set her free (and himself in the process), if this is just about sex and he enjoys all other aspects of her company, then he has to help her through this to get back the woman he loves.

Cheating will be momentarily gratification (careful Granny one insult about my prowess a day is enough!), but will not resolve the underlying issue, in the end guilt will ensue, arguements (and well you are divorced, maybe yours was "clean" but they can get messy right, if someone else is involved)

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By *ssentialminx2011Couple over a year ago

sheffield

The common denominator surely is 100% trust!!??? "no" ??

Irretrivable breakdown ~ due to lack of communication ~is the BIGGEST CAUSE of DIVORCE in the world !! F A C T !!!

I communicated ~but obviously (initially) not loud enough!! lol ~ i only wish i had (screamed louder!!)~18months ago MUCH LOUDER TBPH!!!

AS FOR the forums being "CLICHY" WTF??

The FAB Forums are open to ANYONE who cares to add "their 6penneth!!;-);-)

END OF !! THERE FOR :- knowbody is right and knowbody is wrong (free speech un all that),but be a gud boy scout (be "prepared") lol to take as gud as ya give ~ cos if ya cant stand the t'heat ~then simply dont bother doing ya cooks badge M8!! xx

;-)

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